The Memory of You

by Laurie Kellogg

  He grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the bathroom, whispering, “Royce’s father is abusive, isn’t he?”

  “I think so.”

  “Why the hell haven’t you reported him to the authorities?”

  “I’ve picked up the phone a dozen times. But I just can’t do that to Lucy. The state would take Royce away, and I know in my heart he’d probably be worse off in foster care. By keeping him here, at least he’s not around the bastard that much.”

  “There is that. I guess you’re in a no-win situation.”

  The boys’ giggling yanked her attention to the bathroom.

  “Relax. They’re more than old enough to handle this on their own. You can check on them in a little while. Believe me, Tommy’s getting to an age where he doesn’t want his mommy in the bathroom with him while he’s bathing.”

  She hadn’t really considered that. “I guess you’re right.”

  “By the way, I noticed a couple of the neighbors’ trash cans on the curb.”

  “Oh, darn. I forgot about putting them out.”

  “I’ll take care of it,” he called, heading toward the back door.

  She hesitated in the hall a moment, listening to the boys laugh. When the water turned off, she dashed into her bedroom. She didn’t want them thinking she didn’t trust them.

  She changed into gray slacks and a pale pink sweater set. After she finished putting on a little make-up, she peeked into Tommy’s room and found the kids already in their pajamas, playing Sorry with Mac. The shower really had been a lot faster.

  Robert arrived a moment later, and when she opened the door, he slid his arms around her to kiss her. “Ummm. You smell and look good enough to eat. What’d you do, sell the kids?”

  “No.” She told Rob about finding Mac in the garage that morning and how much patience he had with the boys. “I hate the idea of him sleeping on a cold concrete floor.”

  “I don’t believe you, Abby.” He tossed his address book on the end table next to the sofa. “It’s bad enough you’re letting this guy you don’t know a damn thing about to paint your house. I swear, you’d take in a stray rattlesnake if you thought it was in need. I don’t like the idea of him staying here, even if it is in the garage.”

  “Actually, he’s so nice, I was thinking of letting him use the guest room.”

  “Don’t you dare let him sleep in the house!”

  “Why not? I don’t know about you, Rob, but I believe when we die we’ll have to account for the way we treated people. That man saved my child’s life. If he intended to hurt me, don’t you think he would’ve done it by now?”

  “Not necessarily. Maybe he’s trying to lull you into a false sense of security. Has it occurred to you he might be cozying up to you because he’s into little boys?”

  “Yes, I’ve considered it. Tonight, I watched him when the boys undressed for their showers, and the only reaction Mac had was fury after seeing Royce’s bruises. If you believe a deviant could have that kind of compassion for a child, then you’re more paranoid than—”

  “I’m not paranoid. If you trust him with Tommy, fine. I simply don’t want some strange man staying with my fiancée.”

  “Why? Don’t you trust me?”

  “Of course, I do. It’s him I don’t trust.”

  Huffing, she poked his chest. “You haven’t even met Mac.”

  “Look, I don’t trust any guy with you. Particularly one who was held prisoner for years.” He nuzzled her neck. “He’s probably sex-starved, and you’re a beautiful, sexy woman. I don’t want this fellow thinking he can make a move on you.”

  “My bedroom door has a lock, so in the end, it comes back to you trusting me.”

  Mac cleared his throat in the archway. She recoiled from Rob.

  “I just wanted to tell you we’ve finished the game. I’m going to read the boys a story and then head out to the garage.”

  “Thank you. Mac, this is Robert Webber, my fiancé. Rob, I’d like you to meet Mac.”

  The two men shook hands, and Rob’s eyes narrowed to two slits. “Abby tells me you’re one of the POWs who were just released. How long did they have you?”

  “Almost seven years.”

  “A long time. Are you planning on shaving off that beard?”

  “No.” Mac crossed his arms. “Why?”

  Rob shrugged. “I’ve never trusted guys with beards. I feel like they’re trying to hide something.”

  “Well, I am.” Mac snorted. “My sunken cheeks. If I walked around looking emaciated, it might make some people uncomfortable.” When he peered pointedly at the paunch hanging over Robert’s belt, her fiancé had the good grace to look abashed.

