“Well, there are dancers and there are dancers.” She dropped her brush on the table. “Want my help or not?”
“Sure,” I said. I figured I couldn’t end up anymore on the outside.
“To start. You need shoes that are the right size.”
I frowned and looked down, twisting my feet in the clear straps that held them in the torture devices.
“Then, you need to keep your weight forward on your toes. Your muscles will hurt like a bitch until you get used to it, but it’s better than a sprained ankle or broken leg.” She led me back to the wardrobe room, and we sifted through about twenty pairs of shoes before finding a pair that met her seal of approval. Maybe she saw the millimeter of difference, but my feet and legs sure didn’t seem to notice.
“Run through your dance,” she said, pointing to one of the practice poles the girls used to test out their costumes and shoes.
“Um,” I looked at her, then at the pole, knowing I was going to make an utter fool of myself.
“Really? You can’t dance for me, but you think you can walk out on stage and do it? That’s your problem.” She shoved me toward the pole and spent the rest of the hour walking me through my moves with instructions I’d be lucky to remember without the stress of having to perform.
She showed me how to swivel my hips and balance on my toes to keep everything more fluid—and she looked damn good doing it, but she may as well have been trying to teach a panda how to eat with chopsticks.
Don’t leave your mouth hanging open.
Weight on your toes.
Keep your curves smooth.
My brain was going to combust from the overload of information. I hadn’t made it halfway through the night and my knees burned with a splintering pain that traveled up my thighs and into my hips.
There was no way that I was ever cut out to be a dancer, let alone a “sexy” one. Although, I might have made for a good comedy act on Vaudeville if I had been born a century earlier.
“You’ll get the hang of it,” she said as we both returned to our seats in the dressing room. When I looked in the mirror, I barely recognized myself. I guess that’s where I’d been going wrong all along. Holding on too tight to my own dreams and expectations—trying not to lose myself.
Most of the other girls had filtered into the dressing room, but their stilted silence prickled at the hairs on my neck, and I didn’t dare look over my shoulder to find out why or acknowledge their distant faces in the mirror.
“Do you know Colt?” I asked.
Despite her thick makeup, it looked like her face flushed. She avoided looking at me and merely shrugged. “Most girls here do.”
“But your look—”
She glared at me through the mirror we shared. “Drop it, Sway.”
Her face relaxed into neutral indifference that seemed like a schooled reaction rather than a genuine one.
I slumped in my seat and stared down at the black eyeliner tube in my hand. Even though I told myself the whole thing was settled, my mind still waged a bitter back and forth battle between the man who dangled freedom in front of my face and the man whose prison bars had surrounded my life for what seemed like an eternity.
Serve my sentence or break free.
Dance for the demoralized crowds.
Or, offer my body to one man.
Either way my path forward was intrinsically linked with either Devlin or Colt.
Colt in some ways was easier to stomach. He didn’t have the same smug face as his brother or a haughty attitude that said he believed the world owed him everything. But seeing as he’d held a knife to my throat only hours earlier, as far as I knew, he was just as untrustworthy and may well be another cog in his brother’s game.
The dressing room door opened and one of Devlin’s “managers” walked in. There were no formalities around here and certainly no privacy. Which made me really wonder where they would draw the line when patrons got handsy.
Unless I wanted to take Colt’s answer which made it quite simple—we were here to give the men anything and everything they wanted. I wondered whether there was even a concept of harassment within these brick walls. All of the rules and regulations were probably another of Devlin’s lies used to comfort newcomers and appease outsiders who might cause problems.
I regretted climbing out of Colt’s car, but I didn’t know which way to veer when it seemed like an inch of difference in either direction would send me plummeting off a cliff. I sympathized with the sailors in old tales, forced to navigate the choppy waters and avoid disastrous run-ins with obstacles both obvious and unseen.
The man approached the area where Alex and I sat. The swirl of nausea twisted my insides and squeezed my throat. I assumed that Devlin wasn’t quite happy about what I’d said, but instead of coming for me, he dropped his hand on Alex’s shoulder.
“Boss wants to see you before you return to the stage.”
She kept her eyes lowered as she stood—she was like an empty shell—moving, obeying, but there was nothing more. No emotion, no energy.
Like there was no soul left in her.
My body went cold and I had to wrap my arms around myself to keep from shivering uncontrollably.
The other girls wandered in and out of the dressing room. The clicks of their heels, high pitched laughs, and jovial voices added nausea to my chills.
My thoughts went back to Colt. Maybe he’d at least hide me away. Hide me from all of this. The glaring eyes. Handsy men.
Was I really considering becoming one man’s... I didn’t even know what term to use.
Sex slave.
Whore.
Possession.
What would I be to him? Something he kept around for entertainment?
That was certainly no worse than what I was to Devlin. To him, I was no more than a tiny animal he kept in a cage only to torment and harass.
Even my decisions weren’t my own.
Maybe I could guard myself against him. Be extra cautious of everything I ate, drank, said... did.
For how long?
Until I looked in a mirror and saw someone like Alex staring back at me?
