Down in the Woods

by Gary Philpott

  “Sorry about that,” Anna started apologising as soon as she walked into the kitchen. “Let me make up for it by helping you tidy the house.”

  “There’s nothing to be sorry about.” Angie used a teaspoon to lift the tea-bag out of Anna’s mug and drop it into a stainless-steel pedal bin. “We slept in the vacant room we have upstairs at the moment. As it happens, Kevin’s been threatening to fuck me in there before he let it out again. So mission’s accomplished, as it were. To be honest, I was a little bit annoyed at first, more because I thought we would have to wake the pair of you.” She giggled loudly. “You were a sight, I can tell you.”

  “You looked in on us?”

  “We thought you had gone without saying goodbye. Here, drink that, it might put a bit of colour back in your face.” She handed Anna her tea.

  “I don’t usually behave like that.” Once the words were out of Anna’s mouth, she realised they could be interpreted as a back-handed insult. Angie had clearly behaved a lot worse.

  “You should behave badly more often,” laughed Angie. “Most of life is quite shit really. You have to have fun when you can get it. An alcohol fuelled fuck now and again is no bad thing.”

  “Maybe not.”

  “No maybe about it. I will show you the photos later.”

  “What photos?” Anna tried to sound calm.

  “Kevin took a few. Before we turned the light out and shut the door again. Not even the flash woke either one of you up. I guess Anton was knackered from working so hard and you were pissed.”

  “I was a bit drunk, yes,” said an anxious looking Anna. She took comfort in the fact that she remembered Anton pulling the curtains closed before he turned the lights on.

  “My fault, I should not have plied you with Harvey Wallbangers and cheap champagne. Still, it is the job of a hostess to make sure her guests enjoy themselves, and you two definitely did that.”

  “We did enjoy it, and to say thank you, I will help you tidy.” Anna was carefully avoiding asking questions about the photos, even though she was desperate for some answers. “Do you have headache pill?”

  “Of course, there’s a packet of paracetamol by the coffee percolator there. They’re double dose, so only take one. ”

  Anna popped a tablet out of the blister-pack and washed it down with a mouthful of extremely hot tea.

  “Have a seat.” Angie was already placing her coffee on the kitchen table and pulling out a chair for herself.

  Anna joined her. “Is Kevin annoyed with me?”

  “Huh, definitely not. He thought it was hysterical, that’s why he grabbed his camera.

  “What will he do with the photos?”

  “Have a wank to them when I’m out, if I know Kevin.”

  Anna had heard youths call each other wankers, but had never heard the word in that context before. She thought for a moment and started to understand why it was such a derogatory term.

  “I would prefer him not to.”

  “I can’t see the problem myself, you look good naked. Still,” she shrugged her shoulders. “If you are not happy, I’ll go and get his camera, I think he left it on the telephone table in the hallway. That‘s right, he gave Jasmine and Clive a quick look when they were on their way up to bed.”

  “Jasmine and Clive saw me naked?”

  “Not in the flesh, just the photos. Don’t look so worried Anna, we’ve all seen and done a lot worse.” Angie was already up out of her seat.

  “I am not used to this.”

  “You are a good looking girl. If you’ve got it, flaunt it.”

  “What is flaunt?”

  “Show it off. If you’ve got it, show it off,” she shouted from the hallway. “You could make a living from that body of yours.”

  Angie returned seconds later, dangling the camera in Anna’s direction from a wrist-strap. “Have a look at your photos and then delete them.”

  Anna took the camera and looked at it dubiously. After managing to spot the power button, she turned it on. All she saw on the screen was an image of whatever the camera was pointing at.

  “How do I see the photos?”

  “Ah, you don’t have a digital camera, do you?”

  “No.”

  “Give us it here; I’ll get them up for you.”

