Clicking Stones

by Nancy Tyler Glenn

  There is a jerk in Sacramento trying to get Clicking banned in public schools. They aren't going to stop kids from Clicking. If they pass a law the kids are still going to do it, even if they have to go into the restrooms to Click.

  Last week the followers of Jeremiah Schlafer (TV Evangelist) left pamphlets all over the cars in our parking lot. There was some crap about Clicking being of the devil because Lucifer means Light Bearer. He said if God had wanted us to Click we would have been born with Stones. He's the one who says God created Adam and Eve, not Madam and Eve.

  Jes is taller than Isi, and both are good at sports. Isi could throw her Stone up and catch it behind her back without looking before she was five. She also does a thing of lacing her Stone between her fingers so fast all you can see is a line of light. She's really into Stones and can't stand to see a Stone even partially faded. Jes is different. She really only likes to Click with Isi, Isa and me.

  In general everything has been pretty good. Billy is going to be here soon, and we're all healthy. Isi loves that new dance all the kids are doing - have you seen it? It's called Click Dancing.

  Morgan will be exhibiting her work again at Leona's. Wait until you see a whole body of her work. She still doesn't come to her openings. I was thinking about getting her address from Donna and dropping her a note, but my mom said Ted and Donna are in India - visiting (of all people) Swami Chichinanda.

  Love,

  Erica

  ~ Chapter 25 ~

  Undine didn't need guiding down the trail they had taken so many times together. Erica sat easily on the mare's bare back, letting the reins hang loose. It had been a mild winter and was warm for a spring day. The sun burned through her thin shirt. Undine reached the place where the trail started upward and turned automatically. Erica looked wistfully down at the Murdock place. Silently she cursed herself for not buying it when she had the opportunity.

  Suddenly she reached for the reins and pulled back. A large van had pulled in and parked in front of the rambling house. A woman came out of the house and opened the gate. Undine nickered impatiently. Erica nudged the mare with her bare foot and guided her back to the bottom of the trail. Absently she laced her Stone through her fingers as she watched burly men move large crates from the yard and carefully load them into the van. After a while the burly men left and the woman started to close the gate. She looked in Erica's direction. Erica waved. The woman waved back.

  Suddenly Erica felt shy and awkward. For the first time in a long while she dropped her Stone. She slipped off Undine's back to retrieve it, and when she looked up again the woman was walking up the trail toward her.

  Erica was fascinated. She had never seen anyone move with such grace and boldness. The way she held her head, the tilt of her chin - everything about her held Erica's attention. She had the look Erica had seen only in women who spent a great deal of time out of doors and have a strong bond with nature. The woman continued toward Erica, a hand shielding her eyes from the sun. She spoke in a slow, easy voice. "You looked magnificent sitting on that mare."

  Erica stared. Her arm tightened around Undine's neck. Her heart was pounding so hard she was sure the vibration was visible through her shirt. "Morgan!"

  The two women stood looking at each other for a long time.

  Finally, Morgan spoke with amused grace, "Would you like to come down to the house and have a cup of tea?"

  Erica came out of her trance. She guided Undine to a fallen log and stood on it, then climbed onto the mare's back. "I'll have to ride... I'm barefoot."

  Morgan's eyes left Erica's face and trailed down to her foot. She smiled. Suddenly Erica felt that her foot was naked.

  Morgan headed down the hill toward the house and Undine followed. Erica's eyes were wide. She stared at Morgan's back. It was Morgan's back. She tried to keep her head clear.

  "I'm glad I spotted you. I was a little distracted today with getting ready to install my show." Morgan spoke as easily as if she were accustomed to speaking to Erica every day. "I thought I saw you last week, but by the time I got out of the house you were gone." She looked back and noted the expression on Erica's face. "I'm not a ghost," she laughed happily, "I'm really not." She stopped and walked back to Erica.

  Erica was incredulous. "You aren't even surprised to see me."

  Morgan reached up and stroked Undine's nose. "No, I've had many wonderful and mysterious things happen in my life." She looked at Erica. "I'm very happy to see you."

  Erica allowed herself to focus on Morgan's face - that beautiful, strong face with high cheek bones and dark, magnetic eyes. Morgan's dark hair had a few gray strands. Erica noticed a thin scar on the left side of Morgan's chin and resisted the temptation to reach down and touch it.

  Undine stamped an impatient hoof. Morgan opened the gate. Erica slipped off Undine and led her toward the corral.

  As they passed the big tree, Morgan said, "Wait, bring the mare and sit under the tree."

  Bewildered, Erica did as she was told.

  Morgan nodded. "Yes, here is where I saw you. I wasn't sure when I bought the house, but now I am. You were sitting under this tree playing your flute. You'd been crying. This mare was standing by you."

  Erica was perplexed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

  Morgan sat down next to her under the tree. "I don't know if you heard, but when I was in Paris I was in a pretty bad accident."

  Erica nodded. She could feel energy pouring from Morgan's body.

