A Place of Peace

by Amy Clipston

  “Lilly fabricated the stories about Timothy cheating on me and vice versa. She was jealous of me, and she wanted to tear Timothy and me apart.” Miriam’s voice quavered. “I wanted you to know I never did anything to hurt Timothy. I left the community after Jeremy Henderson died because I felt I had nowhere else to go.”

  Frowning, Beth Anne shook her head. “I’m so sorry your sister caused the breakup.”

  “Ya.” Miriam swiped away an errant tear. “I’ve forgiven her, but I have disappointment and regret in my heart.” She forced a sad smile. “But I know Timothy and Naomi are going to be married in the fall, and I wish him all of the happiness in the world.” Although I wish I could share that happiness with him.

  “Miriam.” Beth Anne took her hand again. “You’re a strong woman.”

  “I can’t change the past.” Miriam sat up straight. “God is in control, and I need to follow His lead. I’m going to be baptized in October.”

  Beth Anne’s wide smile returned to her lips. “That’s wunderbaar!”

  “Danki. I’d love for you to be there.”

  “I’d love to come and share the special day with you. You just let me know.” Beth Anne gestured toward the door. “When would you like to start back here? We need you as soon as you’re available.”

  “I’m going to go back to Indiana tomorrow to tie up some loose ends. I need to get rid of my car, give notice to my employer, and pack up some things. I also need to explain to my cousin Abby exactly what my plans are. I’d like to start when I get back.”

  Beth Anne nodded. “That sounds perfect.”

  “My sisters and I will be caring for my daed, so I may need a day or two off during the week.”

  “Family always comes first.” Beth Anne smiled. “I’m so froh you’re coming back. You sounded so sad when you left me the message the day you left. I was worried about you.”

  “I was very upset. My daed had thrown me out of his house, and then Lilly had told me—” Miriam stopped mid-sentence. She was afraid to reveal too much of her feelings about Timothy to Beth Anne. Since Beth Anne was his sister, Miriam didn’t want to make her feel uneasy or caught in the middle between them. “Lilly confessed she had lied to Timothy. It was too much for me to handle.”

  Beth Anne shook her head. “I can’t imagine how that betrayal felt.”

  “I did some soul searching and decided I couldn’t stay in a community where my family treated me like a stranger. That’s why I left.”

  “It makes sense. Family members are our most important allies.”

  Miriam smiled. “It feels gut to be back. And I’m so thankful you’ll extend the job to me again. Danki, Beth Anne. You’re a wunderbaar friend.”

  “You’re always welcome, Miriam.” Beth Anne squeezed her hand again. “Don’t forget that.”

  They chatted for a few moments about how busy the bakery had been and then Beth Anne led Miriam back to the kitchen.

  “Miriam is coming back to work with us,” Beth Anne announced. “She’s going to be baptized and join the church too.”

  “Wunderbaar!” Elizabeth rushed over and hugged Miriam. “I’m so froh to hear the news.”

  “That’s gut,” Kathryn said with a smile. “I’m glad to hear it.”

  Miriam wondered if Hannah had something to do with Kathryn’s change of heart or if it was because Timothy had finally moved on with his life and was going to marry someone else.

  “Danki,” Miriam said. “I’ll be starting in about a week. I need to travel back to Indiana to take care of a few things. Once I get back, I’ll be here for good.”

  “I’m so froh for you,” Elizabeth said, squeezing Miriam’s hand. “You’re welcome here anytime.”

  “I’ll call you when I get back,” Miriam said.

  “Perfect. Have a safe trip.” Beth Anne hugged her again.

  Heading to her car, Miriam whispered a prayer of thanks to God for her wunderbaar friends in Lancaster County.

  Timothy was reading his Bible when a knock sounded at the front door later that evening. He crossed the room, opened the door, and found Beth Anne smiling on the porch with a pie in her hand.

  He raised an eyebrow with suspicion. “I’ve fallen for this before, Beth Anne. You can’t possibly think I will again, do you?”

  “It’s apple pie.” She moved the pie back and forth in front of him. “Yum. Smell it? It’s appeditlich.”

