Fighter (Outsider Series)

by Micalea Smeltzer

  “Uhmm,” I shuffled my feet. “You all already know that Logan saved my life. I watched him… I watched him die and I will never, ever,” I shook my head, “be able to get that image out of my head. As much as I want to curl in a ball and never open up again, I can’t do that. Logan risked his life so that I would have mine. I can’t just shut down like I want to, because then his sacrifice would have been meaningless. Not too long ago, we both went through similar things and became close because of that, and I can honestly say, if the situation had been reversed, I would’ve risked my life in a heartbeat. I’m so sorry that he’s not here with us, but just like Grant said, Logan died a hero. One day, Chris will be telling her kids about Uncle Logan, how he was a hero, and I can assure you, I’ll tell my kids the same thing.”

  I took my seat beside Caeden and dissolved into tears again. Would they ever run out?

  An hour or so later, everyone that wanted to say something had, and it was time to leave.

  Emily and Grant came over to us. Grant patted Caeden on his back and said, “That was a wonderful speech from both of you. Thank you.”

  “No thanks needed,” Caeden replied.

  Gathering up my courage I reached out and hugged Emily. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered in her ear.

  Pulling away, she held me at arms’ length and looked me in the eye. “Don’t be sorry. This wasn’t your fault.”

  My lower lip trembled.

  “Don’t be sorry,” she repeated with a sad smiled before they both moved on to other people.

  “Home?” Caeden turned to me.

  “Yep,” I sighed. I wanted to climb in the bed and never come out again.

  “Let me go find Nolan, first. You can go ahead and get in the car,” he handed me the Jeep’s keys.

  “Thanks,” I said and pushed open the church doors.

  I had just buckled my seatbelt when Nolan and Caeden emerged from the church.

  “We’ll stop and get something to eat before we go home,” Caeden informed me.

  I knew the reason for the food stop wasn’t actually for him or Nolan. I had barely eaten in the past few days and he hoped a public environment would force me to eat.

  “There’s nowhere to stop between here and home,” I mumbled.

  “We’ll just have to go out of the way then,” Caeden said.

  * * *

  “Really, Caeden?” I snapped, as I slid into the booth. “The Cheesecake Factory? This is like forty minutes from the house, on top of the drive from the church.”

  “Calm yourself,” He said as he slid in across from me.

  Nolan took the seat next to Caeden. He was probably afraid to be near my wrath.

  “You act as if we don’t have food at home,” I picked the menu up off the table.

  “Soph,” Caeden eyed me over the top of his own menu, “you need to get out. I know once we get home, you’re just going to crawl into the bed.”

  “What’s wrong with that?” I snapped.

  Caeden slapped his menu down on the table and anger flashed in his baby blue eyes. “You have to stop hiding, Sophie. It wasn’t your fault. Crying and lying in bed all day does not justify Logan losing his life. You need to live.”

  Tears pooled in my eyes and I brought my menu up to cover my face.

  Caeden was right. I was hiding like some sissy. I couldn’t shut down. I had Caeden, the pack, and myself to think about. I could still mourn Logan; I just needed to do it in a healthier way.

  I could start by actually eating something.

  A waiter came by and took our drink order. I requested an order of nachos. My stomach was already rumbling at the thought of them.

  Caeden flashed me a small smile.

  “I’m trying,” I whispered.

  “Thank you,” he said.

  The waiter came back with our drinks and I slurped down my water.

  “What can I get you to eat?” he pulled out his pen and paper.

  Caeden motioned for me to go first.

  “The club with fries, please,” I closed the menu and handed it to him.

  “And for you two?”

  “The classic burger with fries,” Nolan said.

  “And I’ll have the BBQ pulled pork sandwich with Cole Slaw.”

  “I’ll put this is and be right back with your nachos.”

  As soon as he was a safe distance away, I eyed the men across from me. “My nachos. Don’t even think about taking any. You can get your own.”

  Nolan turned to Caeden. “Cay-berry, you’re gonna let your wife talk to you like that?”

  Caeden chuckled. “Oh Nolan, you have so much to learn about women,” he patted him on the back.

