How to Be Kinkier: More Adventures in Adult Playtime

by Morpheous

  From cell phones to silk scarves to emery boards and leather belts, pervertibles are being used by more and more people for a number of reasons. Some people simply don’t have room in their homes to keep a St. Andrew’s cross or a spanking bench, let alone a fully stocked dungeon. They’re convenient when you’re traveling: no major city lacks a dollar, hardware or grocery store. One place that pervertibles make a difference between a good and a great time is in role-play. The mechanic who decides to take his payment in sex because you can’t afford the cost of that new transmission and begins to tie you up with his high-quality hemp bondage rope won’t be as believable as the one who uses a spare set of jumper cables, will he? A kidnapping scene where your abductors come with padded leather restraints won’t be as thrilling as the abductors who roughly bind your hands with duct tape and use a pillowcase as a hood. Pervertibles help set the mood and keep the scene authentic to your fantasy.

  —Dan, the twisted teddy bear

  Here are some of my favorite toys—some improvised pervertibles and some readymade:

  A blindfold and raspy voice can reap major benefits.

  Balloon Anal Beads

  Balloon fetishists are going to love this one! Take a clown balloon and blow it up and make a knot. These types of balloons are more rugged than your regular balloons, but you still need to be careful of any sharp objects. If you build the beads according to the instructions, you will find that they are very rugged and if one layer pops, the rest will remain intact—but let’s not go digging around in there with a BBQ skewer, shall we? What I love most about balloon anal beads is their disposability. With twenty to thirty minutes before a playdate you can customize the anal beads to the size you want for your partner and when you are done you can toss them in your garbage. All it takes is creativity and some dexterous fingers.

  Evil Sticks

  Evil Sticks are small graphite rods that cause a stinging sensation on the skin. Hit the skin hard enough and you will raise a welt. What I love about Evil Sticks is the shapes that they have at their ends. The heart shape is particularly delicious for when you want to show your lover how much you care about his or her bottom or back. Because the striking is so concentrated and will cause a rush of blood just under the surface of the skin, I like to use these on the fleshier parts of the body—the bum, the back and the thighs—when I want to mark someone up intensely but yet know that the marks will fade by the end of the evening.

  Better Living with Electricity

  Obviously, you should be careful when using electricity for kinky sex. You should find proper, personal instruction before attempting to use these toys. They are deliciously evil and also deliciously pleasurable in the hands of a person who is trained properly. They aren’t complicated, but you do need to find someone who can train you in a hands-on environment before escalating willy-nilly to “I’m gonna zap you good!” with your partner. There are some wonderful resources and classes given by experts that will show you how to do this safely and creatively and I highly encourage you to access them. A good general rule of thumb is that we are not going to use electrical toys above the waist, over the heart or on the head (with the exception of the Violet wand—more on that in a moment). Keep it below the belt, which is where the good bits are anyway. Electrical toys can scare the shit out of the bottom when experienced for the first time and we all love a good mind fuck don’t we? But truthfully, it’s best when dealing with a newbie to let them play with the controls on their own at first, so they can experience firsthand what the sensations are and how strong they can be. Think of it as a warm-up for a dance rather than taking away from your playtime. You can make it fun, light and enjoyable by explaining what each part is, what it does, and how to control it. I find that after a little playing with the dial before the scene, and by your keeping the mood light and playful and letting them feel like they are in charge (at first), they will be dripping honey-holes by the time you are ready to begin. So what happens if they don’t like it? Easy: now you know that they aren’t into it and you can take your scene in a different direction. It is better to gauge their reaction before you get them all tied up in one hundred feet of rope and swinging from your ceiling. And if they say no and mean no (i.e., they use their safeword) then respect it; after all, they are the ones that were going to take that big steel plug inside them and have electrical current passed through it, not you. Don’t be disappointed; smile and say, “Okay, I understand,” and then keep the momentum going in a different direction and don’t tease them about it. Let the submissives’ curiosity bring them back to it on their own. Slow is easy and there’s the potential for a serious mishap if you rush into things.

