by T. Aleo
Completely and utterly breathless.
“I’ve dreamed of this,” he whispers, his voice melting like butter over my burning hot body. Arching my back as his tongue goes down between my breasts and then over my stomach, I hold in my cries of pleasure as my body shakes for his. Lifting his mouth off me, he looks at me with eyes that are dark and full of lust. He pulls my shorts down and off my legs, throwing them over his shoulder before removing his own pants and returning between my thighs. I go to cover the scars on my legs, but his hands take mine, bringing them above my head before capturing my mouth with his for only a second as our hands squeeze together. Pressing his hard chest into mine, he moves into me, and my eyes slide shut as his body invades mine in a slow and tantalizing way.
His groans are harsh against my jaw as he pushes inside of me fully, and I can’t feel anything but his heat and the hardness of him inside of me. This isn’t my first time, but it feels like it. I feel perfect, speechless under his gaze, and I can’t take it. Tears rush to my eyes at how beautiful, how amazing he makes me feel, and I don’t even want to stop him.
Kissing down my jaw, he nibbles my ear as he says, “I love you, my sweet Bekka. I love you so much.”
“I love you,” I whisper as his face comes into view, his lips curving in that way I adore. Moving his nose along mine, he pulls out and then presses back into me, and I feel him everywhere. The tip of my head to the tips of my toes are completely engrossed in Ryland Kelley, and I don’t want it any other way. I want to spend all my days under his heated, loving gaze, I want to be enfolded in his warmth, I want to love Ryland for the rest of my life.
For the first time in my whole life, I feel alive.
I feel wanted.
I feel like my life is worth living.
And I don’t know how to live without that feeling.
I have it now, and I want to dig my nails into him and never let go. As his lips move against mine, his body rocking into me, I feel myself slowly letting go. And as I come undone, I cry out as my name falls off his lips and my body squeezes his. Pulling away, he starts to move faster into me, looking for his own release. When he finds it, I know I’ve never seen anything as beautiful as Ryland coming with my name leaving his lips.
My name is harsh but so full of love that I’m stunned silent as he collapses onto me, gasping for breath as I hold him. Closing my eyes, I nuzzle my face into his neck, taking in his musky scent. I don’t want him to leave.
But can I go with him?
I don’t think I can. I mean, what would happen? What if my family finds us and then kills Ryland? What if I go blind? What happens if his family finds us and kills me? There are too many what-ifs. Too much potential death, and that scares me. But can I stay here, completely unhappy, wanting to live?
And maybe forced to marry someone else?
Moving his face against mine, he pulls me from my inner struggles as he presses his nose to mine, a sweet little grin on his face. “I’ve wanted this for a really long time.”
“Me too,” I whisper, moving my finger along his jaw as his eyes meet mine.
“I don’t want to say good-bye, Bekka. I can’t. I won’t.”
“I don’t either, Ry, but so many things can happen if I go,” I remind him, but then I’m reminded of what could happen if I stay. While I’ll be immortal, I’ll also be forced to marry someone else, and the uncertainty of that situation is scary. Can I stop it? Will my brothers be able to? Do I want to try, or do I want to run with Ryland? Can we even get away?
“You’re thinking too much,” he reminds me, nipping the end of my nose before rolling off me and pulling me into his arms, his lips trailing across my forehead. “I will protect you. You know that, right?”
“I know.”
“Then what’s the issue? I can get us out of here, easy.”
“I don’t want you to be killed—or me. But if I stay, I don’t know what will happen. My father is trying to marry me off to some guy, and I refuse to marry someone I don’t love.”
His shoulders go taut as his eyes burn into mine. “Why in the hell would he force you to marry someone?”
“For a formula for my immortality.”
He pauses, nodding. “Well, that doesn’t work for me,” he says and I smile.
“I know, me either. But what do I do? Do I go and hope for the best? They can find us and kill you. Or your family can find me and kill me. Or I can stay here and be forced into something I don’t want. I don’t know what the right answer is.”
