by Harloe Rae
Xander follows my lead without any fight, and reclines his long body out next to me. He stretches his bulging arms above his head, which causes his ridiculously sexy abs to flex. I let an embarrassing loud moan escape because . . .
Dang, he’s so freaking hot.
He’s already hard as a steel pipe, his erection pointing directly toward those slabs of muscle on his torso. The swollen tip is leaking that makes my stomach grumble like I’m suddenly starving. I gladly climb astride his broad hips and align our most sacred regions. I wrap my fingers around his glorious shaft and slowly sink down until he’s sheathed within me completely. I’m so freaking soaked that it hardly takes any effort, and the instant pleasure is so intense, my spread thighs quiver as my entire being sighs in bliss. My pussy weeps in desire, which eases the sting of being stretched so wide, but I still have to sink down slowly to allow my core to accommodate Xander’s size.
His grip returns to my hips in a punishing hold as he groans low and slams his eyelids shut. “Shit, Wills. We gotta go slow or this will be over in a snap. I’ve missed you too fucking much.” He grits out through clenched teeth. I’m already on the edge with him and I definitely want to draw these delectable feelings out.
As I begin a tantalizing rhythm meant to ebb our impending orgasms, I lean down to place supple kisses against the scars marring his chest. I glide my palms against his damaged skin and let my love flow into him with every caress. Our bodies are deeply connected as our souls become tightly entwined.
Hitched breaths and startled gasps surround us as we become consumed by our passion. I’m lost in the seductive strokes and hypnotic thrusts when Xander takes control from below me. He sits up and envelops me in an unbreakable hold. I’m still straddling him and this position sends him unbelievably deeper. Our bodies slide together like perfectly matched puzzle pieces. My mouth hangs open in a silent scream as Xander alternates between whispering words of love and sucking along by jaw.
We continue worshiping and cherishing our reunion as seconds blend into minutes that make it seem like hours have passed. We’re drenched and covered in salty sweat but still keep pushing forward. My pulse is vibrating an irregular beat while Xander surges further into my core. The tingles start sparking and radiating throughout my tense form. My inner walls began spasming and clenching, effectively crushing Xander’s enormous dick inside me.
All of a sudden I’m on the brink way too soon, but that’s what Xander does to me. When I catch his blazing blues, I can tell he’s teetering on the edge of euphoria as well. While holding his unwavering stare, full of so much devotion, I let the release whisk me away. Once my body erupts in shudders, Xander leaps off the cliff with me.
We are waves crashing against ocean rock during high tide. Our climaxes join forces and blast through us. I feel Xander burst as his cum floods my fluttering pussy. My peak plateaus but the intensity doesn’t waver. We clutch onto one another as we ride the electric current jolting through our charged connection.
Eventually I sag into his chest, utterly depleted but extremely satisfied. My eyes drift close as the enormity of what just occurred blankets over me.
Between heaving breaths I hear Xander whisper, “I see you too, Wills.”
* * *
I’m running my fingers through Willow’s damp hair as she snuggles deeper into my embrace. She collapsed into me, greedily gasping for air after we screwed each other senseless. We haven’t moved much since we are still trying to recover, which results in a naked Willow wrapped around me.
I’m one lucky bastard.
My eyes want to slam closed in utter exhaustion but I can’t get my brain to shut down and my mind wanders aimlessly. The girl currently cocooned around me is my entire world but I’m still nervous as fuck being in an unknown space. Sleep has eluded me since Willow left my house so I’m probably bordering on delusional at this point.
The darkness tried to snatch me up for good and I didn’t have the strength to continue struggling. Just as the black waters began drowning me, Willow saved me once again. I could feel her light beaming down into my deprived eyes before I heard her soothing tone float through the chaos. Willow’s whisper was louder than any of the roaring hallucinations. It was her soft voice calling out to me that dragged me from that dank pit I’d been wallowing in.
I forced myself to find a way to her because I wouldn’t survive another day without Willow’s warmth. It wasn’t easy hitching a ride into the city, especially in the middle of the night, but someone was clearly watching out for me. As I limped along the narrow road toward town, a trucker took pity on me and gave my psycho ass a lift.
I could hardly keep the panic controlled as we bounced along the freeway. My demons had a tight grip on my sanity but Willow’s pull was stronger. I refused to surrender to anything or anyone except my beautiful Wills. Her encouraging words were playing on a continuous reel as I blankly stared outside the passenger window. “Come back to me, X. I love you, X. I see you, X.”
Countless hours later, I had her wrapped in my arms and I could finally breathe again. I didn’t anticipate Willow’s impatience but I definitely wasn’t fucking complaining when she started taking off my clothes. When she slid down on my cock, it felt like a fucking housewarming that I didn’t deserve but I selfishly accepted. Her tight pussy squeezing the hell out of my dick was fantastic but her sweet words were icing on the cake. All night long we went at it until our bodies and minds were fucking spent.
This is heaven on Earth.
I release a lungful of air and Willow to stirs against me. I figured she had fallen asleep until her hand begins rubbing along my ribs. She presses a light kiss to my pec before nuzzling into my neck. Willow’s tone is smooth as satin when she asks, “Xander?”
