Murder by Kindness

by Barbara Graham

  This time Sheila laughed. Ignoring the ladle she still held, Sheila bent forward, wrapping her arms around his neck, and kissed Cupid. In his kneeling position, he was shorter than she was and she held him in place. Pink punch dripped from the ladle onto his back, narrowly missing the wings.

  Theo looked up at Tony, who had appeared like magic next to her. “I guess that means yes.”

  Tony’s voice was low and almost mournful. “I hope that’s all it means.”

  “Why, what’s wrong?” Theo was shocked by his lack of enthusiasm. She’d always understood he liked the man and thought he would approve of the relationship.

  Tony released a heavy sigh. “What if he decides to move away from Park County? She’d go with him.”

  Unable to suppress it, Theo burst into laughter. She was thankful the stomach flu had been of short duration because she would hate to miss this moment. “So, it’s really all about you?”

  “You got it.” Tony winked at her. “Who do you think put him up to the Cupid costume?”

  “Tell me. How did you get him to wear a Cupid costume?” Theo also wanted to know where it came from.

  “I merely suggested to him, if he proposed in a public spot, Sheila wouldn’t be able to say no. Plus, there would be all kinds of witnesses to back him up when she said yes.”

  “That wouldn’t stop her from saying no at a later time.” Theo knew it was not her business, but she couldn’t help being concerned.

  The mischief in his eyes was replaced with a serious expression. “I never would have suggested it if I thought there was any possibility it wasn’t what she wanted. Well, the proposal; maybe not the tiny little wings.”

  Theo studied the Cupid as he slipped a ring on Sheila’s finger and received another kiss. “Well, personally, I think the tiny little wings are very fetching. Where did he get the costume?”

  “We got Mrs. Fairchild, the retired home economics teacher, to help make it.” Tony grinned. “We didn’t ask you, mostly because you have no time. Plus, we weren’t sure you wouldn’t, however inadvertently, give it away.”

  Theo wasn’t sure whether she ought to be offended or applaud him for his clear thinking. “I think it’s a lovely costume. And you’re right. I didn’t have the time.” She gave her husband a quick kiss and got in line to congratulate the newly engaged couple. She had to admit she was curious about the ring. There had been no flash of light, as from a diamond, when it was revealed.

  Sheila was more than happy to show it off and explained the ring had been custom-made to Cupid’s specifications. Rather than having the stone sit above the band, it was embedded into the metal band so it would not snag anything or make putting on the gloves she often wore while working a difficult process. The stone, as it turned out, came from his grandmother’s ring. Somehow the jeweler had managed to retain the sparkle and fire of the diamond, even in the unusual setting.

  When Theo stepped forward to give Sheila a quick hug, Sheila whispered, “How could I refuse to marry a man who would wear a toga and gossamer wings into a room filled with my friends and neighbors and co-workers, many of whom have guns on them? He’s certainly got guts.”

  “His shoulders aren’t bad, either.” Nina had joined them in time to hear most of the conversation.

  Theo looked behind Nina and noticed a very thoughtful expression on Doctor Looks-So-Good’s face. It made her wonder if the man was looking for ideas for his own proposal. “I personally think the wings make the whole ensemble work.”

  “They are pretty cute.” Sheila’s smile was radiant, but she sighed. “I guess I’ll never know about the leprechaun costume.”

  Tony was delighted to see Roscoe and the professor standing near the punch bowl. Because Sheila had vanished, along with the ladle, the professor stepped behind the table and began serving the frothy, and decidedly pink, punch with a teacup.

  “Sheriff? We need your help.” The professor smiled and offered him a cup of punch.

  “How can I help you?” Tony accepted it. He was always struck, in a very pleasant way, by what a fascinating couple they were. It would be hard to come up with a less likely scenario than a college professor married to the man who still held the county record for the most years in the fourth grade.

  “It’s about Baby.”

  Tony hadn’t seen the young black bear for several months. “Is she hibernating?”

  The professor nodded. “She didn’t sleep much last winter, so I expect she’ll be waking up soon. Our winters are not very long here.”

