High School Lover

by Rose Croft

  “Yeah, I know. I kind of love you, too.”

  “You kind of do, or you do?” We were both grinning idiotically. This was a little joke between us.

  “I do. Now, do me.”

  “I can do that.”

  “Are you nervous?” Loren linked her arm over mine on the console between us. We were sitting in my car in her parents’ driveway. Her touch soothed me, but I couldn’t help but have ugly flashbacks to what had happened. Everything around me—the house, scenery, and even the fucking grackles that overcrowded a huge oak tree—seemed eerie. It was like someone took a still photo from the past, enlarged it, and stuck it in front of the house. I thrived on dark images, but this place had FUCKED ME UP and my memories had me locked into being in a shitty place to find happiness.

  So, fuck yeah, I was nervous. “I’m alright.” I tried to front because that’s what I did when I felt something that scared the shit out of me. Not that I was a pussy, I just didn’t want to reenact some crazy bullshit that happened in the past. I didn’t want to lose myself and fight her dad. I. Wouldn’t. Do. That. Shit. At least I told myself that.

  I stepped into her parents’ house gripping Loren’s hand like she might get sucked away if I let go. I was having insane thoughts that her father might lose it again and take a swing at me.

  He stood there, imposing, almost as tall as I. I knew the fucking legend about Trey Douglas in high school. He was like Aaron Rodgers, who could throw the miracle pass with less than ten seconds left. But this wasn’t high school.

  His eyes weren’t exactly friendly, more like rounded at me in unwarranted curiosity. He was cautious, but when his gaze shifted to Loren his eyes crinkled in warmth. “There’s my girl.” He enveloped Loren in his arms. It was obvious he cherished her, and that put me a little more at ease.

  My mind said, “Fuck it.” I went in for a handshake with a “How are you, sir?” Her father reciprocated. And, he added, “Glad you’re here.”

  Loren hugged her mother. When they released, she stuck her hand out. “It’s good to see you, Andrew.” I took her peace offering, thinking this was the weirdest experience of my life. Was I being punked?

  “Wow. You write movies? How exciting. You live in Austin? I love Austin. Oh, Loren tells me you’re writing a book? Wow! Just wow.” She was talking rapidly like she’d had one too many energy drinks, and we all just stood around and nodded. But, at least she wasn’t leering at me like I was Hannibal Lecter.

  Dinner was pleasant. The conversations were easy. Her parents were actually nice, normal—not the Frankenparents I’d always thought they were.

  After dessert, her father slapped me on the back. “Hey, let’s take a walk outside.”

  “Sure.” I stood up thinking this was the part where we were going to reenact a scene from Fight Club. I should at least kiss Loren first, and apologize in advance for kicking her dad’s ass. I followed him out to the backyard regardless.

  Trey sat down in one of the wrought iron chairs at an oversized patio table. “Sit.” He pointed to a chair in front of him. I sat.

  He cleared his throat and folded his hands on the table. “I’m sorry for what happened. Well, I’m not exactly sorry for that. You were in my daughter’s room, and you’d obviously…” He shook his head. “I mean, I misjudged you.”

  “No need to apologize. I understand.” I did understand. If I had a daughter and saw a guy getting dressed in her room, I would probably go ballistic, too. “I love Loren. I always have.”

  “I know.” He gripped my shoulder. “Just take care of her. That’s my baby girl.” This tough, intimidating man, who was rocking some Adidas sweats from twenty years ago, seemed as if he were about to cry.

  But, the sentiment was felt. “I will. I would lay down my life for her.”

  And, this was a new beginning.

  Six months later

  “I can’t believe you did this for me,” I said as I scanned the group of friends and family around us dining in the back room at Sol.

  “I would do anything for you, Scout.” Andrew leaned in and kissed my temple. “I’m so proud of you.” My book had been released and was one of the top sellers across genres in e-books. That not only shocked the hell out of me, it humbled me beyond belief. Andrew invited twenty of our closest friends and family out to Sol to celebrate.

