High School Lover

by Rose Croft

  I cleared my throat. “What are we doing?” I managed to say because this seemed like an invitation to finally cross over that fucking line we seemed to dance around. Every time I’d been around her, I’d wanted to demolish that line and make her mine. I’d hoped she felt the same way, and now she’d stated it explicitly in her work. I would never forget our kiss last summer. And, after all the time we’d spent together since, those feelings only intensified.

  She shook her head. Her voice cracked. “I don’t know.”

  Liar. “Yes, you do.”

  “I tried not to…” She paused and had a slight blush on her face. “I think about the kiss, that night at your house. Do you?”

  “Yes,” I responded, my heart stopping at her confession. Her nearness, her scent, and her words were driving my senses almost into a state of overstimulation.

  “I was thinking that we could…you know…try it again?”

  She just asked me that. “Hell, yeah!” my body shouted, but I tried to play it cool. “I guess, if that’s what you really want.”

  She leaned in, and I was already there as our mouths connected. I gripped her head. God, her mouth was exquisite. I wanted to explore every crevice. I tasted the chocolate on her lips. I wanted to taste, touch her everywhere, but I didn’t want to move too fast although my need for her was like a starved person who’d just been rewarded with food. We kissed until I thought one of us might pass out from lack of oxygen. I nudged her back on the bed. Lying over her, I moved my palms down to cup her breasts. “Is this okay?” I didn’t want to come across as Mr. Creepshow.

  “Yes,” she moaned into my mouth as I tweaked her nipples through her clothing. I felt the rush of her reaction to me. I wanted to bottle up her sounds, embed her striking face in my mind forever.

  I grabbed the hem of her top and dragged it up, but paused, waiting for her to tell me no. She didn’t. I was practically panting in anticipation as inch by inch of her smooth, tan skin was revealed. My eyes were stuck to the fuchsia lace bra she wore, and I kept my fingers over the material of her shirt that was bunched over her collarbone, again waiting for her to tell me what she was comfortable with. “Touch me again,” she whispered.

  Fuck! I was about to lose control as I stared at her tits, her nipples rock hard through the material. As much as I wanted to rip her bra off like a crazed person, I tried to rein myself in. This was Loren. My obsession. My best friend. This wasn’t a random girl who was coming on to me. This was the one. And, she wasn’t the type to jump into bed with a guy. She’d told me that kissing was as far as she went with Bryan. Even that pissed me off, but I pushed my stupid thought aside. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

  She splayed her fingers over my jaw. “Yes. You make me feel safe.” My hands shook as I ran my thumbs lightly over the thin material of her bra. “Like this?” I heard my voice from what seemed a distance because I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience.

  She closed her eyes and her breathing grew more erratic as I touched her body. I wanted to taste her nipples that stood at attention and I bent down and took one tip in my mouth. I rolled my tongue over the lacy material, and soon I’d shoved the bra up, exposing her rosy tips and nipped and sucked, drinking her in, savoring the taste of her skin. She wrapped her fingers in my hair, caressing me, and then guided me to her other nipple.

  My lips traveled up and over her skin. “God, you’re so sweet. So fucking sweet.” I kissed her neck as I dropped my hands to her waist.

  She released her hold and lay back on the bed, tugging the hem of my shirt and pushing it up as her palms skimmed over my stomach and chest. My body flexed involuntarily at her touch. I willingly helped pull off my shirt, throwing it down.

  Her hands went back to my chest, and she ran her hands across my skin. “You have a nice body,” she said in fascination as she ran her hands down my abs to the waist of my jeans. I stared at her in a sexual trance and thought my dick might fire off like a Roman candle at any moment. I carefully lowered myself on my forearms, and my mouth found hers. Her hands wrapped around my shoulders, and she slid her fingers down my back. I felt the scrape of her nails as her fingertips landed on the curve of my lower back.