  Mac motioned toward the hallway. “Once I’m finished reading to the boys, I’ll tuck ‘em in for you, Abby. I’ll see you at breakfast.” He extended his hand to Robert. “It was a pleasure to meet you. I won’t disturb you again.”

  Rob shook his hand and once Mac left, Abby said, “Do you see? Can you honestly say he seems as if he’s up to no good?”

  “No, I suppose not. I guess I’m just a little jealous. I know it’s silly. After all, he’s practically old enough to be your father. And he is pretty much of a scarecrow.”

  “Scarecrow? Mac may be a little thin right now, but I plan on feeding him well enough for him to put one some weight.”

  Robert glowered at her. “Damn it, Abby. Why do you always have to be such a bleeding heart? Let the bean pole take care of himself.”

  “I can’t. And if you’d seen his face this morning when he had to admit he had no place to go, you wouldn’t feel that way. If you have a problem with him being here, we should call off the wedding. I don’t want a husband who has no compassion.”

  He looked down at her and sighed, promptly changing the subject. “I was thinking about our honeymoon today. How about we spend a couple of days alone at a one of the resorts in the Poconos while my mom watches Tommy? Then we can take him with us to that new Disney park in Florida.”

  Relief flooded through her at hearing Robert was willing to include Tommy for part of the week. “That sounds great. Do you think we could bring Royce with us, too?”

  Rob released a huff. “Abby, taking on one man’s child is more than enough for me. I don’t need Bill Harmon’s kid around all the time.”

  Granted, Royce wasn’t hers, but Abby loved him as if he were. Rob had no idea how much she struggled with the guilt of coveting her friend’s child. “I’ve been taking care of Royce since he was born. I’m not about to cut him out of my life.”

  “I don’t expect you to. He’s a nice kid, but I don’t want you watching him all the time. Once we’re married, I’d like you to move to my house. It’s bigger. You can sell this place and put the money away for Tommy.”

  She’d love having the extra living space Robert’s four bedroom colonial would provide, but not enough to give up seeing Royce every day.

  “Tommy can’t handle that much change all at once. He’ll have enough to adjust to suddenly having a father. Losing his best friend at the same time would devastate him.”

  “Fine.” Rob raised his hands in surrender. “We’ll wait a little while.”

  In other words, he would put off arguing about it until after she said I do. If he thought she would cave in on the issue once they were husband and wife, he had another think coming.