“Yeah, baby?” My reply is muttered against her forehead.
“Are you alright being here in the city? Are you alright? I was so worried about you, X. I want to know everything. Tell me what you’re thinking about.” Her voice is scratchy from screaming through our sex marathon, which has my chest puffing out in pride. Then her words register and my ego deflates. Willow isn’t busy thinking about my mad skills in the sack. She’s worried about my wellbeing because I’m fucked up and need help.
I release a frustrated groan. “When I’m with you, I actually get some semblance of normal. At least what I would consider typical. All the crazy shit stays quiet because you consume every part of me, Wills. When you bring up how I might be feeling in certain situations, I start getting fucking anxious since I know the darkness can easily trap me again. Right now, with your sexy body mashed against mine, I feel like a king. What’ll tomorrow bring? I have no fucking clue.” Talking about my black episodes causes my heart rate to spike and my muscles tense against a potential onslaught of panic. My palms had been stroking along Willow’s back when our conversation started but now, both hands are formed into a tight fists against the mattress.
“Should we go back to the cabin?”
“Will you stay there with me?” My reply is harsh, even to my own ears.
Willow’s fingers continue their soothing touch along my torso but her response has my defenses quickly rising. “Well, I can for a little while but I’ll have to come back for work. I can’t leave my job without giving them decent notice. That hasn’t changed, Xander.”
“Then I’m not going back.” I inject as much strength as possible into my words.
“What? Why?”
“I can’t fucking be separated from you, Wills. I can’t do it. I need to be with you more than just on weekends. Even picturing life away from you gets me upset and freaked the fuck out. These past four days were absolute torture. I don’t even want to discuss it, but know I refuse to live through that shit again.” My breaths are puffing out of me in short pants as I get worked up imagining going back to my cabin alone.
Fuck that shit.
Willow’s wandering hand stills against my sternum where my heart is racing wildly. “I would love for you to st
ay with me. I just assumed this wasn’t an option. Of course it would be wonderful to live with you here but I want you to be happy, X. I need to be with you, too. More than anything, I’ve realized that now. If you hadn’t come out here, I was going to find a way to stay in the woods with you. You’re my life and I can’t manage without you near me.”
Hearing a similar declaration from her lips causes my soul to fill with pure joy. My weak limbs sag into the bed knowing she won’t leave me again. I brush a swift peck against her temple.
“Being with you is all I need in this twisted life of mine, Wills. You’re helping me flatten the erratic curves by just being with me. I owe you everything for that.” I wish there is more I could say to get my point across. Wills was my entire universe and I would cease to exist without her.
Her exhale is stuttered and accompanies a few sniffles.
“You’re such a great man, Xander. I love you so freaking much.” She pauses a moment while her eyes shutter closed before flutter open again. “I kept trying to force you into the slot you used to fill and that isn’t fair. We’re both different people now and I’m so thankful for that. Maybe we needed to drift apart in order to slam back together. You know?”
I had no idea what she meant. There is no way she actually enjoyed the messed up parts of me.
“I’m not the guy you used to know. I’ll never be him again, Wills. It sucks and I hate it because I never want to disappoint you. I want this to work out between us so fucking badly. I know we could have a future together because you’re all I see and that will never change.
“I feel so much better just having you around. It’s like you’re a balm to my crazed mind. I don’t feel like my skin is burning when you touch me. I can sleep. I actually feel relaxed. With you next to me, holding my hand, I believe anything is possible.” This woman drags the syrupy confessions out of me without even trying.
I’ll never get tired of telling her how I feel and she’s earned an endless supply of sweet sentiments. Willow deserves much more than what my words provide and I’m hoping to have the rest of our days to prove myself.
She straightens her arms in order to hover over me. Her green gaze is still watery but beyond the surface, her irises are smoldering. I see eternity in her eyes as I get lost in her stare. That look alone liquefies my insides and I surrender all I have to this girl. I’d gladly offer anything I had to keep that level of love reflecting back at me.
Then Willow smiles and my brain shuts the fuck down. All that registers is the brilliant stunner blinding me with her light.
“Xander, you don’t get it at all. I’ve always loved you and yes, you’re a drastically different man now but that doesn’t freaking matter. I see you in front of me and I want every single piece, no matter how jagged. Every crack, hole, divot, and defect is a part of you that I wouldn’t change. Who you are today is the guy I’m confessing all my feelings for. This version of you has recaptured my heart and gives it reason to beat rapidly. I’m crazy about everything related to you, even the parts you hate.” Willow interrupts her speech to smack a loud kiss across my lips before continuing.
“All mixed together, you’re the perfect package that has me completely head-over-heels. No matter what you say, I think I would be disappointed to lose any side you have to offer.” Unwavering devotion drips from her words and I know this is forever.
I crush her tiny frame into my bulky build. Our flesh snapped together like a powerful magnetic force.
We will never be separate again. I will make it my fucking mission to ensure nothing ever pulls us apart.
* * *
With the morning sun comes the first day of the rest of my life. This time when I wake up, everything feels solidified and solved. It boggles my brain that Xander found the strength to leave the comfort of his house to show up at my place in the crowded city, full of everything that fuels his panic. If he hadn’t already told me how much I mean to him, there wouldn’t be a single doubt in my mind after that.
