Chapter 850(187)
‘“Rama said, ‘O beautiful one! In the sight of all the worlds, to the supreme extent of my capacity, I have shown great manliness. But in battle, I have not been able to establish my superiority over Bhishma, supreme among those who wield weapons, even though I exhibited my supreme weapons. This is the ultimate of my power. This is the ultimate of my strength. O fortunate one! Go wherever you wish. What else can I do for you? Seek refuge with Bhishma. There is no other recourse for you. Unleashing his great weapons, Bhishma has vanquished me.’”
‘Bhishma said, “Having spoken in this way, the great-minded Rama sighed and was silent. The maiden then spoke to the descendant of the Bhrigu lineage. ‘O illustrious one! It is just as your illustrious self has said. The intelligent Bhishma is invincible in battle, even to the gods. You have performed my task to the best of your capacity and the best of your endeavours. In this battle, you have been unrestrained in valour and have used many weapons. But in the end, he could not be surpassed in battle. Under no circumstances, will I go back to Bhishma again. O one rich in austerities! O extender of the Bhrigu lineage! Instead, I will go where I can myself bring Bhishma down in battle.’ Her eyes red with anger, the maiden spoke in this way. Thinking about my death, she made up her mind to engage in austerities. O descendant of the Bharata lineage! After taking leave from me, Rama, supreme among the Bhrigu lineage, went with the sages to Mahendra, from where he had come. Praised by the brahmanas, I ascended my chariot and having entered the city, told my mother, Satyavati, everything that had transpired. O great king! She congratulated me. I instructed wise men to watch over the maiden’s doings and from one day to another, they reported to me her goings, words and deeds. Every day, they were engaged in ensuring my welfare. From the moment the maiden left for the forest to perform austerities, I was miserable and wretched. It was as if I had lost my senses. O son!67 No kshatriya can vanquish me in battle with valour, except one who knows about the brahman, has performed austerities and is rigid in his vows.
‘“O king! Because of my fear, I informed Narada and Vyasa about her deeds. Both of them told me, ‘O Bhishma! You should not be despondent about the deeds of the daughter of Kashi. Through human efforts, who can counteract destiny?’ O great king! The maiden resorted to a circle of hermitages that was on the banks of the Yamuna and engaged in superhuman austerities. She gave up food. She became thin and coarse. She had matted hair. She became covered with dirt and mud. Rich in austerities, she lived on air for six months and was like a pillar. Later, the beautiful one went to the banks of the Yamuna and stood in the water for one year, without taking any food. After that, for another year, she survived on a single leaf every day. She was terrible in her anger and stood on the tips of her toes. She continued in this way for twelve years and heated up heaven. None of her relatives were capable of restraining her. She went to Vatsabhumi,68 frequented by siddhas and charanas. This was the hermitage of great-souled ascetics whose deeds were sacred. In that sacred region, she bathed day and night. O king! O Kouravya! The maiden from Kashi roamed around, as she willed, in the hermitage of Nanda, in the sacred hermitage of Uluka, the hermitage of Chyavana, the region of the brahman, Prayaga, the sacrificial region of the gods, the forests of the gods, Bhogavati, the hermitage of Koushika, the hermitage of Mandavya, the hermitage of Dilipa, Rama’s lake69 and the hermitage of Pailagargya. O king! O lord of the earth! The maiden from Kashi bathed at these tirthas and performed terrible austerities.
‘“O Kouraveya! My mother arose from the water and asked her, ‘O fortunate one! Why are you undergoing this pain? Tell me truthfully.’ O king! The unblemished one joined her hands in salutation and replied, ‘O one with the beautiful eyes! Bhishma has not been defeated by Rama in battle. When he raises his arrows, who else can strive against that lord of the earth? I will myself observe extremely difficult austerities for Bhishma’s destruction. O goddess! I will roam around the earth in order to kill that king. May this be the fruit that I obtain in another body.’ The river that goes to the ocean then said, ‘O beautiful one! You are following a crooked path. O one with the unblemished limbs! O lady! This desire of yours is impossible to accomplish. O maiden from Kashi! O beautiful one! If you observe a vow for Bhishma’s destruction, if you indeed give up your body in this vow, you will only become a crooked river that has water during the rainy season. You will have terrible tirthas that no one will recognize. You will only flow during the rains and will remain dry for eight months. You will have terrible and fearful crocodiles and will be horrible to all beings.’ O king! Having spoken thus, my immensely fortunate and beautiful mother smiled and tried to restrain the maiden from Kashi.
