Disrespectful Diva (DJ Series Book 2)

by Helen J. Barnes

  They say curiosity killed the cat but I can’t help myself and I scan the paper on top, seeing it’s actually a contract. I frown and pick up the stapled file, flicking through the standard jargon that we use in our Xtreem contracts and turn straight to the part which concerns me most. My heart squeezes when I see she has signed a three track contract with them. The most hurtful part is she has signed with only 40% commission on sales. I shake my head. She knows the cardinal rule Pops always recites when it comes to signing a contract with another label. Anything less than half is an insult, and if they want more than one track, anything less than 60% is as good as bending over the desk and taking it up the.., well, I’ll let you fill in the blank.

  What the fuck was shazza thinking? Pops is going to murder her. Damn, I want to strangle the silly cow. The fact that this contract was signed on Wednesday makes the papers shake in my hand. She has had days to tell me about this. I don’t know how she dare preach to me about keeping secrets when all I did was snog someone I’m no longer denying I can’t stop thinking about. Yet she is making career choices that should never be taken lightly without even as much as a word of advice from me, or Pops for that matter. What a stupid, silly bitch she is.

  Speaking of the bitch I hear her come in and mimic me, dropping her keys onto the hallway table. With my temper flaring for the third time today I make my way downstairs with the papers shoved into my back pocket. I meet her at the bottom of the stairs and level her with a look that says I’m not incredibly happy right about now.

  None of us say anything for a few seconds and Shaz rolls her eyes before taking a breath to speak. “So what’s going on, Tara? Are you seriously hooked up with that wanker, or what?”

  I say nothing and simply shrug a shoulder with a downturned mouth.

  “I dunno. Today just kinda happened with no premeditation. Just for the record, I would have told you.” I fake nonchalance, like what happened between Dom and I was no biggie. In reality it’s left me reeling and I needed Shaz more than ever.

  “Yeah, sure you would.”

  “Just cut the shit, Shazza, you know I would. Whether you liked the truth or not you would

  have heard it. You know the score, whether we like it or not we only ever give each other the truth. We never coat our shit with glitter. Well, I think I want Dom, not just in the sack. I mean I want him. I just hate that it was Pops who had to be the one to tell me how it really was. It should have been you, but you were being a selfish bitch and rather than being a friend to me you were busy worrying about yourself.”

  I see guilt flash over her face and I think I’ve hit a nerve.

  “Fair enough. Maybe I over reacted. Maybe I should have listened. I just can’t be happy for you, Tara. It’s plain for everyone to see you are getting wrapped up in a male slut and he will hurt you. But, if that’s what you want then go for it.”

  I nod, indicating I’ll do what I like and I shouldn’t feel and guilt for my actions with Dominic today. “So, we have all the cards on the table?” I give her the chance to admit all and when she nods but won’t meet my eye I push again, if she doesn’t admit it now I’m seriously gonna flip. “No more macca?”

  I see her perfectly groom brows knit and her eyes snap up to meet mine. “You’ve been in my room, haven’t you?”

  I shrug, appearing calm on the outside when my insides are quivering with upset and disappointment. I whip out the contract and shove it at her chest. Shaz snatches it away.

  “You had no right to go through my private business papers!”

  “You had no right to make me feel guilty for following my heart. I actually slapped Dom this afternoon, and not because he kissed me, for how he’d hurt you, Shazza. I’ve let you slander him none stop and felt guilty for not admitting everything to you when all along you were keeping your own dirty secrets. Not just from me but from the whole team, Pops specifically. Don’t be such a fucking hypocrite!”

  For a heartbeat I see the guilt slapped all over her angelic face and her big brown eyes look hurt, but she goes on the defensive. “You wouldn’t have listened. Since Dom stormed into the studio he’s the only thing you think about when you’re not producing. Don’t even try to deny it, Tara. You don’t have to talk about him for me to see the faraway look on your face and I just know you’re off in your own head picturing the perfect life with him.”

