Murder by Kindness

by Barbara Graham

  Bradley didn’t have enough good sense to remain standing, but plopped down on a visitor’s chair like he’d been invited to tea.

  “I was hoping that you would be J. B.’s replacement on the night shift when he retires.” Tony tossed a paper from the stack on his desk onto another one on the floor. Tony had initially been impressed by the young man’s resume. Bradley had graduated from the University of Tennessee. His degree was in chemistry, which seemed unusual for someone with an interest in law enforcement. Tony thought maybe Bradley would be better in a laboratory doing tests or maybe even working for the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation. Bradley was never going to be a good cop.

  “Is there a problem?” Bradley looked shocked.

  “Too many to count.” Tony knew in the past few weeks he’d suggested some changes he’d like to have seen. Suggestions Bradley had totally ignored. “But I find the longer I work with you, the less I think you are capable of handling this job.”

  Bradley Weems was slightly related to Flavio, one of their dispatchers. Flavio was a hard worker, who always had been a hard worker and who had greatly improved his abilities on the job. Although Bradley grew up in a neighboring county, it didn’t take him long to find his way around Park County. Nothing negative had shown up in his background check. He was hired with their standard six-month probation. Now, only two months into his trial period, Tony was going to fire him.

  Bradley looked real good in the chocolate brown shirt and khaki pants, which comprised the uniform of Park County’s sheriff department. He was not tall, or at least not exceptionally so. He was about five-ten, well-built, and had attractive features and glossy auburn hair that only accentuated his deep green eyes. He looked like he could be a relative of Theo’s best friend, Nina. It didn’t take any time at all for the women of Park County to notice him. Although not as handsome as Wade, Bradley was very available, and he was taking advantage of the situation. It didn’t take long before word reached Tony. Gossip in Silersville ran through avid listeners like water from an overflowing rain barrel. Tony didn’t need a deputy who was in the center of a gossip firestorm.

  “Stand up, Weems.” Tony frowned. He didn’t like having to do this. “There’s no easy way to say this, but Park County doesn’t need your services.”

  “Sir?” Bradley’s normally smiling face turned serious. “I don’t understand.”

  “It’s simple. I don’t want any of my deputies being the center of gossip or a love triangle.” Tony held out his hand for the badge. “Frankly, I don’t think you are cut out for law enforcement.”

  Weems stood motionless. After a few moments of silence he bobbed his head up and down and said, “I have to admit I really just wanted the uniform. Girls really like it, but the job’s an awful lot of work and it cuts into my social life.” He unfastened the badge and handed it to Tony.

  Tony dropped the badge into a small drawer. “Then we are both agreed. I hope you find what you’re looking for.” As long as Bradley took his dream elsewhere, everything would be fine.

  “Stand up and shut up!” A woman Theo had never seen before stomped into the quilt shop’s workroom. She was almost as short as Theo and had a deep booming voice. Magenta hair stood straight out from her scalp in big, heavily glued spikes, exposing snow-white roots.

  Without intending to, Theo rose to her feet. Several of the other ladies joined her. Theo managed to suppress the impulse to curtsey.

  “As you were,” Magenta Hair bellowed.

  The women sat, except Theo. “I’m Theo Abernathy. Welcome to my shop.”

  “Excellent.” The stranger waved an unseen wand of some nature, but Theo wasn’t sure if she was blessing them or turning them into frogs. “I hope my staff informed you of my impending visit.”

  Theo wasn’t sure if the woman was supposed to be royalty, a fairy godmother or merely an antique beauty queen. “Actually, no. Won’t you introduce yourself?”

  “I can’t do that.” The woman’s eyes widened in apparent shock, and she looked from face to face.

  Theo noticed the left eye was clouded with a cataract large enough to be seen across the room. Theo thought the visitor seemed taken aback by her request to say who she was. “Because?” Theo wondered if the woman even knew her name.

  Clearly affronted, the magenta-haired woman stared at her. She seemed perturbed, not puzzled. “The herald ought to have announced me. It is, after all, his job.”