The level of actual ease his reclusive isolation brought him is debatable but being in a busy town must be far worse for him. I’m extremely impressed and it somehow has my already bursting heart expanding further. I finally understand what all those fairytales are made of.
Xander is perched by the stove while I cook some eggs. He claimed this would be a team effort but all he’s managed to accomplish is turning me on by stroking any exposed skin he can find. I can’t forget the succulent kisses along my neck and shoulder. Or the way his massive arms tenderly intertwined around my middle to drag me back into his solid body.
Some people believe hugs are overrated but there isn’t anything better than being wrapped up in Xander’s embrace. It turns me into a gooey pile of mush which is why he’s getting away with not helping me make breakfast. He deserves to be spoiled, right?
I was already planning to take today off work and I’m extremely thankful we have time to create a plan. Xander will live here with me, of course, but what is he going to do besides lavish me with attention? I’m hoping he’ll be open to suggestions.
Once our meal is prepared and the table is set, I decide to bring up possible ideas. It’s never been my intention to push Xander past his limits but after last night, I think he’s ready to take more steps toward recovery.
I reach across the table for his hand and give it a little squeeze. “Have I told you how relieved and happy I am that you’re here?” I feel like a dork once the words slip out but oh well. I can’t help beating around the bush a bit.
Xander shoots me an odd look before releasing a disbelieving chuckle. “Wills, really? Just spit out what you really have to say.” His sexy rumble has my lady bits perking up in excitement.
Maybe I should postpone this little chat in favor of something more . . . pleasurable. That sounds like loads more fun. Look at his handsome face and his piercing blue eyes. That shadow of scruff seems to highlight Xander’s ridiculously angular jaw. His perfect pout curls up on one side before he tilts his heads slightly.
“Wills?”
Crap, he totally caught me ogling him. Again.
I scrunch my nose and squint at him slightly. My mouth is pinched tight as I prepare my proposition. “Remember our unspoken rule? You have to let me finish before you’re allowed to jump in. This is important to me.” I flash him a megawatt smile to take the edge off but it falls flat at the sight of his frown.
He huffs out sigh. “Let’s hear it.”
I don’t know why I’m so freaking nervous to talk about this. I’m pretty sure my palms are sweating and that’s just gross.
“I have a friend who works at the VA Hospital downtown and she told me there is a clinic attached where they offer a lot of support groups. I’ve been thinking how beneficial it could be for you to join one. You can find fellow survivors and people living through similar situations.” I took a pause to gauge his relatively indifferent reaction. When Xander doesn’t pipe up right away, I’m encouraged to give him more details.
“The awesome thing about a group setting is everyone tends to be at different stages of therapy. Some have already won the battle against whatever haunts them while others are just beginning. What they all have in common is the desire to find a solution so they can heal. They’re taking action and seeking out the vital help needed. The support in numbers is stronger and wider spread. If nothing else, you could listen to their stories and success. Then you can decide if that option makes sense for you.” I end my spiel with a long exhale. The air gets caught in my lungs as I wait for Xander’s response.
It seems like hours have passed before he mutters, “Would you go with me?”
My response is instant. “Absolutely, X. I’ll be part of everything in your life.”
“Our life, Wills. We should always refer to it as ours from now on.” His softly spoken words have my romantic heart racing.
I can’t stop the goofy grin from spreading my lips.
“That is so sweet, Xander. You always know exa
ctly what to say.” I take a moment to appreciate this amazing man.
How did I get so freaking lucky?
I swallow the emotion suddenly clogging my throat before asking, “You’re really open to trying the group?”
“I’d do anything for you, Wills. I’ll try for you but also for me. I understand that I need to care about myself too. I want all those missing pieces back so I can be complete for you. For our future together. So yes, I will try to get better for us.” Xander makes sure to emphasize those final words.
“Really? I kind of assumed you’d fight me on this, at least a little.” I can’t deny the stunned flutter in my chest.
“Why do you sound surprised? You should know by now that I’m willing to do anything it takes for you to believe in me again. I want you to be truly proud of me and I need to be a man deserving of your love. Wills, you’re my end game. That’s all there is to it.” The finality in his tone leaves no room for argument. As if I would go against any of the wonderful things he’s said.
This discussion suddenly reminds me of a similar conversation we once had. I giggle at the silly memory, which earns me an inquisitive glance from Xander.
“Do you remember that day I wanted to go horseback riding and you refused?” I toss the random question at him and watch as recognition dawns.
He nods before delving into the past with me. “How could I ever forget? You brought it up every chance you got. Always throwing in my face how badly I disappointed you. What a crock, Wills. You know exactly why I didn’t want to go but I never fucking lived it down.” He scoffs in mock frustration.
I’m laughing so hard I almost can’t speak.
“Oh my gosh! You were so freaking serious when you told me all that bouncing in the saddle would damage your family jewels. That your mother would be crushed if you couldn’t give her grandbabies someday. Always thinking of others.” Tears are streaking down my cheeks and my stomach is cramping but I can’t control my glee.