Wanting You

by Ryan Michele

  “Reports say it started soon after she started writing about four and a half years ago. They believe it’s been the same guy the entire time, but they really have no leads.”

  “All right, so she has a stalker. Is it an immediate threat?”

  “As far as we know, no. But before she left, she got a letter stating all the things this guy wanted to do to her. And because we don’t know who he really is, we have no idea on his whereabouts.”

  Sitting back in my chair, I rubbed my hands over my eyes. Some asshole out there wanted to hurt Vann. Fuck. And she was a writer. A sex writer. Memories of our first time together flooded me like a tidal wave.

  “Vann,” I whispered in her ear as she lay on the blanket under the old oak tree by the river, my body on top of hers. I knew she was just as inexperienced as I was, but I wanted to rectify that. I’d had a rep of being a player in school, but it was far from the truth.

  I’d never had sex before. I’d always thought about it. I mean, shit, what guy didn’t? I just didn’t want to just do it. I wanted it to mean something.

  For some reason, it stuck with me what my dad told me about it not being taken lightly. I’d made out with girls, but that was about it. I never let the guys know, though. They’d be on my ass.

  But Vann. She was different. She listened to me and cared. Every time I kissed her, my entire body caught on fire and I wanted more—more from her.

  “Yeah Deke?” Vann’s voice was shallow and breathy. The kisses I’d just stolen did that to her. I did that to her.

  “Can I touch you?”

  Vann’s eyes searched mine as if she was looking for divine intervention. I didn’t know what she would find in my eyes besides want. “Yes.”

  Smiling, I reached my shaky hand to Vann’s stomach, slipping my hand under her shirt. Reaching up, I lightly touched Vann’s boob. Her gasp in my mouth told me she felt it, too.

  Rubbing her nipple through her bra, I could feel it harden beneath my touch. I wanted to see it. Reaching for the hem of her shirt, I began to slowly raise it from her body. Vann lifted her arms for me to remove it.

  Underneath, her beautiful body lay before me. Her pink satin bra was standing in the way of me finally seeing her beautiful breasts. I began kissing her again, reaching around her body releasing the clasp. I pulled the fabric off of her in one swipe.

  She was beautiful. Her breasts were the perfect size for my hands as they found them and began kneading. I tried my damnedest to look as though I had a clue what I was doing but the porn I watched with the guys didn’t hold a candle to this moment.

  Vann’s small moans were such a turn on. My dick was swelling, becoming almost painful behind my zipper. “Deke.”

  I began kissing down her body to her boobs. I kissed and sucked, trying to figure how to make them pebble tighter... My hand glided down her body to the button of her jeans. I began to slowly unbutton them.

  I glanced up at her to get permission, but her head was thrown back and her eyes were shut tightly. Slipping my hand down to her panties, I didn’t immediately slide my hand into them. Nerves held me back. This was my first time to feel a girl like this. Shit. I could do this.

  I rubbed the outside of her panties, feeling her hot, wet heat. Vann began writhing underneath me, grasping at my shoulders. “Deke”

  I looked up at her face. “Vann?”

  “Don’t stop.”

  Her words gave me the courage to go into her panties. The feel of her soft curls ran through my fingers. Everything down there was wet, coating my hand. I slipped one finger into her and by God, I thought for sure I’d come right then. The feeling of being inside of her was a high that was hard to explain.

  Vann’s breathing picked up to almost a pant. I pushed my finger in and out of her, trying not to scratch her. I should have cut my damn nails. Vann’s pussy began to clamp on my fingers as if trying to pull them in deeper. She began chanting my name, “Deke, Deke … What’s … Ohhh …”

  I watched as the orgasm shot through her. With her head thrown back, she never looked more beautiful than at that moment. I couldn’t help but feel proud that I made her feel that way. I slowly pulled my hand out as I watched Vann try to catch her breath. She was so beautiful. I wanted to kiss her, but her breathing was so ragged.

  She eyed me. “Don’t stop.”

  “What?”

  Vann began to push her jeans off of her body. My eyes focused on the curls I felt just a few moments earlier. The movies didn’t do this sight. Just when I thought my dick was as hard as it could get, I was wrong.