  Nolan rolled his eyes. “Trust me, I know all I need to know.”

  “And that’s why your single,” Caeden snickered.

  “Dude,” Nolan punched Caeden’s shoulder. “Not nice.”

  The waiter came back with the giant plates of nachos.

  Nolan went to grab a chip and I slapped his hand. “Mine,” I held up a warning finger. “Do not mess with a hungry she-wolf. I’ll bite you.”

  He held his hands up in surrender.

  * * *

  Since the mall was right next to the restaurant, we walked over after we ate.

  In the first store we walked into, I found a cool pair of tennis shoes, and a couple of shirts. Caeden found some sunglasses and a watch. Nolan, well… he just stood broodily in the corner.

  I was in the men’s section, looking for something for Caeden’s upcoming birthday when I found a white shirt with a drawing of a tiger on it. It even had green eyes similar to Nolan’s shade.

  I looked over my shoulder, making sure he wasn’t hovering anywhere, and picked up the shirt. It wasn’t much but I hoped he’d like it. Nolan needed something to cheer him up.

  I found a nice leather wallet that I thought Caeden would like, so I added it to my pile of items.

  There was a display of jeans and I sifted through them. They were super soft and I knew Caeden would love them so I grabbed a couple of pairs before moving on.

  I flipped through the racks of new arrivals and practically everything screamed Caeden to me. I finally narrowed it down to an orange Henley t-shirt, a white t-shirt with a bike graphic, a light gray hoodie that I knew would look absolutely delish on him, and a navy shawl collar sweater.

  I dumped the items on the checkout counter and the girl looked at me like I was insane. Maybe I was.

  She rang up the items and I handed her my credit card. I took the bags from her and went in search of Caeden and Nolan.

  I finally found them, hanging out in the coffee shop just outside the store.

  “Find everything you needed?” Caeden asked as I plopped in the chair beside him.

  “Yep,” I replied.

  “Anywhere else you want to go?” He asked, sticking his hands in his pockets.

  “I don’t think so,” I said.

  “Well, I want to go to Dippin Dots,” Caeden grinned.

  I rolled my eyes. “We just ate cheesecake an hour ago and you’re already wanting Dippin’ Dots?”

  “Babe, I’m insatiable.”

  “In more ways than one,” I muttered under my breath.

  He chuckled. “Come on, it’ll be delicious.”

  “Alright, alright,” I grumbled. “I’ll follow you because I have no idea where it is.”

  The Dippin’ Dots turned out to be the size of a very small, very tight closet. There was no way I was going to go in there with all my bags.

  “Just get me whatever. I don’t care,” I told Caeden. “I’ll be here,” I pointed to a vacant bench.

  “Okay.”

  With a sigh, I collapsed onto the bench and dropped my bags, careful to make sure Caeden wouldn’t be able to peer down inside them.

  He and Nolan appeared a few minutes later.

  “I used handy dandy shifter abilities and picked this one out for you,” he winked as he handed me a cup.

  I took a bite.
“Mmm, banana split,” I moaned in pleasure. “What’d you get?”

  “Rocky Road.”

  I looked at the color explosion in Nolan’s cup. “I’m not sure I even want to know what flavor yours is.”

  “Tropical tie dye,” he grinned.

  “Eeewww,” I wrinkled my nose.

  “It’s delicious,” he held up a colorful spoonful. “Want a bite?”

  “I’ll stick with this, thanks.” I took another bite. “This is surprisingly good.”

  “I knew you’d like it,” Caeden grinned.

  “Thank you for doing this… getting me out. It’s helped.”

  “Sometimes, you just need a little push and I’m here to do that,” Caeden said, bumping my shoulder with his.

  “I’m sorry I’ve been so… closed off and mopey. But with Logan being gone, and Travis still being alive… it’s been more than I can cope with.”

  “I know, babe.”

  “Thank you for being so understanding and thank you for just being you,” I said.

  “I’ll always be here for you. Through the good and the bad times,” Caeden said.

  “Bleck,” Nolan pretend-gagged. “You guys are disgusting.”

  “You sound like Bryce,” Caeden chuckled.