  Peter maintained that as soon Rob began living with Tommy, he would begin to feel like his dad. After seeing the way her son basked in Mac’s attention, her brother’s theory seemed a lot less likely.

  ~~~

  Matt sat at the head of Tommy’s bed with the two boys cuddled on either side of him. He took the ragged stuffed bear from under his son’s arm and studied it. The bald patches in its fur testified to how loved it was. “So, what’s this little fella’s name?”

  “My daddy called him Mr. T. Bear. So I do, too.”

  How could he have? Tommy hadn’t even been born when he’d left the States. Maybe Abby ha
d made the story up to make their son feel loved by him.

  “Mommy says my dad mailed him to me from the Army.”

  He hoped it was true. It felt good to think Tommy had cherished something from him all the years he’d been gone. He tucked the animal back under his son’s arm and opened the first of the two books the boys had chosen.

  Both kids fell asleep before Matt even finished reading the first story. He sighed and laid his head back. The last four days had been so great. No one had hurt him. He’d had a full belly and the company of a beautiful, sexy woman. And he had a son. What more could a man ask for?

  He stroked the blonde head lying against his chest. Two sons? It made his blood boil that Royce’s father could hurt such an innocent child.

  He looked down at Tommy. Robert hadn’t even bothered to come say hello to the kid let alone spend any time with him. Matt doubted the jerk would ever neglect or abuse the boy, but he certainly didn’t seem overly anxious to be a dad to him.

  Closing his eyes, Matt struggled to draw a breath, picturing Abby’s face when he’d stared into her eyes earlier. He’d thought he’d seen a flicker of recognition, but maybe it had just been wishful thinking. The varied shades of green in her gaze were the same as the eyes in his dreams. The harder he tried to remember her, the more his chest hurt.

  Pulling the kids closer, he pressed a kiss to each of their heads. He was already getting attached to the boys, and he liked Abby more and more the better he got to know her. She had a kind heart and a lot of spunk.

  Dr. Grant had been right on the money about his wife’s independence and not needing him. In fact, she didn’t seem to want or need anyone.

  He doubted she’d been that self-reliant when he’d married her. She couldn’t have been much more than eighteen. Or, at least, he hoped she’d been that old. She’d probably changed as much since then as he had. If she really loved that pompous windbag, Robert, it didn’t bode well for her wanting to stay married to Matt.

  He gingerly pushed himself off the mattress and moved Royce to the other bed. As he left Tommy’s room, he couldn’t help noticing how quiet the house was. He refused to imagine what was going on in the living room. But more important than that, he didn’t want to witness it.

  There was no way he could sneak out the back door without passing the archway to the living room. Instead, he leaned back against the wall and slumped to the floor across from Tommy’s room to wait. As soon as he heard Abby and Robert talking again, he would make a hasty exit.

  It made sense that they must be lovers. After all, they were engaged, and it wasn’t as if Abby was a virgin. It wouldn’t surprise Matt if—on the first afternoon he’d seen her fiancé at the house—the jerk had dropped in for a quickie between patients before the boys came home from school.

  For that matter, Robert probably wasn’t the only guy Abby had slept with. Matt winced at the knot of resentment in his gut. He barely knew her, so why did the idea of her getting naked with another man bother him so much?

  He would have to have some sort of romantic feelings for Abby to classify his reaction as jealousy. He couldn’t claim to be in love with her. He hardly knew her. It had to be simply the proprietary feelings of being her husband. Otherwise, why should he give a damn if she slept with someone else?

  And he did care. So much he had to fight the urge to stomp into the living room to tell Abby who he was and demand Robert take his stinking paws off his wife.

  It only proved modern males hadn’t evolved much from their caveman ancestors. He didn’t want another man touching his woman—whether he remembered her or not.

  ~~~

  At a little after ten, a soft tap sounded on the back door. Abby smiled, opening it to let Lucy in. “Hi, how was your day?”

  “Exhausting.” Her friend sighed. “How was Royce? I hope he wasn’t any trouble.”

  “You know he’s always an angel. I barely know he’s here, half the time.”

  Lucy stuck her head through the archway and waved to Robert as she passed the living room. “Hi, Rob, I’ll be out of your hair in just a second.”

  Abby led her friend down the hall to Tommy’s bedroom and stopped short when she found Mac propped against the wall on the floor across from Tommy’s open door, snoring softly. It appeared as if he’d been reluctant to end his evening with the boys and had nodded off while watching them sleep—something she often couldn’t resist doing.

  Rob was crazy. Mac wasn’t trying to get into her bed. After living with no physical affection or human kindness, he simply craved the unconditional love the kids gave so freely.

  Lucy’s forehead wrinkled, and she whispered. “Isn’t that the guy who’s painting your house?”

  “Yeah. I’m not surprised he dozed off here. I found him sleeping on the floor of my garage this morning. I’m sure he didn’t get much rest on a slab of concrete.”

  “Aren’t you a little worried about him and the kids? You know....”

  “I was at first, but after watching him with them, I’m sure he’s not up to anything funny. You should see the way he listens to them. It’s as if he’s really interested in what they have to say.”

  “Isn’t that what sickos who have a thing for little kids do best? Win children’s trust?”

  “Now you sound like Rob. This guy is just starved for human contact. And you know nobody has more love to give than our boys. When you see Mac’s eyes, you’ll understand. They look like an abused puppy’s after being repeatedly kicked.”

  “Wounded animals bite just the same,” Lucy muttered out of the side of her mouth.