  I actually laugh but it fades out when I realise she’s right. I know I’ve been away with the fairies a lot lately, but so what if I want to roll with the fairies for a while. Don’t I deserve a break from the norm and the chance to see the possibilities in life? God knows I’ve spent less time thinking about my parents and everything I’ve lost in my life since he arrived. Maybe it is time I had a chance to feel optimistic about someone new coming into my life, especially since he seems as into me as I am into him. Dom was right, our kiss wasn’t such a big deal, it wasn’t sordid or wrong, yet Shazza made me feel it was. I over reacted - because of her.

  “Okay, I fess up. I haven’t exactly had both feet planted firmly on planet earth lately, but I would have listened, Shaz. I would have helped you with that contract. Forty fucking percent for three tracks? I could have haggled you at least 60%.”

  “But what if I didn’t want your help? What if I’m sick of people thinking you’re my puppet master?” Shaz actually stamps her foot and my mouth drops open. Puppet master?

  “Don’t be so damn ridiculous! I am not your master and you’re not a puppet. You’re my best friend. I help with these things because I love you and I want to the best of everything for you. It’s nothing to do with overruling you or overshadowing you, we’re a team. Or at least we were.”

  “Yeah, before he forced his way in and fucked your head up.” Shaz rolls her eyes and turns to leave. “I can’t deal with this shit right now. I need a break. I’m gonna go stay with my parents for a while.”

  “A break from what? From me? Xtreem? What?”

  “All of it, Tara. It’s depressing the shit out of me and you know what? These last few days at Serious Soundz has been a refreshing change, I’ve had fun. Today I felt guilty for not being there for the team when the police raided. When I do come back early to see if there is anything I can do, this is the shit I get. It’s not worth the aggro. I just hope Dominic is worth all the shit you’ll have to put up with.”

  My mouth drops open and I sadly shake my head. “You’re so quick to judge him but you know fuck all.” I defend, she hasn’t even tried to get to know him.

  “Neither do you, Tara. You just see the parts you want to see and fuck everyone else. I’m out, I’ll see you around when my contract with Serious is complete.”

  It’s never been this shitty before, at home or at work. Shaz just shakes her head in regret and walks out. I stand feeling a little stunned by all that’s gone down in the last twelve hours and the door slamming shut makes me flinch.

  What a fucking mess!

  The weekend feels weird when Baz picks me up to play my set in Kidderminster. It takes over two hours to get there via the M40 and as much as I’m incredibly comfortable in Baz’s company the ride gives me too much time to think. There is a slab of guilt on my chest because when I try to think about my falling out with Shazza my thoughts invariably lead back to Dom, and that’s exactly where they want to stay. Add another slab of guilt for slapping him and calling him such awful names. Add another slab of guilt for not telling Pops about Shazza’s contract and you’re pretty close to how shitty I feel right about now.

  Baz drags me back to the present when he playfully jabs me on the shoulder. I look up and realise he’s pulled into a service station for a bathroom break and refreshments. “Sorry, Baz. I was a million miles away.” I try and shake the plaguing thoughts from my mind.

  “Well, I would ask what’s bothering you but I can tell from the lack of your clubbing partner that summats up with Shaz?” I look up into his face with a forehead that shines and reaches all the way back to his neck and want to smile. A
s much as Baz looks every inch the intimidating body guard, his eyes now just scream concern and caring. He is just a big cuddly teddy bear really.

  “She signed to Serious Soundz. Three track deal,” I say like it explains everything. “I don’t think for a minute it’s going to stop at three tracks though. I’m pretty sure she’s building a new nest over in Lucy’s camp. Plus there’s this trouble with her hating Dom and I really.., like him.” I trail off.

  Baz grins and I get a flash of his shiny gold teeth. “I suspected there was summat between you both that night at Sphinx. You’re sure Shaz isn’t jealous?”

  “Nah, she hates him, he is the last person she would fancy. Personally I think she feels threatened.” I sigh, looking out across the packed car park. “When Pops retires Shaz was gonna run the place beside me. After all, she is his god daughter and grew up in that studio. But when Val and Pops marry, Dom will be his step son. I think she’s scared he’ll get control of Xtreem.”