  She tried to spread her legs but her miniskirt kept her legs trapped. She began squirming around clumsily as though trying to pull her skirt up. Holy shit, what were we doing? I mean, I knew what we were doing, but I hadn’t thought we’d go this far. I wasn’t complaining, just an observation. I zeroed in on her face, and she smiled shyly like she wanted to please me but didn’t know how.

  “We don’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.”

  She hooked her legs around me, pulling me tighter. “Just hold me, Andrew. I need to feel your arms around me. Feel you.” My groin was pressed against her between her legs. I wanted to grind against her, but I held myself in check. I was content with holding her in my arms. Actually, I wasn’t, but she brought her lips to mine, and I got lost in her again.

  Soon, our kisses grew frantic, desperate. We couldn’t get enough of each other. She ground her hips against me like she was trying to blend her body into mine. The closeness, the desperation was crazy good; it was fucking exquisite, and my body ground against hers as if I could never get close enough to her, either. The friction was growing unbearable and I felt a tingling in my balls, knowing that I was about to drop a load in my underwear. Shit that couldn’t happen. Like never. By now her breaths were shorter, raspier in my mouth, and her body pushed into me frantically.

  Then, she tensed and jerked against my crotch like she’d been electrocuted. Her nipples were so hard they pierced me in the chest. She gasped against my mouth. She came. Her face was flushed and her eyes were scrunched together as if in pain, but I think it was a good pain, judging by her reaction. Fuck, it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

  It took every ounce of willpower not to keep grinding against her to finish the job for myself. Instead, I held her, watching as she slowly opened her eyes. Her pupils were large and a smile lingered on her lips. “That was insane.”

  By now, words failed me as I tried to wrap my brain around what we did, still trying to convince myself that this was not some fantasy. She covered her mouth as though she realized what just happened too and seemed embarrassed. “Oh, my gosh. I’ve never done anything like this before.”

  “I’m sorry. Was it too much?” Of all the things I could say, I chose that? Yeah, it probably was, because we’d only kissed once in the past. But, I didn’t want her to have any regrets.

  “No. It was…nice.”

  I smiled, relieved she was admitting that, not trying to push away. “I’m probably crushing you.” I shifted over to my side, smoothing her hair.

  She pushed her bra into place, and adjusted her clothing and rolled onto her side, facing me.

  “Does this mean I’m your girl now?” She curled her hand over my shoulder as she raised her chocolatey brown eyes.

  “Yeah, you’ve always been my girl.” I leaned in, touching her lips, feeling like I’d unlocked the door to eternal happiness. I even pushed aside the fact that we’d have to sneak around to see each other. Maybe as time went on, her parents would come around. I mean, we were both eighteen now. They couldn’t lock her up in her room. Everything would work itself out in the end. Right?

  Eight Years Ago

  “Did you plan on writing today?” It was May, and Loren and I were lounging around in her room. I focused on the notebook lying beside her on the bed, trying to distract myself from taking her in my arms. She was stretched out, lying on her stomach, wearing a tank top and denim shorts that barely covered her pert round ass. But, when I glanced over, my mind went to porno town. For the past few months, we’d kissed until our lips were swollen, and dry-humped each other like crazy. We’d just started experimenting with third base, and I needed to get a grip.

  We’d been here for several hours, watching TV, talking and listening to music. Her parents had gone to
see her brother Doug play in a PGA golf tournament in Fort Worth, an hour and a half away. He was invited to play as an amateur, which was a big deal since he was a junior in high school, so they wouldn’t be home until later. Yeah, we were probably pushing it being at her parent’s house, but somehow that crazed danger brought us even more excitement. Kind of like a middle finger to her parents.

  “I don’t know. Maybe.” She rested her cheek on her folded arms. Why don’t you write something?” she suggested as she faced me with her cheek resting on her folded arms.

  “I can’t write poetry,” I said lamely, thinking the only thing I could write at this moment would be pornographic in nature. I was a horny teenage boy, so what?

  “Whatever, Andrew, you did it for class. Let me see what you can do. I’ll look it over for you.” She closed her eyes and had a half-smile on her face as she rested on the pillow beneath her chin.

