The Memory of You

by Laurie Kellogg

  When Peter strode through the back door followed by Mac, she hollered at her brother, “You have some nerve barging into my bedroom. If you ever do anything like that again, I’m through as your sister. You got that?”

  “Okay, I’m sorry. You’re right. This is your house, and it’s your life,” Peter agreed without offering any of his usual excuses for his overprotective behavior.

  Mac punched him on the arm and chuckled. “So, you never did tell me. What did you call Abby when she was younger?”

  “Peanut.” Peter smiled and ignored the dirty look she threw him. “So how’s the bike running?”

  “Not bad. But I’ve only been out on it once, in rain so cold I froze my ass off. When I got back here, I was shaking so much Abby had to undress me.”

  She waited for her brother’s typical explosion and did a double take when it didn’t come. Instead, Peter laughed, which was so completely out of character she wondered if Mac could cast spells on people. After all, he’d talked her into sleeping with him after she’d rejected every other man since losing Matt.

  Tommy and Royce thought he was the best thing since ice cream, and she wasn’t entirely sure Mac wouldn’t even win out over that. Lucy swore he was an angel, and he even had macho Sergeant John Gilbert eating out of his hand.

  Mac’s charm was beginning to irk her. The man could probably make friends with Norman Bates if he put his mind to it. “What’d you tell my brother?”

  Peter jumped in and answered for him. “Mac just pointed out you’re two mature adults who’ve decided to become lovers, and I should butt the hell out. So that’s what I’m doing.”

  Mac stepped behind her and slid his arms around her midriff, pulling her back against his chest. “And after we give Pete breakfast, he’s going to leave us alone so we can go back to bed for the rest of the day.”

  “I don’t think so.” She pried his arms from around her. “Peter’s right. I’ve only known you ten days. Our whole relationship is moving entirely too fast.”

  Her brother waved his hand. “Don’t listen to me. The length of your relationship with Mac isn’t what’s important. It’s how well the two of you have gotten to know each other.”

  She stared at Peter, her mouth gaping. “Not well enough, apparently. Because I can’t for the life of me figure out what kind of spell Mac put you under to make you willingly butt out of my life without even a peep.”

  Her brother kissed her on the cheek. “The man talks sense, and I’m a sensible kind of guy.” He turned to Mac and pumped his hand. “Look, I just stopped by to say good-bye to Abby before I head back to Fort Dix. I’ll get out of your hair so you can go back to what you were doing.” He winked at Matt. “Call me if you need any help with....” He chuckled and turned bright crimson. “Well, you know what I mean.”

  After Peter left, Abby planted her hands on her hips. “What’d you and Pete talk about all that time?”

  “You, me, the Harley....” Mac looked up a moment as if mentally replaying his conversation. “Yup, that’s about it.” He pulled her close and kissed her, whispering into her lips. “Last night was incredible, Sweetheart. What do you say we go back to bed?”

  She pushed him away. “No. I agree it was wonderful. But I want a relationship that’s built on more than burning up the sheets.”

  He brushed an errant tendril of hair from her eyes. “You spent a year and a half with Rob, and the two of you couldn’t generate enough heat to even warm your bed up, let alone get it smoking. Setting the sheets on fire is part of falling in love. Without that, a couple might as well be roommates.”

  “But we need to find out if we can handle being roommates before we worry about sharing a bed.” She opened the refrigerator and took out the coffee and orange juice. “I meant what I said before, Mac. If you’re serious about a future together, you have to slow down.”