  Anna passed the camera across the table. When she got it back, she was met with the image of her lying naked on her side. One breast was visible, and there was a glimpse of pubic hair, but that was all. Anton was lying with his head at the bottom of the bed, his hand gripping her ankle. It was not as bad as she feared.

  “Push the right arrow to toggle through them.” Angie sipped her coffee with a mischievous glint in her eye.

  As each photo in succession came up on the screen, the angle changed until a view of her backside and pussy appeared. After that, it was one close-up after another. They became more and more pornographic. Anna’s face turned white.

  “Stop fretting. Press the button marked menu and then select delete-all.”

  Anna concentrated hard on navigating around the menu. After a couple of mistakes, she selected delete-all. There was another hesitation while she worked out how to confirm the action. ‘All images deleted‘, declared the screen. A very relieved Anna laid the camera down on the table.

  Angie picked the camera up and turned it off. “Kevin will be disappointed.”

  “I do not mind that he has seen me naked. Having photos is not good though.”

  “Chill-out Anna. He wouldn’t have put them on the internet.”

  “I am okay now.” She rose from her chair, keen to do something to take her mind off the photos. “I will start in the sitting-room.”

  “No you won’t. Drunken sleep is not refreshing sleep. You need to go home and get some beauty sleep in preparation for when Anton gets home. He will have been thinking about last night all afternoon and all evening come to that. He will be gagging for it by the time he gets in.”

  “Love is more important than sex.”

  “It is, but without sex, the love soon fades.”

  “I do not agree. Anton and I did not have sex for many months while we were apart. It made our love stronger.”

  “It probably made his right hand stronger as well. Now, less of the philosophy, there is no disputing the fact that you look fit to drop. You get yourself home, and the four of us will sort this place out later.”

  “The four of you?”

  “Kevin was awake when I came down. Jasmine always has her alarm set for twelve-thirty. And Clive knows he will not be allowed to set foot over the threshold again if he doesn’t muck in. We’ll have this place ship-shape before you are snoring into your pillow.”

  “You speak good English. I learn a lot from talking with you.”

  “My English is not good English, it is Kevin-English. But I know what side my bread is buttered. Talking of talking; why don’t I give you a call later in the week? Well, maybe as early as Tuesday?”

  “You can call, but I will not hear,” joked Anna.

  “Don’t tell me, you haven’t got a phone?”

  “Phones are expensive.”

  “Let me get you my old pay-as-you-go mobile.” Angie disappeared out of the kitchen door.

  Anna was almost at the front door when Angie re-appeared from the bedroom.

  “Here, have this.” She held out a blue mobile. “I have a new contract phone now, so I have no use for this anymore.”

  Anna took the phone and looked at it sceptically.

  “I know what you are thinking, but there must be at least sixty on that thing. That’s why I switched to a contract.”

  “Do you mean sixty pounds? I cannot take this from you.”

  “Look Anna, it has already sat in my drawer for five months, and it will stay there for another hundred if you don’t take it.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Of course I’m sure. I would like to meet up with you again. This way, I know I can contact you.”

  “Thank you.
I will try to pay you back. Do you know where my shoes are?”

  “Hang about.” Angie went back to the bedroom.

  While she waited, Anna looked up the staircase and wondered how many people lived up there. It seemed that Kevin and Angie lived downstairs while renting out the two upper floors. She estimated at least five rooms on each floor.

  “They must have got pushed under the bed. And here is some loose change for the bus.”

  “No, you have been too kind.”

  “Nonsense, I am not letting you walk all the way back to Crouch Hill.” She opened the front door. “The bus stop is on the high street. Go to the end of this road and turn left. Turn left again at the T-junction.”

  Reluctantly, Anna took the change and crouched to put her sling-backs on her feet.

  “Thank you for having us. And I am sorry about using your bed. We should not have…”

  “Nonsense,” Angie interrupted. “I offered you the use of it. All you did is fall asleep. Anyway, Kevin enjoyed the surprise.”

  Once again, Angie’s smile made Anna smile back. “I hope we meet soon.”

