5 Hosta La Vista, Baby!

by Gale Borger

  An Olive Branch Mystery

  Episode #5

  Hosta la Vista, Baby

  by

  Gale Borger

  Hosta la Vista, Baby

  An Olive Branch Mystery #5

  An Echelon Electric Short eBook

  First Echelon Press Publication / May 2012

  All rights Reserved.

  Copyright © 2012 by Gale Borger

  Cover Art © Karen L. Syed

  Echelon Press

  2721 Village Pine Terrace

  Orlando, FL 32833

  www.echelonpress.com

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information address Echelon Press LLC.

  eBook 978-159080-831-3

  Published by Echelon Press LLC.

  Chapter 1

  "I don't care what anyone says about you, Cash, you rock–big time!"

  "It's usually you saying it, Shroom."

  "Say whahhh?"

  "Talking smack about me. Dissin' me to anyone who'll listen. Blaming me for whatever–"

  "Hold on, man, I was just funnin' with you. I don't mean nothin' by it. Don't take it so personal all the time. You gotta slow down, Cash, learn to relax." Shroom closed his eyes and smiled. "Be a Shroom. Kick back. Here, have some pizza."

  Cash aped Shroom and closed his eyes. In a high voice he said, "Have some pizza, he says." He glared at Shroom. "Be a Shroooom!"

  Cash stuffed his hands in his pockets. He paced the room. "Here I am, public enemy number one with the cops, and the kid tells me to slow down."

  "Better than public enema number one, amigo. But you're still a pain in the butt any way you look at it, so you might as well be an enema. Ha-ha, funny one, enema–I kill me!"

  Cash walked past the pizza sitting on Bean's hospital table. He snatched a piece as he went by. He bit into the crust. Cheese oozed out the side. He smiled. "Mmm. Good stuff if I do say so myself."

  "Yeah, Cash. Thanks a lot for buying it." Bean looked around at the kids making themselves at home. Cash, Pone, Shroom, and Spaz snuck into the hospital after visiting hours. They brought him pizza and Dew. Now they were about to work as a group to go on to the next step. Man, we sure have come a long way from 'two llamas, a 'ho daddy, and a garden 'ho in meatspace. Bean reached for the pizza with his bad arm and gasped at the shot of pure pain. He grunted and almost dropped his pizza.

  Spaz jumped up and began stuffing pillows under Bean's arm. Bean squirmed, trying to escape the pain.

  "Yo, Spaz, stop now–oof! Uh, I'm good, really–ah, ow! No more pillows–ah, geez, ouch!"

  Spaz shoved another pillow under his arm. She smiled. "You okay now?"

  Shroom rubbed his belly. "Well, now that you mention it, I've had this pain . . ."

  Spaz rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you're a pain in my butt, Shroom. Can you just shut up for once? I'll rattle your cage if I want you to speak, moron. I'm talking to the guy with the bullet hole, here."

  Shroom shrugged and picked up his soda. He stuffed more pizza in his mouth. Watching Spaz fuss over Bean made him think of how he used to dream of someone fussing over him. He remembered like it was yesterday, when Big D put an arm around his skinny shoulders. Big D spun a tale about brotherhood and family that made gang banging seem the answers to all a young, lonely boy's prayers. Hah! Was he an idiot or what?

  He scowled and mumbled, "No one gave me no pizza when I had a bullet hole in me."

  Pone sighed. "I'd be glad to shoot you, if it would make you feel better."

  Dew shot out Cash's nostrils while he tried not to laugh. "Ha! I'll drive the getaway car!"

  Spaz looked over her shoulder. "And I'll hold him down so you don't miss."

  They had a good laugh at Shroom's expense. Spaz sobered and hopped off the bed. "Shh! We're not supposed to be here, remember?"

  She swung toward the door. Her fist slipped and hit the nurse call button. She tried to grab it to stop it, but it fell onto Bean's shoulder.

  Bean sucked in a painful breath and grabbed his bad arm. The light above his bed flashed on. They all froze for a split second. The light blinked on and off. Spaz stared at the little box. "Oh, no."

  A crackly voice came out of the call box. "Mr. O'Sullivan? Is everything all right?"

  Bean stared like a deer in the headlights. Spaz looked at the box. She looked at Bean. She looked at the box. Biting her lip, she flipped her hands at Bean. She mouthed, Say something! Bean tried to swallow a mouthful of pizza. "Ack, uh, ow!"

