Could that mean he had already lost control?
Blake pushed that alarming notion into a headspace that he wasn’t about to revisit. It was nonsense. If he really wanted to escape, he could end this at any time, however difficult it might be.
He just didn’t want to. Not yet.
* * *
Speeding over the Sydney Harbour bridge later that night, with the sparkling lights of this beautiful city reflected in the expanse of water and Sam’s arms tightly wound around his waist and her body pressing against his back, made Blake realise just how much he didn’t want this to end.
He wanted this particular night to last for ever.
He knew the best restaurant, with a harbour view. Well, okay, it was only a café but that meant it didn’t matter that they were wearing jeans. And it did have the best blues band he’d heard in a long time and he had a feeling that Sam might be up for a bit of dancing.
Slow dancing.
A kind of foreplay that could last for hours and build desire until it was unbearable for both of them.
Who would crack first and suggest that it was time to go home?
He’d changed the sheets on the big bed in the corner of his loft apartment. He’d even thought to put a bunch of candles nearby, ready to provide the kind of romantic light that would be just enough to see every delicious curve of Sam’s body. To see the expression in her eyes when he took them both to paradise...
Oh, man...
He was going to crack first, wasn’t he? Slowing for some traffic lights on the other side of the bridge, it took a surprising amount of self-control not to turn the bike around right then.
Instead he turned his head.
‘You good?’
Sam’s gloved fingers pressed more deeply into his abdomen. Her voice might be raised but it was still the sexiest sound he’d ever heard.
‘Never better... Can we go a bit faster?’
* * *
She’d died and gone to bad boy heaven, that’s what this was.
Right from the moment she’d walked out of the door of her apartment block and there he’d been. Sitting there, astride that big bike—like a modern-day Marlon Brando—holding out her helmet and gloves like an invitation to step into her fantasy world.
The sensation of speed, with her body exposed to the elements, was a thrill that was poignant because it gave her an unexpected jolt of connection with the big brother she missed so much. Finally, she could understand his love for this mode of transport—this heady mix of delight and danger. It made her tighten her hold on Blake’s body and that gave her another kind of jolt. A feeling of safety.
No...it was more complex than that. She knew this was dangerous but, because she was with Blake, she simply didn’t care. She was quite prepared to go anywhere he wanted to lead her.
Even if it turned out it was only for one more night.
She’d expected him to be taking her to where he lived. To where there was a private space with a bed. That was what this was all about, wasn’t it?
Just sex. An attraction that apparently neither of them had had enough of yet.
But it seemed that Blake had other ideas.
The smoky, dimly lit, seaside café bar was a place she’d never heard of and probably would never have thought to enter even if she had, to be honest. But the garlic prawns and fries they ate with their fingers was the most delicious food ever. And the dancing...
Who knew that Blake Cooper was capable of dancing like this? It was just as well this place was so dimly lit, because it almost felt like they were making love with their clothes on. Every stroke of his hand down her back that ended in his cupping her bottom. Every press of his forehead against hers so that she could feel his breath on her face. Sam never wanted it to stop.
But she wanted it to stop right now. So they could go somewhere and be alone. To do what had been the intention of suggesting another ‘one-off’ and sate the need to be with each other in the most intimate way possible.
Blake didn’t seem to be in any hurry, however. His body language was totally relaxed but, as the evening wore on, it didn’t quite match the intensity she could feel in his gaze.
Finally, she couldn’t stand it any longer. She twisted in his arms on the dance floor so that she could see his face properly.
‘What time does this place close?’
‘I think it stays open all night.’
Okay, there was a twinkle in that intensity now and Sam realised that he’d been playing with her. Waiting...
She shifted her hold, snaking one hand up to thread her fingers into his hair and pull his head close enough to touch her lips against his. Just the softest graze of contact and she kept her eyes open so that she could catch the moment he knew he’d lost whatever game he’d been playing.
He almost pushed her in his haste to leave the dance floor but that only made it impossible for Sam to hide her smile.
* * *
Not tonight. Busy.
Blake stared at the three words he had just tapped into his phone. His finger hovered over the ‘send’ button.
It would be the first time in nearly a month that he hadn’t moved heaven and earth to try and make it possible to spend time with Sam.
And it was his mother’s fault.
Okay, maybe an alarm bell had sounded a while back—after the third or fourth time, perhaps—when neither of them seemed at all inclined to walk away.
Why would they? The sex was fantastic and they enjoyed each other’s company. There were no strings attached. Not even a heavy conversation that pried into his past or demanded forecasts concerning his future. It didn’t make any difference to how well they worked together, either. He wasn’t subjected to lingering, hopeful glances or ‘accidental’ meetings and Sam clearly hadn’t told anybody about their arrangement because nobody had said anything. He hadn’t even noticed a raised eyebrow from Emily’s direction.
It felt like a game. Like the one he’d instigated on that first night, when he’d been teasing her on the dance floor and trying to make her crack first and suggest they go somewhere more private.
