Falling Dark

by Christine Pope

  Clearly, Silas was just as confused, because his brow wrinkled as he looked over at me. “I would think you’d want to go home.”

  Surely that was the sensible thing to do. I should go home, climb into my warmest jammies, and burrow into bed and forget this all happened. For some reason, though, I didn’t want to do that. Going home and hiding was the coward’s way of coping with all this. I’d spent the last three years hiding. Was I all right with doing that for the rest of my life?

  “I don’t want to go home,” I said, then paused again. What did I want? To figure out what I really thought about him. What I really felt about him. The longer we’d sat there, the more the creature he’d transformed into had begun to fade from my thoughts. This was Silas with me, here, now. He didn’t look any different from the man I’d become increasingly attracted to. When I’d asked him to take me to his loft, in the back of my mind I’d hoped I might spend the night here. Did I still want him?

  Only one way to find out.

  I looked him in the eyes and said, “I want you to kiss me, Silas.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  He started, then went very still. When he spoke, his voice was so quiet that I had to strain to hear his words. “Are you certain?”

  Of course I wasn’t. Less than half an hour earlier, I’d seen him transform into a demonic-looking creature with enormous bat wings. But the man I saw before me now, the man who gazed into my face with such trepidation — I had kissed him before. All I’d seen was another aspect of him. He was still Silas. I needed to believe that.

  “I will be in a minute,” I replied.

  Gingerly, as if he thought I was a soap bubble he might break, he reached out to touch my cheek. Just a feather of a caress, so light I almost could have imagined it, but even that brief touch was enough to make my breathing quicken, my heart begin to pound.

  Oh, yes, I wanted him.

  We both leaned in at the same time, mouths touching, then opening. He tasted of the wine we’d been drinking, nothing more. The scent of his skin was warm, human. His hair brushed against my face, and I shivered.

  “Are you still cold?” he whispered.

  I shook my head. “Not now.”

  That must have been enough reassurance, because then he was kissing me even more deeply, pressing me down onto the leather of the couch, the weight of his body on mine. It was my turn to tangle my hands in his hair, to press myself against him, feeling his warmth, the reassuring solidity of him. His hand slid up under my sweater, then pressed flat against my stomach. I loved the warmth of his fingers, but I didn’t want him to stop there. I shifted slightly, causing his hand to move upward, and then he was closing on my breast — but only for a second. He went still, and he murmured again, “Are you sure, Serena?”

  “Yes, Silas,” I replied. “I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

  He needed no more reassurance after that — obviously, because he grasped my sweater and pulled it up and over my head, then undid the front clasp of my bra. It slid away, revealing me to him.

  Scars and all. They’d had to remove my spleen after the accident, and although I was fair-skinned enough that I didn’t scar too badly, the T-shaped incision lines on my stomach would be there until the day I died.

  I looked up into his face, into those dark, depthless eyes. “I wish I could be perfect for you.”

  “You are perfect, my splendid, brave Serena,” he said. “Wear your scars as medals, because they prove that you survived a great battle.”

  And then his mouth closed on my breast, suckling, and I gasped and closed my eyes. It had been so long, too long — and yet I was fiercely glad I hadn’t been with anyone since Travis, hadn’t thrown myself away on casual hook-ups to fill the emptiness of my days. Now I could give myself to Silas wholly, without regrets, knowing there had been a real and true reason why I’d waited.

  I didn’t know who started fumbling with whose jeans first, only that in the next few seconds they’d been pulled off, along with boots and socks and everything else in the way. My fingers wrapped around him, feeling the size and the heaviness of his shaft, of how ready he was for me, even as he reached down to stroke me.

  Oh, God, that was amazing. I’d relieved my own tension from time to time, when the pressure had built up enough, but that couldn’t compare to the way Silas was touching me now, the way those strong fingers seemed to know exactly what to do. The heat was building in me, and I wondered if he was going to make me come right then and there. Not that I would mind, but usually it took a little more effort than that.

