by T. Aleo
Thank God.
“What the hell? What’s wrong?”
Desperate, I grab on to him, shaking him a bit. “Cyrus, I need your help, and I need you not to question me.”
His eyes are locked with mine as he slowly but cautiously nods. “What?”
“I need you to distract Oceanus. Do not let him go down to the bastille. Please, this is life-or-death.”
His brows rise. “What, why?”
I throw my hands up, exasperated. “No questions!”
“No, tell me!”
“Ah, please, Cyrus,” I say desperately, my eyes filling with tears and my heart pounding so hard I almost can’t breathe. “I need you to do this for me. If you love and care for me, please do this, I promise, I’ll explain later.”
He doesn’t say anything for a moment, his eyes searching mine. But then he nods, and I cry out in relief. “Okay.”
“Thank you,” I cry, going to my tippy toes and kissing his cheek before I rush past him into the hall. I can feel his gaze on me as I throw the door open to the bastille and drop myself down the ladder faster than I ever have before. When my feet hit the floor with more force than I intended, I cringe from the pain in my ankle, but I’m moving before I can make sure I’m okay. Running down the hall, I feel my lungs burning and I can’t actually feel my fingers, but that doesn’t stop me from pushing the door open and then reaching for the lamp to light it with the lighter I’ve taken to keeping down here.
My hands are shaking so badly, I’m surprised I get the lighter to work as Ryland says, “Rebekah?”
“Yeah,” I answer quickly, taking the lamp and turning, just in time to watch him shift back into himself from Killian. “Ryland,” I say, and then I’m crying. Tears are rushing down my cheeks, my heart is breaking, and I don’t want to do this.
I don’t want to say good-bye.
“My love, what’s wrong?” he asks, his voice sharp and full of panic.
“I got the code,” I say, wiping my face as I stand in front of the box, opening it and punching in the numbers to my birthday. A green light flashes, and the bars start to move. Before they even open to where a normal person could get out, Ryland is through them. He pulls me hard into his arms, his mouth crashing into mine. The lamp falls to the ground with a loud crash, but I don’t care as my fingers thread into his hair, our mouths moving in the perfect dance I have been craving without the bars between us. He’s holding me so damn tight and it feels so right, but I can’t even enjoy it.
I have to stop this; he has to go.
Pulling back, I push into his shoulders and shake my head. “You have to go, Ryland. Now. Go.”
“What? No. Not yet, come here,” he says, trying to pull me back, but I stop him.
“No, we don’t have time. They’re coming for you. You have to go,” I urge as the tears fall in rivers. “We can’t get caught up. You have to go,” I cry, breathless as my heart breaks against my ribs.
“My love, don’t cry,” he whispers as he takes my face in his hands, running his thumbs along my tears. “Please, I can’t bear it. Smile for me, my love, please.”
I hiccup a sob as our eyes meet, his dark ones burning with such desire into my sad ones. But even as I feel my world coming to crashing, burning halt, my lips slowly curve. Just for him. “There it is,” he says, smiling, his white teeth gleaming in the dark. As his eyes blaze into mine, I can’t say the words. I can’t say good-bye. I won’t. He must feel my struggle because his lips drop to mine once more, and we are kissing again. He’s so hot, burning my skin, and I feel complete. Perfect. I craved this, needed it, but he has to go.
I want to see him again. One day.
“Go. Please, Ry, go,” I beg against his lips, my tears dripping off my chin, but he doesn’t move.
“Rebekah, come with—”
“I can’t. Not yet, but I will. I will find you.”
“But—”
“Please, Ry. I can’t keep saying no to you, but you have to go. Please,” I beg, my heart almost stopping in my chest. “I can’t let anyone die, please.”
He doesn’t move, and I can tell he doesn’t want to leave. I don’t want him to, but I won’t let him die. “Rebekah, I lo—”
I cover his lips, stopping his words as my tears fall fast along my cheeks, my eyes pleading with his. “Don’t say it, not now. I don’t want you to say the words until I can hear them every day of my life.”
Looking away, he draws in a deep breath and then nods. “But you know?”
I nod, my lips trembling. “I do.”
