The Many Lives of June Crandall

by Suzanne Whitfield Vince

  "Wait, wait, wait. My grandfather? Not my father?"

  "No, your grandfather. He was afraid of what Edward would do when he learned you were pregnant."

  June sat motionless on the sofa as the room spun around her. "I see," she said after a long pause. "And the agreement was that you would never contact me again?""

  "No, there was no such agreement."

  She pulled her hand away and looked up sharply. "Oh, I see, that was just your own doing then?"

  Will ran a hand through his thick dark hair and let out a heavy sigh. "June, I wrote to you, almost every day for a year. Your father must have intercepted my letters. I should've known. I should have tried to see you. I should''ve done more. I'm so sorry that you thought I abandoned you, but I've never stopped loving you, or our daughter."

  June's mouth gaped open. "You...wrote to me? Every day?" The wound she thought had long since healed broke open and she cried like a child now. Like the child she'd been when she lost the boy she loved and the daughter they had created together. "Why did you give up? Why didn't you ever try to find us?"

  Will gripped her shoulders in his strong hands and looked at her through his own tears. "I got a letter from Benjamin after Grace was born. He told me our daughter died, that you were moving on with your life and I should, too." A sob escaped his throat. ""Oh, God, I should've come to you anyway, to hear it from you."

  So they were both victims of two men who had conspired to keep them apart. Men she had loved, who she thought loved her. But both of them had done what was best for them, no matter how much it hurt her.

  He pulled her into his arms and held her while they both cried. They cried for twenty-eight lost years. They cried for the child who had grown up without them and had suffered the unimaginable. They cried for the family they should have been. And when their tears subsided, he pulled back and looked deeply into her eyes. "I've never stopped loving you, June." He pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

  She kissed him back, with all the longing she'd held inside for almost three decades. It was a longing that could not be fulfilled by anyone but him. He was part of her, had always been, and would always be.

  When they parted, he grinned. "Our daughter is going to be very proud of herself, you know."

  June laughed, a knowing, healing, conspiring laugh. "I know, and speaking of our daughter, where is she? She told me she'd be right back. It's almost eight o''clock."

  Just then, Will's cell phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his pocket. Shaking his head, he chuckled. "She texted me, said to meet her at the restaurant, that you know where it is, and can you please bring her purse? She ran out without it.""

  They both laughed. He wiped her tears with a tissue, kissed her once more and said, "What do you say we continue this conversation later?"

  He stood up and held his hand out to help her up, just as he'd done years before when he walked her back to the house from their spot under the old oak tree.

  June and Will acted casual as they walked into the restaurant together. June handed Grace her purse and said, "How were you planning to buy that little something at the store, my dear?"

  Grace grinned. "So...are you mad? Dad told me you don't like surprises."

  June looked at Will, then back at Grace. "Well, this one was a good surprise, but it would have been nice if you had warned me, young lady. Now, do you have any other surprises up your sleeve, or are we finished now?"

  "No, that's it. So, are you two back together?"

  "Grace!" Antonio said.

  Grace ignored him. "Well?"

  Will looked at June and covered her hand with his. "Well, we'll just have to see how things go." He winked at June.

  Grace gave her husband a super-sized smile.

  Antonio shook his head and laughed at his wife.

  They ordered champagne and toasted Grace's birthday, and more importantly, their first birthday together as a family. They brought out the cake June had requested, and then she reached into her purse and pulled out a stack of princess hats. Like good sports, they all donned the hats and sang "Happy Birthday" to the guest of honor.

  They had a wonderful evening together. June gave her a tiny silver bracelet that matched the one she wore, and explained that Benjamin had given the set to her when she learned she was pregnant. It had been her first baby gift. "You can give it to your first child."

  Her father gave her a diamond necklace with three diamonds connected together, one representing each of the three of them. It was beautiful, and she slipped it around her neck right away. Antonio told her that her gift was at home. He'd bought her a painting she'd loved in Niagara, and had called the gallery and had it shipped to him at work.

  The following night they celebrated her birthday again at Antonio's family's home. Valerie and Matt--just back from their honeymoon----had come, and everyone was excited to meet Grace's parents. It had been three wonderful, exhausting days of celebration, and Grace sank into her husband's arms in the taxi on the way home and fell fast asleep. He carried her upstairs and put her to bed, setting the alarm for her so she wouldn't miss her breakfast date with her father.

  The next morning, Grace walked to her father's hotel. It was a perfect spring day in New York City, and she felt a sense of joy and completeness that she'd never known was possible as she strolled into the lobby of the hotel and pressed the button for the elevator. When the door opened, she stepped in without looking, and was nearly knocked over by the woman trying to get out. She looked up at the woman to offer an apology and saw her mother.

  "Mom! What are you doing here?"

  June stared at her, groping for an answer.

  But there was only one answer. Grace grinned.

  "You spent the night with Dad, didn't you?"

  "That's none of your business, young lady. Now go. Your father is waiting for you."

