Just Lucky

by Melanie Florence

  “Yeah,” I admitted, pointedly ignoring Elyse and focusing on Jake. “I miss home a lot.”

  He nodded.

  “I’m sorry about your grandfather,” he said softly. I guess Cynthia from Children’s Aid had filled everyone in. “And your grandmother.”

  “Thanks. I mean…she’ll get better though. And then I’ll be able to go back home.”

  Jake looked at me like he knew something I didn’t. I wasn’t about to get into my grandmother’s situation in the cafeteria.

  “So…how did you end up in foster care?” I asked. Oh shit. What if you weren’t supposed to ask that? “I’m sorry! You don’t have to tell me,” I quickly amended.

  “No, it’s fine. My mom couldn’t take care of me. She’s got some…issues. She’s trying to get it together, but I’m better off with Edward and Sarah.”

  “Yeah, I get that,” I said, thinking of my own mother’s “issues.”

  “And Charlie’s been in care since he was a baby. His mom gave him up.” He smiled tightly. “What about you? I mean…I know you lost your grandfather and your grandmother is sick…but how did you end up with them?”

  “Oh, you know,” I told him, “Junkie mom who’d rather get high than feed her kid. My grandparents raised me. Grandma is the only family I have left.”

  Jake was smiling softly at me, and I was finding it hard to look away. Or come up with something to say. Or breathe. Thankfully, Charlie appeared suddenly and shoved his way up to the bench. He tossed his lunch bag onto the table.

  “What did I miss?” he asked.

  “Nothing,” Jake assured him. “I’ll walk Lucky to her next class. You can eat,” he said. “Okay with you?”

  “Sure,” I agreed, standing up and gathering the remnants of my lunch.

  “I’ll meet you after,” Charlie called out.

  “Okay. Have a good lunch. Nice meeting you all,” I called out to the rest of the table. They waved or nodded. One called out, “See ya,” and another said, “You too.” But I’m about ninety-five percent sure I heard Elyse say something that sounded suspiciously like “whore.” I wanted to respond. I literally had to bite back the words. But then I thought about seeing Grandma after school. I could already see the look on her face if I told her I got into a fight on my first day of school. And I could hear Grandpa’s voice clearly in my head.

  “Don’t ever let anyone tell you you’re not enough, Lucky. You come from a long line of strong Indigenous people. Do them proud.”

  With Grandpa’s words reverberating pretty loudly in my head, I smiled at Elyse and her friends in what I hoped was a friendly manner, then turned and followed Jake out of the cafeteria.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  Care Facility

  It took three buses and a subway ride to get to the place where they had taken my grandmother. The second the doors swung open, I was greeted by an atmosphere I could only describe as calming. There was classical music tinkling away in the background, and I immediately caught the scent of what I thought was lavender and vanilla in the air. The lights were comfortably set—not too bright, not too dark—and there was a fresh arrangement of flowers on the front desk.

  “Excuse me.” I waited for a receptionist in muted colors to finish typing something into the computer. She looked up and smiled widely.

  “How may I help you?” she asked in a soft voice.

  “Hi. I’m here to visit my grandmother. Daisy Robinson?”

  “Just one moment,” she said, typing into her computer again. “Okay…I’m going to have someone come and get you,” she said. “Just have a seat.” I nodded and walked over to a cream-colored sofa. It looked like it cost more than all of the furniture we had at our old house.

  ME:I’m at the care facility. You should see it. It’s like a Four Seasons

  RYAN:You’ve never been to a Four Seasons

  ME:True. But it’s how I imagine a Four Seasons

  RYAN:Ha. Give her my love

  ME:I will.

  “Miss Robinson?” I looked up from my phone, nodding. “I’m Nalda. I’m your grandmother’s nurse.”

  “Hi.” I shook her hand, which was stronger than I would have given her credit for.

  “I’ll take you to see your grandmother in a second, but I thought I’d better talk to you first,” she said.

  “Okay.”

  “Your grandmother is having a bad day,” she told me.

  “Oh. Okay. Well, I’m sure I can cheer her up.”

  “No. Sorry. I should have been clearer. Alzheimer’s patients can have bad days sometimes. She’s confused today. You should be prepared for that. She doesn’t remember where she is.”

  “Alzheimer’s? But…she hasn’t been diagnosed…” I trailed off.

  “The doctors have diagnosed her.”

  “Oh. I…see. Okay.” My heart sank. She had been fine at the hospital when I visited. I figured she’d be ready to go home soon.

  “So if you’re ready, I’ll take you to her room. She has a few of her things, but if you could bring things that remind her of home, I think it would help her adjust.”

  “All right. I’ll try.”

  She led me down a long hall, past a big room where men and women sat together playing cards and chatting happily. This place looked so much nicer than the hospital. I bet Grandma was cleaning up at poker or whatever they were playing. She loved cards but wouldn’t gamble real money. Wherever my mother had picked up her gambling addiction, it wasn’t from her parents.

  “Right in here,” Nalda said, gesturing at the door.

  “Okay. Thanks.” I knocked and waited.