  I was surprised by the support I’d received from our families. Granted, I told my mom I’d give her a “special edited cut” of the novel where I basically had to change the majority of the book because it would’ve been too risqué for her. And, revert back to using words like manhood, member, and loins and take out the ménage, anal, and…damn, I may as well write a new book. Dad was supportive, too—in a don’t-ask-don’t-tell way, which was fine with me.

  After desserts, Andrew stood up, pulling me with him. I gazed at him warily, since it appeared he was going to give a speech, and I wasn’t exactly one who liked all eyes on me. Andrew didn’t either, but he cleared his throat. And, I couldn’t express how meaningful it was to me that he would put himself out there, for me. “I want to thank everyone for coming and sharing in this special moment.” He looked down at me and the crazy adrenaline that always rushed through me when he pierced me with his beautifully exotic eyes was as new and exciting as it was years ago. “Loren, I’ve never been good at public speaking, so instead…”

  He turned behind him, bent over, and lifted a large box artfully wrapped, holding it out to me. “I wanted to show you how much I appreciate you with a gift because let’s be honest…you love receiving presents.”

  “True.” I smiled, wondering what the heck it could be. It was light. Unable to contain my excitement, I ripped off the paper and opened the packing box only to find another wrapped gift inside. I glanced up at Andrew, and he had his little secretive grin in place. I set the big box on my chair and pulled out the smaller one. I unwrapped that, only to find yet another wrapped box.

  I tilted my head up to him. His smile grew wider. “Keep going. I promise you’ll find a happy ending in there.”

  People chuckled. I did, too. Then I started to worry. I hoped to God it wasn’t a vibrator or something crazy like that. Surely not. I pressed on in my quest to reveal the gift.

  Finally, after opening eight more gorgeously decorated boxes, I was down to a tiny box suited for a ring. My hands wavered as I slowly peeled away the paper. Again, my eyes found his before I flipped open the box. His stare was intense, showing me all the love and desire he had for me. “Open it, Scout.”

  I nodded, and sniffled, inhaling shakily. My thumb pressed against the crease. I heard the pop of the top and stared…at a piece of yellow paper that had been folded over and over to fit inside. I paused. I felt Andrew’s finger swiping away the wetness on my cheek. “Read it.” His voice caressed my skin much like his touch. My emotions were short-circuiting.

  Regardless, I extracted the note, leaving the box on the table, and unfolded the paper.

  Scout,

  Not trying to sound too sappy, but I’m a writer…so fuck it. Here it goes. Long ago, I met a girl on the playground who had short hair, kicked my ass in soccer, and called me stupid. I think, even then, I was captivated by her. For the next several years, I watched her from the sidelines, secretly admiring this girl like a serial stalker, already calling her “my Scout.” In my mind, she always was.

  When we finally grew close in high school, I read her poems and fell in love with her words. Fell in love with her. (Again, I know I sound like a pussy, but my feelings are true, nonetheless.) I’ve sketched her, written a poem about her, even written a damn book about this beautiful girl. She’s my muse, my obsession—my everything.

  You’re my everything, Loren. I’m a private person for the most part. You know that. And, like you, I express myself better through words. But, I never wanted to hide the love I feel for you.

  Now…look at me.

  The tears were streaming down my face. I didn’t even give two thoughts that we had a cro
wd witnessing this. All I thought about right now was Andrew. I turned. He was down on one knee. I covered my mouth with my hands to keep from crying out, because I couldn’t tell you how many times I’d dreamt of this moment.

  Andrew’s throat bobbed, and I knew he was pondering his words, caught up in his emotions, too. “Loren, do you remember that day in high school when I said you were like a gift box within a box and I anticipated opening each one?”

  I nodded, still crying, but they were joyous tears. And my brave rebel, who never gave a shit about impressing people, was on his knee, in front of a crowd, displaying the love he had for me.

