by Erin Noelle
She shook my hand and smiled meekly. “Thank you so much for coming to get us,” she said in a voice barely above a whisper .
Coming to get them? Instantly my head spun around to look at him questioning what in the world she was talking about, and why in the world had he never mentioned this Andi girl before? I had been there twice a week for over a month and never once had he said her name. I felt like I was really missing something.
Mason bit his bottom lip nervously and gave me a look that I couldn’t quite read. “Scarlett, Andi is going to stay in the other bedroom at the apartment and work at Empty’s until she can enroll in school next fall. She’s coming with us today.”
A multitude of emotions flooded me at his announcement, jealousy more than anything. I knew that I had no right to feel that way, I had a boyfriend and a male roommate, so why couldn’t he have one or both? I took a brief second to push aside my selfish and unfair thoughts, and then turned back to the girl. “That’s wonderful, Andi. I’m sure that you’ll love working at the bar, it’s a fun atmosphere, and that’s great to hear that you want to get back in school. If there’s any way that I can help you please let me know.”
Still smiling at me with her bright blue eyes, she said timidly, “That is so sweet of you. He told me that you were the nicest person that I’d ever meet, and I can see why.” Her kind words made me feel like a bitch for the thoughts that had crossed my mind. I really needed to get over myself and be a friend to this poor girl. Obviously Mason had a reason for helping her out and I needed to live up to the person that he, and now she, thought that I was. Less than thirty minutes later, their bags were in my trunk, and we were pulling out of the parking lot heading to the closest McDonalds and then off to their apartment.
THE STORY OF MY LIFE—KRISTIAN LEONTIOU
BITTERSWEET—ELLIE GOULDING
ASH
Mason getting out of rehab worried the shit out of me. It wasn’t like I expected him to stay there forever, but his release seemed to happen way too quickly. Even though I wasn’t a huge fan of Scarlett spending time with him, at least when he was in the center, I felt like their visits were somewhat supervised. With him being back in his apartment, I really didn’t want her hanging out over there, but what could I really say at that point. I had agreed to trust her, so trust her I did.
The day she went to pick him up I was a mess, a ball of nervous energy. It was a Saturday, which was a day I usually spent in its entirety with her, so I wasn’t thrilled about giving up one of my days. Of course I woke up earlier than usual that morning, and after lying there looking at my ceiling for almost an hour, I decided to grab my long board and head to the local skate park for an early morning ride. That did help me keep my mind off of things for the couple of hours that I was there, but as soon as I was back at my house, I began wondering what they were doing. Both Jess and Meg were still asleep so I didn’t want to play the guitar; they probably wouldn’t appreciate being woken up on a weekend morning. I tried sketching for a little while, but I was just getting frustrated with that too.
I decided to go visit my mom for a bit; she always made me feel better. I stopped and got an assortment of breakfast pastries and fresh fruit before making my way to her condo. As I waited at her door after knocking several times, I thought maybe I should’ve called before showing up unannounced. Finally, she opened the door and greeted me, “Ash, son, it’s so good to see you. What brings you by this morning?” I could tell there was something off in her voice immediately.
I leaned down to kiss her on the cheek and said, “I just thought I’d bring by some breakfast and visit for a bit. I haven’t seen you in a few weeks.”
She kept her body in the doorframe, not moving to let me in, and looked down at the bag of food in my hands. That’s when I heard the deep male voice from inside her place. “Robin, is everything okay? Who was at the door?”
I’m not sure who’s eyes grew larger as we stood there, silently staring at each other. Then the voice spoke again. “Robin? What are you doing? Get back in bed.”
I shook my head and swallowed down the sick feeling that crept up my throat. “I’m sorry I came at a bad time. You should probably get back in bed,” I croaked. I didn’t wait for her to say anything, I turned on my heel and took off down the hallway. I heard her call after me, but I didn’t bother looking back. The day was only getting worse.