  Roscoe’s head bobbed, an echo of his wife’s movement, but his expression could only be described as intense.

  Since the bear wasn’t a pet and lived outdoors in the woods, Tony was curious. “Is that a problem?”

  Roscoe’s head bobbed again like a dashboard ornament, and the professor took over the conversation. “What we need, or would really like, would be for you to check on her from time to time while we are out of town.”

  Surprised to hear they were going away, Tony felt his eyebrows rise, and wondered himself why he thought they should not leave. “Sure. When are you leaving?”

  Roscoe grinned widely, exposing his new dental work. “We’re driving down to Florida to watch some of the spring-training games. We thought we might go down a little early and look around a bit. You know, sightseeing. Visit the ocean and whatnot.”

  Baseball, Tony knew, was one of the activities the couple shared a passion for. Roscoe himself was an umpire, but not in the major leagues. “Just let me know before you leave and I’ll drop by from time to time. What exactly am I supposed to do?”

  The professor said, “If she’s stirring, or wandering about, make sure she has water. You can just fill the bowl next to the old tree stump. She usually checks it for grubs. Maybe you can put some fresh berries near it for her. She loves strawberries.”

  The professor’s expression and detailed list reminded him of Theo issuing instructions about their children if she was going to be gone. The list always included what they could eat and what they were allowed to do. Half of him was irritated by Theo doing it, as if she thought he wasn’t smart enough to know how to care for them, and the other half of him was relieved to know exactly what the plan was. Besides, if it went awry, it wouldn’t be his fault. “And if she decides to leave?”

  “She’s not a prisoner. She’s not a pet. We’ve never kept her caged or tethered in any way. If she wants to leave, she can. We would just like to know where she goes.” Tears welled in the professor’s eyes.

  Roscoe snuffled a bit. “Mostly, I guess, jest make sure she ain’t makin’ herself a nuisance somewheres. You know, so she don’t get herself shot.”

  For everyone’s sake, Tony found himself hoping the couple would return before Baby awakened. “I’ll check on her.”

  Theo watched as Claude Marmot, trash collector and recycling guru, carried his baby girl through the crowd like she was a little princess, bringing her to greet Theo. Predictably, the ruffled dress and diaper cover were both in shades of pink. Katti, his wife, trotted along next to the pair, her hands busy tightening the rose-colored scarf holding back her own hair. She was laughing.

  In a moment of madness, Theo had once asked Katti what it was in Claude Marmot’s online resume and courtship that had hooked the cheery Russian woman. Theo was sure the young woman must have had several offers. While her features were simply average, her attitude about life was delightful. Theo remembered Katti had the sweetest smile on her face when she said, “He looked nice.”

  Claude did have beautiful hair and pleasant features whenever he bothered to get cleaned up, which was not often. Before Katti entered his life, he had shaved only intermittently and his favorite T-shirts often failed to reach as far as his belt. He was as furry as a bear. At this event, he wore clean blue jeans and an extra-long shirt. Pink.

  “He said he didn’t care much about colors and pink was fine with him.” Katti had chattered on. “And he said he didn’t need a housekeeper
but he wanted someone he could hear breathing near him in the dark. He was lonely.”

  Unexpectedly, Theo had felt the sting of tears. She had given her friend a quick hug. And now neither of them was lonely, and their tiny daughter kept them laughing.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Tony had been called over to the jail side of the building to check on a, thankfully, minor problem. He was on his way back to his office when Rex contacted him. “Sheriff, Wade says he’s located Daniel Crisp’s wife Nancy1, and she’s not alone.”

  “Where is she, or where are they?” Tony was elated. Maybe they could finally get some answers that made sense about what happened at Nina’s and why Daniel’s dead body was found in the storm shelter.

  “Evidently all of the wives we know about are having lunch together at the Riverview.” Rex’s normal professional, unflappable voice rose a bit. “Can you imagine what they have to say to each other?”

  “No.” Tony was determined to find out who discovered Daniel’s marriage addiction. “Have Wade keep them together. I’ll be there in minutes.”