  Vann’s hands went to the front of my jeans as she began unbuttoning them. She pulled them down, along with my boxers, springing my cock free. It felt so good to have it out of confinement.

  Vann’s soft hands wrapped around my cock, and I did everything I could not to come in her hand. Her touch was soft yet tight, nothing like when I jacked off in the shower.

  Her hand began pumping it up and down. “Vann, I’m gonna blow.”

  Vann stopped and stared at me. “I want to do this.”

  “Do what?”

  “I want to have sex with you.”

  Damn. I wanted that more than anything. “I want to, too.” Reaching over to my jeans, I grabbed my wallet and pulled out the condom I kept there just in case this was to ever happen.

  Vann watched as I opened the packet. I took the small rubber ring and tried to pull it down, but it wouldn’t go. I kept looking down, not wanting to make eye contact with Vann and show her how much of a tool I was.

  I turned the condom over and it instantly rolled down my shaft. I looked up at Vann who was smiling at me. “Good job,” she jabbed.

  “Hey, at least I got it.” I smirked, not wanting to show any embarrassment. I pulled Vann to me kissing her while laying her down on the blanket. Rising up, I positioned myself. She was very wet so I hoped it would help get it in.

  I slowly began to push inside of her. I lay on top of her with my weight resting on my elbows. Leaning down to kiss her, I felt my dick slowly sliding into her. The pressure was so intense.

  I didn’t want to hurt her, but I needed in.

  “Vann, this may hurt. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay. I’m happy it’s you.” Vann’s megawatt smile stole my heart. I was so in love with this girl.

  I closed my eyes, knowing I was going to hurt her; how badly I wasn’t sure, but I was scared to see the look on her face. As I pushed, I heard Vann’s gasp of pain. My eyes flew open meeting hers. I could see tears welling up, and it crushed me that I did that to her.

  As I stilled inside of her, I just wanted to get out so maybe that would stop her pain. “I’m so sorry, Vann.”

  “Deke. It’s okay. Give me a minute.” I began to pull out. “Stop!” Her voice made me freeze in place. “Don’t stop. Just give me a minute.” She closed her eyes and tried to slowly breathe in and out.

  I stayed there, frozen, waiting for something … but had no clue what. For her to say something, for a look in her eye, I had no clue. “Are you okay?” I finally whispered.

  Vann’s eyes opened to mine. “Yeah. You need to start moving now.”

  I slowly started to move, watching her face for any signs of pain. I kept going and going. She felt so good. I felt the telltale sign that I was about to blow by the tingle in my spine.

  “Vann, I’m gonna come.”

  Vann looked up at me, “I am, too,” she panted.

  Vann began yelling my name and gripping me, pulling me farther into her. I reared back with one more thrust, spilling into the latex.

  Trying to catch my breath, I looked into Vann’s smiling face. “I love you,” I said so softly, I didn’t think she heard me.

  “I love you, too, Deke.”

  “What are you going to do?” Z’s voice snapped me out of one of my best memories.

  “I’ll figure it out.”

  “Fine,” Z growled. “I’m out.” Z turned, walking out the door.

  Someone
was trying to hurt Vann. My Vann. There was no way in hell I would allow that to happen.

  “You knew?” I half-yelled at Sawyer and Kinsley. How could my best friends not tell me about Z?

  “It wasn’t a big deal.” Kinsley rolled her eyes.

  “It just would have been nice to know. I don’t like being blindsided by shit.” My voice was laced with anger.

  “Sorry,” Sawyer said sheepishly.

  “Z wants us all to hang out. Well us, him, and Deke,” I added.

  “Really? How do you feel about that?” Kinsley asked skeptically.

  “It is what it is. If I’m gonna live here, I need to get over this. Move on.”

  Kinsley smiled her beautiful smile. “Atta girl.”

  Laying around the living room in our pjs, the three of us sat eating chocolate ice cream, gabbing. I’d missed this. I’d missed them.

  The pounding on the front door had Sawyer, Kinsley, and me groaning and covering our faces. We’d obviously fallen asleep. After who knew how much sex talk last night, we fell asleep in the living room just like old times.