He looks desperate, and I know I mirror him as his jaw clenches. Swallowing hard, he asks, “I will see you again?”
“You will,” I vow. “Sooner rather than later. I promise.”
Before I know it, he’s moving once more, gathering me in his arms and kissing me with all the love in the world. I feel it in my bones, my blood; I feel it everywhere.
Ryland.
As my heart shatters, I pull away, knowing I am running out of time. I look at his lips one last time, and my eyes drift almost closed as I pat his chest, biting my lip to keep in the sob. “Let’s go. Can you shift to a guard?”
He nods, and then he isn’t Ryland anymore. He’s a short, older guard that I haven’t seen before.
“Crap,” he complains, holding up his wrist, and I can see his skin sizzling from the bracelet Oceanus said all the guards now must wear. He tries to pull it off, but it won’t move; it’s welded shut.
“Crap, Oceanus is making all the guards wear them. You have to go. Shift back so you don’t have to wear it anymore.”
“It doesn’t hurt,” he lies as he drops his hand. “Let’s go.”
And then we are moving. Rushing down the hall, I listen for any movement, but I don’t hear anything, thankfully. When we reach the ladder, I hear voices and I pause, holding Ryland back. It’s Cyrus and Oceanus, and I’m pretty sure they’re outside of the kitchen.
“Come on,” I say, and then I start climbing the ladder, him behind me.
“I like this view,” he says and I roll my eyes.
“Focus.”
“Oh, I am,” he teases, and I smile even though I want to curl up in a ball and cry. I’m going to miss him so damn much. So much, I don’t want to say good-bye. A part of me wants to say fuck it and go with him. But that wouldn’t be smart. Not even a little bit. I have to be smart here.
When I reach the top, I pop my head out. Not seeing anyone, I climb out, waving for Ryland to follow. When he is standing on the first floor, we lower the door and then I look back at him. “You’ve gotta go, and go far. Don’t come back for anything, you hear me?”
He hesitates, but then he nods. “Okay.”
“Okay,” I say, taking his hand in mine and squeezing it. “Please stay alive.”
He nods, and I can see the pain in his eyes. He doesn’t want to leave as much as I don’t want him to go, but he has to. Squeezing his hand once more, I smile. “Go.”
“I don’t want to.”
“I know,” I say, my voice breaking, but I keep the grin on my face. “But you have to.”
He sucks in a breath and nods. “Know that I’ll miss you every day, Bekka.”
“I know,” I whisper as I look away, and I don’t think I can take much more. I need him to go, but then he pulls me into his arms. Looking up to complain, I see that he isn’t the guard anymore, he’s himself. And while I’m so thankful for one last look at him with the light shining on his beautiful face, fear rattles my soul. “Ry, no, they can see you.”
“Then let them. I’m not kissing you as anyone but me,” he says roughly against my mouth before pressing his lips to mine. Melting against him, I feel tears leak out the sides of my eyes as I lose myself in his kiss. The warmth of his tongue, the burning of his lips, and the heat from his hands on my skin are almost too much to bear. He’s a powder keg, firing off like crazy, and I’m the idiot standing beside it, needing its heat.
“Dude, I don’t
know what to do, but we’ll take care of it,” I hear, and it’s Oceanus.
His voice is closer than it was before, and I pull away quickly, looking up at Ryland as he immediately shifts back. Swallowing hard, he cups my cheek, but he doesn’t say anything. He just holds my gaze a moment longer, and then he is turning, leaving. As I watch him disappear out the back door of the kitchen, just like that, I feel empty.
Alone.
Unable to stand, I slide down the wall, wrapping my arms around my legs as I cry into them. I can’t believe he’s gone, really gone, after I just got him back. While I told him I’d see him again, when will that be? With this contract, the formula, and the fact my eye is dying, what if I never see him again? As a sob escapes my lips, my heart is dead in my chest. I’m scared I just said good-bye forever. I didn’t get to say everything I wanted. I didn’t get to hear him tell me he loves me. I wouldn’t let him.
I’m such an idiot.
I just didn’t want to accept that it was good-bye.
I didn’t want him to be gone.
But now he is, and I’m unsure when I’ll see him again.