  “Who’s there?” I recognized my grandmother’s voice but not the tone. She sounded shaky. Uncertain. And my grandmother was neither shaky nor uncertain. Grandma was strong.

  I opened the door and poked my head into the room. She was in bed with the lights out except for a bedside lamp. At four o’clock in the afternoon. Her hair was disheveled, and she looked frail, like the bed was swallowing her up. I stepped inside, closing the door gently behind me.

  “Grandma? Hi.”

  “Who’s there?” her reedy voice called out. Who’s there? I mean…I did call her Grandma.

  I moved into the light being cast by the lamp.

  “It’s me, Grandma.”

  “Christina?” She squinted at me. I shook my head gently and perched on the bed beside her, taking her hand.

  “No, Grandma. It’s me, Lucky.”

  She studied me for a long moment while I prayed she’d recognize me. She smiled suddenly.

  “Lucky girl!”

  “That’s right, Grandma.” I leaned over and kissed her papery cheek that usually smelled like the powder she used. Today she just smelled like she had been tossing and turning all night and needed a shower. “How are you today?” I asked.

  “I want to go home!” she said, her voice quivering.

  “I know, Grandma. So do I.” I hugged her hard. “But you need to let them take care of you.”

  “They took me!”

  “Who did?”

  “I don’t know! These people. They took me out of the hospital and they made me come here. I just want to go home, Lucky.”

  “You’re in a place where they can take care of you, Grandma.”

  “I can take care of myself!”

  “I know,” I soothed. “But you need help, Grandma.”

  “You help me,” she said.

  I was struggling to keep her calm and not burst into tears. I wasn’t a big crier by any stretch of the imagination, but I suddenly felt like I was the grown-up. And I still needed her to tell me that everything was going to be okay.

  “I know I do. But you need doctors to help you.”

  “I’m not sick,” she grumbled.

  I felt tears prickle behi
nd my eyelids.

  I hugged her again to avoid telling her that she was, in fact, sick.

  “Don’t let them keep me here,” she whispered.

  I buried my face in her hair that needed to be washed and let the tears fall.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  Problems?

  I barely got back in time for dinner, and I missed my turn setting the table.

  “I’m so sorry!” I dropped my backpack on a chair and rushed into the kitchen. “It took forever to get back. I’ll clear the table and do the dishes,” I promised the boys.

  “Don’t worry,” Jake whispered. “I bribed Charlie with a Mars bar.”

  “I would have done it anyway,” Charlie added, grinning.

  “What?” Jake shoved Charlie playfully.

  “Hey, you offered the Mars bar. What was I supposed to do? Say no?”

  “Dinner’s ready,” Sarah called out, pulling a lasagna out of the oven. It smelled heavenly. “How was your visit, Lucky?” she asked, carrying dinner to the table.

  “Okay, I guess. Grandma was having a bad day,” I admitted, shoveling in a mouthful of lasagna.

  “I’m so sorry. It must be really hard seeing her like that,” Edward added.

  “Yeah.” I looked down but not fast enough to miss the sympathetic look between Edward and Sarah. “I mean…she’s usually fine. But she had a bad day. I guess she didn’t understand why she couldn’t go home.” The words flew out of me before I could stop them.

  Sarah nodded knowingly.

  “My mother has dementia,” she said. “So I know how you feel.”

  “Really?” She hadn’t mentioned it before. “Does she live in a home?”

  “Yeah. A great one that helps her do as much for herself as she can. She has friends. She has amazing caregivers who take care of her on her bad days.”

  “Yeah. This place looked really great.”

  “She’s at Sunset?”

  I nodded.

  “That’s a terrific place. She’s in good hands, Lucky.”

  “I was hoping I could go back to our house and take some of her things to her.”

  “I’ll take her,” Jake volunteered. “I mean, if it’s okay for me to take the car.”

  “I’ll help,” Charlie offered.

  “Can they?” I asked.

  “Sure,” Edward said. “Just…”

  “Be back for dinner!” the three of us yelled, laughing. Sarah and Edward joined in. We felt like a family in that moment.

  “And how was school?” Sarah asked. Ugh. I thought quickly while I chewed. I wasn’t sure if I should tell her how the girls at the table had treated me. It seemed unimportant in that moment. And I didn’t want to say anything about Jake’s friends. I settled for passivity.

  “It was okay.”

  “No problems?”

  “Problems? Umm. Nope. No problems.”

  “That’s good.”

  I wasn’t lying exactly. No one had been rude to my face. Just behind my back. Okay, it was kind of to my face. But they were at the other end of the table. Maybe I was lying a little.

  “Yeah. All good,” I assured her.

  Liar.

  CHAPTER FORTY

  Just Smile

  When the alarm I had set on my phone went off the next morning, I actually felt well rested for the first time since the fire. I wasn’t worried about Edward coming into my room. I didn’t wonder if my grandmother was being taken care of. I actually managed to turn my brain off long enough to get some sleep.

  It was a pretty great feeling.