He’d lost that time. The stakes might be a little higher now but Blake didn’t want to lose this time.
It was Sam’s turn to crack first. She needed to be the one to walk away.
He’d expected it to have happened by now. They’d had their fun, hadn’t they?
Alarm bells couldn’t be ignored this time, thanks to his mother. Maybe Emily hadn’t noticed anything different at work but Sharon Cooper wasn’t so easily fooled.
‘So, who is she this time?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I know that look. It’s not just that I haven’t seen so much of you lately. You’ve got... I don’t know...a sort of glow.’
Blake snorted. ‘A glow? Good grief...’
Sharon sighed. ‘You look happier, that’s all. And that’s a good thing.’ She smiled as she got slowly to her feet to carry her plate to the sink. ‘Maybe this time I’ll get to meet her.’
And that’s when it happened.
For the first time ever, Blake actually wanted to bring a girl home to meet his mother.
He’d been planning to text her after his visit here and see if she was free later tonight. But Sam had texted first to ask if he was free and the timing couldn’t have been worse because the message had pinged onto his phone as he was sitting there, shocked at the very idea of inviting his current bed partner into his very private life.
Maybe he just had to take it on the chin and let Sam win again this time.
He was going to crack first.
It took just a tiny tap to send his text message on its way.
Now all he had to do was ease his conscience by making sure he was busy later. There were a couple of odd jobs that needed doing for his mother but, a
fter that, Blake decided he would head to the gym. He hadn’t had a good workout for far too long.
Not the sort you could do in public, anyway.
* * *
It was Harriet’s fault.
Sam stood at the bottom of the most daunting climbing wall she’d ever seen but the impressive variety of overhangs and cracks wasn’t what was making this so very difficult.
She’d had a go at indoor climbing before and loved it but it was a long time ago and the person who’d been her belayer had been her brother, Alistair. It had been unthinkable to go back without him. Or to play at the type of activity that had led to his death.
What she was grappling with now, as she clipped her belay device to the carabiner on her harness, was a weird mix of emotions.
A wave of grief for Alistair but a sense of pride, as well. She knew that he’d be applauding her right now. Or giving her a thumbs-up, anyway. For being courageous. For breaking through such a huge barrier.
For being so determined not to let it bother her that she couldn’t be with Blake Cooper tonight and then doing something about it by grabbing her keys and heading straight out the door.
She wouldn’t have thought of coming here in a million years, though, if she hadn’t just had that conversation with Harriet.
‘I’ve just had an email about the next training day for the SDR,’ she’d told Sam. ‘It’s a rock-climbing exercise. Didn’t you do that when you were a teenager?’
‘It’s so long ago, I’ve probably forgotten everything.’
‘Nah... I’ll bet it’s like riding a bike. Muscle memory, you know? Maybe you could get a practice session in first, just to make sure, but I reckon it’s the perfect time to put your name forward to try out. Want me to do it?’
Sam’s phone sounded her text alert and she put Harriet on speaker phone so that she could change screens, knowing that it could be Blake answering her text.
Not tonight. Busy.
No apology. No suggestion of another day.
It felt like a dismissal. Was this how he was choosing to let her know that it was over?
If it was, there was nothing she could do about it. They’d made an agreement, hadn’t they? When one of them reached that point, the other had to simply walk away too. No regrets. No looking back.
Where on earth had this wash of fear come from?
It wasn’t as if she was in love with Blake. This had been supposed to be fun. A fantasy with the bad boy who broke everybody’s hearts.
It certainly wasn’t supposed to be threatening to break her heart.
And she wouldn’t let it.
‘Sam? You still there?’
She tuned back in to Harriet’s voice. ‘Yes...sorry... I was just thinking.’
‘That it’s time? I can put the wheels in motion for you to get a try out for the team.’
‘You know what? I think you’re right. And seeing as I haven’t got anything better to do tonight, I’m going to go to that gym near the hospital and see what their climbing wall looks like.’
‘Go, you. Hey, if you see Pete there, can you give him a message?’
‘Sure.’
‘Tell him his dinner’s getting cold.’ Harriet laughed. ‘And I’m getting hot.’
There’d been no sign of Pete when Sam had arrived and organised her climbing session and gear rental. She now had a harness on over her soft yoga pants and sports top, soft climbing shoes with grippy soles and a new chalk ball that she would use to keep her fingers and palms dry.
An instructor checked her harness and clipped the belay device to her carabiner. Her rope was also attached to an overhead anchor because she was doing what was called ‘top roping’.
‘Are you sure about using the auto belay? Seeing as it’s your first time here, it might be better to have someone on the other end of the rope. If you can wait thirty minutes, I’ve got a free slot.’
‘I’ll have a go,’ Sam told him. ‘I have done it before and I’ll just go the easiest route. That’s the green holds, yes?’