“The right answer is with me,” he says as our eyes meet. “Will they find us? I don’t know, but I can promise ya I don’t care. I’ll protect you and I will care for you, and above all, I’ll love you, Bekka. Trust me. Come with me.”
As our gazes stay locked, I know that if he leaves, I’ll be lost. I’ve been spoiled with the love only he can give me, and I honestly don’t think I can turn my back on that.
I don’t want to turn my back on that.
“Do you know where your formula is? Is it here?” he asks, and I open my eyes, meeting his gaze.
“Yes.”
“Will you feel better if we get the formula, inject it, and go?”
I scrunch up my face as I shake my head. “No, ’cause they can kill you.”
He scoffs. “It’s hard to kill me. I’ll be fine, I promise.”
I swallow hard because I think I’m about to agree to this. “I guess, why?”
“Then let’s go get the formula and get out of here.”
“We’ll be caught,” I cry out, shaking my head. “Everyone is searching for you.”
“No, I’ll shift to JJ or a guard or something. No one will question you with them.”
I pause. His plan could work, but can I just turn my back on my family and go? Well, not my whole family, but Oceanus and Cyrus. Can I just leave when they wanted to fight for me not to have to marry someone? They stood up to my father for me. Cyrus lied for me. How can I just go?
But wouldn’t they want me to be happy?
Because being with Ryland makes me happy.
“Let me ask you something. What do you want?”
I can only blink as I stare back at him. “I want you.”
“Then say yes. We can figure out the rest later, but say yes, and we’ll get the formula and go.”
I don’t say anything; I just stare at him as my breathing and heart start to pick up. Am I really going to do this? I don’t trust my father, and I know my brothers would want me to be happy. But they don’t have the power my father has. If he wants me married, I’ll be married, no matter what, and I can’t chance that.
Not when I love Ryland.
And deep down, I just don’t agree with my family’s lifestyle. I hate the pieces I have, I hate that people died for being something my father could not control or what he thought they should be. I hate the rules, the surgeries, the injections. I hate it all, but above all, I am not my father. I’m not power hungry, and I’m sure as hell not going to be used as a pawn for him to get ahead.
I can’t.
“Yes.”
Grinning big, Ryland goes to kiss me, but a hard knock on my bathroom door stops him, and my eyes go wide. “Rebekah, what are you doing?”
Shit.
Ryland’s eyes are calm as he slowly stands while I shoot up like I’ve been burned. “I’m changing.”
“Open the door,” JJ says, his voice hard and to the point.
“Just a second, I’m naked,” I say, throwing my clothes on as Ryland pulls his pants up, covering his deliciously naked body. But I can’t ogle him right now. Where am I going to hide him? The shower is glass, and hell, there is no window.
Crap!
“I said now, Rebekah.”
I look at Ryland, and he points to the spot behind the door. Thankfully, I get what he’s saying as I reach for the door, pulling it open to a very angry JJ. Giving him a blank look, though I feel my face burning, I ask, “What?”
“What are you doin
g?”
“I just finished a shower, changing now.”
He eyes me, looking behind me, and my heart kicks into overdrive. “Who’s in there?”
“What?” I ask incredulously while my body breaks out in a cold sweat. “What are you talking about?”
“Move,” he says, pushing me out of the way and out into my room.
I turn, going after him. “JJ—”
Before I can even finish my sentence, Ryland is behind JJ, and I hear a god-awful crack before JJ hits the ground, his head looking up at the ceiling while his body lies prone on the ground.
My jaw drops, my heart stops, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to puke.
“Oh, shit,” I gasp, and Ryland looks back at me.
“Your dad can fix him, don’t worry. Let’s go.”
“You snapped his neck! Turned it all the way around!”
“He was going to find me.”
“You didn’t have to snap his neck.”
“Can your dad fix him?”
“Yes. But still!”