  Theo thought her accent sounded faintly like Katti Marmot’s. Maybe she was Russian, too.

  “Where’s the butterfly net?” Softly spoken, the words carried nonetheless. It might have been Eunice who spoke.

  “How do they manage to find you, Theo?” Caro’s voice held a hint of laughter, and her wide smile shoved all of her wrinkles closer together. “Some mystical force field?”

  Theo had actually been wondering the same thing. Recently, she had talked to the other shop owners on Main Street, and none of them admitted to having a high proportion of nut cases as regular visitors. But Theo was pleased by this visitor, if for no other reason than Caro was smiling. After a long siege with Alzheimer’s disease, her husband had died a few weeks earlier, and Caro was still coming to terms with this final loss. As if the woman hadn’t suffered enough, now Caro was having balance issues. Theo was willing to deal with her goofy visitor if it would cheer up her friend.

  “Everyone feels welcome in your place.” Eloise from the souvenir and T-shirt shop had once told Theo. “Maybe because you let them wander about, assisted but not pushed to buy anything, and you give them coffee. For free.”

  The last comment had been a jab. Eloise sold gourmet coffee at her shop and several times had mentioned, in a not particularly friendly manner, that she didn’t appreciate Theo giving coffee away. It was bad for her business.

  Theo knew what she served wasn’t great coffee, and it was good for her business. She decided to try again to learn more from the magenta-haired woman. “Is someone looking for you?” Even to Theo’s ears, this was an ambiguous statement; what she had really wanted to ask was if the woman had escaped from her keeper.

  “I can’t imagine what became of my herald.” The older woman studied the room. She didn’t seem actually perturbed about the missing person.

  “Won’t you at least tell us your name?” Caro asked.

  “I am the Grand Duchess Anna.” It sounded like “Ah-nah,” the way she pronounced it. Then she tipped her head at a regal angle, giving Theo and the other women somewhat disparaging looks as she moved her gaze from face to face. She frowned as if to express her continued surprise that everyone did not immediately recognize her.

  The episode was starting to annoy Theo. She felt like she was reasonably easy to get along with, but she’d already had enough entertainment. Since Christmas, there had been at least three elaborate hoaxes or practical jokes played on her. She couldn’t imagine anyone other than her husband and Wade wanting to do such a thing. Stepping away from the Grand Duchess, Theo dialed her husband’s cell phone. When he picked up, she didn’t give him a chance to say anything. “Was it you or Wade who decided to send the Grand Duchess into my shop?”

  “The what?” Tony sounded confused.

  Theo wasn’t impressed by Tony’s ignorant act. “You heard me just fine. Was it you or Wade who thought of the Grand Duchess?”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Tony’s voice reeked with sincerity, but it wasn’t enough to convince her of his innocence.

  “Anna, I presume short for Anastasia,” Theo snapped. “You must know her. The Grand Duchess, as she likes to be called, showed up in my shop. She’s a rather genteel loony.” Theo massaged the back of her neck. “You must know her.”

  “A grand duchess?” Tony sounded impressed. “What country is she from?”

  “I have no idea. How many countries have women with that title? But I do think, if you are truly not involved in this, we need to put a fence around the county. How are they getting in?”
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br />   “If she’s Russian, maybe you could call Katti. She could translate.” He paused. “Do you think she’s dangerous?”

  “No, not really dangerous. If she’s not an actress, she is very convincing and really believes she is a Grand Duchess, and her English is better than mine, so no matter where she’s from or thinks she’s from, I don’t think we need to bother Katti. The last I knew, the baby was sick and the Grand Duchess says she is waiting for her herald.”

  “Who is Harold?”

  Theo didn’t feel like getting into the whole scenario. It was already starting to sound like a vaudeville act. “I’ll explain it later. Please just come and talk to her.”

  She felt like she had barely disconnected the phone call when Tony arrived. Wade, grinning like a fool, was with him. The deputy’s happy expression triggered deep irritation mixed with suspicion. Theo frowned at him. Walking near him she hissed, “No more pranks.”