  When he arrived at the Riverview, he peeked into the dining room and he studied the five women at the table. Nancy1 was definitely the strongest personality, even if she wasn’t the strongest physically. Tony would give the muscle title to nurse Nikki.

  When Tony asked Nancy1 to join him and Wade, she politely declined. “I’ve got no secrets from my, um, co-wives, or whatever they are.”

  “All right.” Tony sincerely hoped he wasn’t making a mega mistake. “Tell me how Daniel died.”

  “I wanted to surprise him, you know, make the traveling man less lonesome. He always sounded kind of lost when he was away, sleeping in motels.” Nancy1 even managed a slight blush. “I borrowed my brother’s old Buick and followed him. He never saw me. I did lie to you, though. I brought my dog, Precious, along because I expected to be staying with him.”

  A series of expressions raced across her face. Tony decided anger was the main one. “What happened?”

  “He stopped in Dalton, Georgia. At her house.” She pointed to Nannette. “And then the next night, he was in Cleveland. With her.” She indicated Nora. “I was mad enough to run over him, but he never saw me. It was terrible.” Her eyes overflowed. “He broke my heart.”

  Tony felt positive the tears were real. He felt sorry for all of the women Daniel Crisp had misled. “Did you go home?”

  Nancy1 shook her head. “I slept in the car and just kept following him on and on. I couldn’t believe what he was doing. He stopped in Knoxville and Maryville and stayed with women in both places. When he headed south, I hurried to get home before he did.”

  “Were you angry?” It was a stupid question and Tony knew it.

  “You better believe it. I wanted to wring his scrawny neck. But I didn’t.” The smudged mascara on her cheek didn’t hide her anger. “No wonder he couldn’t afford to buy me a nice ring.”

  “So what did you do?” Tony felt as though he were listening to a radio soap opera. A glance at Wade’s face showed the same dazed and glazed expression he guessed was on his own face. Who does things like this?

  “I fixed his favorite dinner.” Nancy1 smiled through her tears. The light of triumph gleamed in her eyes.

  “What did you add to it?” He doubted she had poisoned Daniel.

  “I have these pills for my back and I just added a couple to his beer. I wanted him to be quiet.” She winked. “It worked great. He slept like a baby all night long.”

  Tony wasn’t shocked. In fact, he rather admired her technique since the man came to no harm from it. “And then?”

  “The moment he passed out, I got into his cell phone and found a bunch of numbers he called a lot, and I started calling them.”

  “That had to be very interesting.” As understatements went, Tony was rather proud of it. “What did you learn?”

  “Oh, I learned how hard he works, traveling and all, and how he tries to be a good husband even though he travels. I heard several versions of the same damn story.” Her lips had a bitter twist by the time she finished. “Jerk.”

  “And then?” Wade leaned forward like he was watching a championship basketball game. His eyes traveled from wife to wife.

  “I guess you don’t think any of us are very smart.” Nancy1 gestured to include all of the women at the table. “It didn’t require no rocket scientist to guess where he’d be the other day. He is good with his kids, all of ’em. So, we thought we’d throw him a little surprise party.”

  “And did you?” Tony wondered if Daniel had mentioned that his children were going to be away. What was the man’s agenda?

  Nancy1 laughed heartily. “Oh, yeah. I dropped him off at the house and went back to town to bring the others up.”

  Tony looked around the table. Every one of the five women smiled cheerfully back at him. He saw nothing in any of the faces that indicated any guilt.

  Nancy1 continued her role as spokeswoman. “We carpooled up to the ex-wife’s house and when we made the turn, there he stood on the front porch looking down into this big hole, holding the lid. When he looked up and saw all of us together, he about peed in his pants.”

  The smiles widened on the wives’ faces. They nodded their agreement with their spokeswoman’s description.

  “When we stopped and started climbing out of the two cars, he flipped around so fast he was a blur. I mean it. It looked just like somethin’ in the cartoons. Then he kinda moved his arms, like this.” She demonstrated outstretched arms rotating, making circles.

