District Nurse on Call

by Donna Douglas

  James held himself rigid, his arms clamped to his sides to stop himself from punching Sir Edward’s smug face. He wished he didn’t have to stand there and enjoy their defeat. The looks on the men’s faces filled him with guilt. He wanted to crawl away and hide from the shame of it all.

  And then he spotted Rob Chadwick sauntering across the yard towards him, that big knowing smirk on his face.

  James stiffened, instantly wary, like an animal ready to fight.

  ‘Hello, who’s this?’ Sir Edward said at his side. ‘One of our men?’

  ‘No, sir.’

  It had been two weeks since Rob had come to his office. James had not seen or heard anything of him since that day, and he had begun to allow himself to think that the danger had passed. But now all his fears came flooding back at the sight of him.

  Rob was standing in front of them now, that insolent grin still plastered all over his face.

  ‘Good morning, Mr Shepherd,’ he greeted him.

  ‘What do you want, Chadwick?’ James blurted out.

  Rob paused for a moment, his smile widening. He was enjoying himself, James could tell.

  ‘I came to ask, sir, if there was any work going?’

  James stared at him. ‘Here?’ He was so shocked he could barely take in what he was hearing. ‘You’re asking for a job here, at the pit?’

  ‘Aye, sir. I’m not needed on the farm now the harvest’s done so I thought I’d ask here, since it looks like I’m going to be stopping on for a while.’ He held James’ gaze while he said it.

  ‘You’ve worked at this pit before?’ Sir Edward asked.

  ‘Aye, sir. I was brought up to it. I worked at Bowden Main since I were fifteen years old.’

  ‘Well, in that case—’

  ‘No,’ James said.

  Sir Edward turned to face him. ‘I beg your pardon?’

  ‘There are no jobs going at Bowden Main. Not for the likes of this man.’

  Sir Edward stared at him in astonishment. ‘What are you talking about, Shepherd? Only yesterday you were telling me how short-handed we are, since so many of the men have left the village and found other work. And here we have an experienced pitman looking for work, and you want to turn him away? It makes no sense to me.’

  ‘Nor me, sir.’ Rob looked back at James boldly.

  James found his voice. ‘This man is a known trouble-maker, sir,’ he said to Sir Edward. ‘The last time he worked here …’

  ‘The last time I worked here I were nobbut a lad,’ Rob said. ‘I’ll admit I were a bit wild back in those days. But I’m a grown man now, and I’m hoping to have a family to support soon.’ He sent James a sly look. ‘I’m ready to buckle down, for their sake.’

  ‘There you are, then.’ Sir Edward nodded, satisfied. ‘You heard the man, Shepherd. Let’s give him a trial.’

  ‘But, sir—’ James started to say. Sir Edward held up his hand.

  ‘That is my final word on the subject,’ he said.

  ‘Thank you, sir.’ Rob bowed his head, trying to look humble, although James could still see that insolent glint in his eye. ‘I’m much obliged. I won’t let you down, I promise.’

  ‘See that you don’t.’ Sir Edward turned to address James. ‘Take him up to the office and get him started, Shepherd.’

  ‘Yes, sir,’ James replied through tight lips.

  ‘That’s you told!’ Rob laughed as he followed James up the wooden stairs to his office. ‘Call thysen pit manager? We all know who really gives the orders round here, don’t we? I can’t say as I’d let the old man talk to me like that. But I suppose you’re used to it, in’t you, being his lackey?’

  James closed the office door and turned on his tormentor. ‘I thought I told you to leave Bowden and not come back?’

  ‘And I thought I told you I weren’t going anywhere without Carrie and my son?’ Rob shot back. He looked around. ‘Well? In’t there some papers or other I’ve got to sign?’

  James went to the filing cabinet and took out a form. ‘Here,’ he said, shoving it across the desk towards Rob. ‘Fill this in. That is, if you can write?’

  He smirked at the insult. ‘Oh, aye, I can write.’ He snatched the pen from the inkstand. ‘You reckon you’re better than I am, don’t you? But let me tell you summat. For all your fancy education, it’s still me Carrie wants.’

  ‘Then why hasn’t she left me?’

