by Reana Malori
“You’re so dang crazy!” She laughed when he released her. Punching him in the arm, she fussed at him. “Why haven’t you been down here to see us? The girls miss Uncle Noah.”
“Ouch, woman! Quit assaulting me,” he howled in fake anger. “As long as you stop beating me up, I’ll be over before I leave.”
Rolling her eyes, she turned her head to look at someone behind him. Her lips lifted in a smile, and her eyes got a wicked gleam. “Hey, Janae.”
Noah turned around to greet her friend. The sight before him stole his breath. Her hair was long, straight, and styled in a high ponytail. His gaze floated over her face, her skin the color of his favorite soft caramel candy. Hazel eyes framed by thick, long lashes. Lips so lush, he wanted to lean in and kiss her. He didn’t give one shit that he didn’t even know her full name or anything else about her. Including, if she already had a man. His stomach felt funny, which had never happened before. Unable to turn his gaze away from her face, it took a moment before he noticed her hand was outstretched to him.
“Hi, Noah. I’m Janae. It’s so nice to finally meet you in person. Stephanie’s told me so much about you.”
Fuck. Even her damn voice was beautiful.
After a nudge in the arm from Stephanie, he looked over at his friend’s meddling wife. Her eyes were wide as she kept motioning to her friend. “Aren’t you going to say something, Noah?”
Turning back to Janae, he extended his hand, grabbing her smaller one in his larger appendage. “Nice to meet you, too. Goddamn, you’re fucking beautiful.”
CHAPTER 2
Janae
Five Years Ago
Janae noticed the two large men standing with Stephanie when she came around the corner. She’d stopped at the restroom when they’d first arrived. Too much coffee and water when she’d woken up this morning. The “too handsome for his own good” black man facing her was Stephanie’s husband. She hadn’t met him before, but, based on the numerous pictures strategically placed around Stephanie’s desk, and the stories she’d been told, she felt like she knew him already.
From the way he looked at his wife, she could tell he truly loved her. Smile faltering a bit, she felt a pang of envy slice through her body. One day, she would have a love like theirs with a man who looked at her as if she hung the moon in the sky. A God-fearing man who understood church was important to her. Well, better yet, important to her family. Therefore, it had to be important for her as well. Her parents would never forgive her if her husband wasn’t right with the Lord.
At twenty-seven, she shouldn’t care what her parents thought. However, their wants and needs for their children had been ingrained in her from the time she could form words. Didn’t matter that she didn’t want the kind of life they led. Her parents didn’t have a bad life, because from what she could see, they didn’t. Where she differed from them is that she didn’t see herself living in Jacksonville, North Carolina until she died of old age. Bored. Unfulfilled. Stifled. A lifetime full of regrets. This was not the life she wanted, but it was looking more like this was the life she was going to get. And honestly, it fucking sucked.
Sighing, she forced her smile to remain in place as she approached the trio. The other man standing next to Stephanie was larger than Heath. His arms were visible since he wore a short-sleeve T-shirt and blue jeans. Black boots covered his feet. Giggling to herself, she wondered where his leather jacket and motorcycle were. Short, dark hair covered his head, but his broad back begged for a longer look. Damn, the man was built.
She wasn’t an innocent by any stretch of the word, but this man made her want to sin. Sin again. Then sin a little more. She’d never dated a white man. Hell, she’d never seen any of her friends’ date outside of their race. Definitely not while growing up. Even now, as adults, none of the women she’d grown up with dated anyone other than black men. A sudden visual of large pale hands trailing up her darker skin raced through her mind. Stop, Janae. Your mind is getting ahead of you.
Her words would have had more impact if he’d never turned around.
If only she’d never seen his ruggedly handsome face. If only his chest hadn’t looked to be carved out of granite. And those gorgeous pink lips. They looked soft, juicy, kissable. Just the way she liked. And why did his eyes travel up and down her body, as if she were a gift delivered from the heavens just for him?
And then he spoke.
“Nice to meet you, too. Goddamn, you’re fucking beautiful.”
Her body quivered in response. Nipples pebbling at the gravelly tone. Shocked at first, she could only look up at him with a smile on her face. Standing five feet six inches on her best day, this guy Noah had to be at least six feet two. Maybe even six-three. Either way, he looked like he could pick her up and throw her over his shoulder, before making off with her to his secret lair.
And now she was getting fanciful. Yup, this Noah character had blown her mind within thirty-seconds of their meeting. She was in so much trouble.
*****
Six Months Later
“Everything about you makes me want you even more,” Noah’s gravelly voice filled her ears as they lay in bed.
“You know we can’t lie in bed all day.”
Giggling, she snuggled closer to him. His broad chest served as her pillow. His long limbs were wrapped around her much smaller form like a blanket. His body heat warming her from the chill lingering in her bedroom.
Since that first day, he’d been the only man on her mind and in her dreams. His name was the one on her lips as she pleasured herself in the darkness, remembering their times together. The thought of their lovemaking had her body squirming. The things he could do with just his tongue, one finger, and those succulent ass lips had her quivering.