  Facing Page: Even the modest balloon can be perverted for dozens of sexy uses.

  A trip to the hardware store with a kinky mind can be a lot of fun!

  Electrical toys are divided into two types: the ones based on current (TENS units) and the ones based on voltage (cattle prods and violet wands). I am going to talk about the differences between each and you can choose which one you want to explore for use in your own kinky life.

  What Nerve(s): TENS

  TENS (Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation) unit or insertable toys are electrical devices for which you can control the amount of electricity being emitted via a dial or slider that works on electrical muscle contraction—they’re used mostly for recovering from athletic injuries. You can purchase them off the shelf at the drugstore and they can really add a charge to your sex life! They need to be attached to the skin over the top of a muscle or the beginning and end of the muscle or else they won’t be particularly effective; just placing the sticky pads on the cock and balls won’t do much. If you have a basic sense of anatomy and the locations of muscle groups, you can turn these tools into wonderfully evil toys. Ask yourself, “What muscles do we have below the belt?” How about the anal sphincter and the pubis? The insertable plugs such as dildos and butt plugs come in a variety of sizes and shapes. When electrodes are hooked up to the points on the plug, it causes contractions in the pelvic muscle and sphincter. You can tune the box to set up a random sequence of charges so that the pretty little submissive bound tightly to your table never knows when it is coming. Or better yet, set it for a regular interval and tell her, “It is going to shock you every twenty-five seconds. Watch the clock on the wall so you know when it is coming!” Then sit back and watch your victim sweat and fret and squirm. A nice ball gag in her mouth will add to your excitement. Stay away from Tasers and stun guns; they will not only ruin the scene, but you might wind up on the evening news. As with all kinky play, YOU are ultimately accountable for what happens, so play safe with these toys.

  1 Water filled anal beads made from circus balloons are fun and easy! 2 Once the balloon is filled with water, start twisting each bead along the length of the balloon. 3 Make as many as you like, but make sure to hang onto each one so it doesn't unwind itself as you are making them. 4 Hang on to the ends. Momentarily you won’t have to, but for now, keep hold of each end. 5 Knot and snip the extra end off.

  6 Take a larger diameter balloon and blow it up. 7 Knot the end and now get ready to push. 8 You are pushing the water filled balloon into the larger one; keep a good hold of everything. 9 Here is the tricky part. Once you push it inside you have to twist the larger balloon around each bead. 10 Then push the next one in. 11 You are going to gently push all of them inside the larger balloon.

  12 It should look like this. 13 Then twist the top off to seal it. 14 This part might not make sense but once you have the top part twisted off, twist off the lower part down one bead. 15 Then pop the top one. 16 Now start to slide the beads up and out. 17 This puts an extra layer on the beads. 18 It should look like this.

  19 Trim off the excess. 20 Get another balloon, something with a pretty colour. 21 You are going to repeat the same steps from 7 – 17. 22 I like to choose different colours for each layer. 23 Everytime you put an extra layer on it, the stronger it will get. 24 One last laye
r here.

  25 You will find that the beads are starting to feel stronger and firmer now. 26 The nice thing is that since they are filled with water, they give when inserting them, making it more comfortable. 27 With a few balloons for under a dollar you can make a new set of anal beads each time you play and look how pretty they are!. 28 And tough! Even if one layer pops, they will seldom all pop at once.

  1 Evil Sticks are small graphite rods with a slapper end in different shapes. 2 You pull it back and let it go onto the skin with a sharp wack. 3 With this heart shaped stick, the flatter the head is when it hits the skin… 4 the more success you will have in creating a heart!

  The mushroom attachment on a violet wand.

  1 This TENS unit has 4 dials and two buttons to control the power and the channel. 2 There are different attachments you can use. This one is a electrified dildo. 3 Turn on the power to the level you desire and you can use a thin water based lube which will conduct electricity. 4 Once it is in you can control how strong the sensations are on the dildo by the depth of it inside your slave.