  Baz looks surprised, then mulls it over for a few seconds and nods. “Makes sense. I can see why she may feel territorial. But I didn’t mean jealous because she fancies him. I meant jealous because she wants you all to herself. I know Shaz and I think she’s more worried about losing her bitch than losing control of Xtreem,” Baz says quietly.

  My brow creases. “You think?”

  “I know,” Baz says before opening his door and rounding the car to let me out.

  “So, she doesn’t want me to get with Dom, but I want to. So I have to choose between my best friend and my potential boyfriend?” I quiz and Baz shrugs. “I’m not being really blonde here in thinking that’s not a choice everyone has to make? This is just Shaz being pretty ridiculous?”

  “Tara, you shouldn’t have to make that choice. A friend should support you no matter how silly your mistakes. Same as you should forgive her for being stupid enough to think the grass is greener over at the Serious Soundz studio.” He winks.

  They say it’s all brawn and no brains in men like Barry, but I think I’ve just learnt that couldn’t be further from the truth.

  So, I’m sat here in some club I can’t even remember the name of, in the middle of Kidderminster, in the VIP area as per usual with a tray of my (now traditional) vodka shots. I’m half listening to some random DJ, who I can’t even be arsed to ask the name of, jabber on about how he’s always wanted to be signed to Xtreem and how he has always followed my career. I’m looking at him but not seeing him, if you get me? Someone comes to my left and offers me a pen and flyer and I sign without even looking at the flyer for the umpteenth time tonight.

  I wanna express that I have done events without Shazza by my side, hundreds of them, and I’ve still had a mountain of fun. Tonight feels different though, maybe because she hasn’t even texted since she walked out yesterday? Either way, I’m struggling to shake off this shitty mood. I think for the first time in my career I would sooner be at home in my Disney PJ’s rather than in this club playing a headline set. Not to mention I have a two hour drive home at 2am. A home that’s probably going to be dark, quiet and lonely.

  I’m just mulling these thoughts over when out of the corner of my eye I see someone approaching and I grit my teeth. If one more person asks for an autograph tonight I may just live up to my DJ name and have a total bitch fit in this VIP lounge!

  “Tara?” My name is said as a question and my eyes bulge.

  “Dominic?” I turn in my seat and look up at the mountain of pent up sexual tension. Holy hotness, he looks smoking in a collarless shirt and indigo jeans. His hair is its usual messy disarray that begs to be touched. It’s his steely eyes that still my heart though, he looks deadly serious.

  “Can we talk, please, sweetheart?” He offers me his hand and I blink up at him. For some inexplicable reason I feel so much calmer and reassured now he’s here. Even with Baz here I didn’t feel totally comfortable tonight. I felt like something was missing, and I put it down to missing Shaz. Maybe I was wrong?

  I lay my hand in his and he softly pulls me to standing, our eyes never leaving each other. Dom quickly looks to the jabber box DJ sat opposite when he stands. He has his mouth open as though he was about to protest the intrusion of our ‘chat’ but the deathly look in Dominic’s eye stops him uttering a word.

  “Where do you want to talk?” I ask quietly and he looks around before amusement catches in his eyes and he gives me a cheeky grin.

  “Dare I suggest the ladies’ so we can carry on where we left off?”

  I giggle and playfully slap his chest. He quickly grabs my hand and restrains it, whilst holding it he looks into my eyes and I freeze. “May I also suggest you use these beautiful hands for mixing and not martial arts tonight?” He gently kisses the pad of my thumb and I swear I almost swoon at his feet right there in front of every DJ in the club.

  I look around me and see every pair of eyes is on us, unapologetically staring and hanging onto our every word. The cheeky bastards. I look to Baz who knows exactly what I’m thinking, he nods before stepping towards the jabber box.

  “We need the room. You and your buddies want to sling your hook for half an hour?” He says to him whilst making sure it’s loud enough for the whole room to hear. It’s said as a question but the underlying current of intimidation is enough to make sure it’s interpreted as a demand. Jabber box rolls his eyes before tipping his head towards the exit. Every occupant files out one by one and even Baz leaves to give us some privacy.