  Static blasted through the box. "Can I get you anything Ryan?"

  Bean grabbed the soda can off the table. He needed to wash down the ball of dough caught in his throat. He bumped his elbow and spilled it on the way to his mouth. "Damn. Ow! No, I–"

  The box crackled again. "Are you in pain, Ryan? Hold on a second. I'll come down."

  Bean grabbed the box. "Uh, no, wait! I'm good. Heck, it's all good here. Uh, don't come–"

  The call box clicked off.

  Spaz was the first to move. "Oh crap!" She grabbed napkins and sodas.

  Pone ran to the door. He eyeballed the hallway "She's coming! What do we do?"

  "Someone get the pizza!"

  Cash scooped up the box and looked around. "Now what?"

  "Hide, you idiot–quick!"

  They stopped and looked at each other. Shroom crossed his arms. "Like there's a lot of hiding places in a hospital room?"

  Pone glanced out the door again. "Uh, better find one quick. She's puffing this way like a freight train with a big old needle in her hand."

  Bean pointed to the closet. "Needle?"

  "Yup."

  Bean was frantic now. "Shroom, Spaz! Get in the closet. You're both skinny."

  Spaz opened the door. "I ain't that skinny, Bean Brain." She shoved the sodas on the top shelf.

  Pone clicked the door shut. "Then you'd better join Jenny Craig fast, 'cuz she's almost here!" He grabbed Spaz and shoved her into one side of the tiny closet.

  "Ahh! I'll get you for that, you–" Pone slammed the door.

  Cash stashed the pizza on the other shelf. He reached for Shroom. Shroom held up a hand and danced out of the way. "Hey, Dollar Bill, no one touches the–oof! Shrooooooo–"

  Cash caught Shroom's T-shirt. Whipping him toward the closet, Shroom flew like he'd been shot out of a cannon. He landed with a thump inside. Cash slammed the door closed.

  Pone nodded once and slid into the bathroom. He hit the light and ducked behind the door.

  Cash yanked the divider curtain half-way closed and dove under the other bed.

  Bean brushed the soda off his chest and yanked the sheet up with his good hand. It snagged on his bad arm and he sucked in a breath.

  The door swung open and a tiny nurse dressed in Scooby Doo scrubs walked into the room. She saw Bean lying on the bed, eyes squeezed shut and biting his lip. "Oh, Ryan, you shouldn't wait so long to tell us you're in pain."

  "No, no. It's not that. I hit the button by accident–"

  She raised the needle. "But I can tell by your face–"

  A thump sounded from the closet. The nurse froze. She looked at Bean. Needle pointing up, she slowly turned toward the closet. Bean panicked. He grabbed his bad arm. "Ooo, ow!"

  The nurse spun back to him. "Oh my, are you all right?"

  Bean turned watery eyes to her. "Uh, no, I changed my mind. The arm is a little sore."

  "Did you hear that?"

  "Hear what? You know, maybe I'm in more pain than I thought."

  The nurse sniffed the air. The smell of pepperoni hung heavy in the room. She looked around the room. Spotting the
pizza wrappers in the garbage, she lowered the needle. She crossed her arms. Raising a brow, she leveled a look at Bean. "Ryan? Were you perhaps having a little off-the-menu snack tonight?"

  Bean brushed the crumbs off his sheet. "Uh, you could say that."

  The nurse smiled. She picked up a can of Dew. "And could I also say you were in a sharing mood?"

  Bean looked down and blushed pink. "Uh, yes, I always like to share. But let me explain–"

  She pushed the needle into Bean's IV line. "Might I also say the party is over now?" A thump from the closet made her grin large.

  Bean said, "Uh, yeah. You could say that."

  Nurse Scooby Doo backed away from Bean's bed. "Good, because it is now eleven o'clock and visiting hours have been over for three hours." She looked up and raised her voice. "The elevator at the end of the hall takes you down to ER level. There is a lot of foot traffic down there. No one would give a second glance to anyone leaving through those doors." She patted Bean's good arm. "I thought you might like to know that. Good night, Ryan." She turned toward the door. She lifted a hand and rapped lightly on Shroom's side of the closet. "Did you hear me in there?"

  A rustling sounded behind the door. "Ain't no one in here, man."

  The nurse's eyes twinkled. "Just as I thought. Good night, Ryan." She turned and left the room.