‘Yeah... Green, then orange and the most difficult is red. Easy to remember, like traffic lights. You sure you’re okay with heights?’
Sam took a deep breath as she glanced up at just how high this wall was. It was safe, she reminded herself. If she missed a hold she could only fall a short distance before the belay device would lock the rope. It might be embarrassing but she wasn’t going to get anything more than a bump or a graze from the textured material that looked remarkably like natural rocks. She grinned at the staff member.
‘Soon find out, I guess.’
‘If you get stuck, someone will be able to help. Main thing is not to panic.’
‘Got it. Thanks for your help.’
‘I’ll check on you. Offer’s still open for a training session later if you want it.’
The first few holds were easy with good-sized pegs coming out from the wall or boulders that had plenty of room for a foot or hand hold. Sam took it slowly and carefully but it seemed no time at all before she was quite a long way from ground level.
She didn’t look down, however. Or up. She remembered that from those sessions with Alistair so long ago. Her focus only needed to be on the next green marker. One step at a time. There were people here who were at the top of this game and they’d set this route. Beginner’s level but it still required physical effort and a determined mind set.
Halfway up the wall, Sam wobbled, clinging to the wall like a crab and pausing to take several steadying, deep breaths.
This was a lot harder than climbing over a huge pile of debris and remembering to keep three points of contact with the surface at all times. An image of Blake filled her head for a moment then, and Sam realised it was the first time she’d thought about him since she’d arrived at the gym.
That had to be a good thing, didn’t it?
And maybe it would be a good thing if their time together had finished. It would mean less of a complication for when she joined the SDR team. She’d just have to learn to do without him in her life in other ways.
She’d just have to get over this fear that it might be a lot more difficult than she might have expected.
Like this climb was threatening to be now that she wasn’t concentrating.
Sam forced herself to focus. You can do this, she told herself firmly. Imagine that it’s Alistair holding your rope. That he’s yelling at you now to get on with the next hold. Asking if you’ve fallen asleep or something...
The thought made her smile. Glance down for a heartbeat, even, as though she would really see her brother down there.
What she did see were other people on the wall below her. Someone was bouldering with no ropes, on a route close to the floor with crash mats beneath them. And someone else was lead climbing where they clipped their rope onto a series of points bolted to the wall rather than overhead. It was a lot harder than top roping and this person was using the red markers as well.
Clearly an expert. For a moment, he was hidden by an overhang and all Sam could see were his fingers as he found a grip that would be enough to haul his body weight through space until he could hook a foot over the edge.
Wow...
If he lost his grip, he’d fall to where the previous clip point was and that could be enough to cause quite a serious injury.
She found she was holding her breath as the foot appeared and then muscles bulged in bare arms as more of his body appeared and then twisted. For a moment, he was in a sitting position on the overhang, but he didn’t pause to take a breath, instantly crouching and looking up to see where his new clip point or hold was.
Her breath came out in an incredulous huff.
Blake?
Had she said his name aloud, or had he just heard it anyway?
Or was she just close enough to where his route was leading him?
>
Whatever. His gaze snagged on hers and then away again, as if he wasn’t even surprised.
But he came sideways. As if it didn’t matter in the least that he was choosing orange holds instead of red. Or that his clip point was getting further and further away.
‘What the heck are you doing here?’
‘Climbing a wall.’
‘I’ve never seen you here before.’
‘First time,’ Sam admitted.
‘And you’re doing it by yourself?’ Blake looked incredulous. ‘Are you crazy?’
‘I’ve done it before. I just wanted to see how much I remembered.’
‘Why?’
For a moment, Sam completely forgot that she was a human spider quite a long way from a solid surface. She held Blake’s gaze and tried not to fall into the pull she could feel from his body. From the sweat-slicked skin that his tank top left exposed. From that intense heat in his eyes.
‘I heard that the next SDR training session involves some climbing. Harriet’s going to put my name forward and I intend to be ready for it.’
The corner of Blake’s mouth curled upwards as he shook his head. ‘I’ve got to hand it to you, Sam. You don’t give up when you want something, do you?’
‘I don’t expect you do, either.’
The smile vanished. ‘Not unless I have to.’
Was he referring to his dream of joining MSF? Was it a warning, perhaps, that Sam might have to give up on joining the team because he had no intention of allowing her to try out for it?
She held his gaze for a moment longer. You can’t do that to me, she told him silently. It wouldn’t be fair...
‘Everything okay up there?’ The instructor who’d helped Sam had noticed their lack of movement.
‘All good, Dave,’ Blake called back. His gaze slid back to Sam. ‘Or is it?’
‘You tell me,’ she said. ‘Are you going to let me try out for the team?’
‘Is that what you really want?’ His voice was low. Sexy. As if he was asking about something she wanted him to do to her body and Sam found her lips parting. She had to dampen them with her tongue before she could respond.
‘Yes,’ she whispered. ‘Yes, please...’
The Shy Nurse's Rebel Doc Page 11