  Morgan looked out into the distance. "I died on the operating table."

  "I know," Erica whispered. She felt an aftershock of the fear she experienced when she had learned about the crash.

  "Have you heard about people dying and going through a tunnel of light?" Morgan asked.

  "I've read about it."

  Morgan picked up a stick and began drawing circles on the ground. "I had an experience like that."

  Erica's head was buzzing. Her mind couldn't accept that she was sitting next to Morgan. Morgan was talking to her. She looked at a long thin scar on Morgan's right arm, from the wrist up to where Morgan had rolled her sleeve.

  Morgan held her arm straight. "I got this in the accident and," she touched her chin, "this too." She picked up the stick again. "I got a couple of other scars and I lost part of a lung." She made a face.

  Erica winced.

  Morgan reached over and touched Erica's knee. "I'm all right now. I just have to be a little bit careful with my health." She laughed. "I have strict orders not to get a cold."

  Erica could feel the heat from Morgan's hand on her knee. When Morgan removed her hand Erica could still feel the impression. She looked at Morgan's face. The haunted expression was gone.

  "When I walked into the light," Morgan continued, "I felt such a sense of freedom and total joy. The light was as bright as the light of a million Stones."

  Undine grazed uninterestedly on tufts of grass, moving a few steps away from the two women.

  Morgan's face was transfixed. "As I was moving up the tunnel I was met by Jesse."

  "Jesse, your brother?"

  Morgan nodded. "He told me to go back, that I had much to do. I argued with him. I told him I was tired and wanted to die. He said, 'Morgan we don't die. You haven't even started doing your own work. You have been doing my work instead of yours and acting just as crazy as I did.'" She looked at Erica. "He told me there were people who needed me and loved me, and then he brought me here and I saw you with your mare." Morgan pointed to Undine.

  Erica shook her head. "That's impossible, I've never been here with Undine since the day I bought her as a foal. You must have seen me with Maudeen. I used to bring her here and play my flute."

  Morgan was adamant. "I'm an artist. I don't miss details- I know it was the same animal."

  "No," Erica insisted. "I don't play the flute with Undine. It irritates her."

  "I know what I saw."

  "You're wrong," Erica assured her. "Maudeen's the only horse I ever br
ought here. The morning she died I came here and played the flute. She'd been sick all winter. Maudeen died sixteen years ago, January fifteenth, nineteen sixty-eight."

  Morgan blanched. "That's the morning I..."

  Erica reached over and brushed the back of Morgan's hand. "What's wrong?"

  Morgan absently touched her lips to the back of the hand Erica had brushed with her fingertips. She was quiet and stared ahead blankly. Finally she said, "That was the date Jesse brought me here." She pointed to Undine. "She was standing next to you. You'd been crying and I brushed a tear from your face." She reached up and touched Erica's face.

  Tears sprang to Erica's eyes. "Maudeen was here with me?"

  Undine seemed alarmed. She nickered softly and trotted over to Erica and nuzzled her. Erica reached up and stroked Undine's face. To Morgan she said, "I know you think you saw Undine but it was Maudeen. They don't look anything alike. Undine is a reincarnation of Maudeen but she doesn't remember. She only remembers being Undine."

  "Jesse believed in reincarnation." Morgan smiled. "He used to tease me. He said you and I were probably from the same starburst."

  Erica looked at Morgan. Her heart began pounding again. Morgan's loosely fitting shirt was open at the neck and she could see the pulse beat. "Why didn't you ever try to contact me?"

  Morgan looked surprised. "I did. When I got back from India I went to your center the same day. You were on vacation and couldn't be contacted so I left a note. I thought I was being cute - the note said something like, I have a Stone that has never been Clicked."

  "When did you write the note?"

  Morgan thought for a moment. "It must have been January of sixty-nine. I left you an address in New Mexico. In a few weeks I got a mimeographed letter telling me where my nearest Stone Clicking Center was located. I thought you were angry with me and I couldn't blame you. The last time you'd seen me I was..." She looked at Erica. "Are you all right?"

  Erica felt dizzy. "I had just returned from a vacation after my ordeal in San Francisco. Your note was probably processed with all the mail that had been forwarded."

  Morgan squeezed Erica's hand. "I'm glad you told me."

  Inside the house, Erica looked around appreciatively. "The furniture is all hand-crafted." She ran her fingers over the warm surface of the dining room table.

  "Yes. It's beautiful, isn't it?" Morgan agreed. "I bought all my furniture from the same craftswoman. I got the Zee-shaped table first, then the bookcase - everything came from the same place... even my bed."

  Erica looked up to see Morgan watching her. Her heart raced. "Are you teasing me?"

  Morgan's eyes twinkled. "No, I'm just thinking out loud."

  Erica flushed. Morgan was speaking of something she hadn't even dared to think about.

  Morgan changed the subject. She indicated the corner table. "Have you seen those?"