  Bean's head fell back against the pillow. He slapped his good hand over his eyes and let out a huge sigh.

  The left side of the closet blew open and Spaz exploded into the room. "Whew, that was nasty." She raised a shaky hand to her hair.

  Bean's brow furrowed. "You okay?"

  Spaz stepped toward the bed and Bean took her hand. She shook herself free. "Yeah, I'm okay. Tight places make me a little nervous, that's all."

  Bean thought about group therapy and how Spaz's mother locked her in a closet–sometimes for days. He shot to a sitting position. He grabbed her arm. He spoke in a low voice. "Hey, sit for a minute, Spazola. Nobody here is going to say a thing." She made to pull away, and Bean tugged back. She flopped on the bed and her shoulders slumped. Her back was to Bean, so he grabbed the Kleenex box and stuffed a handful of tissues in her hand. She turned a watery smile his way and whispered, "Thanks." Bean winked.

  Pone stepped out of the bathroom. "Wow. That was kind-of a close one, eh?"

  Cash stood and brushed at his jeans. "Yeah, if only Mr. idiot-in-the-closet hadn't made so much noise. . ."

  The right side of the closet burst open and Shroom tumbled out, along with Bean's duffel bag, some garbage can liners, waterproof pads, a plastic dish, and a bed pan. He made a comical picture standing there with a sheet over his head, one foot still in the closet and one foot in the bed pan.

  Cussing up a storm, Shroom hopped a couple feet until his leg cleared the closet door, the bedpan clanking against the tile floor. He grabbed the sheet off his head and tossed it on the bed. "Whew, finally!"

  Shroom looked up to see everyone trying not to laugh. He put his hands on his hips. "What?"

  Pone clapped a hand over his mouth. His shoulders shook. Shroom shook the bedpan off his foot. "What?"

  Cash had both hands covering his face. Shroom scowled. "What?"

  Spaz laughed out loud. Shroom picked up the bedpan. He threw it into the closet and slammed the door. "Is someone going to tell me what's so flippin' funny?"

  Pone barked out a laugh and grabbed his belly. He danced on one foot and pointed at Shroom. "You!" He gulped in a couple breaths. "It's you, man! You're what's so funny! But it's good to see uh, ha-ha, that you're finally coming out of the closet!"

  Howls erupted from Cash, Pone, and Spaz. They laughed until they hurt. Shroom just looked confused, which made them laugh harder. "What are you guys laughing about? Of course I came out of the closet. Where else would I go?"

  A new wave of laughter rang through the room. Bean held his bad arm and tears ran down his face. Shroom stood in the middle of the room, big eyed and confused. He picked up the can liners and huffed. "I sure don't know what's up with you laughing hyenas. If a guy wants to come out of the closet, you don't have to laugh. I mean, really."

  He froze. He slowly turned to face the rest of them. They sobered, but the grins stayed glued to their faces. "Aw, you're kidding me, right? I didn't mean coming out of the closet, you morons. I meant like. . . coming out of the closet! Cripes, is there nothing you idiots don't laugh at?"

  Pone, Cash, and Spaz fell against each other, laughing. Cash straightened and stepped toward Shroom. He laid a hand on Shroom's shoulder. "I just wanted you to know that this will in no way affect our frr–our friendshi–our . . . Hah! Ha-ha-ha!"

  Shroom slapped his hand away and stomped toward the door. "To hell with you people. I'm outta here."

  Spaz grabbed his arm. "Wait a minute, Shroom. Don't be that way!"

  "What?"

  "We were just teasing you. Think about it. It was funny. Admit it. If it was Bean, you'd be laughing your butt off."

  Shroom let a small smile cross his face. "Yeah, but I always thought he was a little on the sweet side anyway."

  Though the drugs were taking over, Bean stopped laughing. "Hey!"

  Shroom smiled. "Okay, okay. I get it. It was a joke. Sorry. No one ever joked much in my house. I ain't used to it, that's all."

  Spaz drew Shroom back into the group. "We all have our issues, Shroom. It's not going to be easy to hold us together as a team, but don't let something stupid wreck our friendship, okay?"

  Shroom shook off her hand. "Friendship? Team? With you guys?"

  Pone stepped forward, grabbed Shroom's fingers, and fisted them in his own. He yanked him forward and slapped his back. "Yeah, man. Friendship. Team. Us." He looked at Bean and Cash. "Right?"