  I dropped down beside her and took the notebook out. I flipped through the pages, shocked she hadn’t protested about my looking through it. She had usually led me to the pages she wanted me to read. I glanced down at her, and she still had her eyes closed, so I started reading her poems.

  I felt like I was reading her diary and I could see a progression from where she began. The poems were rough and some had a lot of immature language from when she was much younger. It didn’t matter. I still loved her work.

  I could tell when her writing developed and became more sophisticated. Some of the poems I’d already read. As my eyes passed through her personal journey, I was overwhelmed with emotion. I felt like this was the real Loren. I wanted to lie down beside her and wrap her in my arms.

  Until my eyes landed on a poem that was clearly about a near sexual assault. My blood boiled as I read the words. Jesus Christ, what the hell happened to you, Loren? Did Bryan do this to you? My curiosity was killing me, and I was about to lose my mind.

  “You’re awfully quiet, Andrew.” Her soft voice pierced the silence.

  “What is this?” I held up the notebook. “Who did this to you? Bryan?”

  “No,” she responded and rested her chin on her hands as she stared straight ahead at the wall.

  “Okay. Are you not going to elaborate?” I asked as calmly as I could. Not wanting to frighten her or have her think I was blaming her because that would never be.

  “I was in a situation that I shouldn’t have been in. My experience wasn’t like what I wrote. I was just really mad at the time.”

  “Then what the hell happened?” I was in a silent rage, feeling an all-encompassing urge to seek out who did this and annihilate him.

  “It was kind of like what happened with Amanda, but I wasn’t drunk,” she whispered and turned to me. I lay down beside her and stared into her eyes as she told me what happened that night at the graduation party last year. Of course, Steve would be involved. God, I wished I had been there to ruin him.

  “If I ever see Steve again, I might kill him,” I bit out. The thought of him even touching Loren made me want to rip him apart. “One day that sexual predator will land his ass in jail.” Of course, it bothered me to no end that Bryan had been her protector and not me. It was stupid to be upset over that; he had stopped Steve from possibly hurting her. After I heard this, Bryan didn’t seem like the asshole I thought he was, but I still couldn’t let it go that he’d dated Loren.

  After lying there and watching me quietly for several moments, she reached out and smoothed my hair back. “So, are you going to write anything or what?”

  “I don’t know, but for you I’ll try.” I sat up and grabbed a pencil that was lying beside the notebook. I flipped to a blank page and stared. Nothing. I absently stared at a picture of Loren on her bookshelf, tapping the pencil on my notebook. I closed my eyes and envisioned Loren, thinking of the way she made me feel, and the words flowed rapidly through my mind.

  Scout

  I know a girl

  Who quiets the anarchy in me

  With just a smile

  Who eradicates the feeling of nothingness

  With her words

  Who makes this skeptic a believer

  When I see hope in her eyes

  My sanctity

  My church

  My girl

  Mine.

  I felt the bed move as Loren sidled up next to me. “What did you write?”

  “Here.” I watched her as she read, nervous about her reaction. This must be how she felt when I read her first poem.

  She stared at the page for several minutes. I knew she’d finished. It wasn’t a long poem. “Oh, Andrew.” She traced the words with her finger just like she’d done with my drawing. I saw a tear drop on the page. “It’s…You never cease to amaze me. Is that how you really see me?”

  I reached around her and drew her in and kissed her temple as she sniffled. “Yeah.” I was touched that she was so moved by my words, but I didn’t want to make her cry. “After that poem you wrote about me, I felt like I had to step up my game.”

  She laughed, swiping her eyes. “That you did.” She nudged me. “You make me so jealous. It takes me hours to write one poem, and you did it in twenty minutes.”

  “That just means you take your time and put more thought into your work.”

  She sighed and leaned her head on my shoulder. “You’re the sweetest person in the world. I just wish my parents could see that.” We still snuck around like we were on a secret mission, and Loren said her parents would flip out if she even mentioned my name. We were also careful at school so word wouldn’t get back to her mother.