‘“The one with the beautiful complexion did not eat or drink water, sometimes for eight months, sometimes for ten months. O Kourvaya! In her desire for more tirthas, the daughter of the king of Kashi again roamed around and fell into70 Vatsabhumi. O descendant of the Bharata lineage! She became a river in Vatsabhumi, known as Amba.71 She only flows in the rainy season. She has many crocodiles and terrible tirthas. She is crooked. O king! Through her austerities, half of the maiden became a river in Vatsa. The other half remained a maiden.”’
Chapter 851(188)
‘Bhishma said, “All the ascetics saw that she was firm in her resolution to perform austerities. O son!72 They tried to stop her and asked, ‘What do you wish to accomplish?’ The rishis were aged in their austerities and the maiden replied to them, ‘I have been abandoned by Bhishma and have been dislodged from the dharma I would have obtained through a husband. O ones rich in austerities! I have consecrated myself for his death and not for the sake of any world.73 I have resolved that I will achieve peace only through Bhishma’s death. It is because of his deeds that I have obtained this eternal and infinite misery. I have been deprived of the world of a husband. I am neither a woman, nor a man. O ones rich in austerities! I will not desist until I have slain Gangeya in battle. This is the resolution in my heart and I am engaged for this purpose. I am disgusted with my state as a woman and I have made up my mind to become a man. I wish to exact vengeance on Bhishma. I should not be dissuaded again.’ The god who wields the trident, Uma’s consort, manifested himself. In the midst of the maharshis, he showed his own form to the beautiful one. He satisfied her with a boon and she asked for my defeat. The god replied to the intelligent one, ‘You will kill him.’ At this, the maiden spoke to Rudra. ‘O god! How can a woman like me be victorious in battle? O Uma’s consort! Since I am a woman, my mind is deep.74 O lord of beings! You have promised Bhishma’s defeat. O one with the bull on the banner!75 Act so that your promise comes true, so that I can kill Bhishma, Shantanu’s son, in battle.’ The Mahadeva, with the bull on his banner, spoke truthfully to the maiden. ‘O fortunate one! I do not utter false words. What I have said will come true. You will attain manhood and will kill Bhishma in battle. When you enter another body, you will remember everything. You will be born as a maharatha in Drupada’s lineage. You will be an extremely honoured warrior who is swift in the use of weapons. O fortunate one! Everything will be exactly as I have said it will be. You will become a man after some time has passed.’ Having thus spoken, Mahadeva Kapardi Vrishadhvaja76 disappeared, while all the brahmanas looked on. In the sight of those maharshis, the unblemished one, the one with the beautiful complexion, gathered wood from the forest. She constructed an extremely large funeral pyre and set fire to it. O great king! When the fire was blazing, with rage igniting her senses, she said, ‘This is for Bhishma’s destruction.’ O king! On the banks of the Yamuna, the eldest daughter of Kashi entered the fire.”’
Chapter 852(189)
‘Duryodhana asked, “O Gangeya! How did the one who had been a maiden earlier become Shikhandi? O grandfather! O foremost among men in a battle! Tell me that.”
‘Bhishma said, “O Indra among kings! O lord of the earth! The beloved wife and queen of King Drupada did not have any sons. O great king! At that time, King Drupada satisfied Shankara for the
sake of an offspring. Having determined to bring about our death, he resorted to terrible austerities.77 He said, ‘O illustrious one! I wish to have a son to exact vengeance on Bhishma.’ But he obtained a daughter from Mahadeva, not a son. The god of gods replied, ‘You will have a female child, who will be male. O lord of the earth! Return. It will not be otherwise.’ He returned to the city and told his wife, ‘O queen! I have made endeavours for a son and have performed great austerities. But Shambhu has said that we will have a daughter who will later become a man. When I repeatedly pleaded with him, Shambhu replied, “That is destiny and it cannot be otherwise. It is fated that way.”’ When her season arrived, King Drupada’s spirited wife purified herself and united with Drupada. As had been decreed by destiny, she conceived at the right time, through Parshata.78 O lord of the earth! This is what Narada told me. O descendant of the Kuru lineage! O descendant of the Kuru lineage! When the lotus-eyed queen conceived, out of hope for a son, the mighty-armed King Drupada happily tended to his beloved wife. King Drupada was childless. O lord of men! At the right time, Drupada’s illustrious queen gave birth to a daughter who was supreme in her beauty. O Indra among kings! The king was without a son and had it proclaimed, ‘A son has been born to me.’ O lord of men! King Drupada concealed the facts and had all the rites performed for a son, as if he had a son. Drupada’s queen protected the secret and made every effort to say that a son had been born. Other than Parshata, no one else in the city knew. Out of respect for the words of the god with extraordinary energy,79 he concealed that it was a daughter and said that it was a son. The king performed all the rites connected with birth and everything else that was decreed, as if it was a male child. He was known as Shikhandi. I alone knew, through a spy, through Narada’s words, through the words of the god80 and through Amba’s austerities.”’