  He plowed his fingers through his hair. “I don’t have time to slow down, damn it!”

  ~~~

  Matt cringed inwardly when Abby glanced over her shoulder at him, confusion clouding her clear emerald eyes.

  “What do you mean you don’t have time?”

  One day, he’d learn to keep his big trap shut.

  “Uhh—nothing. I’ve just lost too many years of my life already. I don’t want to miss out on anymore of it.”

  “Well, whether you like it or not, love isn’t something you can hurry. It happens in its own time.”

  He hated to admit it, but she was right. His whole reason for waiting to reveal himself to her had been to make sure there was more to their marriage than the three-alarm fire that started every time they got close to each other. However, knowing she had a valid point didn’t ease his ache for her. And the army would be contacting her in another week or so—if not sooner.

  “Okay.” He smiled and squeezed her hand. “I see your point. I have to call the employment agencies and find a piano tuner this morning, anyway. I also want to contact the music department at Julliard to get a recommendation for a music teacher in this area.”

  “Julliard? Don’t you think you’re starting a little high on the food chain? I can’t afford the quality of teacher they’d recommend.”

  “Look, money can’t be an issue here. I’ll move heaven and earth to see he gets the chance to develop his talent.”

  “What do you mean you’ll see he gets the chance?”

  He released a frustrated huff. “Abby, you told me I could be Tommy’s dad. Which is it? Can I or not? Since you agreed, you’ve done nothing but try to snatch him back.”

  “Yes, I want you to be like a dad to him, but that doesn’t give you the rights or the responsibilities of being his father. They’re reserved for whoever I eventually marry.”

  Like hell. No way was he letting her take his parental rights and hand them over to some joker who wouldn’t give a shit about his kid. “Well, until you find yourself a husband, I’m paying for Tommy’s lessons, and that’s final.”

  With any luck, his back pay would come to more than what Abby received in benefits. He hoped he would get enough to at least get his son started.

  “No, you’re not. I’ll find the money from somewhere.” She filled the coffee carafe with water.

  He smirked to himself, watching her measure grounds into a filter. Abby was in for a rude awakening when the government discontinued her benefits and she had to accept his support. Of course, there was still the small matter of finding work so he could provide for her and Tommy. The last thing he wanted was for his wife to be forced to take a full-time job and have his son shipped off to some babysitter every day after school and all summer long.

  She threw the coffee measure back into the can. “Gifted or not, I don’t want my child turned into some compulsive little Mozart or emotionally disturbed prodigy.”

  “You can’t turn a child into a prodigy. He either is one, or he isn’t. It’s one more reason to call Julliard. Anyone they suggest won’t waste his time lying to us about whether Tommy is gifted or not.”

  When she turned away with a determined set to her chin, Matt spun her around to face him. “What’s the matter? Are you afraid to find out how good he really is? Scared you might be forced to admit a gift like his shouldn’t be left to stagnate? His talent isn’t going to go away simply because you ignore it.”

  ~~~

  Abby stared at Mac, refusing to rise to his baiting. “Stop it. You’re doing the same darn thing Matt always did. Daring me to give you your way.”

  He poured two glasses of orange juice. “I’m glad to hear the late great Matthew Foster wasn’t so damned perfect. I’m not trying to get my way. I’m attempting to make you see reason.”

  “Exactly how will it hurt my son if he’s gifted and I do nothing but hire an ordinary piano teacher?”

  “He’ll never reach his full potential. If you give him the chance, he might become another Arthur Rubinstein or Henry Mancini.”

  “If his sense of humor turns out to be anything like his fath
er’s, he’s more likely to follow in Victor Borge’s footsteps. Matt had talent that was never developed, and he never suffered for it.” She shrugged her shoulders. “So what if Tommy doesn’t end up rich and famous. Maybe he’ll be happier for it.”

  Mac stiffened, his glass of juice poised at his lips. “What do you mean your husband had talent that wasn’t developed?”

  “He had to quit piano lessons because of his family’s financial situation. His parents felt like they were depriving the world of the next Liberace.”

  “If that’s the direction he was headed, he’s lucky he had to quit.” He sipped his orange juice. “It saved him from wearing all those sequins.”

  Her breath caught in her throat. He’d made almost the same joke Matt had about it. She poured the water from the carafe into the coffeemaker. “The point is, Tommy’s father was never unhappy.”

  “Well, there’s the crux of our argument, isn’t it? You’re citing what your husband felt about it. Why don’t you consider what your son feels?”