  Grace kissed her mother and jumped into the elevator, smiling from head to toe as the door closed.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Will flew back to visit June and Grace several more times over the summer. He and June fell more in love than ever. By the end of summer, he'd made the decision to move to New York. He was beginning to wind things down at work, and had put his house on the market. He hated leaving his parents behind and had offered to bring them with him, but they wanted to stay in Texas. His sister, Maria, lived nearby and kept an eye on them. He told them he would have a room in his new place for them, and that they could visit any time.

  He had flown June and Grace out a few times over the summer, too, and it was like it should have been all along--one big, happy family. Eventually they forgave the past and focused only on the future. When Will visited New York, he looked for a place to live and met with physicians from private practices who were looking to add a partner. He wanted to spend as much time with his family as he could, so he decided to go into private practice rather than work directly for a hospital.

  In October, he found the perfect apartment on the Upper West Side. It was spacious, with three bedrooms and a great view of Central Park. He'd already sold his place in Texas, so it was a quick escrow and he moved in the first week of November.

  The girls helped him furnish and decorate the place, and by Thanksgiving it had that lived-in look about it. He spent his first official holiday as a New Yorker with June, Grace and Antonio, and Antonio's family. He'd always had a good life, but now, he decided, it was perfect.

  Grace knew that life for her mother was not quite perfect. She'd been waiting--they'd all been waiting--for Edward to call and offer an apology, an explanation, some kind of acknowledgement of what he'd done. But the phone remained silent. And June remained steadfast in her refusal to forgive him until he showed that he regretted what he'd done.

  Finally, Grace decided the situation had gone on long enough.

  Her hands trembled as she picked up the phone and dialed the number. She wasn't sure exactly what she was going to say, or how things would turn out, but she wanted to do thi
s. She wanted to give her mother one final gift. And Christmastime was the perfect time for it.

  The phone was answered on the third ring and Grace was surprised to hear Edward's voice. She'd assumed Bernie would answer, and it took her a moment to compose herself.

  "Hello!" he barked into the phone, too quickly after the first time.

  "Yes, hello, Edward?"

  "Yes, who is this?"

  "This is Grace Adams, your...granddaughter."

  Silence greeted her on the other end. At first she thought he'd hung up on her, but then she heard his rapid breathing on the other end.

  "Is my daughter all right?" he asked after a long silence. "Did she ask you to call?"

  His voice sounded hopeful, and she suddenly hated what she was doing. But it needed to be done. "Yes, my mother is fine. She has no idea I'm calling. Edward, I was wondering if I could see you."

  Another long silence ensued. "I...yes...I suppose that would be alright."

  "Can I come tonight?" she asked before she lost her courage. She'd planned on having dinner at her father's that night, but she didn't want to miss this opportunity.

  "Yes, tonight will be fine."

  She hung up the phone after they agreed on a time and then called her father to cancel dinner.

  Grace arrived at Edward's promptly at seven o'clock that night. As Bernie pulled the doors of the oak-paneled library closed behind her, Grace felt light-headed.

  This was the man who had very nearly destroyed three innocent lives, including his own daughter's. Edward sat in an oversized chair, a log flickering in the fireplace before him.

  "Hello, Grandfather," she said.

  His head jerked around at the sound of her voice.

  She took a step toward him. "I'm sorry if I startled you."

  Edward pointed to the chair opposite him, and Grace sat down. Their eyes met for a brief moment before Edward's gaze shifted downward. Then something she hadn't expected happened. He covered his face with his hands and cried. Really cried----his entire body wracking with sobs. Grace sat, unmoving and speechless.

  She let the old man cry for a few moments. "Grandfather, are you all right? Your heart..."

  Finally, he let his hands down and looked up at her. "My heart is fine, dear," he said, his voice ragged from the crying. "Thank you for your concern.""

  Grace nodded, unsure of where to go from there.

  Edward took another minute to compose himself, and then cleared his throat. "That night your mother came to see me," he said, still not looking her in the eye, "everything she said was true. God help me, it was all true."

  Edward wept again but managed to get the words out. "I wanted to tell her the truth for years, but I was too much of a coward. I regretted what I did every day since you were born."

  He shifted in his seat and continued. "I even tried to undo it. I went back to St. Joseph's and told them I changed my mind, but it was too late. The only way I could undo it was to incriminate myself, and that would've taken me away from June, just when she needed me so much. At least...that's what I told myself."

  He continued, his voice unsteady. "I convinced myself that she would get over it. In time, she'd get over it, and some day she would marry and have more children, and everything would be okay.

  "But that light that used to be in her was gone after she lost you. It left when her mother died, and it didn't come back until she met that boy. God help me, I was jealous of how much she loved him. She used to look at me as if I was the only man in the world for her, and I was determined to get her to look at me that way again."

  Grace watched her grandfather, so small and frail, and she felt sorry for him. What he'd done was wrong, but she couldn't honestly say he was evil. Just...weak. She knew without a doubt that she'd gotten her strength--her will to survive--from her mother, but her mother must have gotten it from someone besides him.

  He reached for his water glass with a trembling hand and took a sip. "I tried to be a good father to her after her mother died, but I think a piece of me died with her. Your mother needed more than I was able to give, and I think she sensed it.