  Ah, yes, there. I convulsed against him, body spasming as he stroked me to orgasm and I held on to him, having to abandon his cock for a moment while I clung to him with both hands, letting the climax flow through me, the world spinning around and around. He held me, his lips pressed against my neck, kissing me until I was able to return to myself.

  “Good?” he asked.

  “Amazing. Where — ?” I cut myself off there. Did I really want to know what his past sexual experiences had been? Shouldn’t it be enough for the two of us to be here now?

  Silas seemed to guess where I’d been going with that abortive question, however, because he kissed me again before saying, “We’re not encouraged to have casual sexual relations. Too many complications. So….” He didn’t say anything more; he didn’t have to.

  The words popped out anyway. “You’re a virgin?”

  “Does that bother you?”

  Did it? I only had to ponder the issue for a few seconds before I decided that no, it really didn’t. If nothing else, the way he’d touched me just a minute earlier seemed to prove that he knew what he was doing. And I thought I liked the idea of being his first…for everything.

  “Not at all,” I replied. I reached down and took him in my hand again, running my fingers up and down his shaft. He moaned, his eyes closing, and I shifted so we were lying side by side on the couch. From there it seemed the most natural thing in the world to bend down and take him in my mouth, to taste the faint saltiness of his sweat, to breathe in his scent. Oh, yes, he was human enough then, everything that I needed.

  His breath quickened, but I kept at it slow and steady, wanting to pleasure him for as long as I could without actually getting him off. But he was getting harder and harder, and I knew I’d have to stop. Not a problem, because as soon as I let go of his shaft, I moved so I was straddling him, letting him plunge into me.

  As I did so, however, his eyes flared open in alarm. “Protection — ”

  “No worries,” I said sweetly, rocking my hips so I could bring him even deeper inside me. Ah, sweet lord, that was amazing. Big, but in a delicious way so he filled me perfectly. “I have an IUD. It’s all good.”

  That information obviously was enough to satisfy him, because afterward I could feel the way the tension went out of his body, how he focused on moving with me, slowly at first, then faster, deeper, harder. This time I was the one with the eyes closed, my entire being seeming to close down to this one moment, this one overwhelming set of sensations.

  And then he let out a groan as he spasmed into me, the warmth of his seed filling my very center. I clung to his arms as he let go, because then it was my turn, this orgasm harder, more intense than the last, carrying me with it, flooding through every limb. Our mingled cries echoed against the cement walls of the loft, until I didn’t have the strength remain on top of him anymore and collapsed at his side, the leather of the sofa sticking slightly to my sweat-dampened skin.

  For a long time, neither of us said anything. I was content to lie there next to him, to listen as his breathing gradually quieted. His hand passed over my hair. “Serena, my love,” he whispered.

  Was that my heart skipping a beat? Calm down, I told myself. He just called you “my love.” He didn’t come right out and say he loved you.

  Still….

  I snuggled against him, knowing that soon enough we’d need to get up and get ourselves sorted out. For now, thou
gh, I just wanted to feel his body, feel that smooth skin and the heavy muscles beneath it. “I hope I’m not going to get you in trouble. Because of that ‘casual sexual relations’ thing.”

  His eyes opened, held mine. “This wasn’t casual. At least, not for me.”

  “Or for me,” I told him. “This was probably the least casual thing I’ve ever done.”

  His hand reached out, catching a lock of hair. He wrapped it around his finger, the gesture almost reverent. “I always knew I would wait until the match of my heart entered my life. I love you, Serena.”

  This time I knew my heart skipped a beat. “I love you, Silas,” I whispered. “But what do we do now?”

  “Whatever we must,” he replied.

  * * *

  Afterward, he led me up to his bedroom. Like the rest of the loft, it was spare, industrial, with exposed pipes overhead, although the bed itself was luxurious, king size, with a heavy down coverlet. It felt amazing to sink down into that bed, to pull the warm comforter over us before we made love again, this time more slowly, savoring each moment, each sigh, each taste.