“I’m telling you, Osh, this is bullshit,” Cyrus yells and I get up quickly, going to the counter where a glass of OJ is sitting. I don’t know whose it is, but I need something to make it look like I’ve been here the whole time before I can escape to my room and just cry.
When the door pushes open behind me, I look back at my brothers and shake my head. “I’m not marrying anyone,” I say, tears welling up in my eyes. While they assume my tears are because my father wants me to marry someone I don’t know, they’re not.
They’re for Ryland.
When Oceanus comes to my side, he hugs me hard and kisses my temple. “I know, we’ll fix this.”
Cyrus comes around the table and nods. “Don’t worry, Rebekah.”
Hugging me tightly, Oceanus kisses me once more. “Why don’t you go get some rest?”
“Okay,” I say, exhaling hard as I wipe my face.
“Cyrus will walk with you,” he says and Cyrus nods.
“Yeah, come on, sister,” he says, coming around the table and wrapping an arm around me after Oceanus moves away. When my tears start to fall faster, I know it’s because Cyrus isn’t warm like Ryland is. His arms aren’t as big either. They don’t feel like home. Reaching for the OJ, I down it, hoping it was Cyrus’s as I watch Oceanus open the bastille and go down into it.
It’s about to be pure madness in this place, and I wish I cared even a little bit.
But I don’t.
All I care about is that Ryland is gone and safe, no matter how much it hurts.
“Ready? And thanks for drinking my OJ,” he teases and I smile.
“Sorry, but yeah, let’s go.”
Heading out of the kitchen, I lean into my brother as we walk, needing his support.
“I did what you asked,” Cyrus mutters as we leave the room, bringing my attention back to him. “Quite expertly, I might add.”
I chuckle, nodding my head. “And I thank you for it.”
“Are you going to tell me why?”
“I will soon,” I say as we start up the stairs.
“You didn’t do anything stupid, did you?”
“Define stupid,” I say, looking up at him as his lips curve.
But before he can say anything, an alarm starts blaring through the house. Lights flash, and we both stop. I’ve never heard this alarm before. It’s loud, and it sets my teeth on edge. I look to Cyrus, and his eyes are wide and full of disbelief. Before I can ask what is going on, a group of guards rushes past us, and Cyrus throws his hands up.
“You didn’t.”
“I didn’t what?”
“Release those guys from the bastille!”
I pause. “So that alarm is for an escapee, I guess?”
Cyrus is flabbergasted as he stares at me. “Yes.”
“Oh,” I say slowly, nodding my head. “But, no, I didn’t.”
His voice is dry as he says, “So the fact you told me to keep Oceanus busy, and now the alarm is going off because someone escaped, means you had nothing to do with it?”
I shrug. “Well, no, I had something to do with it, but I didn’t let the guys out. I just let one guy out.”
“Oh my God, Rebekah!”
“What?”
“Rebekah! Cyrus!”
We both turn as JJ comes running toward us. “Cyrus, your father is calling for you. Rebekah, let’s go.”
“What? Where? What’s going on?”
“We had someone escape the bastille,” he says frantically, grabbing my arm to lead me away.
“Who?” Cyrus asks, but JJ is pulling me away.
“Just go,” he calls to Cyrus as we head toward my room. “I am going to put you in your room, and you do not come out, do you understand me?”
“Why? What is going on?”
“Like I said, someone escaped the bastille, and we need to keep you safe.”
“Who? The guys wouldn’t hurt me,” I say just for show and also to see if he’ll admit to what’s going on. “They adore me.”
“Rebekah, don’t argue with me,” he says as we reach my hall.
There are three guards standing by my door, and as we approach, one says, “Windows are locked. It’s clear.”
“Thank you,” JJ says, pushing my door open and guiding me in. “Do not move until I say otherwise,” he demands, reaching for the door to close me in.
“This is ridiculous. They wouldn’t hurt me! You’re overreacting,” I yell, but he ignores me, slamming the door shut.
“Plus, the one you’re looking for is already gone,” I mutter sadly, my chest feeling as if it is caving in on itself.
“Eh, that’s not true, actually.”