  “Luce, the man is well-educated and has the manners of an Emily Post graduate. He says grace like a preacher, pulls my chair out at dinner, and even clears the table afterward.” Abby glanced down at him. “After the years of hell he’s been through, I can’t treat him as if he’s some sort of pariah or worry he’s trying to win my confidence so he can take advantage of me. His reward for serving our country shouldn’t be to come home to a world that doesn’t trust him.”

  She touched Mac’s shoulder to wake him and a tortured sound ripped from his chest. He bolted upright, his eyes wide with terror.

  “Shhh....it’s okay, Mac.”

  He stared up at her vacantly, panting as if he’d run a marathon. “I’m sorry. I must’ve dozed off.” He glanced up at her friend standing next to her. “Hi, I’m Mac. You must be Lucy.” He pushed himself to his feet. “You’ve got a great kid.”

  “Thanks. He is wonderful. I’ll just take him and get going.” Lucy slipped by them into Tommy’s room to pick up her son.

  “Whoa.” Mac followed and quickly stopped her. He lifted Royce to his shoulder. “He’s too heavy for you. Let me carry him.”

  “Thank you, I appreciate it. At the rate he’s growing, pretty soon I’ll have to start waking him up to take him home.” Lucy led the way to the kitchen and whispered to Abby, “I see what you mean about his eyes. He seems very nice.”

  When they got to the door, Mac turned. “I’ll see you in the morning, Abby. Thanks again for everything. Dinner was incredible, as usual.”

  Even Lucy agreed he was probably just hurting and lonely. She couldn’t let him sleep on the damp concrete floor. “Mac? Come back in the house. You can use my guestroom.”

  He glanced over his shoulder. “Are you sure? What about what’s-his-name? If you were my fiancée, I wouldn’t like some strange, homeless guy sleeping in your house.”

  “I don’t particularly care if Robert has a problem with it. I’m not his wife, yet. Until I am, I’ll decide who my guests will be.”

  ~~~

  Matt followed Lucy, shaking his head. He was wrong. Independent wasn’t the word for Abby. Defiant and rebellious was probably a more accurate description.

  At the house next door, he stepped into the beer-scented living room where a husky, light-haired man sat sprawled in front of the television watching a boxing match.

  Beat-on-defenseless-children Harmon pointed at Ma
tt and snarled at Lucy, “Who the fuck is he?”

  “This is Mac. He’s been painting Abby’s house.” Lucy turned to Matt. “Mac, I’d like you to meet my husband, Bill.”

  Matt held out his hand, and the man shook it with a begrudging grunt and then glared at Lucy. “What’s he doin’ here at this time of night?”

  “I’m carrying your son home. He’s too big for Lucy to haul him so far.”

  “Then she can wake the kid up. He’s perfectly capable of walking.”

  “I’m sure he is. Just like you’re capable of getting off your ass to come get him. A kid his age shouldn’t have to be woken up every night. So, as long as I’m around, I’ll be bringing Royce home.”

  Lucy laid a trembling hand on Matt’s arm. “His room is this way.”

  Why the pretty blonde woman would marry such a nasty son of a bitch was beyond him. He followed her into her son’s bedroom, and after tucking Royce in, he stroked his fair head. “Goodnight, Sport.”

  Matt turned to find Lucy smiling at him. “I want to apologize for my husband. He really didn’t—”

  “No. There’s no excuse for....” He pursed his lips. “Why do you let him talk to you that way?”

  “You don’t understand. If I argue with him, he’ll—”

  “Hit you?” he finished for her. “If that’s the case, you should leave.”

  “Bill wasn’t always like this. The gambling and drink—” She cut herself off and lifted her hands in a helpless gesture. “Besides, if I left, where would Royce and I go?”

  “Anywhere. You’re already supporting your son and yourself.”

  “What do I do when he tracks us down? And if you’re going to suggest calling the police, don’t. It wouldn’t stop him when he’s drunk. I couldn’t live with myself if he really hurt Royce.”

  “If you stay with the bastard, he eventually will, Lucy.” He waved his hand. “Never mind. I’m sorry I interfered. I should mind my own business.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “Just promise you’ll call me if he starts in on you or Royce, again.” If he heard so much as a raised voice coming from her house, he’d be calling the police.