  It was the hope James clung to in the dead of night when he lay awake, despairing. Every day when he returned from work, his heart was in his mouth, waiting to see if she was still there. And as time went by, he had started to allow himself to hope that Rob had been lying.

  Rob’s mouth tightened, his smile disappearing. ‘Aye, well, happen she’s too soft-hearted. She feels sorry for you. And I suppose she feels as if she owes you summat. After all, you have been bringing up another man’s child all this time. But you must know how unhappy she is?’

  James was silent. The truth was, things had been strained between them lately. He’d sensed Carrie had something on her mind, and several times had caught her watching him and known she was on the verge of saying something. But coward that he was, he had always managed to distract her, because he was so afraid of what he might hear.

  Rob must have read his troubled expression. ‘You see? You do know what I’m talking about, don’t you?’ He put down the pen. ‘Anyway, the way I see it, we should sort this out honourably, man to man—’

  James laughed. ‘What do you know about honour?’

  ‘I know I’d never cling on to a woman who didn’t care for me!’ Rob settled back in his chair. ‘But either way, the truth will come out.’

  James stared at him. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘If you don’t leave her, I’ll make sure everyone knows Henry is my son.’

  ‘You mean you’d shame Carrie?’

  ‘Oh, Carrie and I can always leave the village, start a new life together if we must. It’ll be you everyone will be pointing the finger at, you who have to live with the gossip and the humiliation. I don’t suppose you’ll be able to stand that, will you? You won’t be able to hold your head up in Bowden again.’ Rob smiled nastily. ‘It’s your choice,’ he said. ‘Let her go like a real man, or hang on and see what happens.’

  James thrust the piece of paper at him. ‘You forgot to sign this.’

  Rob picked up the pen and scrawled his name. ‘You never know,’ he laughed. ‘The pit roof might fall on my head and that will be the end of me.’

  James glared back at him. ‘I could never be that lucky,’ he muttered.

  He sat at his desk, simmering with anger, long after Rob had gone. Out of the corner of his eye he could see his father glaring down at him. His mouth was curled, and he seemed to be sneering at his son’s humiliation.

  Suddenly James was a boy again, knocked flat on his back in the dust by another local lad, with his father standing over him.

  You’re too soft, that’s your trouble.

  Henry Chadwick would not stand to have his shame paraded around the village. His father would hit first, and hit hard.

  It was a long, frustrating day. James tried to concentrate on the ground surveys he had commissioned for the sinking of the new shaft, but he was aware of trouble going on outside. Several times the men surfaced due to fire damp, and there were fights in the yard as they waited to go back underground. The mood at the pit was tense and unhappy, nothing like he had ever known.

  Usually it would have been a relief to go home, but this time James returned to William Street with a heavy heart, knowing what was to come. By the end of this evening, one way or another, his life would not be the same.

  His heart lurched into his mouth when he saw Carrie waiting at the gate. Even though he had been preparing himself for this moment all day, the reality of it caught him like a blow.

  She saw him and started to run to him. As she drew closer, he could see she had been crying.

  He wanted to run to her, but his feet w
ere rooted to the ground. He could taste fear in his mouth.

  ‘Oh, James!’ She launched herself at him and he forgot himself, his arms going around her, holding her trembling body close to his. Her skin was soft against his cheek, her hair freshly washed with a fragrance of lemons. James breathed it in, knowing he would never smell it again.

  ‘What is it, my love?’ he murmured

  Carrie pulled away from him, her blue eyes shimmering bright with tears. ‘It’s Father …’ she whispered.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  The whole village turned out to pay their respects to Eric Wardle.

  The tiny Methodist chapel where he had often preached was filled to overflowing with friends and neighbours. Carrie could see their bowed heads as she walked slowly behind her father’s coffin with her mother and sisters, baby Henry in her arms and James at her side.

  It was a warm day, and the sun streamed in through the high windows. The perfect Indian summer day, Carrie thought. Her father would have been out on his allotment, soaking up the last rays of the sun before autumn came, planting lettuces for the following spring and some late turnips for their green tops. How he would have scolded them for wasting such a glorious day indoors.