Exasperated, he locks his gaze with mine. “Do you want to go with me?”
“Yes! Of course.”
“Then let’s go.”
But I don’t move.
Coming toward me, Ryland shifts into JJ with ease. When he steps out of the bathroom, he looks to me. “What?”
“You snapped his neck.”
“He saw me.”
“But you snapped his neck. Like crack,” I say, mimicking the noise that will haunt me for the rest of my life. Holding my hand up, I say, “I’m sorry, I need a moment.”
“You act as if I wanted to do that. I had to,” he says in desperation, and I nod. I know this. It’s just weird seeing JJ with his head twisted completely around and hearing his voice come from Ryland.
Going back and forth from unconscious JJ to Ryland as JJ, I shake my head. “I never said you wanted to do it, but crap, Ry. Can you not snap any more necks, kill, or hurt anyone else today? Please?”
He thinks that over and then nods. “I can’t promise, but I’ll try. If it’s you or them, it’s them.”
I shoot him a deadpan look. “No one will hurt me.”
“Okay, then we should be good,” he says matter-of-factly, and I’m flabbergasted. He’s so act now, think later, just like the rest of the shifters. He’s always been like that. I usually like it, except when he’s taking out people I care for. But he had no choice, I guess. It would have been a fight, no matter what.
Turning to pack some things, I don’t take much as Ryland watches me. Just some clothes and a little money I had in my drawer. When I glance at a picture of my brothers and me, I reach for it, my heart doing a little flip-flop as I exhale loudly. They’ve been my constant companions, but I can’t lose sight of the fact they would want me happy. They would want me to live the life I want. I wish I had a chance to say good-bye, but it would just make this harder.
I wonder when I’ll see them next, though.
Clearing my throat to try to dislodge the lump I feel there, I ask, “Where are we going?”
“Probably back to Edinburgh,” he says, coming up behind me and kissing the back of my head. “If you want.”
“Yeah,” I say, tucking the picture into my bag. “It’s just scary.”
I turn, and Ryland is looking back at me, towering over me as his hands come out to take mine, his rough, callused hands sliding against mine. Shaking my head, I smile as I say, “It’s weird, you shifting like that.”
“I think it’s awesome,” he says with a wink, and I can’t help but agree with him. “Ready?”
Am I ready? I haven’t set foot outside of my house in the last three years. I don’t even really know what it’s like out there, and I’m about to throw all caution to the wind and go with him. I’m freaking the hell out, but at the same time, I have to go. I need this.
I need Ryland.
“Yes.”
Within seconds, he’s back to JJ, reaching for my hand. “Let’s go.”
Sliding my backpack onto my shoulder, I take his hand. Holy shit, I’m doing this.
I’m running away with Ryland.
Reaching for the door, he pulls me through, and I ignore the looks from the guards as we head down the hall. Ryland walks with the confidence JJ has, and it’s spooky seeing him do so. He nods to the guards that pass us and acts like this is no big deal, like he’s known them his whole life. Me, I’m two seconds from curling up into a ball and freaking the hell out. I can’t believe I’m doing this, and I’m scared someone will know that JJ is really Ryland. I can hear the sizzling of his wrist, smell the burning flesh from the silver bracelet, but I guess the guards don’t. I’m unsure, but I keep moving.
We get through the house without seeing anyone of importance: my brothers, father, or Samuel. When my father’s lab comes into view, I run ahead, pushing the door open as Ryland enters behind me. Shutting it quietly, I look back to find Ryland looking back at me. “Ry, what if someone walks in?”
“I’ll shift back, don’t worry,” he says simply, but I don’t think this is that simple. I’m on edge, sick with worry that we’ll be caught. But Ryland, he’s as cool as a cucumber.
Ignoring my annoyance with that, I rush around the table to the fridge where I know my father keeps the formula. Opening it, I feel Ryland behind me as I search for the vial that contains it. Thankfully, I don’t have to look hard because it’s right up front with my name on it.