  He grinned and shook his head. “Incorrigible,” he muttered, motioning for her to enter his home. He led her into the kitchen, where he grabbed plates and utensils. “What are we going to discuss this time? Or should I say, what will you lecture me about?”

  “What if this is a friendly visit?” she asked, grabbing a knife from a drawer.

  “What if I’m a monkey’s uncle?”

  She laughed while cutting the pie.

  “Coffee?” he offered.

  “No, thanks. But make it if you’d like some.”

  He lowered himself into the chair across from her and breathed in the warm, sweet aroma of the pie. “You and Mamm are the best bakers I know.”

  “Miriam is better than me by far.” She served him a piece and then licked her fingers.

  His stomach twisted.

  So, this is about Miriam—again.

  He swallowed a groan. He’d been trying in vain to forget Miriam, but her beautiful face filled his mind every time he laid his head on the pillow at night. She’d managed to capture his heart once again.

  He forked some pie into his mouth and moaned with pleasure. “You’ve outdone yourself. It melts in my mouth.”

  She smirked. “Danki.”

  “Are you here to discuss her again?” he asked.

  “Who?”

  He narrowed his eyes with annoyance. “Miriam.”

  “Ya.” She took a bite of the pie. “Ack, it is gut.”

  After another bite, he stared at his sister. “Will you get to the point, please? I haven’t got all night. I have to be to work early tomorrow to finish up a big project.”

  “She came to see me today,” Beth Anne said.

  His heart thumped in his chest. “Miriam? She’s back?”

  “Her daed had a stroke.” She eyed him with suspicion. “Naomi didn’t tell you? She’s close to Lilly.”

  “She’d told me about the stroke, but I didn’t know Miriam came back.”

  “Her daed finally forgave her for leaving, and Lilly and Gerald apologized for how they’d treated her. They want her to come back and be a member of the family again.”

  “And …?” He held his breath for the answer.

  “She’s coming back to stay and joining the church.”

  Timothy studied his sister while the words filtered through his mind.

  Miriam is back.

  She’s joining the church.

  She’s back for good.

  The words registered, and his eyes widened.

  “There’s more.” Beth Anne leaned forward, her expression serious. “Lilly confessed she was responsible for your breakup.”

  He scowled in defense. “What does that mean?”

  “She confessed that she made up the lies about Miriam cheating on you and you cheating on her because she was jealous. She fabricated those lies to ruin Miriam’s life.”

  He studied his pie while he considered his sister’s words. Unable to speak, he raked his fingers through his hair.

  It was true—his plans for a life with Miriam were derailed due to a lie told by Lilly Lapp.

  Yet it simply didn’t make sense. What would motivate Lilly Lapp to do that? What could she have been jealous about?

  However, the truth also didn’t change anything. He would stick to his current life plan with Naomi. It was the right and decent thing to do. Timothy Kauffman was a man of his word.

  “It doesn’t matter,” he finally said, meeting Beth Anne’s intent gaze. “I’ve made a promise to Naomi that I intend to keep. It’s only right.”

  Beth Anne paused for a m
oment. “I just wanted you to know she’s going to be back for good, and she’ll be working in the bakery.”

  “What do you mean she’ll be back? I thought you said she was already back.”

  “She’s going to Indiana to gather up her things and tie up some loose ends. Once she arrives back in town, she’ll work for me in the bakery and help her sisters care for her daed. She’ll be baptized in October.”

  He tried in vain to ignore the anxiety roaring through his veins at the thought of seeing Miriam in the bakery. How would he endure daily encounters with her when her brown eyes sent heat coursing through him, head to toe?

  “I wish her well,” he mumbled, forking more pie.

  “Do you?” Beth Anne’s stare was penetrating.

  “Ya, I do.” He made idle chitchat about work and how busy the shop was until Beth Anne stood and cleared the dishes. “Danki for the pie.”

  “Gern gschehne.”

  He followed her to the door. “I’ll most likely see you tomorrow.”

  “Gut.” She gave him a coy smile. “I just wanted you to know about Miriam. You know, you’re not married yet.”