Whoever said white men didn’t know how to throw down in the bedroom clearly had never met Noah Braddock. If she had anything to say about it, they never would. Feelings she never thought would happen, bubbled over as she nestled within his strong embrace. They’d seen each other every chance they could. Either she went to him in Norfolk, or he came down to North Carolina. She knew he had a dangerous job, but they never talked about it.
Ever.
For her, it was a matter of don’t ask, don’t tell. If she could avoid the reality of knowing Noah was out there risking his life, she could live in oblivion. For him, she was positive his job had a clearance level preventing him from saying much, if anything. She wasn’t stupid though. Living around a military base her entire life, she knew how things went down.
She’d seen so much over the years living in this area. Guys who came back with post-traumatic stress. Those who ranted and raved about the people they’d killed. The friends who’d been killed, or worse, lost limbs in front of them. They’d talk of the ongoing damage to the countries they visited, the despair of not knowing if they would live or die. The unending desire to end the pain they were feeling.
Tears would flow down their faces as they questioned why the US military was over there in a foreign country in the first place. How they could send men barely into adulthood to a country that didn’t want them there. They didn’t understand why their country chose to protect people who hated everything it stood for. And all the while, she saw resentment and disdain grow inside many service-members who just wanted to live their lives in peace, serving their country without giving up their lives.
No. She didn’t want to know the specifics about what he did. As his woman, her role was to comfort him. Hold him when he needed it most, even when he tried to deny it was what he wanted. Her job was to give her man peace. When they were together, there was nothing else to interfere with their time.
Rubbing her hand on his chest, she kissed the tattoos covering his skin. “Why do you have so many tattoos?” When he failed to answer her, she looked up, expecting to find him dozing off. He wasn’t. Gaze bright, he stared down at her with a look of hesitation on his face.
“Do you really want to know?�
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Looking in his face, she knew the answer wasn’t going to be something she wanted, nor expected. This wasn’t a story of how he got drunk in college and decided tattoos were his life. Turning her focus back to the large expanse of skin, she bit her bottom lip, her hand hovering a little closer. This time, instead of mindlessly grazing over the skin with the soft pads of her fingers, she took her time. Eyes wide open, her fingers slowly traced the tattoo patterns covering the bare skin of his chest.
Without saying another word, she allowed her soft touch along his skin to tell her what she couldn’t bear to let him voice out loud. Ever so slowly, as she moved her fingertips along his skin, she felt ridges. Small sections of puckered skin.
Tears fell, the wetness trailing down her face. Her breath stuttered in her chest.
“Janae,” his soft, gravelly voice called out to her.
Shaking her head, she forced the words out. “No. Let me do this. We don’t talk about what you do. I know this isn’t a topic we usually allow to get in the middle of our time together. On any other day, I’m okay with that. But this time, I asked the question.” She paused to take a deep breath before continuing. “If I can’t understand that you risk your life for me, for this country, and it could possibly someday lead to you getting hurt, or worse, then I don’t deserve you. Please, Noah. Just let me do this.”
“Baby,” his voice was thick, filled with something she couldn’t describe.
Taking a deep breath, she lifted her gaze to his. “You are so beautiful. You know that, right?” To her, no other man in the world could take his place. Everything about him was rugged and handsome. The shape of his jaw. His crooked smile. The roughness of his hands gripping her tight. Her man had scars and puckered skin from years of battle. Noah was a warrior through and through. And he was all hers.
His lips lifted at the corners. “Men aren’t beautiful. But you… well, you’re a damned siren sent to bring me to my knees. Forcing me to worship at your feet.”
Tingles traveled through her body at his words. She loved this man so much. At that thought, she froze. Could she feel so strongly about him so soon? Yes, she could. She did. She wanted him with every fiber of her being. They’d make it work. Even if it took months or years of interstate travel. They’d find a way. They had to. Right?
Looking at the clock, they had another three hours before they’d be forced to get dressed. They were meeting Heath and Stephanie at their house for lunch. They were the only ones who knew about her and Noah. That was how they both wanted it. For now, anyway. Pretty soon, things would need to change.
She wasn’t looking forward to the confrontation or the relentless questions from her parents. But she’d been playing house with Noah for far too long now. If they continued in secret, it would be viewed by her family and friends as embarrassment. Some may even view it as shame of Noah and their relationship. Neither of those assumptions were true, but facts would no longer matter. Perception would rule the day. Granted, she’d hesitated with him. Taken their relationship slower than normal but it was only because she was being cautious. Janae wanted to make sure this thing between them was authentic before causing chaos and upheaval within her family. They’d both need to be willing and able to weather the storm if they had any chance of making it to the other side.
Noah moved his thick, muscled body closer to hers, nestling between the warmth of her legs. Pressing the limb against her nether lips, he moaned. “Are you tender?”
Deciding to throw him off his game, she shifted to the side, pushing him onto his back. Rising over him, she adjusted her form, straddling his hips; her bare pussy resting on his thickening length. “Not at all. As a matter of fact,” she leaned down, kissing his neck. Tracing her tongue along the sensitive skin under his ear, she moved her lower body. “I want more. Are you gonna give me what I need?”