Whipping around to the brogue I love more than anything, I find Ryland standing in my bathroom doorway, a grin on his beautiful face. He’s lounging there like it’s no big deal while my eyes are bulging out of my head and my once-broken heart is about to come out of my chest.
“Hiya, princess.”
Rushing to him, I throw my hands up, my body shaking with panic. “What in the hell are you doing? They’re looking for you!”
He shrugs, his hands running down my arms, and he laces his fingers with mine. “Ya really think I’d leave without saying a proper good-bye to you? ’Cause if ya did,” he says, moving his lips along mine, “yer crazy.”
This is not the time to swoon.
But damn it, I am.
“Ry, you have to go. They are legit looking for you, like right now. If they catch you, they’ll kill you,” I plead, though, inside, I’m elated. As much as I know he needs to go, I don’t want him to, and it pleases me to no end that he couldn’t walk away yet.
That he needed to say good-bye.
Though it’s dumb, it’s sweet.
“I don’t care. I can’t walk away not knowing when I’ll see ya next, without saying what I need to,” he says, his voice dropping as he wraps his hands behind my back, his body pressing into mine against the doorframe of my bathroom. As his lips graze along mine, my heart goes nuts and I hold his gaze. As much as I want to beg him never to leave me, I can’t do that to him. I need him to be safe.
I need to know that maybe one day I’ll see him again.
“Ry, please,” I beg. “I can’t let anything happen to you.”
“It won’t. And if it does, oh well, I don’t care because I can’t leave without saying what I need to,” he says, his voice almost in a whisper against my lips. “Ya gave me no time down there.”
“Because we have no time, Ry. Please, just go,” I urge, my eyes filling with tears. “They’re going to kill you.”
“I don’t care.”
“You should. They want to kill you and give me your eyes,” I yell finally, hoping he’ll see the severity of the situation. But he is stone-still, his gaze burning into my eyes. “And I won’t let that happen.”
“My eyes? I thought you were
okay?”
“No, my eye is messed up, but I’ll figure it out. I can’t let you get caught. You need to go, please. Say what you need to and go,” I beg, my fingers squeezing his as my lips graze his. “I need to know that you’re okay.”
“Then come with me,” he says, his eyes staring into mine. “I know you think you need to be immortal and all that, but you don’t, Bekka. Come with me. Let’s leave together, and I’ll protect you. I promise. I don’t want to live another moment without you.”
I’m already shaking my head before he finishes. “It would be a manhunt, and they’ll find us, Ryland, and then you’re dead. I can’t do that. I won’t do that. No, you need to go, get far away from here before they find you.”
“I don’t want to go without you,” he urges, his eyes hard as ice, yet so full of love. “I love you, Rebekah von Stein, so much. And I don’t want to be away from you any longer. These three years have been a killer. I’ve yearned for you every second. Please, come with me.”
My heart goes wild at his words. I want this. This undying love, but it’s pointless. So many factors will keep us apart, and I can’t risk his life. I won’t. “I love you, Ryland, I do, but—”
Before I can even finish, his mouth is on mine, his fingers threading into my hair as he presses his body into mine. His warmth sets me on fire as he lifts me off the ground, wrapping my legs around his waist and shutting the bathroom door. I’m lost in his kisses, the feel of his tongue against mine as I hear the door shut, and then the lock click before he presses me into it. I know what he intends to do.
And I’m not stopping him.
As much as he needs to go, I can’t stop him. I want him; I want him so badly I can’t stand it. I’ll make him leave later. One time, something to hold us over until we can see each other again, just a little something to grab on to. They’re busy searching for him anyway. They won’t come back in here, or at least, I hope they don’t. Because, for once, I’m going to do what I want.
And what I want is Ryland Kelley.
Reaching for my shirt, he pulls it over my head. For a split second, I’m self-conscious about the scars on my chest, the ridged lines and dark red coloring. But it’s as if he doesn’t see them as his lips trail along my neck and breasts. He unhooks my bra, and the cups fall off me and onto the floor as he slowly lowers me to the tile, running his tongue along the curve of my breast. He’s deliciously heavy, but I welcome it as he presses himself between my legs, the hard length of him against me, and I’m breathless.