  “Wow. Now I know why you bring the big guy to every event with you.” Dom observes the empty room before sitting on the plush velvet seating next to me.

  “He’s always handy when you’re not six feet tall with a pair of bollox and guns the size of yours.” I smile. Dom offers me a grin but shakes his head slightly at the compliment of his muscles. He picks up a vodka shot and nails it before turning to me and taking my hand.

  “I think we have a lot to talk about, don’t you?”

  “Too right. What the hell you’re doing here would be a great place to start. We are more than a hundred and thirty miles from Barnet. You didn’t just happen to be in the area.”

  “Maybe I was?” Dom chuckles.

  “Maybe you’re a liar, or a stalker? Seriously Dom, what made you come all this way?” I smile and I see Dom look down at our interlaced fingers and all humour leaves the building when he looks back up at me with eyes full of sincerity.

  “You,” he practically whispers and my heart breaks into a gallop and I have to let go of his hands because I’ve broken out into a nasty sweat on my palms. “Tara, I’ve had my fair share of women. Damn, I’ve probably had half of Grotzy’s fair share, too. But you… You have me in knots. You’re driving me insane! I see you five days a week and I only have to stay away for the weekend but I can’t even manage that.” He seems frustrated and I don’t know if that’s with me or himself. He runs his hands through his mussed up hair before squaring me with another look that stops my heart. “Now that I’ve had a taste of what I want, I need more, Tara. I’ve tried to tell myself it’s not a good idea, that you deserve better than me, but, shit, if that slap didn’t knock some sense into me I really don’t know what will. Yet, here I am. Miles from home just so I can see you, speak to you. Be near you.”

  I’m sat with wide eyes, a million thoughts racing through my mind and my mouth feels like it’s full of cotton wool. Holy shit. Did he mean all that? His eyes look sincere and desperately unsure. I think he’s waiting for me to speak but I can’t. Vodka. I need vodka.

  I down two shots from the tray before going for a third. Just for luck.

  When I turn back to him his eyes are full of worry and my heart squeezes. Aww, he’s so cute when he’s not being cocky. I realise I have to say something, so I sigh and offer him a reassuring smile.

  “I think that’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me, Dom. Driving all the way here to say those things is probably the sweetest thing anyone has ever done, too. How would you feel if I said the exa
ct same thing to you? Well, except for fucking half of the women in club land?” I smirk and I see him smile but it soon wavers.

  “I’d say if you feel the same then we are both in big trouble.” Dom looks apprehensive. “I hate that your sister wants me castrated and that’s causing issues for you. I know my ‘lesbian lover’ line wasn’t very tactful yesterday, Tara, and I’m sorry. I say things like that at the worst possible times. I’m a bit of an arse like that.”

  “That’s putting it mildly.” I smirk and Dom bumps his shoulder against mine with a sweet smile that makes my heart squeeze.

  “Listen, don’t worry about Shaz. The way I see it, if she’s a real friend she’ll support my choices, just how I’m supporting hers.”

  “You hit the nail on the head there, midget.” Dom nods and I playfully narrow my eyes at him, pretending I’m not impressed with his new nickname. I think I prefer sweetheart.

  “Very funny, Goliath. But seriously, if we are thinking of seeing where this.., thing, between us goes, I need exclusivity.” I tell him straight. John. Bull. “No bullshit, no lies, no dicking around. I’m taking a huge risk on you, Dom, I’ve never gotten serious with anyone before and I’ve heard your rep.”

  His face beams and he grabs my hands again, placing my palm flat against his firm chest. “How would you feel if I said the exact same thing to you?”

  I can’t help but giggle and I look down at our hands, my little mitten wrapped in his huge paw. This guy is so capable of crushing me, in more ways than one. I hate the swirl of nerves in my tummy when I think this. As if reading my thoughts Dom gently grips my chin and tips my face to his.

  “I promise, sweetheart, I won’t mess this up,” he whispers and I close my eyes for the impending kiss. One full of tenderness.