  The pounding kept getting worse. “Who is it?” Kinsley croaked.

  “Hell if I know. I’ll get it.” Getting up, I wrapped my hair up in a ponytail and wiped my face. Looking out the peephole, I saw Z standing there in a very nice suit.

  “It’s Z,” I announced to the girls. I heard Sawyer groan before opening the door.

  “Hey. What’s up?” my sleepy self questioned.

  “Well, look at you.” His eyes wandered up and down my body. Shit. The tank with no bra and short shorts was giving him quite a show.

  “You’re my cousin, knock it off.” I scowled.

  “Not by blood.” He winked. “I’m thinking we need to go back to the no-relation thing, and Deke can kiss my ass.”

  Rolling my eyes, I said, “Shut up. What do ya need?”

  Z peered around me. “You have a slumber party last night and not invite me?”

  “Yep and nope.”

  “Damn. Hey ladies.” Z gave a small wave while staring at Kinsley and Sawyer.

  “Hey Z,” Kinsley croaked right before Sawyer nodded her hello.

  “Shit, if you ladies dress in pretty much nothing for bed every night, I’m coming over here early every morning.” He winked at Sawyer who blushed.

  “Z, it’s early, what do you need?” I needed to get his mind back to why the hell he was waking us up at the ass crack of dawn.

  “I’m actually on official police business. Can I talk to you in private?” His eyes turned serious.

  “Sure. Come on in. I need to put some clothes on.”

  “Don’t on my account,” he charged back.

  “Don’t be a horny jackass. Go sit out on the deck. I’ll be there in a minute.” My head nodded toward the sliding glass doors.

  “But I don’t want to miss this view.” His arm gestured at the women lying on the couches.

  “Go.” I pushed him out the door and quickly changed.

  “What’s up?” I asked as I walked out on to the deck.

  “Thought you could tell me about Gabriella Daniels.”

  I felt as if my blood left my body, leaving me cold. “Shit. You know.” It wasn’t a question.

  “Yes, I do, you sexy porn writer.”

  “I’m not a porn writer.” I glowered. “I’m an erotic romance writer. There is a difference.”

  “Whatever.” Z rolled his eyes. “Anyway, tell me what’s going on?”

  “You already know.” I stared out at the woods lining the property.

  “Tell me your view,” Z’s voice was curt and abrupt.

  I turned to Z, seeing his arms crossed over his chest, his gray eyes staring intently at me as if he meant business. “This stays just between us. There are only a few people who know I’m Gabriella.”

  “Yep. It’s marked confidential.”

  Sighing, I pressed on, “I started writing after I left here. I needed an escape so I just started. Anyway, I used a pen name because I didn’t want anyone to know I was Gabriella. Everything was great until one of my guy fans went too far and freaked me out. I haven’t heard from him in a few months so I’m hoping he gave up.”

  “You don’t have your legal name out there anywhere?”

  “Nope. I never put it out there. Now, I’m not stupid either. I know the internet is my biggest enemy. If someone was savvy enough and they knew their way around a computer, I’m sure they could link Gabriella Daniels to me. But I don’t think Gary, or whoever he is, is that way.”

  “You don’t think?” Z’s eyebrow shot up as if he thought I was being naive.

  “He’s only sent letters and packages. He’s never made in-person contact.”

  “All right. You get anything or hear anything you come directly to me. Got it?”

  “Got it.”

  “Now that that’s over, let’s talk about this date.” Z uncrossed his arms and followed me to the lounge chair.

  “Already?” I asked, thinking it had only been a day since I told him I’d do it.

  “Yep. Tonight. Meet us at Sully’s.”

  I groaned. “Really?”

  “Yep. See you tonight.”

  Sully’s was hopping. People were packed wall-to-wall, leaving barely any space when we entered. Taking the corner booth, Kinsley, Sawyer, and I decided to start with tequila shots.

  “One, two, three … go.”

  Pounding back our drinks, I searched the crowd for Deke; I couldn’t stop myself. I just wanted a glance.