  “I’ve always loved how you never ceased to amaze me every day, and I have loved you ever since.” The ring he held in his unsteady hand flickered and glimmered at me. “Loren, will you marry me?”

  “Yes.” I could barely hear the sighs and gasps around me, much less my voice. I was overwhelmed by everything that was happening. Everything around me was blurred, looking like a kaleidoscope, like the crazy, misunderstood tattoo on his arm. The ground sucked me in as if there were some cosmic thing going on around us. It drew me down to my knees, because karma was a beautiful bitch. I knelt beside him, too, taking his gorgeous face between my palms. “I love you, Andrew. Forever.”

  It’s no secret that I’m obviously a huge Nine Inch Nails fan. I could honestly say I listened to almost every one of the band’s songs as I wrote. But, if I included all their music, the playlist would have been forty pages long. Anyway, the following list includes the songs that got me through the day and kept me inspired throughout Andrew and Loren’s journey.

  “Playground Love” by Air (with Gordon Tracks)

  “Play with Fire” by The Rolling Stones

  “Electric Feel” by MGMT

  “On a Plain” by Nirvana

  “Plainsong” by The Cure

  “Adam’s Song” by blink-182

  “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers

  “The Fragile” by Nine Inch Nails

  “The Ghost in You” by The Psychedelic Furs

  “Little Dark Age” by MGMT

  “Space Song” by Beach House

  “Think I’m in Love” by Beck

  “Fallen” by Sarah McLachlan (Gabriel & Dresden Anti-Gravity Mix)

  “We’re in This Together” by Nine Inch Nails

  “The Same Deep Water as You” by The Cure

  “Apocalypse Dreams” by Tame Impala

  “I Remember” by deadmau5 & Kaskade

  “Somersault” by Zero 7 & Yvonne John Lewis (featuring Sia)

  “There Is a Light That Never Goes Out” by The Smiths

  I want to thank my family for being so supportive and putting up with my nose being in the computer 24/7.

  Mom, you are truly my biggest fan and have always supported me even when I basically rewrote a Bugs Bunny cartoon, passing it off as a “great story” when I was seven. You also supported me when I wrote disturbing poetry in high school, and also when I wrote a historical romance fifteen years ago that still sits in the bottom of my dresser drawer. And, you’ve still been so supportive throughout this book and you’re still my number one. Believing in me when I didn’t. I love you!

  Thank you, Natasha Rose, my heart, for reading, loving, and encouraging me every day. You’re my angel and I’m so blessed to have you in my life. Hayden, thank you for reading and rereading my book and listening and making me feel legit. I love you.

  To my crazy, beautiful Colombiana Maria, who every single day made me do a live audio version of each chapter as we carpooled to and from work, I can’t thank you enough. It was a little embarrassing speaking in graphic detail about sex scenes to my straight-laced, Catholic friend, but thank you for being supportive. And, don’t kid yourself—you were all ears. You mean everything to me. And, now I think I should lend my voice to audiobooks.

  A huge thank you to Ashley. I don’t know how I lucked out and found you. Wait, yeah I do. You allowed a crazy stranger on FB (me) to send you her book, and you read it that night. And are now my number one beta. Thank you for being so supportive. Thank you to Amanda, Kesley, Dee and Julie for your help and encouragement.

  Thank you, Lauren Schmelz at Write Divas for a very, very thorough content edit. I learned so much. Thank you, Greg (Write Divas) for proofreading it. Your comments were so helpful and made me laugh.

  Thank you, thank you…thank you Bex Harper Designs for editing and proofreading my manuscript, and designing such a beautiful cover. Your help and talents are mind blowing, and I’m so grateful. You truly made me feel like Cinderella.

  A special thanks to Tami Norman at Integrity Formatting for making my manuscript shine like a crazy diamond. Much love.

