by Lori Wick
When she wasn’t thinking about the girls, Jessie thought about Seth in a way she hadn’t for years. The feelings were so varied that she could barely think straight. Part of her believed she would never let him get close to her, and part of her recalled sweeter times.
She could tell from Rylan’s words that he believed Seth had changed. Well, she wasn’t the same either. There had been plenty of time to think about what had gone wrong in her marriage, and even though she would never believe that leaving was the right thing to do, a part of her understood.
Another very small part of her had been glad. She had grown up with quarreling parents and did not want that for Hannah. She thought time apart might do them some good. Never did it occur to her that he would stay away. It certainly never entered her mind that she would have their second child in his absence. She still remembered looking down into Clancy’s newborn face and realizing that she was going to be raising her alone. She had been forced at that point to put Seth from her mind and carry on.
Jessie continued to mull all of this over during the week she had asked for, thinking at times she was going to take leave of her senses. Had not Bri made a visit one evening, she might have done just that.
80”How are you?” Bri asked as soon the girls went to bed. She had been there since the store closed, just waiting for this moment.
“Most of the time I’m fine, and at other times I think he can’t possibly be back.”
“He’s been careful about that,” Bri said.
“How exactly?”
“He hasn’t wanted to be seen and cause problems for you and the girls if you don’t want him in town.”
Jessie had all she could do to keep her mouth shut. She been hoping for a glimpse of him, and here he was keeping out of sight.
Bri correctly read her thoughts and asked, “Did you think he would be around when you said to wait a week?”
“I said I didn’t want to talk to him for a week, but I thought we might at least spot each other.”
Bri nodded with understanding and then asked, “What were you hoping to see?”
“I don’t know. Just how he looks, how he seems.”
“Well, I certainly don’t have a comparison, but he’s a good-looking man, and he’s been very kind.”
“You’ve met him?” Jessie asked.
Bri blinked. “He’s living with us, Jessie. Rylan didn’t tell you?” “No, I guess it didn’t come up. I should have figured as much but didn’t.”
For a moment it was silent in Jessie’s living room. Bri watched her friend, well able to imagine what her heart was going through. “I’m praying for you,” Bri decided to tell her just then.
Jessie gave a small smile and didn’t comment. This was the one area where she and Bri ran out of things to say to each other. Or rather she ran out of things to say.
“I need to go while it’s still light out,” Bri said, and both women stood. They hugged, and Jessie thanked her friend for coming. At the storeroom door she watched Bri until she was out of sight, knowing she would be fine, and then returned to the apartment. She felt a need to be near her girls and slipped into the bedroom to sit for awhile. She
81was still sitting there in the dark when she felt tired enough to turn in and sleep. Readying for bed, she willed herself not to dream all night.
Just as Rylan said he would, he returned a week later. It was closing time just like before, and once again he waited for Jessie to send the girls upstairs.
“How are you doing?” Rylan asked as soon as they were alone. “Fine, I think. I’ve had lots of questions go through my mind.” “Seth has told me that he wants you to know that he’ll answer
any of your questions, but he said to warn you that it’s not a pretty
story.”
This had not occurred to Jessie. She thought for a moment before asking, “He’s not wanted by the law or anything like that, is he? I wouldn’t want the girls subjected to that.”
“I’ll let him tell you everything.”
Jessie nodded but then panicked and grabbed Rylan’s arm.
“Rylan, you love my girls-I know you do! Am I doing the right thing? Do you think Seth will hurt them like he hurt me? Will he win their hearts and then leave?”
Rylan looked into her desperate eyes and spoke from his heart. “I don’t think so, Jessie. We’ve spent most of the week together, and he’s not the same man who left here. I certainly can’t make you any promises, but I don’t think Seth Redding is that selfish man anymore. I could tell you why I feel that way, but I think that’s for him to do.
“And Jessie,” Rylan added to reassure her, “I’ll talk to him. I’ll make sure he understands that this has to be forever or not at all.”
Jessie nodded, relief washing over her. Her friend had understood, and for the moment, that was the most important thing to her.
“I’ll let you go,” Rylan said next. “Is there a time you want him to come?”
Jessie thought fast, the reality of actually seeing him still hitting her.
82”He should come tomorrow. The girls will be at the Rathmans’ all day. He and I could talk then.”
“I’ll tell him.”
Jessie nodded, but for a moment they both stood there. Not until Hannah’s voice floated down the stairs with a question for her mother did either move.
“Here, Rylan,” Jessie said, heading to the storeroom. “Go out the back here. It will be closer for you.”
Rylan followed her, glancing up the stairs as he went past them and waving to the girls when he found them sitting at the top.
“Will they have heard us?” Rylan asked at the door, his voice very low.
“No. The upstairs is funny in this building. Sound from down here is almost nonexistent, even on the stairway.”
Rylan nodded and stared at her. “Will you be all right?” “I think so. Thank you, Ry, for everything.”
Rylan nodded and said, “I want the best for the three of you. Seth
too.”