  Gertie, her youngest sister, was in floods of tears, but Carrie, Eliza and Hattie were all determined not to cry in front of everyone. All the same, Carrie was thankful for James’ supportive arm around her. He was like a tower of strength beside her, holding her up when her legs started to buckle.

  After the burial, they all made their way back to Coalpit Row, where her mother and sisters had prepared a spread. As was customary in the event of a miner’s death, the Haverstocks had made a small contribution, but Eric Wardle had put aside some money of his own to pay for his funeral.

  Carrie set Henry in his pram for a nap, then helped her sisters arrange the sandwiches, sausage rolls and dainty cakes on plates, while her mother made a pot of tea.

  Carrie was taking the damp tea towel from over a plate of sandwiches when she saw Rob outside the back door, smoking a cigarette in the lane and talking to a few of the other men.

  Her heartbeat quickened in her chest. She hadn’t seen him during the service, although she hadn’t really been aware of anything in the chapel but the blur of many faces. She could only hope and pray he would behave himself. Surely even Rob Chadwick would have more respect than to cause trouble at her father’s funeral?

  Thankfully, he stayed away from her, and Carrie began to relax. But later, as she was speaking to the minister with James, she saw Rob approaching out of the corner of her eye.

  Carrie felt James stiffen by her side.

  ‘Carrie,’ he greeted her, his voice sombre. He looked like a stranger in his ill-fitting suit. ‘I’m sorry for your loss.’

  She nodded, hardly trusting herself to speak.

  ‘Your father was a good man. He was always very kind to me.’

  Carrie thought about Rob, coming to visit when they were courting. Her father always treated him politely as a guest in his house, but Carrie remembered the strained smile on Eric’s face when Rob showed off at the table, pulling faces and making her and her sisters laugh.

  Eric Wardle certainly hadn’t been particularly sorry when Rob left the village.

  ‘Happen it’s for the best, lass,’ was all he had said. ‘That lad’s too restless for his own good.’

  Carrie was too heartbroken to listen at the time, but now she understood the wisdom behind her father’s words.

  ‘He was kind to everyone,’ she managed to say.

  The silence lengthened. ‘Have you heard, I’m working at the pit now?’ Rob said.

  Carrie looked at him sharply. ‘Since when?’

  ‘I started four days ago. In’t that right, Mr Shepherd?’

  James nodded without speaking. Carrie caught the look that passed between the men. Nausea rose in her throat.

  ‘Excuse me.’ She pushed past them, out of the door, across the lane to the earth closet. She barely had time to close the wooden door and fall to her knees before she was sick.

  She stayed there for a long time, her face pressed against the damp, whitewashed brickwork with its blossoming patches of green-black mould. The hot, reeking air of the privy stirred her stomach again, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave the sanctuary of the closet. For the moment, she was safe.

  Finally she emerged, to find Miss Sheridan waiting for her, looking concerned.

  ‘Gertie heard you and came to fetch me,’ she said. ‘Are you all right?’

  ‘Yes, thank you.’ Carrie forced a wan smile.

  ‘Are you sure? You look rather peaky. You’re not sickening for something?’

  ‘Nay. It’s just today … It’s all been too much for me.’

  ‘Of course.’ Agnes Sheridan’s brown eyes were full of sympathy. ‘Would you like me to walk you home?’

  ‘No, thank you. I ought to stay.’ Carrie looked past her shoulder into the cottage. ‘My mother needs me. I’ll walk home with James later.’

  ‘Oh, but your husband has already gone.’

  ‘Gone?’

  Agnes Sheridan nodded. ‘I saw him leaving a short while ago. I’m sorry, I thought you knew.’ She blushed.

  ‘No. No, I didn’t.’

  ‘He seemed in rather a hurry. Perhaps he’d had word of a problem at the pit?’

  ‘I expect that’ll be it.’ But it was Rob’s doing, Carrie was sure of it. She had seen the way they had looked at each other. Rob had probably insulted James.

  But all the same, it wasn’t like him to go off in a huff. It was her father’s funeral, and her husband had abandoned her without a word of goodbye.