I had no patience to wait for the elevator, so I bound down the stairs, taking two and three at a time, anxious to get outside into the fresh air. I threw open the door and nearly tumbled outside. Hurrying to get inside the safety of my car, I plopped myself into the driver’s seat and sat there wondering what to do next.
With no destination in mind, I started the engine and pulled out of the parking area and just drove. I could feel the tears threatening, but I was determined to not cry. I was being ridiculous and crying wasn’t going to make anything better. Twenty minutes later I found myself at the zoo. Why in the fuck was I at the zoo? I didn’t question it, I just got out and made my way toward the entrance. I gave some homeless people that were loitering on the park benches the bag of food and just kept walking until I was inside the gates.
For most of the afternoon, I walked around looking at the exhibits. It had been a really long time since I had been there, actually the last time I could remember was my mom bringing me and Crys for one of my birthdays, when I was like eight or nine. I looked around at the other families that were there and I was a bit envious of the time they were spending together. I realized just how much I missed those times with my mom and my sister. I sat down at one of the benches around the reflection pond and dialed Crys’s number.
“If it isn’t my favorite brother,” she answered the phone cheerfully, not even bothering to say hello.
Her voice alone put a smile on my face. “I’m your only brother, Crys. It’s not much of a competition.”
“When did you become such a pessimist? And why are you calling me so damn early?” She asked teasing.
“It’s after eleven o’clock here, and I figured with your rugrats you would be awake already.”
I could hear her sigh. “Yes, these nephews of yours don’t know what the words ‘sleeping in’ mean.” As if on cue, I heard a crashing noise in the background followed by yelling of whose fault it was. “See, just another day of paradise going on here.”
“Do I need to call back at a better time?”
Chuckling, she retorted, “Sure, how does fourteen years from now work for you? I think I may be able to get through a phone call uninterrupted about that time.”
“No, that won’t work for me at all,” I said, playing along. “I have dinner plans that night.”
“Well then, I suppose you’ll have to tell me the reason for this phone call now. I’m sure you didn’t just decide to call up your old sister out of the blue to check on me. What’s going on? Everything okay with you and Scarlett?”
Groaning, I began telling her about my shitty day. “Actually, I’m just having an awful day . . . one of those where everything is going wrong, ya know? For some reason I’m at the zoo right now.”
“Why in the world are you at the zoo?” she screeched in my ear.
“I don’t know honestly. I just kind of ended up here. I was walking around and I started thinking about the last time I was here and I remembered that time mom brought you and me for my birthday.”
“Awww my baby brother’s taking a stroll down memory lane; shit must be really fucked up. What in the world happened?”
Not beating around the bush any longer, “I took mom breakfast this morning and there was a guy there. She wouldn’t even let me inside.”
“Okay . . .”
“Did you not here me, Crys? I said there was a man there . . . like he called her back to bed; it was horrific. I thought I was going to be sick right there.”
“Ash, Mom is a fifty-five year old single woman. She’s allowed to have someone stay over. Do you honestly expect her to be ce
libate the rest of her life now that she’s divorced?” Her laughter at me just infuriated me more.
“No, I don’t! Well, maybe . . . I don’t know! I don’t want to think about it. It’s gross,” I retorted angrily.
“I totally just rolled my eyes at you. You’re being ridiculous,” she scolded me. “Did you call her before you showed up at her front door? I’m assuming probably not.”
“Well, no. But . . .”
“Do you want her showing up at your house unannounced early in the morning?”
“Well, no.”
“Okay, then. Calm down, she’s an adult. Stop being so selfish, you should want her to be happy. Now what’s really going on because there had to be a reason you took Mom breakfast if it wasn’t a planned visit?” I could hear her shuffling about and whispering something. “Okay, I just sent Will outside with the boys and I’m pouring a new cup of coffee. Start talking.”