“Baby, I’d give you the fucking world if I could.”
“All I want is your cock inside me,” she whispered in his ear. His hands jerked to her waist. She felt his manhood become thicker as his mushroomed head pressed into her tight passage. Using one hand to reach back and grab his length, she positioned her warm opening over his cock before pressing the tip against her. “Always so good,” she couldn’t help but mutter. “Fill me, Noah.” Releasing him, she allowed gravity and their combined need for each other to do the rest.
“Look at me,” he growled.
Opening her eyes, she caught his gaze. What she saw reflected caused her heart to skip a beat. There was no denying this was real. Noah slid deep inside her as they stared at each other, and they both moaned once he was fully seated. “Noah,” she whimpered.
“Janae.”
“I—I…” she wanted to say the words but knew this wasn’t the time. You never say those three words in the heat of sex. They lose their power. She’d just tell him later.
“It’s okay, baby. I know. I feel it too.” Grabbing her by the neck, he brought her face down to his. Kissing her softly, he released her lips before laying her head in the crook of his neck. His other hand rested on her lower back, pressing her firmly down onto his as he lifted his hips.
Their lovemaking was slow, soft, perfect. Noah was everything she’d hoped for and dreamed of for so long. Wrapping her arms under his shoulders, she held on while he took her where they both needed to go. Wetness fell from her eyes as she basked in the love of a good man. A protector. A warrior. He was hers, and she was his. Finally.
*****
Six Months Later
Janae walked up to her parents’ front door. She knew this day would come. Looking over her shoulder, she wanted to get back in her car and drive back to her house. Today wasn’t the day for this. They had church tomorrow. Her father hadn’t been feeling well. No. Today wasn’t the day to have this conversation. Just as she turned around, intent on returning home, the door opened.
“Janae? Baby, why are you just standing out here on the doorstep without coming in?”
Her mother’s sweet voice beckoned her. She wanted to turn around, but her body wouldn’t move. Tears began to flow down her cheeks. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Noah was supposed to be here with her. Standing by her side. Proclaiming his love of Janae to her parents. Both putting on brave faces as they thumbed their noses at old prejudices and bigotry.
Instead, she stood alone. Angry. Hurt. Confused. He’d been gone for six months, with no call nor an email. Not even a message sent through Heath or Stephanie. Nothing. Maybe it was her almost declaration that she felt something more for him than just sexual attraction. Maybe it was the need for him shining in her eyes whenever he held her close, their bodies entwined in passion. Or so she thought.
“Janae,” her mother called out. Her tone sharper in the ensuing silence.
Taking a deep breath, she turned around. Might as well rip off the bandage. Speak the truth and shame the devil.
“Hi, Mom. I’m sorry it took me so long to stop by. I’ve been having a hard time lately.”
Her mother’s eyes bulged. The older took a step back. Her hand rising to her throat, she stared at Janae’s stomach. “Janae? Baby? You’re pregnant.”
“Yes, I am.” She tried forcing her lips into a smile but could sense the moment she’d failed.
Her mother looked down at her left hand. Then looked around, as if searching for someone. “Come inside. Are you alone, or are we waiting for someone else?”
Shaking her head, Janae balled her fists. “No. No one else, Momma. It’s just me.” Stepping inside her parents’ home, she’d never felt so alone or betrayed.
She was carrying the child of a man she loved and hated with equal fervor.
A man who’d abandoned her without a word.
Heartbreak and embarrassment were constant companions.
The constant stares and murmurs from friends and strangers alike had become too much. She was surprised no one had gotten to her parents before she did.
Alone
and pregnant by a man who’d promised her the world, shown her what life could be, enticed her with seductive words and amazing sex, while looking at her as if she were the only woman in the world.
In the end, all he gave her were broken promises.
She had no idea what she was going to do.
CHAPTER 3
Noah
Four Years Later
Noah didn’t know why he was here. This was a bad idea. Too much time had passed. Would he be welcome? If he tried to explain, would she even listen?
Sitting in his truck across from the small house in Jacksonville, he questioned for the tenth time if he was doing the right thing. So much had happened during the time he’d been away, he wasn’t sure she was even the same person. Was he?
What he’d felt for Janae had been real. There’d been no other woman he’d wanted more than her. No woman who made him long for more than what he had. Hell, he hadn’t even wanted the whole family dream. Not until her.
Then he’d left her alone.
Running his large hand down his face, he rubbed along the short beard growing there. Typically, he liked to be clean-shaven, but with his job, he couldn’t always have it the way he wanted.
Kids riding their bikes passed in front of the truck. Their loud, exuberant yells as they called out to their friends or laughed, made his lips twitch and lift in a grimace. Had he ever been that young? That carefree? He felt as though he’d always been the guy he was today. Grumpy. Jaded. Cynical. And, according to his adopted sister Adele, much too serious because he didn’t seem to relax or smile very often.
Noah didn’t have time for any of that. Nah, that kind of thing was for young fools and people who deserved a life of carefree happiness. That kind of thing was for people who hadn’t lived in hell for weeks or months on end and seen the worst in people on too many occasions to count.