  “Yeah well, my poor heart can only handle so much lovey-dovey-ness.”

  “You’re so weird,” Caeden shook his head. “Don’t you think it’s time you settled down?”

  “Nuh-huh,” Nolan muttered around a mouthful of dippin’ dots. “I do not need to be tied down.”

  “It might be good for you,” said Caeden.

  “Never. Gonna. Happen. And I’m definitely never going to be spewing all this romantic shit that’s always falling out of your mouth.”

  “We’ll see,” Caeden grinned. “We will see,” he repeated.

  twenty-nine.

  I wanted to do something special for Caeden’s birthday. Last year, I hadn’t moved here yet, so we weren’t even together. Now that we’re married, and with everything that’s happened, I think we all need something to cheer us up.

  “What kind of cake do you want?” I asked him.

  “Chocolate,” he answered immediately.

  “I should’ve known. Do you want it to say anything special?”

  “Besides, Happy Birthday Caeden, you’re one lucky bastard? Nah, I don’t think so.”

  I hit his thigh. “You’re ridiculous. And I know you were fishing around for your presents. I swear, you’re too nosy for your own good.”

  “Yeah, well, you already wrapped them, so I still don’t know what they are,” he huffed.

  “Do you want Gram to make your cake?”

  “Of course, no one makes a better cake than Lucinda. I still have dreams about our wedding cake,” Caeden licked his lips.

  “That was yummy,” I said.

  “Mhmm,” he patted his stomach. “On second thought, I want red velvet instead of chocolate.”

  I scratched out where I had written chocolate on my piece of notepaper and added red velvet.

  “I just want you to keep things simple,” Caeden said. “Don’t get my mom involved or she’ll have this place decked out like it’s a club.”

  “Gotcha, I can keep it simple,” I smiled at him.

  A whining noise came from below us, causing Caeden to peer over the edge of the bed. He turned to me and grinned, his dimple flashing. “I think Archie wants up on the bed.”

  I sighed. “No, Archie, you can lay on your cushion with Murphy.”

  Archie whined again and I heard his paw bat against our comforter.

  “Awww, babe, look at his little face.” Caeden reached down and picked the little dog up off the floor and cradled him in his arms.

  “Oh God, I think I just got an idea of what our future will look like. Me, saying no to the kids, while behind my back, you will say yes.”

  Caeden laughed deep in his throat. “Yep, that sounds about right. I’ll be good cop and you’ll be bad cop.”

  “Figures,” I muttered. “I didn’t want to start letting Archie up on the bed because I don’t think it’s fair to Murphy.” I pointed to the horse-sized dog stretched out on a dog cushion that looked more like a twin size mattress.

  “Murphy’s fine,” Caeden said, “he’s used to sleeping on the floor.” He scratched Archie behind the ears. “But not this little fellow.”

  “You’re impossible,” I went back to my list and party planning.

  * * *

  I stood in the middle of Party City with Chris and Charlotte, contemplating what to get for Caeden’s party.

  “Ugh! Everything’s for kids!” I flicked a Happy Birthday banner with Justin Bieber on it. “Don’t they have anything a little more… manly.”

  Chris pointed to a section of Star Wars birthday supplies. “There’s that.”

  “I don’t think so,” I made a face.

  “Hey! I think I found some stuff over here,” Charlotte yelled from a few rows over.

  I picked up a package of plates that said Happy Birthday in different colored letters. With a sigh, I said, “I guess this is as good as it’s going to get.”

  “Looks like it,” Chris affirmed.

  “Go get me a shopping cart,” I grumbled to Chris.

  She laughed and flipped her blond hair over her shoulder. “I’ll be right back.”

  When she shoved the car in front of me, I dumped in several packs of plates, plastic forks, cups, and a tablecloth. A pack of mini bubbles caught my eye and I grabbed several of those.

  I tossed in two packs of blue and white cake candles.

  I turned to the girls. “That’s it for this kind of stuff. I just need to place an order for balloons and a banner.”

  I steered the buggy over to the counter and rang the bell for assistance.