  ‘Forgive me for asking, Mrs Shepherd, but is everything all right with you?’ Agnes Sheridan was watching her carefully. ‘I wouldn’t usually pry, but since that conversation we had—’

  ‘Yes. Yes, everything’s fine,’ Carrie replied absently, her gaze still fixed down the lane.

  ‘So you told him?’

  Carrie hesitated. ‘No,’ she admitted. ‘No, I didn’t. I’ve thought about it, but – it never seemed to be the right time.’

  How could she ever find the words to say such a thing? She had tried, several times. Sometimes she lay awake in bed, going through it over and over in her mind, trying to think of the right words to say that wouldn’t make him hate her.

  But she had failed.

  ‘I see.’ Agnes Sheridan nodded. Carrie saw the reproach in her eyes. She doubted if the nurse would ever be so weak. But then, she would probably never be foolish enough to get herself in such a mess in the first place.

  Carrie’s mother didn’t seem too troubled when she found out James had gone.

  ‘I expect he’s too upset,’ Kathleen said. ‘They were very fond of each other, you know. Your father used to say the lad hadn’t had an easy time of it, with that bully Henry Shepherd.’ She smiled weakly. ‘Eric had a lot of time for James. He always used to look forward to his visits.’

  Carrie frowned. ‘What visits?’

  ‘Didn’t he tell you? James used to come and sit with your father some afternoons, after he was taken ill and couldn’t get up and about. He would read to him, and they would talk. They’d go on for hours, the two of them.’ She looked confused. ‘I’m surprised James didn’t mention it to you?’

  ‘So am I,’ Carrie said. She was beginning to wonder if she really understood her husband at all.

  ‘But I suppose that’s just like him, isn’t it?’ Kathleen Wardle said. ‘Such a modest young man. Never one to show off or make a fuss about anything.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Anyway, I must go and see what’s keeping your sister,’ her mother went on. ‘I told her to go and make another pot of tea hours ago, and I still haven’t seen a sign of it. People are getting parched.’

  She bustled off. Carrie watched her go. Her mother was doing her best to keep busy, occupying herself by making sure everyone’s cups were kept filled and there wer
e enough sandwiches to go round. Carrie feared for what she would be like later, when the guests had gone home.

  And then she saw something through the window that made her forget James, and her own grief and her mother’s.

  Rob Chadwick was sitting on the low wall by the coal shed, with little Henry in his lap.

  He was singing him a song. Carrie could see him pulling faces as he bounced the baby up and down on his knee. There were people all around him, watching and smiling.

  Carrie felt the blood drain to her feet, leaving her light-headed.

  She pushed her way through the guests and rushed outside. Rob looked up at her, grinning.

  ‘Look, here’s your ma,’ he said, turning the baby round to look at her. Henry gave her a toothy grin.

  ‘Give him to me!’ Carrie hurried towards them, holding out her hands, but Rob shifted the baby away from her.

  ‘I was just keeping the little lad entertained. He was sitting up in his pram, wondering why he were missing out.’ He jiggled the lad on his knee. ‘He’s a bright little thing, in’t he? Handsome, too. Just like his father.’

  Carrie glanced round at the other people listening. Rob was deliberately taunting her.

  ‘Give him to me!’

  Henry seemed to sense her tension. He burst into tears. Carrie made a grab for him, pulling him right out of Rob’s arms.

  ‘You had no right,’ she muttered.

  ‘I have every right,’ he reminded her in a low voice.

  Carrie glanced around her, then turned and walked off down the lane, rocking Henry in her arms to calm him.

  She hadn’t gone far when she heard Rob’s footsteps behind her.

  ‘Why are you following me?’ she said, without looking round. ‘Go back inside.’

  ‘Why? Are you afraid your mester might see us? Oh, no, I forgot. He’s gone, in’t he?’ Rob tutted softly. ‘Fine husband he is, leaving you all by thysen at your father’s funeral. I mean, what kind of a man does that?’

  She sensed Rob approach, to stand close behind her. ‘If it had been me, I wouldn’t have left your side for a minute,’ he said softly. ‘When I saw you in that chapel, all I wanted was to take you in my arms and comfort you.’