  She buried her face in her hands. “I don’t like how much time he’s spending at the piano. He hasn’t done anything else in three days. His life shouldn’t revolve around a bunch of little black marks and eighty-eight keys.”

  Mac’s eyes narrowed to two slits. “This isn’t simply concern for him, is it? You actually sound resentful.”

  Tears rolled down her cheeks. “I am. He’s spending all his time with you at that piano. I said you could be a father to him. I didn’t mean you could steal him from me.”

  He gathered her close and kissed her hair. “Shhh....I’m not trying to take your son. I just want you to share him with me. Give him time. The novelty will wear off.”

  She sobbed into his shoulder. “On top of that, you’ve got Tommy doing everything for himself. He doesn’t need me at all anymore.”

  Mac kissed the tears from her eyes. “I understand. I really do. If I’d been the center of Tommy’s universe for the last six years, I wouldn’t want to be pushed to an outer orbit, either.”

  “I’m sorry.” She wiped her eyes. “I’m being selfish, aren’t I?”

  “No. You’re being a mother. But your son is growing up, Abby. He’s going to need you less and less. As soon as we’re sure about us, I’ll give you half a dozen babies. Then it won’t be so hard to let Tommy go.”

  His words shattered her composure like a boulder hurled at a window. She wrenched herself away from him and dashed to her bedroom. Once she locked the door, she threw herself face down on the rumpled bed and sobbed. She hadn’t felt this empty since Tommy was born and all her dreams of a large family died.

  After nearly losing her son, she should just be grateful to have him, but she couldn’t accept the empty void in her belly that graciously. Tommy was the only child she’d ever have. Mac could never understand how hard it was to let go of her only baby. And there wasn’t a doubt in her mind Mac would leave as soon as he found out she was only half a woman.

  It was a no-win situation. If she told him now, he would undoubtedly leave her. But if she waited, she might fall in love with him. Then when he rejected her, her heart would break.

  Or worse yet, what if he fell in love with her? She’d never deceived a man this way before. It wasn’t fair not to tell Mac about herself. She just didn’t know how to do it without scaring him off.

  The thought of him walking away was already too painful to even contemplate. And what would it do to Tommy?

  ~~~

  Matt stared at the empty hallway in shock. What had he said wrong? He followed Abby’s sobs to her bedroom and knocked on the locked door, jiggling the knob. “Sweetheart, let me in.”

  “Just go away, Mac. Now, before you hurt me.”

  “Why do you think I’d hurt you? Come on, Babe, open up.” Dead silence followed, broken only by a sniffle. “Abby, please. I don’t understand.”

  When she still didn’t answer, he wandered back to the kitchen in a quandary. There had to be more eating her besides her feelings about Tommy and the piano. Other than their dispute over their son’s musical training, everything had been going great.

  He picked up the phone’s receiver. Whether Abby liked it or not, he intended to find his son a first-rate music teacher.

  ~~~

  After speaking to the dean at Julliard, Matt called Bernard Heller, an ex-concert pianist who apparently had opened a renowned music academy in Bucks County. When he heard about Tommy’s progress over the past three days, Heller was eager to see him right away—so much so, he’d offered to come to the house that very evening.

  Somehow Matt had to find a way to prepare Abby so she didn’t slam the door in the guy’s face. Of course, he had to get her to talk to him, first.

  The house needed another few hours to dry out from the previous evening’s rain. So, after calling a piano tuner and leaving messages at the two employment agencies he’d registered with, Matt tromped down to the basement to work.

  Shortly before noon, the overhead lights flashed. He turned off the drill and heard Abby calling him to the phone. He trotted up the steps, praying it was about a job. He took the receiver from her and laid a kiss on her cheek. “Thanks, Babe.”

  Rob’s voice surprised him. “Hey, Matt, I wanted to call you and thank you for giving me Kate’s number.”

  “You called her, already?”

  “I not only called her, I also talked her into meeting me for a drink last night.”

  Apparently the good doctor was as lonely as Matt suspected.