  "I did what I did because I thought I would die if I lost her. She was the only thing that mattered to me, and I convinced myself that I could make everything better for her after...after I took you away from her."

  Edward buried his face in his hands. "Oh, God, what have I done?" He looked up at the girl he'd given away like a piece of old furniture. ""I don't expect your forgiveness. I know that what I did was unforgivable, but I wanted you to know the truth."

  And there it was. The truth at last from the man responsible for separating her from her mother and father. His confession hung in the air like a dark cloud on a windless night.

  "Why haven't you called my mother?" she asked, breaking the intolerable silence. "She's been waiting for you to call, waiting for you to admit what you've done so that she could forgive you. That's all she needs to forgive you, you know. Just a simple phone call."

  He shook his head. "She's better off without me. She has you now. You and the boy she's always loved. She doesn't need me."

  "You're wrong."

  He shrugged. "Well, I haven't done a damned thing right since I lost my beloved Elena. Why start now?"

  Grace stood to leave. There was nothing more to be said. She'd gotten what she'd come here for--the truth. She was grateful for that, but saddened by how easily he''d given up.

  "Thank you for seeing me," she said before letting herself out.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  On Christmas morning, Grace flung open the door to her parents' bedroom and jumped on the bed. "Merry Christmas!" she yelled a few decibels too loud. "I decided that since I never got to do that as a kid, I had some catching up to do." She tugged at her dad's arm. ""Come on, let's go see if Santa came."

  "Okay, okay, give us a minute and we'll be right out," he said.

  "You better be, or I'll open all the presents myself!"

  Will and June put on their bathrobes and went to join the kids in the living room. Grace eagerly passed out the mound of presents that surrounded the enormous tree, placing two identically wrapped packages to the side.

  When all the gifts had been opened, Grace handed the first one to June. It was a large, round box tied together with lots of ribbon and a large bow on top.

  June pulled off the bow and separated the ribbon until she freed the box. She pulled the top off and when she saw the contents, her eyes welled. She pulled Sir Snuggles out of the box and lifted him into the air. Then she looked at her daughter.

  "Is this your Theodore Izzle?" she asked.

  Grace nodded.

  "He disappeared the day you were born and I never knew what happened to him."

  "Dad saw him when he came to the loft and recognized him. He told me that your mother had given him to you, and how much you loved him. That he was always there for you when you were sad or scared. He was for me, too. The nuns told me that he had belonged to my mother, and I remember telling Sister Maggie once that when I met my mother, I was going to thank her and tell her that I loved him a lot. So thank you, Mom, for sharing him with me. I believe that, in some strange way, he brought us together."

  June hugged Grace, the old bear wedged between them. "Thank you, sweetheart, but I think you should keep him."

  "I don't need him anymore, Mom. I have everything I need. I want you to have him. Please."

  June nodded gratefully and gave the silly old bear a hug.

  Grace then handed the other gift to Antonio. The package looked just like the one she'd given June and he looked at it curiously. He put it up to his ear and shook it.

  "Just open it."

  He untied the ribbon and removed the tissue paper. From the box he removed a stuffed bear that look like a brand new version of the bear his wife and June had shared.

  Antonio grinned. "Thanks, sweetheart, it's what I've always wanted."

  "I thought our baby might like to have a teddy bear of hi
s or her own."

  "Sure, someday when--wait, does this mean--"

  "Yes. We're pregnant."

  Antonio pulled her into his arms and her parents joined in for a group hug. She smiled at her husband, knowing how much he'd wanted this. She did, too. And now it was going to happen. Their family was almost complete.

  June excused herself for a moment and returned with a large black velvet box that she handed to Grace. "I'm sorry it's not wrapped.""

  Grace took the box and looked quizzically at her mother.

  "It's a Borgese family tradition, passed on from mother to daughter when the daughter has her first child." She waved her hand to Grace. ""Open it."

  Grace lifted the lid of the velvet box and a rush of air filled her lungs. "Oh, Mom, it's exquisite." She lifted the ruby and diamond necklace from the case and June clasped it around her neck. "I promise to take good care of it."

  After all the gifts had been opened and everyone had changed into their Christmas attire, they all sat in the living room enjoying the morning when the doorbell rang. Grace shot out of her seat, yelling at the others to stay put as she ran to answer the door.

  She took a deep breath and pulled it open. The old man, now walking with a cane, stood firmly in place, looking at her, unsure of what to say or do.

  She reached out a hand. "Please, come in, Grandfather."

  She hadn't seen him since the night he had revealed the truth. But in the weeks afterward, she realized that her life was so filled with love and joy that she wanted to share it. The thought of him sitting at home alone on Christmas broke her heart, and it was then that she realized she'd done it. She'd finally forgiven him.

  She'd called him the week before to invite him. He'd wept on the phone and thanked her for the invitation. He said that he and Bernie would be there with bells on. It sounded like something a Crandall would say.

  Edward placed his free hand in hers and stepped across the threshold. She placed her arms around his thin body and held him. Sobs wracked his body and he mumbled something she couldn't understand, but when he stood up and she looked into his eyes, she knew. He was sorry--desperately sorry.