“Is that it?” he asks, and I nod as I pull it out, going to the other table.
“Yeah.”
Filling a syringe with the formula, I tap the needle, getting the air bubbles out. For a second, I’m thankful I have been through so much surgery and experimentation, and therefore, I know what I’m doing. “You know what you’re doing,” he comments, echoing what I’m thinking, and I nod.
“I watch my father,” I explain as I inject myself in the arm. Laying the needle down, I wait as a burning sensation runs through my arm before turning cold. Sucking in a breath, I feel my eyes blaze as the pain rushes through my chest, reaching my heart. This is it. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for. It has to work. My father was willing to marry me off for this formula, I have no doubt. The ache in my chest turns cold, then hot, but then, it just stops.
I don’t feel anything different, and I know I’m supposed to.
Maybe it will take some more time? Leaning into the table, I wait, giving it more time as people run outside the lab door, and I pray. I pray for it to work because it will be one last thing I don’t need to worry about when we’re running away. I’ll be immortal, and all I’ll need to worry about is Ryland. But still, I don’t feel anything.
Nothing.
“Shit, it didn’t work,” I say, tears burning my eyes.
“Are you sure?” he asks as I move away, going to the fridge for the healing agents my father has mixed.
Throwing them in my bag, I shrug. “I don’t know. I feel nothing different.”
“Why is that? Why isn’t it working?”
“I don’t know, neither does my father. No one knows, but this one was supposed to work,” I say as I start to cry, closing my backpack. When Ryland’s arms come around me, I cuddle into his embrace as I let out a sob.
“It’s okay, my love. We’ll be fine.”
“I didn’t want to worry about this. I only wanted to worry about you,” I cry into his chest, and his arms come tighter around my body. “What is wrong with me?”
“Nothing is wrong with you. You are perfect, and you don’t need to worry about a thing, Bekka. We’ll be fine, I promise,” he whispers against my temple, but I shake my head.
“You don’t know that.”
He doesn’t say anything, and as the silence stretches between us, the only sound I can hear is his heart, thudding against mine. Closing my eyes, I cry because I really wanted this to work. I needed this to work. But then, I’m also glad I know it didn’t. I’m glad I didn’t agree to marry some
guy for a formula that doesn’t even work on me. Knowing my father, though, he’d probably still make me marry him. For what, who knows, but I’m just so disappointed.
“Do you still want to go with me, Bekka?”
I open my eyes, tipping my head back to look at him. “Of course, I do.”
“Are you sure?” he asks, his eyes locked on mine and full of so much apprehension. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to.”
“I don’t. I want to,” I promise, and all I can feel is his heart thudding harder than ever against my chest. “I want to be with you.”
“Then let’s go.”
“Okay.”
But before we can move, I hear someone at the door, and I whip my head back just in time to watch it open. Frantic, I glance at Ryland just as he shifts back to JJ. When I look back, Oceanus is entering the room, his brows almost to his hairline as he takes in the sight of me standing in front of JJ, his hands holding my elbows in a very intimate position.
“Rebekah? I thought you were in your room,” he says as Ryland comes around me, tucking his hands in his pockets, in the perfect stance JJ always had.
“Figured it’s safer in here,” Ryland says, but Oceanus doesn’t agree or disagree, he just stares at what appears to be JJ.
“Oh?” he asks, and just like that, I know he knows Ryland isn’t JJ. “Rebekah, come here.”
I don’t move as JJ says, “What’s wrong, Osh?”
Oceanus’s eyes narrow as I say, “Everything is fine.”
“Get over here, Rebekah. Now.”
“No,” I say, and Oceanus looks back to me, his eyes wide.
“Rebekah, now.”
“No,” I say once more, stepping in front of JJ. “Let me explain.”
But he doesn’t give me the chance, pulling a gun out and holding it toward JJ. “Oceanus!”