Longer than that.
The other girls took their places at the dressing tables, but their chatter didn’t diminish.
I pushed myself up, feeling my strength wane but refusing to show it. Even in my heels, I remained steady as I paced across the room to my locker. I spun the combination lock and yanked the handle free. My mess of clothes toppled forward, but I slid my hand underneath the mess to where I’d left my phone. A nest of strings caught my hand and I yanked it back. Blue cotton strings like shredded jeans hung from my fingernails where they’d caught on the rough edges.
“No.” I breathed the word silently to myself.
I flipped through the pile of clothes—everything I’d left in my locker the day before had been ripped and shredded until nothing was left.
Behind me, the room fell silent aside from the hushed whispers that were lost to the influx of music from the lobby.
Without acknowledging anyone. I tossed my ruined clothes to the trash can and continued digging through the mess until I found my phone—also shattered.
My heart fluttered then lodged uselessly against my stomach. It’d be months before I could afford a replacement.
I rolled the clothes Colt had given me into a tight ball and squeezed the fabric between my hands. At least no one had had the opportunity to destroy those as well. I was so tempted to leave.
What if the opportunity for escape was over?
If Colt was already gone, Devlin would easily chase me down. Not that I was convinced that Colt could even keep him away, but the chance was better than nothing. There probably wasn’t anyone who knew Devlin better—who had managed to avoid his wrath longer.
I had wondered if they were somehow working in tandem to trick me, but the way they looked at each other....
If anything, I was part of some crazy plot for Colt to piss off Devlin. I
was smart enough to figure that out.
What if I walked out and pissed off Devlin with nowhere to run?
May as well go down in flames.
I stripped off the costume and slipped back into the crinkled clothes that Colt had given me. Meaningless whispers crashed against my ears like gentle waves, but although I couldn’t understand their words, I knew they were anything but gentle.
I picked up my phone, even though it was useless, in hopes that it’d be cheaper to fix than replace. It was then that the whisperes turned to cheers and chants of “Run, Sway.”
Rage burned at my skin, empowering my willpower as I walked out with my head held high. Then, all I had to do was slip by Devlin’s office door and escape out the back.
To what? My unappeasable brain taunted me with the question. I also considered slipping out the front where Devlin certainly wouldn’t catch me, but then I’d be faced with a wall of employees and a bouncer or two who would stop me just as quickly and drag me straight to my doom.
Shoes in hand, I crept down the hall. My stomach turned in on itself when Devlin’s open door came into view. Strange noises, grunts, smacks, and thuds emanated from the room raising the hair on my arms as I neared and peeked through the opening.
Alex stood in the center of the room, surrounded by Devlin and three other men. One doing her from behind while she sucked Devlin and stroked the two who flanked her. My breath caught with a gasp and I hoped no one heard me as I spun around and planted my back against the wall.
My mind filled with a fog again, then released, leaving me clinging to the wall and my tenuous grasp on the present.
Flashes filled my mind with images of being bent over Devlin’s desk with his hands on my ass and back, pinning me there. My knees buckled and I wanted to slide down the wall and wrap my mind around everything. But at the same time, I wanted to run as far and fast as I possibly could.
I had to get out.
Shoes squeaked on the tile floor of Devlin’s office, and before I could get my feet moving, I heard my name lilting off of Devlin’s tongue.
He seemed in a better mood, but there was nothing like a gang bang to cheer you up.
“You’re still not dressed,” he said.
“I don’t feel well.” It was the only thing I could think to say, even though I knew it’d make no difference.
“I’ll get you some water.”
I should have known he’d leap at that opportunity. “And drug me again?”
“Is that what this is about?” He remained calm and nonchalant. Drugging me didn’t seem the least out of the ordinary—nor did whatever the hell I’d just gotten an eyeful of. “You were too tense and anxious. I was making sure you’d relax and have a good time. Protecting my investment.”
I shook my head. “I can’t remember most of the night.”
As soon as I said that, I was hit with another flash of being bent over his desk. I wasn’t sure if my brain was making it up given what I’d just seen or if it all really happened. “You drugged me without my knowledge or consent.”
“I didn’t want you to think you’d have to rely on drugs every time. Maybe it was a tad strong—”
A tad? My eyes widened before I could school my reaction, but I bit my tongue. I’d never match his penchant for explaining everything away.
From inside the office, the grunts and groans increased in volume and frequency while I stood outside facing down the man who was in charge of it all. “That why you had me bent over your desk?”
His eyes turned wild, staring down at me with a terrifying intensity. I really should have kept my mouth shut. I wanted him to understand I wouldn’t be run over so easily, but as always, that was a huge mistake.
He came at me, his cool demeanor shattering. Before I could react, his hands were around my neck pressing me into the wall until I couldn’t breathe.
“Is that the game you want to play?”
I tried to shake my head, but his hand didn’t give me the freedom to do much except gasp futilely for air. He yanked me away from the wall and shoved me into the room. Right into the middle of his screwed up sex fest.