  “We will Anna, we will. Bye.”

  “Bye Angie. And thank you.”

  Angie closed the door as Anna stepped down onto the pavement. A cold wind was blowing, but she looked up and down the well-heeled street with positive thoughts running through her head. She had a mobile phone clutched in one hand, and more than enough money for the bus fare home in the other. London was a good place to live.

  Maybe Angie was right, thought Anna. Maybe Anton will be ‘gagging’ for it when he gets home. If that was the case, she would happily make love to him for as long as he lasted, and this time, they would do it in their own bed. She quickened her pace, hoping she would get the seat at the front on the top deck of the bus.

  Chapter 10

  After having a late morning breakfast with Anton, Anna kissed him goodbye and then got ready to go out. She was not going far, only up to the high street, but it was something she had been planning since Sunday afternoon.

  “Good morning madam,” said the sandy-haired young man, as she closed the door behind her. He then checked his watch. “Yes, it is still morning, just about.”

  “Good morning,” Anna nodded.

  “I thought you would come in eventually.”

  Anna gave him a puzzled look.

  “I don’t know how many times you have looked in the window. It must be at least twenty.”

  “Oh, I see.” Anna turned to take in the view from his perspective. From behind his counter, he could see everyone looking in the window, and also had a restricted view of those passing by on the pavement.

  “What is it you have your eye on?”

  She opened up her hand to show him the blue mobile phone. “I have a phone. My problem is that it does not have a battery. This is not correct. The phone has a battery, but it has no electricity.”

  “It’s an old model you have there, but we still stock chargers that fit them. In fact, I have a special offer on at the moment. You get the charger, a hands-free set and a case, all for twenty-nine ninety-nine.”

  “I do not have the money to buy.”

  “A charger on its own will be fifteen. I assume you haven’t got a case for it.”

  “No, I do not have a case.”

  “Well then, why not buy the package. To be honest, it’s old stock, so I could probably knock a fiver off for you.”

  “No thank you. I am hoping you will charge this for me.”

  “So you don’t want to buy anything?”

  “I need to buy food, not a charger.”

  “Sorry, darling, I don’t sell food.”

  Every instinct in her body was telling Anna to turn and walk out, just as she had anticipated it would. She held her resolve and determination to see it through if she could. “Are you unable to give my phone electricity?”

  “A charger charges a phone. It does not give it electricity.”

  At least he still looks happy, thought Anna. “Can you charge this phone for me?”

  “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

  “Yes, I am serious. I need this phone to work.”

  “I must be going soft in my old age, leave it with me.” He held out his hand.

  Anna handed over the phone. “How long will it take?”

  “Come back at six, I’ll have it done by then.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” said the shop assistant, shaking his head.

  Before going home, Anna looked in to see if the charity shop had any other Harry Potter books. Having resisted the temptation to buy something else, she walked out of the door with the fifty-pence coin still in her hand.

  Felicity’s Blackberry rang at two o’clock on the dot. The screen told her it was an unknown caller.

  “Hello, who is this?”

  “Lady Wilkinson, this is Andrew, we were introduced on Saturday.”

  “Oh yes. Why are you phoning me? How did you get my number?”

  “It seems you had a little accident when you left.”

  “An accident, what do you mean?” Only then did Felicity recall catching the Audi with her bumper.

  “You scraped my car.”

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake, surely you are not seeking compensation for that. How much do you want?”

  “The money is not an issue.”

  “Well why go to all the trouble of finding out my number then. How did you get this number?”

  “I telephoned Katherine. She gave me your number.”

  “And how did you know I was responsible?”

  “I watched you do it. I waved you goodbye as you sped round the drive. I guess you didn’t see me?”

  “Well no, I was concentrating on my driving.”

  “I was wondering if you would like to meet for lunch, to say sorry.”

  “You want me to buy you lunch, to say sorry?”