  I especially want to give a heartfelt thank you to all of my friends who have been so supportive as I fumbled and stumbled around on this journey. I love you all.

  Thank you to all the bloggers, authors and readers who have been so encouraging and shown interest in my work. It makes me feel special and it’s an honor to be among such wonderful people. Totally inspiring. Besos/kisses for you all…

  Love and happy endings,

  Rose

  Wanna know more about John and Rose?

  Here’s a little teaser told from Andrew’s perspective.

  The Morning after John and Rose’s FaceTime Session

  I was leaning against my kitchen counter with my coffee when John strolled in yawning, his hair sticking up in places. “Can you make me one, big brother?” I discarded the old K-Cup from the Keurig, put a new one in, and slid a cup under the dispenser.

  “Rough night?” He looked a little worse for the wear.

  He smiled dreamily. “Nah, man, not at all.” He didn’t elaborate, which was unusual for him. He’d been acting weird all weekend. Opting to stay home the past few nights, which was rare. He kept going on and on about Loren’s “hot friend with big tits” and wondering why she hadn’t called him. He was stunned that maybe there was a girl who was immune to him. I knew that douchebag bullshit he pulled couldn’t work on every girl.

  I handed him his cup. “So what time is your flight?”

  “This evening. Did you see Loren last night?”

  “Yes.” I took a sip.

  “Did you tell her you had a huge special delivery with her name on it?”

  “Shut the fuck up, moron.”

  “Aw, someone is testy.”

  “Actually, I’m going to see her this morning, again.” We’d stayed up all night talking about anything and everything, which led to more cuddling…and then fucking. Loren complained that her lower body was going to need some R and R, and I convinced her to call in sick today. She did. “I’ll probably see Rose, too, because she spent the night.”

  His ears perked up on that bit of information. “I’m going with you.”

  “No, you’re not. This is a solo trip. Besides, don’t you think you need to let Rose know before you just show up?”

  His fingers moved across his phone. “I’m letting her know now.”

  He smiled at me as his phone signaled a minute later. I went over to place my cup in the sink.

  “Are you fucking kidding?” John yelled angrily, followed by a stream of cursing, and it appeared like he was about to throw his phone across the room.

  “Easy, John, you just got this phone. Remember how you broke your other one?” I reminded him as he tensely set his phone down. “Now, what happened?”

  “She texted back and said, ‘Don’t bother. Last night was a mistake. I was very drunk. Bye, Felicia!’ Can you believe that? And if she Bye, Felicias me one more time, I’m gonna go over there and shove her phone up her ass.” He shot death rays at his cell. I thought he might crush it to death. John rarely got angry over anything. Yeah, he threw temper tantrums when he played video games, but I’d never seen him lose his shit over a girl.

  “Did you go out and see her last night?” I asked, pretending I was clueless, so I would get the details from him. “I thoug
ht you stayed in.” Loren had told me about catching Rose and John doing some freaky teacher-student role-play.

  “No, she FaceTimed me, Andrew.” He eyed me like I was an idiot. I had to gnash my lips together to keep myself from cracking up. “We had some smoking hot….” He pulled on his hair and shook his head, dismissing his train of thought. “It doesn’t matter.” He sat mute for a few moments, and then looked around, puzzled, and rubbed his face in frustration. “I don’t understand it. I just feel so used.”

  I patted John on the back, actually feeling some sympathy for him. Rose had definitely gotten under his skin if he was acting like a teenager who’d been dumped by an impersonal breakup note. This was an interesting development…

  Coming soon…Baseball Lover

  Rose Croft is a wannabe poet and a writer in her own mind. She’s a wife and mom to a beautiful daughter and lives her own happily ever after. For updates on her books or if you just want to visit and chat about anything and everything, visit her at:

  Facebook—www.facebook.com/rose.croft.758

  Instagram—www.instagram.com/rosecroft.author

  Email—croftrose12@gmail.com