  “What can I get for ya today?” The teenage guy behind the counter asked.

  “I need nineteen blue balloons-that shade right there-” I pointed to a cerulean color that reminded me of Caeden’s eyes. “And one of those foil balloons. Oh! I also want a banner that says Happy Birthday Caeden.”

  “Do you want these now or do you want to pick them up at another time?” The guy asked.

  “I’ll pick them up tomorrow morning just after you guys open,” I said.

  “Okay,” he wrote something down on a piece of paper. “And how do you spell, Caeden?”

  “C-A-E-D-E-N.”

  “Thanks,” he murmured, flicking a piece of hair out of his eye. “We’ll have this ready for you tomorrow.”

  “Thank you so much,” I smiled brightly.

  “I can check you out down there,” he motioned to the registers and then the shopping cart.

  Charlotte and Chris followed along behind me. I handed over the stuff and the guy scanned and bagged it.

  I handed him the cash and he dropped the receipt in the bag.

  “Have a nice day,” he winked before handing me the bags.

  In the parking lot, Chris dissolved into a fit of giggles. “Oh my God! That guy has a serious crush on you.”

  “He did not,” I opened the trunk of my Honda Pilot. “Married, remember?” I held up my left hand.

  Chris wiped tears from her eyes. “I don’t think that mattered to him.”

  “Eeeewww,” I shuddered. “He was more than likely checking one of you out,” I looked between Chris and Charlotte before I slid into the drivers’ seat.

  “Nope,” Chris said. “It was you. He must have a thing for brunettes.”

  “I’m going to hit you,” I warned her.

  “No, you won’t,” Chris smirked.

  “Wanna bet?” I challenged.

  She eyed me. “Uh, maybe not.”

  “Good answer,” I laughed. “Want to get something to eat while we’re here?” I motioned to the various restaurants surrounding us.

  “I’m starving,” Charlotte said from the back.

  I pulled into the parking lot of the Texas Roadhouse.

  “Is
this place okay with you guys?”

  “Hell yeah,” Chris said, already out of the car.

  Luckily, the place wasn’t super busy and we got seated right away.

  I immediately dig into the rolls.

  “Geez girl, slow down,” Chris laughed.

  “Sorry,” I swallowed, “I didn’t realize I was so hungry.”

  “Just… slow down a bit,” Charlotte giggled. “People might start staring.”

  I lowered the roll and dropped it onto the plate. I grabbed up the menu and decided not to eat any more rolls until I ordered my food.

  The waitress came to get our drink order we went ahead and ordered our food. I got a salmon meal, Charlotte got steak, and Chris ordered ribs. I was really looking forward to Chris looking like a mess.

  It was really nice being out with the girls. It had been far too long. I resolved to have more ‘girl’ days with them. I needed to get out of the house more often.

  “So,” Chris nibbled delicately on her BBQ slathered rib, “what did you get Caeden for his birthday?”

  “Just clothes and some odds and ends things.”

  “That’s it?” Chris raised a brow.

  “Well, there’s something else…” I said.

  “What is it?” Chris practically shrieked.

  “It’s a surprise,” I grinned.

  “Tell me! You have to tell me!” Her eyes practically bugged out of her head as she begged.

  I laughed. “No way. You’ll find out what it is tomorrow, just like everyone else.”

  “Fun sucker,” Chris mumbled under her breath.

  I laughed. “I just want it to be a surprise.”

  “At least tell me, you indulged yourself in some sexy lingerie for the birthday boy,” Chris smiled.

  I sputtered and nearly spat out my water. “I think I have plenty of that, thanks to you.”

  “Yes you do,” she waggled her eyebrows. “Have you tried out the crotch-less panties?”

  “Oh my God!” I slapped my hands over my ears. “I can’t believe you just said that in the middle of a restaurant!” I hissed.

  Chris laughed and looked me straight in the eye. “Crotch. Less. Panties. See, I said it again,” she smirked.

  I looked to Charlotte for help, but she was too busy giggling.

  “I am never going anywhere with you ever again!” There went the notion of more ‘girl’ days. My poor heart wouldn’t be able to handle any more of Christian.