  I got up and stretched, mentally going through my backpack full of clothes and trying to put together an outfit. Most of my clothes were dirty, but I had a pair of jeans, and I could wear one of the sweaters Grandma had knit for me. They were getting small, but I figured I could get a little more wear out of them before I had to retire them for good. I looked around the room and wondered if Sarah would let me put up some pictures or something. It was like staying in a hotel. Nothing, other that my meager belongings, actually indicated I lived here. I wondered if Sarah and Edward would mind if I brought some of the things from my room at home. Just until I moved back. I looked around and pictured my things scattered around the room, making it feel more like me.

  Making it feel more like home, I amended.

  I walked downstairs with a smile, planning to talk to Sarah, but only Charlie and Edward were downstairs.

  “Where’s Sarah?” I asked, grabbing a banana.

  “She had a doctor’s appointment. Are you ready?” Charlie asked, shouldering his backpack.

  “Yeah. Let’s go.”

  Jake wasn’t a morning person, according to Charlie, so he filled a travel mug with coffee and brought it with him. Charlie kept up a steady stream of chatter to fill the quiet. I enjoyed him. It was like having a little brother.

  A little brother who still insisted on meeting me after every class.

  “You don’t have to walk me to my classes,” I assured him after third period. “I know where I’m going now.” He followed me to my locker so I could grab my lunch.

  “I know. But I figured you might like the company.” He grinned, walking with me to the cafeteria.

  “I do,” I agreed. “Thanks.”

  “No problem. Hey, there’s Jake.” He waved. “See you later?”

  “You bet,” I told him. I stood inside the doorway and looked around. Elyse was already at the table with Jake, and I wasn’t about to butt in. Jake was waving at me.

  I pretended not to see him.

  “Lucky! Hey!” He jogged across the caf and blocked me trying to head to the other side of the room. “Where are you going? I saved you a seat.”

  “I don’t want to intrude,” I told him, scanning the room for an empty table.

  “Intrude? What are you talking about? Everyone likes you. Come on. Just come sit down.”

  “Jake,” I grabbed his arm, “I don’t think Elyse likes me.” He frowned.

  “Why would you say that?” he asked.

  God, boys were so oblivious.

  “It’s just a feeling I get,” I said, rather more sarcastically than I intended.

  “She just doesn’t know you. Come on. Please?”

  “Why do you care?” I asked.

  He looked straight into my eyes, and I wondered suddenly if Elyse was watching. I hoped not.

  “Because I’ve been the new kid. I’ve moved from place to place and wondered if I was just going to get sent away again. It’s hard being a foster kid. And I always wished someone had just been nice and invited me to eat with them,” he admitted.

  “Okay. And thanks,” I told him.

  “Don’t mention it. Come eat before Charlie gets back and accuses me of not taking care of you.”

  “I don’t need anyone to take care of me,” I grumbled.

  “Lucky, everyone needs someone to look out for them,” Jake told me. He sat down, urging everyone to move over a bit to make room at the end for me. There was some good-natured grumbling from the guys at the other end, but Elyse was more vocal with her displeasure.

  “There’s not enough room,” she whined, shifting about half an inch.

  “Oh come on, Elyse,” Jake slid up against her. “There’s plenty of room. See?” He pressed his shoulder up against hers, making her giggle. Don’t roll your eyes, don’t roll your eyes! I told myself. I looked down at my lunch, just to make sure she didn’t notice my expression. It was probably to my advantage that Jake paid attention to her and not me.

  And just as I had that thought, he turned to me again.

  “So, what do you think of Jefferson?” he asked.

  “She’s good. I was studying Of Mice and Men in my old school, but she really gets into it. You know?”

  “Yeah. She’s
fair too. If she sees that you’re making an effort, that’s what matters to her. She’ll really go out of her way to help you.”

  “That’s cool.”

  “She’s also the drama coach. We’re putting on Our Town this year.”

  “Really? I love that play!”

  “You should try out,” he told me.

  “I don’t think so.” I smiled.

  “You’d be great. Come on. I’m trying out,” he said.

  “Are you serious?” I tilted my head and studied his face, trying to decide if he was kidding.

  Then Elyse butted in. I had almost managed to forget she was there.

  “Jake has played the lead for the past three years.”

  “Well, not all of them,” he said, laughing. “But I’ve been in all the plays.”

  “I’m trying out,” Elyse informed me, her eyes narrowed.

  “See? You should try out too!” Jake said.

  I think he completely misread the situation here. I glanced between him and Elyse, then smiled sweetly.

  “I don’t know how long I’ll be here. When my grandmother is feeling better, I’ll be able to go home, so probably not a great idea to try out for the play.”

  “Yeah. I get that.” Jake nodded. Elyse seemed pretty happy at the thought of me leaving.

  “Too bad,” she said, not even looking at me. “It’s going to be so much fun. Right, Jake?” She was basically curled into his side like a cat, giving me the side-eye and basically letting me know Jake was hers. I just pasted a smile on my face and ate my lunch.

  “So when do you think you’ll be going back to your old school, Lucky?” Elyse asked innocently.

  “Hopefully soon,” I said through teeth that were gritted enough to hurt my jaw. I smiled again.

  “Yes, hopefully,” she agreed.

  Just smile, I told myself. You’ll be out of here before you know it.