  Moving slowly toward our table, Z approached with Deke on his tail. My mouth watered at the sight of him. His jeans looked as if they were custom made with the way they hung off his hips. His t-shirt fit like a glove, showing off his unbelievably muscular arms and hot as hell tattoos. When my eyes lifted to his, I pulled my glance away.

  “Hey ladies. You look beautiful tonight.” Z’s voice had my eyes traveling to him.

  “Hi Vann.” Deke’s voice was low and utterly delicious.

  “Hey.” I smirked and turned away from him.

  “Hey cuz! How’s it going?”

  “Oh, so now we’re back to cuz. That’s not what you said this morning,” I said teasingly as Z slid in the booth next to Kinsley and Sawyer leaving Deke to slide in next to me. His smell, the one that engulfed me every time I was near, was already sending me into a tailspin.

  “I can’t help it you were half naked this morning. It was a hot way to start my day.” The sound that came from Deke was fierce causing me to jump. Z smiled. “You should have seen it this morning, all these beautiful ladies, barely any clothes on. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.” Z’s arm reached around Sawyer, as a small smile played on her lips.

  With Deke sitting so close, I could feel the tension coming off his body. I tried not to react to it and join in the conversation.

  “Vann?” Nerves were about to crush me, but I held it together at the sound of his voice.

  Turning slowly, I looked in his beautiful blue eyes. “Yeah?”

  “You gonna talk to me or ignore me all night?” The tension in his face was still there, but the tone of his voice was calm.

  I, as Grams put it, pulled up my big girl panties. “You kissed me goodbye. Remember?”

  “Still pissed about that?”

  “Not at all.” I smiled, knowing it wouldn’t be a full one.

  Deke grabbed my arm. “Come on, we need to talk.”

  I didn’t fight as he led me away from the table toward an empty table in the back. “So, you gonna tell me why you left?”

  “You gonna tell me why you never called?”

  “I was pissed. You left when I needed you.” He shrugged his shoulder.

  “So, instead of calling me and talking, you just cut me out. You didn’t answer my calls, texts, or emails?” My anger rose.

  “I was a teenager. What did you expect?”

  “I was a teenager and didn’t have a choice. I expected you to be by my side l
ike I was for you.” I bit out angrily not even realizing where that was coming from. Deke stared at me as if he didn’t know what to say. Good, maybe I gave him something to think about for a change. “I need a break. Move,” I brushed past Deke. “I’m going to the restroom girls, be back in a few.”

  I needed air. A lot of air.

  The bathroom was dark and small, but clean. Sitting down, I laid my head in my hands. What in the hell was I going to do? What the hell was I thinking, being ‘friends’ with Deke?

  A woman’s loud voice boomed as she walked into the bathroom. “Can you believe he blew me off?”

  “No. I can’t,” some random other girl answered.

  “I guess I need to wait ‘til later, but Deke will be mine tonight.”

  “He’ll be up for it. I hear he always is.”

  “I’m ready for my turn. I’ve waited too damn long for him.”

  As I sit there listening to this conversation, I could only wonder when I would get my chance with him. How sick was that?

  “Just flash your boobs and he’ll come.” The woman laughed.

  “He is a boob guy,” she said, adjusting her boobs and pulling them so her cleavage was spilling out.

  I could hear the smile in her voice. Looking down at my own cleavage, I reached my hand in and push them up a bit more, showing even more. What was I doing? Ugh.

  Hearing the door slam, I finally escaped the bathroom. I thought I needed space from Deke, but now I needed space from the bathroom. Why did these women act like this?

  I shouldn’t give a shit. Fuck him.

  Heading to the bar, I needed a drink—a strong one. Ordering tequila shots, I begin shooting them one by one. Glancing over at our table, Deke’s eyes were boring into mine.

  Quickly, I looked away, slammed another shot and headed out to the dance floor. At least out there, I could get lost in the music and just move. Closing my eyes, my body began to move. The fog in my mind caused by Deke started to slowly clear.

  I felt arms grip my hips, and upon turning saw a handsome man with blonde hair and a strong jaw smiling at me. Leaning down to my ear, he said, “I’m Blake.”