Chapter 853(190)
‘Bhishma said, “Drupada took great care about all his relatives. O Indra among kings! Shikhandi81 became supremely skilled in painting and the arts. In the use of arrows and other weapons, she became Drona’s student. O great king! The beautiful82 mother asked the king to find a wife for the daughter, as if she were a son. Parshata saw that his daughter had become mature. Knowing that she was a woman, with his wife, he began to worry. Drupada said, ‘My daughter has become mature and this increases my sorrows. Following the words of the one who wields the trident, I have concealed her. O great queen! That can never turn out to be false. How can the creator of the three worlds utter a falsehood?’ The wife replied, ‘O king! If it pleases you, listen to the words that I have to say. O son of Prishata! Having heard, you should then carry out your own tasks. O king! Let her take a wife in accordance with the prescribed rites. It is my firm view that his83 words will come true.’ Having thus decided on a course of action, the couple chose as a bride the daughter of the lord of Dasharna. King Drupada, lion among men, asked about all the kings who had pure lineages. As Shikhandi’s wife, he chose the daughter of the king of Dasharna. The king of Dasharna was known as Hiranyavarma. The lord of the earth gave his daughter away to Shikhandi. King Hiranyavarma of Dasharna was an extremely powerful king. He was unassailable and possessed a large army. He was high-minded.
‘“O supreme among kings! When the marriage had been performed, the maiden attained maturity and so did the maiden Shikhandi. Having obtained a wife, Shikhandi returned to Kampilya.84 For some time, the maiden did not know that she85 was a woman. When Hiranyavarma’s daughter got to know this about Shikhandi, she was ashamed and reported to her nurses and friends that Shikhandi, the daughter of the king of Panchala, was a maiden. O tiger among kings! The nurses from Dasharna were supremely distressed and sent messengers86 with the news. All the messengers told the lord of Dasharna about the deception, exactly as it had happened and the king was filled with anger. O great king! At that time, Shikhandi conducted himself like a male in the royal household. Disregarding the fact that he was a woman, he sported himself happily. O bull among the Bharata lineage! O Indra among kings! When Hiranyavarma heard about this a few days later, he was afflicted with anger. The king of Dasharna was overcome with terrible rage. He sent a messenger to Drupada’s abode. Kanchanavarma’s87 messenger went to Drupada. He took him aside and privately said, ‘O king! The king of Dasharna has spoken these words. O unblemished one! He is extremely enraged at having been deceived by you. “O king! I have been insulted by you and your bad counsel, that out of the delusion in your heart, you have sought my daughter for your own daughter. O evil-minded one! You will now reap the fruits of that deception. Be steady. I will uproot you, with your relatives and your advisers.”’”’
Chapter 854(191)
‘Bhishma said, “O king! Thus addressed by the messenger, Drupada was like a thief who had been caught in the act and could not utter a word. He made extreme efforts to pacify his in-law, through messengers who used sweet words to argue this wasn’t the case. But the king88 again ascertained the truth of the matter, that the daughter of Panchala was actually a maiden, and swiftly marched out. In accordance with the words of the nurses, he sent messengers to all his infinitely energetic friends about the deception that had been practised on his daughter. That supreme among kings assembled an army. O descendant of the Bharata lineage! He made up his mind to invade Drupada. O Indra among kings! King Hiranyavarma consulted with his friends about what should be done vis-a-vis the king of Panchala. All the great-souled kings decided, ‘O king! If it is true that Shikhandi is a woman, we will bind the king of Panchala and take him home. We will instate another king as the king of Panchala. We will kill King Drupada, together with Shikhandi.’ Having learnt about their resolution, the lord of men89 again sent his kshatta90 to Parshata with the words, ‘Be steady. I am going to kill you.’ King Drupada was timid by nature. In addition, the lord of men was guilty. He was overcome by dreadful fright. After having sent the messenger from Dasharna away, Drupada became extremely distressed. The lord of men, the king of Panchala, met his wife in private and spoke these words to Shikhandi’s beloved mother. His heart was overcome by great fear and oppressed with grief. ‘My extremely powerful in-law is full of anger. King Hiranyavarma will attack me with an army. I am a fool. What will I now do about our daughter? It is suspected that your son Shikhandi is actually a woman. Having determined that this is the truth and thinking that he has been deceived, with his friends, his forces and his followers, he wishes to destroy me. O one with the beautiful hips! O lovely one! Tell me what is true and what is false. O fortunate one! Having heard your words, I will act accordingly. I am in danger and so is the child Shikhandi. O queen! O one with the fair complexion! You also confront a great hardship. I am asking you to tell me everything. O one with the beautiful hips! O one with the beautiful smiles! Do not be frightened about Shikhandi. Knowing the truth, I will make arrangements. O one with the beautiful thighs! I was myself deceived because of the lawful rites that had been performed for a son. Thus I deceived the king of Dasharna, the lord of the earth. O immensely fortunate one! Tell me and I will act for our welfare.’ The lord of men knew, but wished to establish his innocence before others.91 Thus addressed, the queen replied to the lord of the earth in public.”’