  “I will pay for lunch, and I will say sorry for parking my car in such a silly place.” He laughed audibly.

  The cogs whirred inside Felicity’s head. Daniel was going away on business on Wednesday. Added to that, she had definitely resolved not to contact, or go anywhere near, Phillip.

  After a long silence, she said: “I could be at the Lakeside Retreat, Thursday lunchtime.”

  “The Lakeside Retreat?”

  “Do you know it?”

  “No, but I will be there. How does one-thirty suit you?”

  “It suits me very nicely. The bar has wonderful views, I will meet you there.”

  “It’s a date,” he said excitedly. The phone went dead.

  “No, it’s not a date, Andrew. It is a recognisance mission,” Felicity spoke aloud.

  “Who’s that you are talking to?” shouted Daniel’s mother.

  Felicity looked over to the door that was ajar. “Just Rosemary, I think all the trouble with her father is making her feel a bit isolated. I have said I will meet her for lunch on Thursday.”

  “Is that wise?” Daniel’s mother stepped inside the door.

  “I don’t see a problem. I have no other engagements for Thursday.”

  “You spend too much time with her as it is. If you start going to lunch with her, you might catch something.”

  “She’s a lesbian, not a leper,” chortled Felicity.

  “It can rub off, you know. You be careful.”

  Felicity smiled and listened to her mother-in-law making her way down the stairs.

  Just how fit was Andrew? she asked herself. Not to worry, you can assess him again in a few days time. Felicity opened her diary and wrote: ‘Lunch with Rosemary’ on Thursday’s page.

  Just before six o’clock, Anna walked into the mobile phone shop.

  “Hello there, good to see you again.”

  “Good evening.”

  “It’s done.” The shop assistant turned to pick up Anna’s phone. “It was fully charged by four, as it happens.”

  “I have fifty pence, is t
his enough?”

  “No, I don’t want your money. It’s on the house, my pleasure.”

  “Thank you.” Anna took the phone out of the young man’s hand.

  “Listen, I finish here in thirty minutes. I usually pop into Derek’s Café on the way home. Can I buy you a bite to eat?”

  “I have a boyfriend. We are happy together.”

  “I am sure you do. And I am sure you are. I’m not hitting on you.”

  Anna looked sceptical, but she did not turn away.

  “Besides, you’re a bit old for me,” he grinned.

  “I am not that old.” She smiled to make it clear she was not insulted.

  “It’s just that you seem a nice woman, and you also don’t seem to have much money. And I like to talk to people from other countries. You’re from over Russia way, aren’t you?”

  “Latvia.”

  “Ah, well, that explains the good looks.”

  “I must go. I have much work to do. It has been nice meeting you.”

  “It’s been nice meeting you too, girl.” He shuffled on his feet. “I’ll ask around for you.”

  “I am here. You do not need to ask around for me.”

  “Hah, I see where you are coming from. No, what I meant was; I am sure one of my mates will have an old charger that fits your phone. I will ask around and try to get one for you.”

  A look of optimism crossed Anna’s face. “Thank you. This would be good.”

  “You should smile more often. You look stunning when you smile.”

  “Now you are hitting on me.”

  “Well, maybe, just a little. Why don’t you pop into the shop in a couple of days’ time and see if I’ve come up with anything?”

  “A couple of days, this is two days, yes?”

  “That is two days, yes. Your boyfriend and you are a couple, you are two people. Does that make sense?”

  “Yes it does. I must go.”

  “I will see you in a couple of days then?”

  “Yes, a couple of days. And thank you, this is very good.”

  Anna spent over two hours sitting on the bed, playing with the phone. She changed the ringtone five times and worked her way through Angie’s phonebook. The sheer number of people in her contacts list amazed her. She deleted each, one-by-one. The only two she did not delete were Kevin and Jasmine. She knew who they were and hoped that one day she could regard them as friends and therefore would need to have their numbers.