  Tony could see it in his head. Nancy1 could certainly tell a good story. “And then?”

  “He fell backwards into that hole. When he didn’t climb out, we all went and looked at him down in that pit. I’m telling you, he shoulda been on fire.”

  “Was he dead?” Tony thought they were getting to the crucial moment.

  “Oh, yeah.” She giggled. “We had Nikki check. She’s a nurse, you know, and she said he was gone.”

  “So you all just got in the cars and left him there?” Wade blinked like he was coming out of a trance.

  “Oh, yeah.” Her smile held neither malice nor concern. “A little present for his ex-wife.”

  Tony knew there was little or nothing he could charge any of them with. Certainly nothing in the autopsy indicated he’d been attacked. “So, why did you all come back here today? Just to meet for lunch?”

  “Money,” Nikki whispered. “As it turns out, he wasn’t worth much, personally or monetarily, but I was cleaning out the stuff he left at my house and found an insurance policy, payable to me. The amount’s not much, but still I need a copy of the death certificate to file a claim.”

  “And you suggested the others check for similar windfalls?”

  “Yes. We are all part of the same weird family and while we’re all here, we thought we’d have lunch. The bad news is we all thought he was special and that he loved us.” Her expression suggested she now thought he was closer to being something nasty stuck to the bottom of her shoe. “The good news is, since it turns out none of us is actually a widow, none of us is on the hook for paying for a funeral.”

  As a good news/bad news situation, Tony found it grounded in reality and practicality. It made Tony wonder, though, who would eventually pay for a funeral—or if Daniel Crisp would actually have a funeral. If there were one, its expense would most likely fall to his parents. His personal vote, if he had one, might be scattering the ashes on a burning campfire.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  Tony happened to be in the dispatch center chatting with Rex when Mrs. Dixon called 9-1-1. The veterinarian’s wife spoke clearly and calmly. “My little group of dog trainers and I want to report a possible fire. We’re up on the hill just past the old cemetery. There’s a plume of smoke coming out of the woods to our east, and I know there are only a few houses in there.”

  Rex proceeded in his normal manner, competently getting the information they needed without any sense
of melodrama. “Does the fire seem contained?” Rex’s question was for Mrs. Dixon.

  “What would that look like?”

  “A single plume maybe? Like smoke being funneled up a chimney.” Rex was typing as he spoke. He’d already alerted the volunteer firemen to head to the fire station. “Trash burning in a barrel?

  “Not exactly. It doesn’t seem to be growing very quickly, anyway, and nothing like fire engulfing anything or leaping from tree to tree. What is really more bothersome is we saw someone running away from it.” Mrs. Dixon was not overwrought, just thoughtfully reporting what she saw.

  “Arson?” Rex was actually talking to Tony. Mrs. Dixon overheard.

  “Probably.” Tony and Mrs. Dixon spoke at the same time.

  Tony identified himself.

  Mrs. Dixon sounded amused when she said, “I thought I had an echo.”

  “Can you stay there until we arrive? The fire engine will be heading out in less than a minute.”

  At the same time Tony started talking to Mrs. Dixon, Rex had called the first responders for the fire department. From Rex’s window, Tony saw volunteers leaping from their vehicles and running into the fire hall.

  “Oh, sure.” Mrs. Dixon sounded very calm. “We might make our way over a little closer to the fire just to keep an eye on it, in case it starts getting worse.”

  Tony was torn between thanking her and asking her not to get involved. The thanks won. By the time he disconnected, the roar of the fire engine and the blare of the siren could be heard, faintly, in the dispatch center. He hurried out of the building.

  Wade’s vehicle was ahead of Tony’s Blazer as they headed out of town, sirens blaring, and up the hill. Tony watched carefully for any signs the fire was growing, as well as any sign of someone running away.

  As she had said he would, Tony found Mrs. Dixon and her group, past the cemetery and heading toward the plume of smoke. Wade went past them, then pulled off the road and parked on the shoulder. Tony parked right next to Wade. They climbed out of their vehicles and watched the dog parade.