Chapter 855(192)
‘Bhishma said, “O lord of men! O mighty-armed one! Then Shikhandi’s mother told her husband everything about the maiden Shikhandi. ‘O king! I was without a son and was scared of my co-wives. Though Shikhandi was born as a girl, I reported that she was male. O best of men! O bull among kings! Out of affection towards me, you performed the rites for a son, though those for a daughter should have been performed. O king! Then you got the daughter of the lord of Dasharna as a wife. You remembered the purport of the words the god had spoken earlier. Though born as a girl, she would become a man later. So we overlooked it.’ On hearing this, Drupada Yajnasena reported the entire truth to his advisers. O king! The king consulted with them, about what should be done to protect the subjects. O Indra among men! Though he had himself deceived the king of Da
sharna, he was certain the matrimonial alliance was an appropriate one and was attentive to the consultations. O descendant of the Bharata lineage! The city was naturally protected for times of emergency. O Indra among kings! He fortified it more and adorned it everywhere. O bull among the Bharata lineage! Together with his wife, the king was extremely distressed at this enmity with the lord of Dasharna. Thinking about this great enmity with his in-law in his mind, he began to worship the gods. O king! On seeing him thus devoted to the gods and worshipping them, his wife, the queen, spoke these words. ‘In times of prosperity, the worship of the gods is truly praised by the virtuous. Great worship is recommended for those who are immersed in an ocean of grief. Worship all the gods. Let there be large quantities of donations. Let oblations be offered into the fire, so that Dasharna can be countered. O lord! Think in your mind about how he can be restrained without a fight. Through the grace of the gods, all of this will happen. O one with the large eyes! Have consultations with your ministers, so that the city is not destroyed. O king! Act accordingly. O lord of the earth! Destiny, together with human endeavour, brings great success. But when they act against each other, neither succeeds. Therefore, together with your advisers, take appropriate measures for the city. O lord of the earth! Then worship the gods, as you please.’ The spirited maiden, Shikhandi, was overcome with grief at seeing them converse in this fashion and was filled with shame. She thought, ‘It is because of me that both of them are suffering.’ She made up her mind to kill herself.
‘“Having been overcome by terrible misery, she decided this and left the residence for the deep and deserted forest. O king! This happened to be ruled by a yaksha92 named Sthunakarna. O lord! Because they were afraid of him, people avoided that forest. Sthuna’s abode was constructed with bricks and was plastered white. It was full of smoke from parched grain. It had high walls and a gate. O king! Drupada’s daughter, Shikhandi, entered there. She fasted for many days and dried her body out. The yaksha Sthuna had eyes like honey and showed himself to her. ‘Why have you begun to do this? Tell me and I will do it without any delay.’ She replied to the yaksha, ‘This is impossible to accomplish.’ However, the guhyaka93 told her, ‘I will do it. O daughter of a king! I am the follower of the lord of riches.94 I am one who grants boons. I will even give what cannot be granted. Tell me what you wish.’ O descendant of the Bharata lineage! Then Shikhandi told everything, in complete detail, to the foremost of yakshas, Sthunarkarna. ‘O yaksha! My father faces a calamity and will soon be destroyed. In great anger, the lord of Dasharna is invading him. The king with the golden armour95 is great in his strength and great in his energy. O yaksha! Therefore, save me and my father and my mother. You have promised that you will relieve my unhappiness. O yaksha! O unblemished one! Through your favours, make me a man, before that king attacks my city. O great yaksha! O guhyaka! Bestow your favours on me.’”’
Mahabharata: Vol. 5 Page 7