Jessie nodded and thanked Rylan again, her mind on so many different things, even knowing that most of them would have to wait. She had questions, dozens of them, but now was not the time. Rylan went on his way, and Jessie headed upstairs to her girls, glad she had slept dreamlessly the night before. She was sure to get little sleep tonight.
83
SETH HAD RUN OUT Ofthings to see along the creek bank. He didn’t want to go back to Rylan and Bri’s until Rylan arrived home, but waiting on this last day was turning out to be more than a little painful. Finding a grassy place to sit at the back of the church, he waited for Rylan to come, questions filling his mind. What if Jessie wouldn’t even see him? What if he wasn’t afforded even a glimpse of the girls?
For a moment, Seth’s mind fell back, back to the day he truly saw himself for the first time, the lostness and sinfulness of his heart. He’d been hearing about the cross and the saving blood of Christ, but until that day he hadn’t understood how much he needed that blood and the salvation it offered.
“Are you all right?”
Seth started. Rylan was just 15 feet in front of him, but he hadn’t seen or heard him approach.
“I think so,” Seth spoke truthfully and pushed to his feet. “How is Jessie?”
“She’s all right. Come on inside, and I’ll tell you what she said,” Rylan invited. Before the men could even start toward the house, Franklin Vick, the oldest of the Vick children, ran up.
84”Pastor Rylan,” he said, panting hard. “My dad needs you. He thinks Jeb Dorn broke his leg.”
“Is Jeb at home?”
“Yes, he’s in his shop.”
“Thanks, Franklin. Tell your dad I’ll be right along.”
Rylan went inside long enough to tell Bri where he was needed, and then he and Seth started that way. It was not what either man had expected the next few hours to look like, but questions concerning Seth and Jessie would have to wait.
The ankle bone was set. It was not a ser
ious break, but it was certainly going to put Jeb off his feet for some weeks. Jeb was Token Creek’s most successful furniture maker. He’d been working on a tall shelf that was a rush order, sanding it smooth for staining, when he’d stepped back and lost his balance. The leg had twisted in an odd way, and his ankle could not bear the weight. Jeb had shouted until an elderly neighbor heard him. The neighbor found Patience, and she had run to the Vicks’ house for help. Doctor Ertz had come and gone, and Chas Vick had also gone home.
Rylan and Seth helped a pale and panting Jeb into his bedroom. Patience trailed behind and was there when Jeb addressed Jessie’s husband.
“I’m surprised to see you, Seth.”
“I’ve been in town a week but keeping pretty quiet.”
“Have you seen Jessie?”
“No. She might see me soon. Rylan spoke with her for me. He hasn’t had a chance to tell me what she said.”
“She’ll see you,” Rylan said.
Seth nodded.
“It’s been a long time,” Jeb put in, no censure in his voice, but his eyes were naturally full of questions.
“Too long,” Seth agreed.
85”Are you here for a while, Seth?” Patience asked, her voice a little cautious.
“If Jessie will let me, yes.”
“When will you see her?”
Seth looked at Rylan.
“She said to come by tomorrow.”
Seth nodded, his heart slamming painfully in his chest. He felt afraid and off balance right now, and might have mentioned that to Rylan, but Jeb’s comfort was more important.
“Is there anything else we can do for you, Jeb?” Rylan asked. “No, but thank you, Ry.”
“I’ll check back tomorrow.”
The Dorns thanked their pastor and friend before Patience saw them to the door. It was growing dark out, and Rylan felt as if he hadn’t seen Bri all day. Nevertheless, he didn’t rush the walk home, but laid things out in plain terms for Seth. Jessie was willing to let him into the lives of her girls, but only if he was there to stay.
Seth listened quietly, working to take it all in. When they arrived at the house, he only visited with his hosts for a few minutes before excusing himself and heading to the room Bri had offered him. He sat on the bed for the next two hours and prayed and thought about the day. It made perfect sense to him that Jessie would not want him involved with the girls if he was only going to disappear again. What she didn’t know, and would have to find out in time, was that Seth had no intentions of leaving. His wife and girls were in Token Creek, and if only he was given the chance, he would never be separated from them again.
Jessie thought about Seth from the moment she woke up on Saturday morning, but no one looking at her would have known. She went through her morning routine with the girls, breakfast and cleanup, before heading down to the store. There were a few things she had not
86done the night before, and she got to them now. The girls were excited about their day with the Rathmans, and when she left them in the large apartment upstairs, they had been talking about the Rathmans’ house and cat.
What Jessie hadn’t banked on was Seth’s early arrival. She opened
the door, swinging it wide for the day, and found Seth in one of the
rocking chairs out front. He stood, hat in hand, and stared at her. “Hello, Jessie,” he said quietly, his eyes watchful.
“Hello,” Jessie said, her voice a bit formal.
“Am I too early?” Seth asked, fearful of making a mistake. “No, but—
Whatever Jessie was going to say had to wait. Hannah appeared just then, calling her mother inside. Jessie went that way and Seth followed slowly.
“Clancy says we’re not staying all day.”
“Where is Clancy?” Jessie asked.
Hannah turned to yell for her sister, but Jessie stopped her with a hand to her arm.
“Do not shout,” her mother instructed. “Go and find her, and both of you come back.”