  “You weren’t lying about her legs. We talked until five this morning.” Robert yawned. “I’m so damn tired I’ll be lucky if I don’t pull the wrong tooth and get sued.”

  “That’s great. Not about being sued, of course. I had a feeling the two of you would hit it off.”

  “Well, I decided your generosity deserves a little quid pro quo. One of the patients I saw this morning was Donald Albright, the director of personnel at TDI Electronics. The cutting-edge technology TDI has developed in the last ten years has made them the Holy Grail for engineers in the biomedical field. You have an appointment to see Albright at two today, if you want it.”

  “Are you crazy? Of course, I want it. Did you tell him my memory’s been compromised?” Matt released a cynical snort. “Or were there some sharp instruments involved in persuading him?”

  Rob laughed. “He knows all about your situation.”

  “And he still wants to see me? Thanks a bunch. I owe you.”

  Matt hung up and explained to Abby what Rob had done. “So I guess I’ll have to forget about painting today.”

  She slid her arms around his waist. “I’m so happy for you. Go get cleaned up while I put lunch on the table.”

  “Thanks.” He kissed her gently and cupped her chin. “What were you so upset over earlier?”

  “Nothing. I was just being an unpredictable female.”

  Or it was almost that time of the month. At least she was talking to him again.

  After planting a kiss on her cheek, he trotted into the bedroom, whistling. He couldn’t get his hopes up too high. His chances of landing a position at such a giant in the industry were slim, at best. The interview was probably just the result of a guy placating his dentist. After all, saying no to someone holding a drill wasn’t wise. Although, even if Rob had threatened to withhold the Novocain, he’d at least gotten Matt a chance to step up to the plate. Now it was up to him to hit one out of the park.

  He showered, shaved, and put on his suit. After fishing two copies of his résumé out of the duffel bag, he folded the pages into thirds and slipped them inside his jacket.

  Abby smiled at him from the doorway. “Lunch is ready whenever you are.”

  He patted his pocket, making sure he had a pen. “Thanks.” He tossed the duffel bag into the closet and followed her to the kitchen. A steaming bowl of vegetable soup and two tuna sandwiches sat at his place. “That doesn’t look like it came out of a can. When did you have time to make s
oup?”

  “I took it out of the freezer while you and Peter were holding your little peace powwow this morning.”

  “I’d think you’d be happy your brother and I’ve become friends.”

  “I am. I guess I’d simply like to know what you said to make him act so out of character. And to Rob, too, for that matter. Peter’s been acting like an overprotective father since my dad was killed.”

  “He feels responsible for you.”

  Abby rolled her eyes. “That’s an understatement. You should see the way he behaved when he caught Matt kissing my breast after our first date.

  No. It’d been their second date. Suddenly, the image of Abby hanging on her brother’s arm while Peter attempted to clobber him flashed through Matt’s head. As quickly as the memory took shape, it disappeared like a phantom.

  She shook him gently. “Mac, you zoned out on me again.”

  “Huh?” He settled into his seat at the table. “You kept Pete from beating the crap out of him, right?”

  “How’d you know—”

  “It only makes sense.” He took a sip of his soup. “Especially since you obviously liked the guy enough to let him take second base on the first date.”

  She stared at him a moment. “Matt called it that, too.”

  His big mouth just never quit putting him on the spot.

  “All guys do.” He mumbled past a mouthful of sandwich. “Of course, what Matt was doing should probably be classified as leading off of second. Third base is—”

  “Okay. I get the gist. Matt told me he considered it our second date since he’d come for dinner the night before.”

  Somehow he’d known it hadn’t been their first date.

  “I had to ask him to kiss me goodnight. He told me he’d planned to go for second base when he’d asked me out. But I think he fell in love with me that night.”

  “Fell in love with you?” He sputtered, nearly choking on his soup. “Don’t you think maybe he was giving you a line? Using reverse psychology?

  Her forehead puckered. “Reverse—”

  “You know, tell a girl he changed his mind about seducing her, and then let her ego do the rest. No woman likes to think a fellow can resist her.”