  And then I fell asleep in his arms, his heavy, steady heartbeat guiding me into a deep, dreamless slumber. I realized that I’d never asked him if he needed to sleep as well….

  That question seemed to be answered, though, when I awoke early the next morning and saw him still apparently passed out next to me, his hair a shaggy mess on his pillow, his lashes a sooty fringe against his cheeks. A wave of fierce tenderness went over me then as I gazed at him, at the proud profile and scruff of dark hair on his cheeks and chin.

  I’d never felt this way before.

  About anyone.

  How crazy was that? How insane was it that I apparently didn’t have a problem with him being a shape-shifting monster?

  No, not a monster, I corrected myself. Something different, something extraordinary. Lucius Montfort and his vampires and semivives — they’re the monsters, even if they look human.

  Silas stirred, then rolled over on his side. His eyes opened, met mine.

  “Good morning,” I said.

  He smiled, looking drowsy and relaxed and oh, so sexy. “Good morning.”

  “It’s still raining.”

  His gaze moved from me to the filtered, gray-tinged light coming through the blinds. “So it is. A good morning for staying in.”

  That sounded like a wonderful idea to me. To be here with him, enjoying some of the afterglow from the night before…I never wanted to go home.

  “You don’t have anything important on the docket today?”

  He propped himself up on his elbows so he could look down at me. “Only you.”

  Who wouldn’t want to hear something like that? I sat up, too, although I hugged the covers against my breasts. It was one thing to be wild and abandoned in the depths of the night, when everything was communicated by a touch, a caress, the sweetness of a shared kiss. Now, though, I could feel my self-consciousness begin to creep back, even if Silas had told me that he didn’t mind my scars.

  Clearly, he noticed, because he glanced away. Something about his posture became more businesslike, his back and shoulders straighter. He sat up all the way, and pushed himself out of bed, thus treating me to an enticing view of his sculpted thighs and butt. Still facing the wall, he said, “Do you regret this?”

  Oh, damn, talk about giving the wrong impression. I got up, too, forced myself to ignore my nakedness. I had to make sure he knew this was about me, not him. “No, of course I don’t. If I hadn’t wanted to be with you, I would have stopped things last night before they got out of hand.”

  He stood there quietly, though, and didn’t respond. Neither would he look at me.

  A crazy idea began to take shape in my mind. I had to convince him that I did want him…all of him.

  “Silas, I want you to shift. To change.”

  This time he did turn in my direction, his expression shocked. “What?”

  “Show me. Last night I told you I loved you. I want you to know that I meant it. I’m not afraid.”

  “Serena, this isn’t necessary — ”

  “I think it is. Please.”

  He hesitated for so long that I was sure he would say no, would find some other reason to protest. But then his shoulders squared, and he walked away from the bed, into the open part of the room.

  Of course. He’d need the space to accommodate those wings of his.

  I saw him take a breath, followed by another. And then his skin darkened, changed texture. The wings grew from his back, huge, nearly touching the ceiling. His features shifted, the nose becoming larger, hooked, his lips thinning. And then his dark eyes shifted to shimmering coppery orange, the pupils elongating at the same time.

  Even though I’d asked him to do this, I still experienced a stab of fear. He looked so much more real now than he had last night. The darkness had shadowed him, had hidden some of the details that were now revealed in the light of day. It took everything I had to remain standing where I was, to not back away. But I couldn’t. I had to accept this — no, I couldn’t call him a creature. He was still Silas, no matter what he looked like.

  “Is this what you wanted?”

  His voice was deeper, harsher. A different set of vocal chords, a larger chest. But the intonation was still his.

  “Yes,” I said. “This was what I wanted.”

  I took a step toward him, then another. He didn’t move, only stood there, watching me with those alien eyes.

  Not completely alien. I could still see Silas in there somewhere.