  Cash shrugged. "Sure. Heck, I'm in." He bumped knuckles with Pone and Shroom. Shroom looked up and batted his eyes. "Does that mean I get those Tron sunglasses back, old friend and team member?"

  Cash looked down his nose at Shroom, who looked back, grinning like an idiot. "You wish."

  Shroom rapped him on the arm. "Hey, what happened to all that brotherly love crap? Does that only work when you say it works?"

  Cash sighed. "When was the last time one of your homies cut you a pair of $800.00 sunglasses?"

  Shroom stuffed his hands in his pocket. "Uh,"

  Cash stepped past him. "See? I rest my case."

  Shroom. "Can't blame a Shroom for trying."

  Spaz cut in. "I hate to break up this male bonding party, but the man of the hour over there is sinking fast.

  They all watched as Bean's eyes droop and his grin slide sideways.

  Shroom leaned over the bed. "Uh huh, he's definitely high."

  Bean looked at Shroom through glassy eyes. "Yup." Man of the hour? He opened one eye. "Go team, go."

  Pone sighed. "I think I'd call him 'go team, gone'. Let's start without him. Like we said before, we are stronger as a team than alone."

  Cash snorted. "Work as a team. Hah! A couple months ago, no one wanted to breathe the same air as the other. Now, here we are, ready to have at it on Franklin B. Hunnicut, bazillionaire and murderer."

  Cash grabbed the pizza off the shelf. They all took a slice. Spaz turned to let Bean take a bite of hers. Bean stared ahead slack-jawed and she changed her mind. Cash grabbed the hospital paper and pen out of the drawer. "So what do we do first? What do we really have to go on? We have the first dead 'ho–um, sorry. Amy. We have a watch belonging to Frankie Hunnicut, the body at the greenhouse–"

  "Alleged body at the greenhouse. My dad told me the cops think maybe I, um, imagined it." Pone put down his soda and walked to the window. He stared out into the night.

  Bean came-to with a vengeance. "That is so much crap. I saw the girl too, remember? She was dead as a doornail, and she was wearing blue. I don't know what color her eyes were 'cuz she had none. I told the cops that. Why won't they listen?"

  Pone shrugged. He didn't turn around. "Don't know. Probably 'cuz we're juvenile felons. They do
n't have to listen. We're just two more loser kids to them."

  Pone turned and they were all surprised by the anger they saw on his face. Pone fisted his hands and walked to where the others huddled around the pizza. He plopped on Bean's bed. Bean bounced and smiled. Pone patted his good shoulder. "But we know the truth. That girl was there, and she was killed by a Hunnicut."

  "By Frankie Hunnicut."

  Pone nodded, stood, and started to pace. Shroom ducked low and snagged the last piece of pizza. Spaz picked off a mushroom on the way by. Shroom snatched it back and they all looked at him. He set the mushroom on the table and gave it a pat. "Back off. This is my brotha. Here. Take the pepperoni." They all grabbed at the slice. All that was left was a tiny piece of crust and the mushroom on the table. Shroom picked up the mushroom and gently placed it on the tiny crust. He put it in his mouth and smiled as he chewed. "Oh, bliss."

  Pone leaned close to Cash. "Oh, moron."

  Spaz shook her head. "Oh my God."

  Bean smiled. "Oh well."

  The door was shoved open. They said as one, "Oh no."

  Chapter 2

  Detective Michael (Big Mike) Williams stepped into the room. "Ahem. Oh yes. What, may I ask are you all doing here?"

  Cash flashed a big smile. "Uh, Bean was hungry, sir."

  Spaz stepped up next to him. "Bean-uh, Ryan was lonely."

  Shroom wiped the pizza sauce off his chin. "We uh, ah, er, damn. Just arrest me."

  Pone looked at Big Mike. "We're trying to figure out why the cops think Bean and I are lying about seeing that other girl at the greenhouse."

  Bean smiled crazily. His dilated eyes blinked slowly. "We were all about to hold hands and sing Kum-ba-Ya."

  Big Mike couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah. Right. Well, since I have you all here, let's go over what we will and will not be doing over the next few weeks."

  Pone hung his head. "All we got goin' is that dumbass flower show at the end of the week."

  Shroom moaned. "Girl flowers. Queen of the Hosta Fest. Spare me from little rich girls whose only goal in life is to wear a crown. They should have to spend one day in my neighborhood."