Hannah did as she was told. Jessie was aware that Seth had come in behind her but didn’t try to engage him. She figured she would get the girls out the door and then deal with this man who wanted back into their lives.
“Hello,” Clancy said, having come down ahead of her sister and spotted the tall man inside the door. She approached him, completely forgetting that her mother had wanted to see her. Hannah was just behind her and followed.
“Hello,” Seth said, smiling down at the two little girls. He hadn’t planned to do anything without Jessie’s permission, but they were so beautiful and small that his heart took over.
87”Who are you?”
“Clancy” her mother said, using a voice she knew well. “Come here. You too, Hannah.”
The girls obeyed without question, and Seth retreated a bit, forcing himself not to stare.
“You are going to the Rathmans’ all day. You will not fight with each other or either of the Rathman girls, and you will do everything Mrs. Rathman asks of you. Do I make myself clear?”
The girls nodded.
“Go on now. Have fun.”
The girls kissed and hugged her and shot out the front door without giving Seth another glance. Not until Jessie had walked out front to see them go down the street did she step back inside and face her husband.
“They’re beautiful, Jessie. You’ve done an amazing job.”
“Thank you,” she said, relaxing just slightly. “I didn’t want to introduce you until we’d talked.”
“I understand.”
“But we can’t talk now,” Jessie went on. “Saturday is my busiest day.”
“Of course it is. I’m sorry.”
His humility took her by surprise and for a moment Jessie didn’t know what to say.
“Is there anything I can do?” Seth offered into the quiet.
“No,” Jessie didn’t even hesitate. “If I get too busy, I’ll ask Jeb to help me.”
“He broke his ankle.”
Jessie’s mouth opened a little before saying, “When was this?” “Last night. I was with Rylan when someone came for his help.” “Is he going to be all right?”
“I think so, but he’ll be laid up for a time.”
Jessie was still processing the idea when a woman came in with her son. She wasted no time in telling Jessie what she wanted, and it was obvious she expected it on the spot. Seth watched Jessie in patient
88action, debating his next move, when someone else entered and went right to the front counter.
Not sure if he was making a huge mistake or not, Seth stepped behind the counter and offered his assistance. The man was looking only for his mail, and Seth found it for him. He didn’t plan to hang around, but before he could tell Jessie he was leaving, two more folks entered. Still wondering if he was doing the right thing, Seth assisted them as well, amazed at how familiar it all was and how much he remembered.Bythe time he and Jessie had the store to themselves again, three hours had passed.
“How have you remembered so much?” Jessie asked when she found Seth down one aisle restacking the pots.
“I don’t know,” he said, coming to full height and looking down at her. “It just suddenly came back.”
Jessie nodded, and Seth knew he could wait no longer to tell her something.
“More than one person recognized me, Jessie. I didn’t think about it until it was too late. I don’t want my being here to make trouble for you.”
Jessie stared at him, weighing her options. She decided to say what she was thinking.
“There are no third chances here, Seth. If you hurt my girls, I’ll never let you get near them again.”
Seth nodded, not surprised by the strength of her words. Jessie was never a woman to be trifled with, and in truth he deserved far worse. “When the girls go to sleep tonight, we’ll talk.”
“What time will that be?”
“Come to the back door at eight. I want to know where you’ve been and why you didn’t comeback. After that, I’ll tell y
ou what this is going to look like. If you can agree with my terms, I’ll introduce you to the girls tomorrow. If not, you can leave on the next train.”
89Seth had time only to nod before they were interrupted. Jessie assisted a rancher who needed to order a machine part. Seth waited on a small boy who had a penny for candy, able to do so with a hopeful heart. Jessie hadn’t kicked him out, and at the moment that was all he cared about.
“You , stayed all day and worked at the store?” Rylan confirmed during supper, sure he’d heard wrong.
Seth shrugged. “The store got busy, and it just worked out that way.”
“Did you actually remember things?” Bri asked.
“Almost everything,” Seth said, still rather amazed.
“And the girls? Did you see them?”
“Not to meet them. I’m to go back tonight so we can talk.” “With Jessie or the girls?”
“Just Jessie. When she’s heard my story, she’ll tell me what she has in mind.”
“Does it seem promising, or are you working not to get your hopes up?” Rylan asked.
“I’m glad she didn’t see me to the door, but she spelled it out in plain terms that I’m on my last chance here. I don’t need more than one chance, but she couldn’t possibly know that.”
“Will you discuss the two of you or only your relationship to Hannah and Clancy?” Bri wanted to know.
“I would be very surprised if I was allowed to get near Jessie again. She’s done with me, but for some reason she’s letting me into the girls’ lives.”
“Do you hope to have Jessie as your wife again, Seth? I mean, really your wife?” Bri suddenly asked.
“I don’t know,” Seth said slowly, his face thoughtful. “By leaving and staying away so long, I killed her love for me. I’m sure of that. As for my own feelings, I’ve become so good at not thinking about her that
90
I would have said my own love was dead. Then I saw her today and it wasn’t quite that simple. She’s my wife, and I still feel a lot of things for her.”