I spent the next half hour sitting on a bench in the park telling my sister everything from Scarlett and Mason’s friendship and her helping him out with his recovery to the acceptance letter to UC Berkeley to filling out applications for Scarlett without her knowing. The following half hour was spent listening to her scold me about my selfish behavior and her telling me in every possible way that I was acting like an ass about the Mom and Scarlett situations. By the time we ended the call, Crys had successfully brought me back to reality and I knew what I needed to do to make things right.
As I drove back to my house that afternoon, I called my mom and apologized to her for both showing up at her house without calling and for my childish reaction once I found that she wasn’t alone. I told her that I did want her to be happy and promised to be more understanding. Hearing the joy in her voice after I said what I needed to, elated me immensely. We exchanged “I love you’s,” and said goodbye as I pulled into my driveway. I grabbed the mail from the box just before going into the house and tossed it on the kitchen table as I headed back to my room. I quickly typed out a text to Scarlett before stripping out of my clothes and jumping in the shower.
Me: Hey butterfly, I hope everything went good today. If you are free tonight, I’d love to see ya. I’m about to take a shower but after that I’ll just be chillin at the house.
SCARLETT
I was turning on to Ash’s street when his text came through on my phone. I looked down at my phone, smiling, I had missed not hearing from him all day. I didn’t know if he was upset with me since I had spent a Saturday with Mason or if he was busy doing things on his own.
My day had not gone quite as planned, beginning with picking up not just Mase, but Andi too from the center. Once we got to the apartment, I realized that I had underestimated the emotions that I would feel being back in the place that he and I once lived as a couple. I didn’t even want to go back into his bedroom, I wasn’t sure that I could see the bed that we had shared intimately. In addition, I couldn’t figure out their relationship at all; it seemed as if they didn’t know each other very well, which I couldn’t decide if that made me happy or not. Either they were great actors or there really was nothing going on between them romantically. I could never get Mase alone to ask him who she was or what was going on with the whole situation. She seemed nice enough, a little on the quiet side, but very appreciative to both me and him. I took them both to Super Target so that they could stock up on groceries, toiletries, and other things that they needed. She had mentioned that she had never lived on her own before, and when she went to pay, she used an American Express platinum card. The entire scenario continued to get more and more bizarre as the day went on, but I just did what any good friend would, I smiled and stayed supportive.
Once we got all of the food put away in the refrigerator and pantry and the rest of the plastic bags unpacked, I decided to leave them to get some rest. They both seemed to be pretty exhausted. I couldn’t imagine the emotional or mental mindset of either of them, having just been released from rehab. I wasn’t sure what Andi’s addiction problems were, but I hoped that Mase had really thought about that thoroughly. I didn’t know the first thing about how the rehabilitation process worked, but two recovering addicts living together didn’t seem like such a good idea to me . . . or maybe it was, maybe they could support each other and hold the other accountable . . . I really had no idea. I supposed it really didn’t matter at that point, it was a done deal.
As I was leaving the apartment, both of them thanked me several times for my help and Mase gave me a tight hug with a kiss on the forehead before I made my way out the door. As soon as I got in my car, I decided I didn’t want to spend the rest of my evening wondering what in the world had just happened, so I drove straight to Ash’s house.
I skipped up the front walk and tapped my knuckles on the door, anxious to see him. After several knocks with no response, I assumed he was still in the shower and grabbed the spare key from under the flower pot, letting myself inside.
“Hello? Anyone home?” I called out as I walked through the front door. No one responded but I heard the shower running in the back of the house, confirming my previous assumption. Before heading back to Ash’s room, I got a coke out of the refrigerator and as I walked by the kitchen table, an envelope with my name in the pile of mail caught my eye. Curious to why something addressed to me would be coming to his house, I opened the letter and read it. Completely confused and more than a little irritated, I went to his room and waited for him to get out of the shower.
Several minutes later, I heard the water turn off and shortly thereafter, he walked into his room, wearing only a towel around his waist. As soon as he saw me sitting on his bed, he smiled and said, “Wow! That was fast!”