  “Maybe they’ll come around.” I wanted their approval. I wanted to shout it from a mountaintop so everyone would know that Loren was my girl. We’d talked about going to college together the next year, and by that time, I wouldn’t care who saw us together. We’d be out of this stupid judgmental town. We could start our lives together. I didn’t want Loren to have to choose between her parents and me, but if push came to shove, I would help her, take care of her.

  “Sometimes I hate them.” Her voice shook.

  “C’mere.” I pulled her into my lap. “Let’s not ruin this day.”

  She wrapped her hands around my neck and touched her forehead to mine. “I just wish we could be together without having to worry about what my stupid parents think.”

  “We will, Scout. It’ll happen.” Although I said the words, I didn’t fully believe them, but I’d never show uncertainty around Loren. I nudged her nose, and soon our lips were sealed together in another epic kiss that as usual left us breathless. She moaned into my mouth, wrapped her legs around my waist and ran her hands down the front of my shirt. I gripped her ass, which I’d been fantasizing about all day. She sighed and I felt her grind deeper under my hands.

  She ran her fingers up and down my erection. I groaned against her mouth and pulled her firmly against me. I’d been so hard all day that I was about to explode.

  I ran my lips down her neck, sucking, tasting…biting like someone gorging on a favorite meal. She gasped and threw her head back. “Why does it feel like this with you? Like I might die without your touch.”

  The desperation in her voice poured through me, hot, searing. I gripped her shirt and lifted it over her head, needing to feel her skin on mine. “Because we have a connection that runs deep, baby. Fuck, you’re so beautiful.” I had to stop myself from shredding her bra. It was a close call, but I managed to unhook it, and I jerked it off her like it was offending me.

  She seemed as eager as I was when she clawed at my tee. It was clumsy, and it took a few tries to pull it over my head. I knew I’d have a few scratches on my back, but I didn’t give a shit. I wanted to be marked by her. I thrived on this feeling as though we would perish if we didn’t touch. I wanted to meld her body into mine.

  I pushed her back, and she lifted her head and kissed my chest over my heart. It was just a peck, but it moved me like nothing else. “Loren…” I groaned. “God, Scout, what you make me feel...” I attacke
d her mouth and ground myself into her. Somehow the feelings, the moment, were more intense, more meaningful than anything I’d ever experienced before.

  I unbuttoned and unzipped her shorts without even thinking. I had no control of my actions. I’d touched her before, but it was in the dark without fully undressing and baring ourselves to each other. But, her hands, her hands, enveloped mine as she lifted up her hips, nudging her shorts down and slipping them off her feet. “I want you to see me, Andrew. No barriers.” She hooked her thumb into her cotton panties and slowly shimmied out of them.

  She gazed dreamily with so much trust in her eyes, as if I were her hero. I was about to take her away and marry this girl. I tried to keep my eyes trained on hers, but they wanted to see the forbidden secret that I’d touched but never seen. I’d touched her clit and made her come but that was all. However, now seeing her, naked, nearly took my damn breath away. She was perfection, just as I’d imagined. She was shaved with a little strip. I needed to touch her, overwhelmed that she trusted me so much. It was like reading her poetry, but so much more because she was exposing herself to me, completely.

  My fingers itched to be inside her. I ran my fingers over her slit, and cautiously inserted my finger inside of her. She was so wet and so tight. She jerked and exhaled.

  “Am I hurting you?”

  “No…it feels so good,” she panted.

  As she squirmed around on me, I put another finger inside. “Does this hurt?”

  She had her eyes closed and shook her head.

  I slid my fingers in and out of her slowly while my thumb massaged her clit. She was moving faster, getting wetter, and I knew she was about to go over the edge. I stared at her as I kept pulsing inside of her because nothing was hotter than seeing her lose herself over what I was doing.

  When she stiffened and cried out, I milked the orgasm out of her as she convulsed on my hand. I took one of her hard nipples in my mouth as she continued to vibrate against my fingers.