  Erica moved toward the table. "Oh, yes. Those are beautiful Stones. One is a Prehnite and the other a Gyrolite. They're from Poona, India aren't-" She stopped. Next to the Gyrolite was a Stone with an M on it. Erica picked it up. It was smaller than she had remembered. "You still have it." She was deeply moved.

  Morgan took the Stone from her hand. "I've never wanted to Click more than I do right now."

  Erica's eyes were liquid. She reached for her Stone.

  "No," Morgan stopped her. "We've waited this long. Why don't we have dinner - candlelight, soft music and..." Her voice trailed off. She was looking at Erica's mouth. She reached up and tenderly brushed those soft lips with her fingertips.

  Erica pressed Morgan's fingers against her lips. Her eyes searched Morgan's face. "Tonight?"

  "I'm sorry." Morgan's chagrin was evident in her voice. "I have to pick up my goddaughter and her mother at the airport today at five o'clock. They'll be here till Sunday."

  Erica swallowed her disappointment. "Where are they coming from?"

  "Texas. Britain has never been to California." She pointed to a photograph on the bookcase. "I'm very proud of her."

  "Britain is an unusual name." Erica picked up the photograph. Suddenly her blood turned to ice. "She looks just like her mother." Her voice was steel.

  "You aren't still jealous of Britt after - what is it? Almost thirty years?"

  "You seem to forget she was there when I visited you after you got back from Paris the first time," Erica reminded her.

  Morgan protested, "We weren't still lovers. We broke up before I went to Europe."

  "Are you denying that you slept with her when you got back?" Erica challenged.

  Morgan laughed helplessly. "Haven't you ever fallen into bed with... an old friend? Britt has been married for nineteen years.

  Erica didn't think it was funny. "Yes, I've fallen into bed, as you say, with an old friend. I've also fallen into bed with a married woman!"

  Morgan looked at the wall. "Why are we discussing this? I haven't asked you to explain your relationship with Isa."

  Erica whirled toward her. "How do you know about Isa?"

  Morgan led her into the den. She opened the bottom drawer of her desk to reveal a stack of Los Angeles Stone Clicking Center newsletters. "I've been getting these ever since I got that goddamned mimeographed notice. I know when you and Isa announced your relationship and I know when the babies were Clicked. I even know when they cut their first teeth."

  Erica couldn't deny it. Every aspect of her personal life had been announced in the newsletter for the last fifteen years. Finally she said, "Then you also know that Isa and I are no longer together."

  "No, I didn't know that for sure. I knew you broke up with her but she came back a year ago. You're still living with her so you must still love her."

  "I do love her," Erica admitted. "I watched her go through childbirth. How could I not love her? But I'm not in love with her. We're not lovers. We're friends."

  Morgan looked out the window toward the corral for a long time. Finally she said, "I could have sworn that was the same horse."

  After a while Erica asked, "Did your experience with Jesse change the way you think about things?"

  "Yes. After Jesse died I felt picked on and singled out to experience unbearable grief, and I felt guilty because I thought I'd killed him with the Stone."

  "How could you think that?"

  "He was in a coma," Morgan told her. "I held the Stone in front of his eyes and begged him to look at the light. I thought it would help him. He opened his eyes and said, 'I see it, Morgan, I see the light!'" Morgan took Erica's hand. "He died moments later. I thought the strain of the experience had killed him and became afraid of the power of the Stone."

  "Is that why you were doing his work instead of your own?"

  "Yes," Morgan said. "I considered him a great artist and needed to keep his vision alive."

  "I'm glad you started living your own vision." Erica squeezed her hand. "I love the work you've done. I'm looking forward to your new exhibition."

  Morgan drew Erica to her. "When I came back to life on the operating table I saw how all of us are connected in some mysterious way. I saw that people don't have separate interests. I wish we..."

  Erica looked into Morgan's face. Morgan was going to kiss her. Morgan was speaking. She could feel Morgan's hair touching her face. Morgan's fragrance filled her nostrils. She parted her lips in invitation and felt soft lips brush her own.

  Their mouths came together in a promise. It was Morgan. The sweetness in her mouth was Morgan.

  Morgan pulled her mouth away. Her lips were swollen with desire and her eyelids were half closed. "Will you come back on Sunday?" she pleaded.

  Erica looked at Morgan in a daze. "Of course I will. What time will you be free?" she whispered.

  "Can you be here by seven?" Morgan's voice was husky.

  Erica nodded. "Now walk me out to the corral. If I don't get out of here soon..."

  Morgan's eyes revealed her emotion. "I wish we had more time today."

  "We'll make up for it," Erica promised.


  ~ Chapter 26 ~

  Erica opened her apartment door and stared blankly ahead.

  "Hey, it's me." Kelly waved from the sofa. "What are you on? You look ripped."

  Erica came halfway out of her trance. "Hi, Kel. Sorry. I thought you were coming in tomorrow. I would have picked you up at the airport. Airport..." Erica's thoughts slipped to Morgan driving to the airport.

  "What's going on? I've never seen you so spaced."