  “A promise is a promise.”

  “Right.” She headed down the porch stairs. “Gut nacht.”

  He echoed the parting words and then slumped against the door frame.

  He shook his head with disbelief. Miriam’s own sister had ruined their plans to be a family. How could she do it? Jealousy was a sin! It didn’t make sense—Lilly had never shown interest in Timothy. Why had she been jealous?

  And now Miriam was going to return and finally join the church. He’d never expected that news. How was he going to suppress his feelings for Miriam when she was going to be a member of the bakery staff?

  Nevertheless, he needed to be strong—for sweet, innocent Naomi. He could never hurt Naomi the way Miriam had hurt him when she had left without an explanation.

  The past was still the past.

  Apple Butter Pie

  Pastry for 9-inch crust and ½-inch strips for top

  1/2 cup apple butter

  2 eggs, beaten

  1/2 cup sugar

  1 – 3/4 Tbsp cornstarch

  1 – 1/2 tsp cinnamon

  2 cups milk

  Combine apple butter, eggs, sugar, cornstarch, and cinnamon and mix well. Add the milk gradually and blend. Pour into unbaked pie shell. Top with crisscrossed strips of crust. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.

  18

  The following morning, Miriam steered her Honda down the paved driveway toward the Henderson farm, where she had worked for the English family as a nanny before she left the community and moved to Indiana. She’d convinced herself the only way to move forward was to face her past. With her heart beating an erratic cadence in her chest, she threw her Honda into Park in front of the barn and climbed from the car. While she was walking toward the back porch, the screen door opened and slammed against the wooden door frame.

  Colleen Henderson stepped out onto the porch with a dish-towel in her hand. She looked just as Miriam remembered. Her hair was still shoulder length and a deep auburn. The only difference was a few lines around her eyes, revealing she was on the cusp of forty.

  She studied Miriam. Recognition flooded her expression, and a tentative smile curved her lips. “Miriam?” she asked. “Miriam Lapp?”

  Miriam cleared her throat and stood at the bottom of the porch steps, uncertain if she should climb them. “I was hoping to speak with you for a moment.”

  “My! You’re all grown up.” She waved the dishrag, beckoning Miriam. “Please, come in. Would you like a glass of cold lemonade?”

  “Danki.” Miriam climbed the steps and entered the spacious kitchen.

  “How is your family?” she asked, pouring the lemonade into two large glasses from a clear pitcher with a drawing of a lemon on the side.

  “Mamm passed away about a month ago, and Daed is in the hospital. He had a stroke and is partially paralyzed.”

  Colleen clapped a hand to her mouth. “I’m so sorry. I hadn’t heard.” She motioned toward the table. “Please sit.”

  Miriam sank into a chair, and Colleen passed her a glass of lemonade.

  “I’m so sorry for all of the tragedy in your family.” Leaning across the table, she squeezed Miriam’s hand. “I’m sorry for your loss. Your mother was a wonderful lady. She always had a smile, and she never met a stranger.”

  “Danki.” Miriam sipped the lemonade, avoiding the tears threatening her eyes.

  “How is your father? Was it a massive stroke?”

  Miriam cleared her throat, hoping to stop the lump from stealing her voice. “He’s partially paralyzed—his arm and leg. But he’s going to be transferred to a rehabilitation facility where he’ll learn to care for himself—like how to dress and feed himself. My sisters and I will take turns caring for him when he comes home.”

  Colleen nodded. “I’d heard you left the community after—we lost Jeremy.”

  Miriam scanned the large, open kitchen as the events that transpired that day, the day that changed her life forever, returned to her. She’d been making chocolate chip cookies as a treat for Colleen and Trevor. Nearly four years later, Miriam could still smell the warm, sweet, freshly baked fragrance.

  She’d been leaning over the oven to retrieve the cookie sheet when a soft knock sounded at the front door. After grabbing the cookie sheet and placing it on the rack to cool, she hurried to the front door, where she found Timothy frowning on the front porch. A shiver gripped Miriam’s spine at the memory of that fateful conversation, the words of which ripped Miriam and Timothy apart for good.