When he leaned down to kiss me, I put the letter in front of my face to block his advance. “Do you want to explain what this is?”
CAN’T STAND ME NOW—THE LIBERTINES
OVER YOU—MIRANDA LAMBERT
ALL OF ME—JOHN LEGEND
ASH
When Scarlett shoved the letter in front of my face, my heart sunk into my stomach. I had planned on coming clean about everything that night, I really had, but this definitely wasn’t the way I wanted her to find out. I was stunned silent for a moment as I briefly skimmed over the letter that she held up. Not knowing the best way to approach the subject now, I just decided to be brutally honest.
“It’s an acceptance letter into UC Berkeley,” I answered.
“Why is it addressed to me?” Both her hands and her voice were shaking as she asked the question.
I took the letter from her hands and sat down next to her on the bed, still in just my towel. “I know you probably aren’t going to believe me, but I was going to tell you all about this and everything else tonight or the next time I saw you.”
“Everything else? What in the fuck is going on, Ash? Why have I been accepted into some college that I didn’t apply to?” The confusion was quickly turning into anger and I knew that I needed to start explaining fast.
“Let me put some clothes on so that we can talk,” I said as I slid off the bed and walked over to my dresser. I swiftly threw on some boxers and pajama pants and then rejoined her on the bed. She just sat there staring at me, making no attempt to hide her displeasure; I was expecting either steam to start rising from her head or a flood of tears to fall from her big brown eyes at any minute.
“Okay, so here’s the deal. As you know I’m finishing up my Master’s degree this May, so I’ve been applying to several different universities to enter their doctorate programs. I knew that if I was accepted into any of these, I’d have to move and I wanted you to come with me wherever I went. So without talking to you first, I took it upon myself to apply for a transfer for you to each of these schools as well. I thought that once I found the right place where we could both go, I’d present it to you and you’d want to go together. I didn’t want to tell you and stress you out until I knew that we were both in.”
“So let me get this straight . . . you were basically d
eciding my future for me. You weren’t giving me any say in what school I go to or where I live?”
“Well there are only a handful of schools that offer a PhD program in nuclear astrophysics, so I applied to all of them for both of us. I mean, of course you have the option to not come with me, but I thought that this . . . ,” I explained as I moved my hand back and forth between our two bodies, “I thought we were for forever, so I assumed that you would want to go.”
“Do you hear yourself right now? Do you hear the words coming out of your mouth? You’re no better than my parents who tried to control me forever. You’re completely planning my future for me, without even discussing it with me!”
“That wasn’t my intention, Scarlett . . .”
“No! It’s my turn to talk,” she interrupted me. “You of all people . . . the person that has been so adamant about me learning to make decisions on my own, to live my life for me, to not let others control me . . . you’re such a hypocrite! That’s exactly what you’ve done, or are trying to do. I can’t believe this.” She jumped off the bed and began pacing around my room.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think about it like that. I thought if when I told you about it, I had all the facts together, you wouldn’t have to worry about anything. I promise you, butterfly, I didn’t mean for it to seem like I was taking away your decision. If you would’ve said no to all of them, then we would’ve figured out something else.” My voice was now shaking, but with fear instead of anger as hers was.
“We would’ve figured something else out? Like you wouldn’t have continued your education? Bull shit! And don’t even with the ‘butterfly’ crap right now, that’s a fucking joke. You don’t want me to grow wings and learn how to fly, you want me in a little cocoon where you can control me just like everyone else!”
“Scarlett, please calm down. I know you’re mad; I know that I fucked this up, and I’m desperately trying to tell you that I’m sorry. I was going to tell you about everything, even without knowing that the letter came. I talked to Crys today and she made me realize that I was being a selfish asshole, especially with the way I handled this. I’m sorry! I want to know what you want. Please, let’s talk about this,” I pleaded with her.