  Wade’s expression instantly turned serious. “I swear, Theo, I had nothing to do with this.”

  Theo studied his handsome face and decided he was telling her the truth. “She’s not hurting anything.” She wasn’t quite sure why she called for backup. She did know she was more interested to see whether her husband and/or Wade was involved with this woman’s arrival than she was in having them ask her to leave.

  The Grand Duchess Anna turned and smiled at the two men. “Courtiers, I presume?”

  “My husband, the sheriff, and one of his deputies.” Theo watched for any sign of recognition. There was none.

  Tony whispered in her ear, “The Grand Duchess has purple hair.”

  “It’s magenta,” Theo corrected automatically.

  Wade looked from one to the other. “Is there a difference?”

  Theo nodded and Tony shook his head.

  Wade suddenly excused himself, stepping away from the others, and listened to something on his radio. “Ah, it seems the Grand Duchess’s entourage is awaiting her at the Law Enforcement Center. The call made it sound like we can leave her here, but it would be appreciated if we would go have a chat with them.”

  “Is one of them Harold?” Theo wondered if Anastasia was married.

  Following Wade from the building, Tony whispered just before he left, just loudly enough for Theo to hear, “I think you’re right.”

  Confused, Theo stared at him. “About what?”

  “We do need a fence around the county.”

  “Sheriff?” A medium sized man with close-cropped silver hair waited in the visitors’ area of the Law Enforcement Center. He wore a black suit with a white shirt and black tie. His sunglasses were pushed up onto his head. “I’m Richards. The Grand Duchess likes to call me her bodyguard. I’m really the chauffeur. My wife attends to her personal needs.”

  Tony’s quick assessment of the man made him believe the Grand Duchess. If Richards was not a bodyguard, he was doing a bang-up job of imitating one. “I’ve met your employer.”

  “I’m glad to hear that.” Richards’s expression held curiosity and concern. “She slipped away while I was putting gas in the car. Is she all right?”

  “We were told we could leave her where we found her. She seems to be happy over at the quilt shop, chatting with some other ladies.” Tony glanced into the public parking lot and stared. A vintage black Rolls Royce gleamed in the sunlight, its highly polished chrome almost blinding him. “Holy smoke! What a car!”

  Pure joy illuminated the older man’s face. “I love my job. I’d do it for free just to get to drive that old baby around. The car, not the Grand Duchess, although she is actually quite sweet.”

  “And is that her actual title?”

  “Absolutely.” Richards pulled a card case from his suit-jacket pocket and handed a card to Tony. Embossed with a golden crown, the full name of the Grand Duchess took up two full lines. “She’s the last of her family. They came over in the nineteen thirties, and she was the youngest of six daughters. Unfortunately, she has outlived all of her sisters.”

  “And the car?”

  “Yep, they brought it along with them.”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Theo heard an explosion. It had to be very loud for her to be able to hear it over the screams of the twins. The little girls were still teething, and not taking it in stride. Theo stuck her fingers in her ears as she hurried to her office window.

  The window overlooked the main street of Silersville’s small downtown area. She glanced down from her second-story view, half expecting there to be a hole blasted in the pavement, but the street below looked fine. Lifting her gaze to the nearest mountains, she couldn’t help admiring their beauty. Snow gleamed on the higher elevations and the sky was a vivid blue, cloudless, without smog or even their customary “smoky” haze.

  A plume of smoke rose into the sky.

  Mere moments later, she heard the whine of sirens and saw the fire trucks belonging to their volunteer fire department headed out of Silersville, toward the smoke. The ambulance fell in line right behind it. As the vehicles made their way around the first curve, Theo saw Tony’s Blazer join them. Following all the emergency vehicles, a veritable parade of local vehicles, cars and trucks, headed out of town.

  Theo knew the curious citizens listening to the radio irritated Tony and the fire department, especially when the sightseers managed to arrive first at the scene.

  It didn’t take Tony long to make the short drive. Even so, by the time he arrived the fire was almost extinguished. He was happy it hadn’t had a chance to spread. He wasn’t happy about the source of the fire.