  Earlier in the day, Lilly had told Miriam that Timothy was cheating on her. Therefore, when Timothy arrived to tell Miriam he couldn’t go with her to meet the bishop and discuss their wedding plans, Miriam had assumed Timothy was meeting his other girlfriend.

  Miriam was cold to Timothy, saying she didn’t believe he had to help his father with an important project at home. They’d argued, and he’d left in a huff.

  If only Miriam had known then that Lilly had started those rumors about Timothy’s cheating, then maybe, just maybe, Miriam and Timothy could’ve saved their relationship.

  After Timothy had left, Miriam had rushed back into the house and burst into tears in the kitchen. Standing by the counter, she studied the monitor, noticing that Jeremy hadn’t awakened for his four o’clock feeding. She rushed upstairs to his room and found he was eerily silent and still.

  When she touched his body, it was cool, and he wasn’t breathing. She had tried in vain to wake him, calling his name and gently shaking him. When he remained unresponsive, she had panicked, and with tears streaming down her cheeks, she called nine-one-one, praying and begging God to let little Jeremy be okay.

  Please, God. Please let him be okay. Please protect him, God.

  She called Colleen and, with a trembling voice and tears splattering her cheeks, told her to come home.

  The emergency medical technicians had arrived at the same time as Colleen and Trevor, but it was too late. Jeremy was already gone.

  Miriam could still see the hurt and blame in Colleen’s eyes when she demanded to know why Miriam hadn’t checked on her baby sooner.

  “Miriam?” Colleen asked, breaking through Miriam’s memories. “Are you okay?”

  Miriam wiped a stream of tears from her hot cheek. “Ya.” Her voice quavered. “Just memories.”

  Colleen’s genuine smile sent relief flooding through Miriam’s heart. “Oh, Miriam, please don’t blame yourself for what happened.”

  “I’ve worried about you and Trevor constantly the past four years,” Miriam whispered, her voice thick while she studied the wood grain on the kitchen table. “I prayed for you both every day. I’m so sorry I wasn’t in his room when he stopped breathing. I’ve replayed that day a thousand times in my mind, thinking of what I should’ve done differently. I should’ve sat outside his room and listened to him sleeping. I never shou
ld’ve answered the door when Timothy stopped by. I never should’ve stood out there and argued with—”

  “Shhh.” Colleen touched Miriam’s hand. “Look at me.”

  Miriam met her gaze.

  “Was that why you left? Because of what happened to Jeremy?”

  Miriam nodded, swiping away another tear. “That was a good part of why I left.”

  Colleen shook her head, her eyes filling with tears. “I’m so sorry for that. It wasn’t your fault.”

  Miriam raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

  “I was wrong, dead wrong, to blame you. Can you forgive me?”

  “Forgive you?” Miriam let the words soak in. “Who am I to forgive you when I was negligent and allowed your child to pass away?”

  Colleen wiped away her own tears. “See, that’s where you’re wrong. You were our scapegoat for our sadness and guilt, and really no one was to blame. What happened to Jeremy was no one’s fault. He died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.” She sniffed and cleared her throat. “There was nothing anyone could’ve done.”

  Miriam sucked in a breath. “So, you don’t blame me?”

  Colleen shook her head. “No. We were wrong to blame you. I wished I could’ve contacted you and told you, but I didn’t know where you were. I always wished I could’ve apologized.”

  Miriam felt an invisible weight lift from her heart. The Hendersons forgave her.

  A baby’s cry rang through the kitchen. Confusion ringing through her, Miriam looked at Colleen.

  Colleen smiled and gestured toward a baby monitor on the counter. “That’s Deanna.”

  “Deanna?” Miriam shook her head. “I don’t understand.”

  Colleen stood and pointed toward the stairs. “Come with me. She’d love to meet you.”

  Miriam followed Colleen upstairs, where they entered the bedroom across from Jeremy’s former room. The room was decorated in pink with white lacy curtains. A white crib sat in the center of the room, and a little blonde girl stood in the crib, holding onto the sides and jumping up and down while giggling.