One of the other men grabbed me, turning away from Alex and pinning me to Devlin’s desk. “Free for all?” he asked, raising an eyebrow and glancing to Devlin.
My body was frozen in shock and disbelief.
“Alex,” Devlin barked. “Go get cleaned up.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck. My brain was stuck on repeat.
I kicked and tried to get away by crawling over Devlin’s desk, but soon, I was surrounded by three more men—including Devlin. “You could have had it the easy way,” he purred. “Obviously you’re too strong-willed for that.”
He grabbed my hair and dragged me across the desk until his mouth was at my ear. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this. Relishing the anticipation of having you right here.”
I twisted and kicked, a sob swelled in my throat making it difficult to breathe.
“Dev,” another voice from the hallway interrupted with a knock, and the four pairs of hands paused. “Your father is here.”
Devlin muttered a string of curse words, then yanked my head back again, wrapping his other hand around my throat again. “Get your pretty ass into costume and on stage when your cue comes on.” His angry words carried droplets of saliva and the stench of alcohol. “Don’t make me find a new payment plan. You do not question me unless you want me to stop playing nice.”
If any of our history involved playing nice, I didn’t want to see his idea of dirty. He held my throat tighter and tighter until I thought I’d pass out. Then, he jerked up part of my top and squeezed my nipple until I could barely see through the tears that welled up.
“Understand?”
I tried to grunt out an answer, but I didn’t have any air to work with until he finally released me. I gasped for air. Cool sweet air. Life.
This time he allowed me to taste it again.
This time.
There was no surviving this—Devlin would see to that, and it was written all over Alex. I wondered if she’d been recruited the same way as me.
Like a good girl after a scolding, I put my head down and inched my way back to the locker room door. Then, I glanced over my shoulder to gauge my distance before I darted across the room and out to the lobby, hoping they wouldn’t cause a ruckus in front of customers.
Nothing stood between me and Devlin and no one would—aside from one possibility.
I scanned the crowd, feeling the heated eyes of onlookers assessing my hurried entrance, but my feet kept moving. I had to keep moving.
An arm caught me, and I spun, ready to fight to get away, but it only caused me to lose my balance.
“Having a worse night?” Colt asked, sitting me back on my feet before I tumbled.
“Colt,” I said. Even my monetary relief at seeing him was disconcerting on some level. “Please, get me out of here.”
One of the men who’d been in Devlin’s office stepped through the door, straightening his long black sleeves as he looked out over the crowd. Looking for me, no doubt.
“Please,” I begged, but Colt just stared down at me with an impassively blank expression. I urged him on, pawing at his chest and pushing him toward the door. “I agree, okay?”
I refused to be turned into a drugged-up zombie sex toy. So of course, I was agreeing to become someone else’s fuck toy—that made perfect sense. But deep down, I knew I stood a better chance with Colt.
“And I was just beginning to get into the show,” Colt murmured in my ear. “You might have some serious making up to do later.”
“Can you keep him from coming after me?”
“I’ll make him a deal he can’t refuse.” He smirked and led me towards the front. I didn’t remember my lack of shoes until my feet hit the frigid pavement. The bouncer saw me and darted after us, but with one swing, Colt bloodied his nose, then dragged me to the car.
“Colt,” I hissed. His fingers dug i
nto my bicep, and I feared I was going to wake up with bruises all over my body after he and Devlin got through with me.
As long as I wake up, I told myself, it’ll be worth it.
“You’re going to have to trust me a little here.” He jerked open the passenger door and shoved me inside. I caught a glance of the front of the club as he ran around the front to join me inside. Two of the men from Devlin’s office joined the bloodied bouncer, who pointed out Colt’s car as we sped away from the entrance.
Chapter 6
“Where are we going?” Aubrey pleaded again, adjusting in her seat as I tore down the highway, putting some distance between us and the club.
“Wherever I want.” The gas pedal vibrated beneath my foot, sending more fiery power to the engine with just a twitch of movement. That was why I enjoyed cars—when you cared for them properly, tuned them up just right, they didn’t ask stupid questions or go around behind your back. They simply purred under the slightest touch and followed orders.
Her eyes fell closed and she leaned against the window, her forehead pressing into the cold glass. “You said you had somewhere to be, so why were you still at the club? Were you just waiting for something to happen so you could—could take advantage of it?” Despite the accusation, much of the fight had drained from her voice as the adrenaline cleared from her system.
“I didn’t figure it’d be any different from any other night around there. I said you’d agree, and you did—almost exactly when I predicted you would. Except I expected you to make it through one dance. Was actually looking forward to it.”
“You....” She gritted her teeth. “You and Devlin are both jackasses. Conniving. Arrogant. Self-serving conmen.”
“Touché. But there is one difference,” I said softly, letting my voice fade into the vibrations of the car. I didn’t need to raise my voice to get my point across, since as far as my deal with Aubrey was concerned, I’d already won. “I’m upfront about what I want. And it seems you understand that difference, seeing as how you just chose me over him. Just like I said you would.”
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