  5 When you are ready for more fun, flip them over and get their asshole lubed up! 6 The butt plug attachment will have two metal strips down each side for conducting electricity. 7 Just like the vibrator attachment, you can fuck them in and out and the sensations are adjustable this way as well as on the box. Enjoy!

  Get Along Little Doggie: Cattle Prods

  These are handheld devices from farm stores that typically run on C or D-size batteries. They deliver a three-volt (the average) shock via two prongs upon contact with someone’s bum. Depending on how fresh the batteries are, the sensation ranges from, “Oh, that has a bit of a zap doesn’t it?” to “Motherfucker, Morph, that fucking thing feels like it is biting me!” I don’t use cattle prods above the waist; I prefer to zap the large fleshy part of the bum and legs. Keep in mind these are tools that are used to coerce large farm animals: use sparingly and with caution. They provide a really great punishment or make a good prop for threatening a slave, especially if he or she is down. Don’t confuse a cattle prod with a Taser or stun gun—it is a different device entirely. If you live where there are agriculture stores, cattle prods are easy to find, relatively cheap and fun!

  Lexan cutting boards make great paddles.

  When You Wish Upon a Star: Violet Wand

  On the other end of the spectrum, the violet wand is safe to use above the waist since the electricity doesn’t penetrate down into the muscle; it’s all surface fun. When activated it forms a pretty purple arc from the glass attachment that will bridge to the skin, causing the recipient to jump! When you use it, keep it below the neck and away from the eyes. With older models that are sometimes sold at fetish events, avoid letting the device heat up too much, which can happen if you leave it running continuously for more than ten minutes. This isn’t a problem with the newer models.

  Once you know what they look like, you will start noticing violet wands at antique markets. There are some beautiful vintage ones that can be bought for a very affordable price. The nice thing about violet wands is that you can tune the intensity from a light tickle when on low to a very intense sensation when turned up high. Once I had a submissive who really loved cutting and knife play, however she couldn’t go back home with marks after our dates–that was her boundary with our play. When I was still cutting my teeth back in the day and was new to violet wands, I was playing with her in a great, gritty little fetish club in a basement of a bar (the best clubs always seem to be underground, don’t they?) and I figured out that we could simulate the sensation of cutting by using both the violet wand’s glass in one hand and then running a steel Whartenburg wheel across her with my other. The tiny points on the wheel allowed the electricity to flow directly through my body from the wand to the mean, tiny points on the wheel. This felt like a knife on her body, one with which she was being sliced open. Afterward she would happily go home without any marks on her skin and it was the best of both worlds! Some other fun things you can do with the violet wand are zapping your play partners on their genital piercings—some will conduct better than others—as well as varying the speed at which you drag the wand across the body. Using it in a room with the lights dimmed makes it so much cooler to look at while it is happening too.

  Facing Page: A cattle prod isn't just to thrill cows.

  The wand can make anywhere on your body feel magical!

  The juice from fresh ginger can be used to add excitement to someone’s genitals.

  Not So Nice: Figging

  Ginger just isn’t for cooking anymore. Discover what the Victorians knew: its effective merriment will put some heat in your slave’s seat! Essentially figging is taking a ginger root, carving it into a butt plug shape and sticking it in your partner’s bum. Ginger will produce an intense and long-lasting sensation from the juices reacting to the delicate tissues of the anus. This is a type of heavier interaction for people who really like intense ass play or those who are very adventurous. Be forewarned that the oils that cause the burning sensation need to be processed by the body; even after you take the ginger out; you can’t wash it away. If you want to start slowly, you can try a water-soluble heat like wasabi powder, which can be washed off with water if the sensation becomes too intense, and then slowly work up to ginger.

  The Whartenburg wheel comes with points to roll along the skin.

  1 Figging is a fun way to spice up your submissive's anal play. 2 Get some fresh ginger from the market and break off a large finger. 3 Remove the outer skin. 4 Shape it into a butt plug. 5 Make sure it is large enough to be fun. 6 It should always have a large enough base so that you don’t have a fishing trip story to tell later on!