  The culprit appeared to be Mr. Mayhew’s still. A small shed smoldered in the woods maybe one hundred yards from the Mayhew house. It was easy enough to see inside the still. Tony focused on the copper kettle and the tubing. Knowing the answer before he asked Mayhew the question he said, “Are you licensed?”

  Mr. Mayhew mumbled something Tony couldn’t understand, but the answer was no. Tears welled in the old man’s eyes. Tony wasn’t sure what to do. He knew the law, but old man Mayhew had been making moonshine probably longer than Orvan Lundy. Tony also knew the old man never sold it. He drank it himself, or gave it to his relatives.

  “What happened, Mayhew?”

  Looking stunned, Mayhew blinked a couple of times and began, “Dunno, Sheriff.” Before Tony could open his mouth, Mayhew continued. “Nothing about this batch was different. I cooked the mash same as always, and I made sure everything was all closed up good. Like always. It’s important.”

  Tony had never made moonshine. He had seen a lot of stills, and most of them seemed to have looser construction than this one. Clean and tidy, at least by what they could tell by the un-burnt bits. There seemed to be no reason for the fire.

  Fire Chief Wendell Cox displayed the same puzzlement. “I’ve never seen a still explode like that.” He mumbled just loudly enough for Tony to hear, “But I’ve seen some of them burn pretty hot.”

  Tony led Chief Cox farther away from the fire site. “Since it doesn’t look like a normal—if there is such a thing—fire in a still, what do you think happened?”

  “Arson. My first and best guess is someone doused the area with an accelerant like gasoline or charcoal lighter fluid and dropped a match on it. Smell’s off for moonshine.” The chief stared at the burnt-out shed. “Just off-the-cuff, the only motive I can think of for someone to torch a still is something personal. You know, like revenge or trying to put someone out of business. Maybe even some wacko militant teetotaler or a business rival.”

  Tony said, “Mayhew claims, and I’ve never heard anything to dispute this, that what he cooks stays with him and his family.”

  “Yeah,” drawled the chief. “There are several small stills providing the homeowners with homemade alcohol. None of them are big enough to put a knot in anyone’s knickers.”

  “I’ll let you get on with your investigation.” Tony moved closer to the burnt-out still. Fire investigation was not his strong suit, but he couldn’t see obvious si
gns of foul play. What possible motive could be causing the rash of raids on stills and moonshine storage? Even more curious was how someone knew the locations of various stills and stashes. This one was invisible from the road.

  The fire department was almost finished mopping up after May-hew’s fire when the next call came in. A citizen had spotted another fire burning in a different location, up on the Farquhar property. It was not even in the same general area. The firefighters all headed toward it.

  Falling in line behind the engines, Tony was not expecting a good outcome. Angus Farquhar had a long and unpleasant and absolutely adversarial relationship with his department. The last Tony had heard, the man’s sons were all off doing time at the penitentiary. Only luck, or possible coercion, had kept the patriarch from experiencing the same environment. It wouldn’t shock Tony to learn Angus had framed one of his sons to take the fall for him.

  Not unexpectedly, the fire department received an exceptionally unfriendly welcome from Angus Farquhar and his shotgun.

  Tony climbed from his Blazer, serving as the escort for the volunteers. He made sure he stood to his full, and considerable, height and adopted a hard-as-nails attitude. He was not taking any static from this man. “Put the gun down, Angus.”

  “Go home.”

  “Are you going to extinguish that fire?” Interrupting the power play, the fire chief pointed to the blaze. It was visible from the road; no need to go onto Farquhar land to see it.

  “Maybe.” Angus narrowed his little piggy eyes. “I ain’t impressed by your little red truck.”

  Tony turned to the chief and spoke softly. “It’s Angus’s property. As long as he doesn’t let the fire travel off of his land, do you have the right to go on?”

  “Why wouldn’t he want the fire extinguished?”

  Tony thought it was an excellent question. “Maybe he’s trying to cover another crime?”