  A few more breaths, and I paused directly in front of him. It was the strangest thing in the world, to stand in front of him naked, although my hair had fallen over my breasts, partially obscuring them. Last night when he transformed, he had broken out of his shirt and jacket but not his pants, wasn’t completely revealed as he was now. Definitely male.

  I made myself take that final step, pressed my naked body against his. A shudder went through him. “Serena — ”

  “Kiss me, Silas. Kiss me as you are now.”

  Dead silence, except the soft patter of the rain outside the window. What would be worse — if he denied me, or if he said yes? I’d been brave up until that moment, but my body was tense, as if it didn’t know if it was prepared for what I’d just gotten it into.

  Then his arms, corded with muscle, went around me, and he was pulling me close, was bending his head so he could claim my mouth with his. He tasted the same, although his tongue was shaped differently, longer, more pointed. A few impure thoughts crossed my mind as to what he might do with that tongue in the future, and a delicious shiver went through me.

  And oh, I could feel him hardening against me, his thick cock pressing against my belly. A wave of desire so intense it was almost cramping in its urgency flowed over me, and I pushed myself against him, knowing I wanted that too, wanted him to make love to me this way, just so he would know that I didn’t care, that he was everything I needed, no matter what form he took.

  He seemed to understand, because he made a growling sound deep in his throat, right before he lifted me from the wooden floor and supported me with his arms as he pushed himself deep inside. I cried out, clinging to him, hanging on as he thrust in and out, going deeper, filling me, his great wings steadying the two of us as we came together in a joining even more intense than our lovemaking from the night before.

  I couldn’t help screaming as I came. It was a primal sound ripped from my throat, something I couldn’t hold back, even as my body shook with the intensity of an orgasm that thundered through me with the force of a shockwave. A few seconds later, he climaxed as well, his heat exploding into my core. I couldn’t do anything except hold on to him, and let him hold on to me, until at last he staggered over to the bed and laid me down on it. Almost immediately afterward, he became the Silas I’d first met, human, his face sheened with sweat, his breathing labored.

  “My God,” he said at last, right before he co
llapsed on the bed next to me.

  I reached out with my left hand and took his right. His fingers tightened on mine. “So that was okay?”

  “So much more than okay.” He pushed himself up to a sitting position, then leaned over so he could brush a lock of hair away from my face. “I never imagined — I never thought — ”

  I rolled onto my side so I was looking up at him. “Never thought what?”

  “Never thought that you….” The words trailed off. His hand still lingered on my hair, and he ran his fingers through its length, as if by doing so, he could gather the courage to continue the sentence. “Yesterday you said you thought it was stalkerish for me to be watching you these past three years. In my heart, I never saw it that way. You needed to be protected. But as time went on, I realized my feelings for you might have been something more than merely taking pride in carrying out my duty. It made me happy to see you walking in the sunshine, the wind blowing in your hair, to see you smile at one of your Uber drivers or wave goodbye to your friend Candace. I even….”

  “You even what?” I asked softly. These revelations didn’t bother me as much as maybe they should have, because I knew he’d only stepped in, had only approached, when Lucius Montfort sent one of his minions to attack me.

  “I even hoped that if I ever did have the chance to speak to you, maybe we could learn to be friends. Or more.” He stopped there and trailed his fingers along my cheek, and I closed my eyes at the tender brush of skin against skin. “It was a foolish dream, or so I thought. But in all that time, never did I think that you would be willing to be with me as you just were now. It is a very rare thing.”

  “Really?” I pushed myself up from my elbow so I was upright next to him. “I’d think that the women who are with the other gula would want to accept that part of them as well.”

  “Yes, you might think that, but it does not happen very often. Or so I’ve been told.”

  I was quiet then, gladder than ever that I’d been able to find that courage within myself. And, lest I sound too noble, the sex had been mind-blowing. Those women who were with the other gula didn’t know what they were missing.