  7 Making the submissive watch while you shape it is a great way to make them nervous. Have them climb up on the counter… 8 and bend over. 9 Use a lot of spit or water to lubricate their butthole, as lube will dull the sensations. 10 In we go! Keep it in there as long as they can stand it.

  Use lotion on the skin before using liquid latex.

  Start by cutting off a decent-sized finger from the “hand” of ginger and whittle it down into a butt plug shape. It should be three inches long with a flared base and a retention ring (see photos). The flared base is important for anything that goes in the ass so we don’t lose it inside the rectum. Lay them out, restrain them and get their ass ready for a volcanic violation. Here is an interesting point—lube will dull the sensations, so if you have a newbie, you may want to keep that in mind and use some lube to tone it down a bit. To increase the sensations, don’t use any lube, just some spit and water. Be very, very gentle and slow working it into the bum. Not using lube will make things more sensitive. The juices of the ginger will help lubricate it for sliding in and soon it should be socketted snuggly in their ass. The burning sensation will ramp up and become intense. If your bottom is new to figging, you can remove it and let her catch her breath. Make it as intense or mild as you like. While I haven’t heard of allergies to ginger, I can’t make broad sweeping generalizations for the general populace; it pays to know all about the bum you are sticking the plug into, so ask. Figging appeals to a lot of people who also enjoy the sensation of menthol on their privates; for some it is a big turn-on, for others it is a way to spice up their sex life a bit. If you are feeling sadistic, spanking or caning an ass that has ginger in it will make the sensations more intense and they won’t be able to clench their cheeks together to withstand the blows. It is deliciously evil. And not only is ginger available at any grocer’s, the fact that you can whip up a nice ginger stir fry after a figging session and serve it to the submissive whose bum you have just violated makes it top notch in my little black book of evil tricks.

  A Laughing Matter: Tickling

  I am including tickling here in the toys section because it is a wonderful overall use of toys, and if you get caught at a fetish party without your toy bag, you can use your fingers or some simple props like a feather or long piece of faux fur. Also pervertib
les such as a comb or ballpoint pen can easily be turned into a delicious, devilish device! The object is secondary to the use of it, and I highly encourage you to explore alternatives. Tickling can bring up a host of different reactions. Explaining why people are enthralled by this fetish is pretty uncomplicated—D/s, helplessness, forced reactions, humiliation; the fact that no matter how stubborn a slave may be, nobody can evade the talented fingers of an experienced tickler. There can be a lot of laughter with tickling even as you are driving them to the edge: we call it play for a reason!

  Tickling your submissive while suspended is extra special torment.

  Mounting rings to the underside of a bed frame can provide handy and hidden tie-down points.

  There are so many ways to tickle torture submissives and just as many spots on their bodies to access, all while keeping them helpless. Here are some of my secrets for making a tickling scene fun, playful and torturous. The best method is to tie your victim into position so that you can get at the sweet spots. There is the classic spread-eagle position with them on their back; the “inverse Y” where their legs are tied apart with their arms tied straight above their head; the hog-tie; and them on their back with their legs tied up in the air with their wedding tackle exposed. The position can have a significant impact on their ticklishness, and it can vary from day to day or scene to scene. What worked 100 percent one day may not be as effective the next time you play. All the more reason to keep a tickling scene fresh and interesting with different positions and items to tickle them with! When bottoms are unable to see or anticipate the tickling attack, they usually scream and beg frantically. It is a great way to mind-fuck them. For myself, I love to aim at the area along the high sides of their ribs, right beside their nipples. Trailing a feather languidly and slowly, inch by delicious inch; seeing their tummy flex and squirm, their arms tugging at their bonds, their breathing coming in shallow pants; watching their squirming to shift mere inches to avoid your efforts but they simply cannot get away from it: that is a spot so sensitive and sweet you would have to be Mrs. Butterworth to be sweeter. I have found the following sweet spots to be the best: