Just Lucky

by Melanie Florence

  I showered quickly and pulled one of the sweaters Grandma had made me out of my backpack. It was a soft gray, and when I wore it, I felt like she was there with me somehow. It was getting small though, tight where it had been loose only a few months ago. I pulled at it and then decided it was okay to wear a few more times.

  “Holy shit! What are you wearing? God, Lucky. If that sweater was any tighter, it would pop right off. Or is that the point?” Mia asked.

  “My grandmother made it for me,” I said, coloring and pulling at it, willing it to stretch a bit.

  “Well the boys are going to loooooove it,” she said. She turned when Isabelle walked in. “Hey Izzy. Check out the slutty sweater on Lucky.” She laughed.

  “Leave her alone,” Isabelle told her. “And don’t call me Izzy. Do I look like a frickin’ Izzy to you?” she grumbled.

  “Language.” Janine walked into the kitchen, catching the last bit of the conversation.

  “Sorry, Janine,” Isabelle said.

  “Did you sleep well, Lucky?” Janine asked.

  “I guess so,” I told her.

  “That’s good. All right girls. We better get moving.” She grabbed her keys while I looked at her blankly. “I work at your school,” she said. “So I drive everyone.”

  “Oh! Right.” I grabbed my bag and followed everyone out the door.

  “Mia, can you take Lucky to the office to get her schedule?” Janine asked the second we pulled into the parking lot.

  “I guess. But I can’t stay. I have to get to class early today.”

  “It’s fine. I can find it,” I told them both.

  “No. I can show you the office.” Mia grabbed my arm and pulled me along behind her. I yanked my arm out of her grasp. “What’s your problem?” she asked.

  “Nothing. I just don’t appreciate being manhandled.”

  She smirked.

  “Dressed like that?” she asked.

  “Jesus, Mia. You’re a girl. Do you really think it’s helpful to slut shame other girls?” I asked her.

  Mia shrugged. “Whatever. Here’s the office.” She turned, elbowing me firmly in the ribs.

  “What the hell, Mia?” I pushed her. Hard. She hit the wall and bounced back, her eyes bright. Like she was excited at the prospect of a fight.

  “You want to go? I’m ready anytime you are. You think I’m afraid of you?” Mia yelled in my face. I felt my fists clenching. I pulled my arm back, ready to hit her so hard, it would wipe the smirk off her face permanently.

  “Lucky!” Janine was behind us suddenly. She pulled me away from Mia before I could launch an attack. “What are you doing?”

  “I didn’t start it! She did! She elbowed me.”

  Janine looked toward Mia.

  “Mia, get to class.”

  “Janine, she’s a liar!”

  “Now.”

  Janine left no room to argue. She held Mia’s gaze until the girl grabbed her bag off the floor and huffed away. We were there early so the halls were still empty, thankfully. No one except Janine had witnessed our almost-fight.

  “Let’s go to my class and talk,” Janine said. I followed her down the hall, my heart beating hard. She led me into an empty class and gestured toward the rows of desks. “Sit.”

  I didn’t. I couldn’t calm down enough to sit so I paced in front of her desk. Mia had been all over me since I got up this morning. If Janine hadn’t intervened, I would have been in another fight and probably sent to another school. From the look on Janine’s face, she had Cynthia on speed dial and was about to push SEND.

  “Just get it over with.” I spat the words out at her.

  “Get what over with?” she asked, looking like she legitimately didn’t know what I meant.

  “I know Cynthia had to have told you what happened to me. The fights I got into. How I put my foster brother in the hospital.”

  “She told me it was a terrible accident and he’s fine,” she said mildly.

  “So? When does that matter to anyone? When does anyone care why I do anything? Why I threatened the foster father who got into my bed? Why I was fighting Elyse? Who cares what made me do those things? I know you don’t. You’re going to call Cynthia, and I’ll get sent to another foster home with another foster parent who doesn’t give a damn about me. Go ahead. You’re going to send me away so just go on and do it.”

  “Sit down, Lucky.” This time, I sat, my chest heaving. “I saw your file. I know what happened to you at your first foster home. I know what was done to you and that you defended yourself. Good for you. I don’t blame you one bit.” I looked at her, surprised. “And I know you fought with a racist girl who spat at you and called you and your foster brother names. I don’t even blame you for that, really. You’ve been through a lot. I don’t condone fighting. But sometimes we have to fight to survive. And you’ve had to survive since you went into foster care. Maybe before. And maybe you’ll tell me about it someday. I was in foster care too, you know.”

  “You were?”

  She nodded. “I was. And I fought. And I had some pretty shitty foster parents. So I get it. But you don’t have to fight here. Mia will push your buttons, but she’s not a bad person. She has her own story, just like you. I’m not going to call Cynthia because you almost got into a fight, Lucky. If I called her every time Mia almost got into a fight, she’d be here every other day,” she said, laughing. “But you need to try to stay out of trouble. If you have a problem, come to me and we’ll figure it out. Okay?”

  I shrugged.

  “I know you don’t trust me yet. I get that too. But I’ll earn your trust. I promise you that. Do you remember where the office is?” she asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “Then go get your timetable and get to class.”

  I left her there. I didn’t trust her, but the fact that she had been a foster kid herself made me a little more comfortable with her.

  It took about thirty seconds to get my timetable and directions to my first class. Which led to the second class. It was a rat race. Just like any other high school. Get from one class to another and fly under the radar.

  I was back to not knowing anyone, and I wasn’t about to spend my lunch with Mia and I didn’t see Isabelle. I wandered around instead, getting acclimated and nibbling the bagel Janine had packed for me. At the end of one of the labyrinthine hallways, I found the library. Curious if it was going to be worth visiting, I pushed the door open and fell down a rabbit hole of familiarity. The hush of people working at tables. The click of computer keys. The smell of books. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply.

  “Are you going to stand there blocking the door all day?” someone behind me asked. I turned and saw Isabelle.

  “Oh, sorry!”

  She nodded and went around me, dropping a pile of graphic novels on the return cart. Graphic novels? I rushed over and caught her as she dropped her backpack on a table and pulled out a binder.

  “Where did you find those?” I asked, pointing at the graphic novels she had put down. She had discarded The Sandman: Overture, which was my absolute favorite.

  “Last aisle,” she said, nodding in the direction she was referring to, before putting her headphones on and drowning me out. I heard the tinny bassline of whatever she was listening to and stepped away, mouthing my thanks.

  I already had The Sandman: Overture back in my room, so I headed off to the last aisle.

  Holy crap.

  I was standing in a long aisle of comic books and graphic novels. And they weren’t all ancient! I saw X-Men and Batman. I saw Spider-Man and Doctor Strange. I was in heaven. I pulled a bunch off the shelves and sank down the floor. I knew where I’d be spending my lunch break from now on.

  I barely noticed when someone else came down the aisle, I was so into the world of Marvel that I didn’t even look up. Until she cleared her th
roat.

  “Hey. You don’t have Astro City in that pile, do you?” Isabelle asked.

  “Oh. Hey. Ummm…yeah.” I went through the pile until I found it and held it out to her.

  “Are you sure?” she asked.

  “Yeah. I’ve read it before,” I told her.

  “Me too.” The corners of her mouth lifted a bit as she took it from me and walked away.

  If I had to live with someone like Mia, at least there was another comic nerd in the house to even things out. Even if she didn’t talk much.

  CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT

  Days Go By

  RYAN:So how’s the new place?

  ME:Ok I guess. Not home. Janine is nice.

  And the older kid is ok. Quiet. Likes comics. But the other one is a jerk.

  Kim Kardashian is her role model

  RYAN:Brutal. Just ignore her

  ME:I try

  RYAN:Wanna meet after school? I can

  pick you up

  ME:Coffee?

  RYAN:Sure

  Ryan was waiting outside the school for me. He leaped out of his car and gave me a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek.

  “You must have missed me.” I grinned.

  “You know I did. School sucks without you.”

  “Even with Thomas?” I asked.

  “Well…he makes it bearable. So where do we go for coffee around here?” he asked, turning around and speeding away from the school.

  Because we were in the city and there’s literally a Starbucks on every corner, we ended up at one with a latte each.

  “I have to be back for dinner,” I warned him, blowing on my coffee before taking a tentative sip.

  “Okay.” He settled into his chair. “So how’s the guy situation?” he asked.

  “Nonexistent. Honestly, I’ll never meet a guy if I don’t stay in one place more than a few weeks at a time. I haven’t even thought about dating, to be honest.”

  Ryan studied me for a long minute, then smiled.

  “Really? Not even that guy Jake?” he asked.

  “No! Well…maybe,” I admitted. “But I’ll probably never see him again, so what’s the point?”

  Ryan gawked at me.

  “He lives in the suburbs, Lucky. Not another country.”

  “Yeah well…” I trailed off, sipping my drink. “Anyway, I can’t think about guys right now. Not with my grandma…the way she is. I’ll just live vicariously through you and Thomas.”

  Ryan smiled happily and filled me in on everything Thomas-related for an hour before driving me “home.”

  CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE

  Mia and Isabelle

  I walked into the house smiling and feeling almost like my old self after hanging out with Ryan, but Mia pounced the second I came in.

  “Your boyfriend is cute,” she said. “Why didn’t you invite him in for dinner?”

  “He’s not my boyfriend,” I told her. I immediately regretted it. It was none of her business, and I suddenly knew there was nothing I could say that was going to make her shut up and leave me alone.

  “Oh really? Because I saw the way you were draped all over him, Lucky.”

  “Are you serious?” I was trying so hard to get along here, and she was making it impossible. “I hugged him good-bye. We’ve been friends since we were seven,” I told her.

  “Awww. And now you’re sleeping with him?” she prodded.

  “Oh my god, Mia. Ryan’s gay. Not that it’s any of your business.”

  “You’ve got a gay boyfriend?” she crowed. “Aren’t you afraid you’re going to catch something?”

  “Am I afraid of catching ‘the gay’ from him?” I asked sarcastically. “Not really. Also, you’re an idiot.”

  “Janine’s gay,” she whispered.

  “So what?”

  “So aren’t you worried she’s going to hit on you?” Mia asked.

  “You’re such a homophobe, Mia,” I told her. Honestly, people could be so stupid.

  “She really is.” Isabelle wandered into the kitchen then, overhearing the very end of the conversation.

  “Whatever,” Mia said, turning and leaving me alone, finally, with Isabelle. My phone chose that moment to ring.

  “Hello? Hi Grandma. What’s wrong? No. I can’t come tonight.” I glanced over at Isabelle but she had her headphones on again. “What do you need me to get? Well, can’t it wait until tomorrow? I understand you have a cold, but isn’t there a nurse or someone who can bring you medicine? Do you really need that particular tea? Okay. Hang on a second.” I rifled through the cupboards and miraculously found ginger lemon tea. “All right, we have some. I have to be here for dinner, but I’ll come tonight. Do you at least have honey? Okay. Love you too.”

  Isabelle was watching me stuff a couple of the teabags into the pocket of my hoodie.

  “It’s for my grandma,” I told her. Isabelle raised an eyebrow at me. “She has a cold. And Alzheimer’s. Not that you asked or anything,” I mumbled.

  “I’m sorry,” she said softly before disappearing out of the room.

  “Thanks,” I called after her.

  I had the tea. Now all I had to do was get it to my Grandma before she went to bed, without getting caught.

  CHAPTER SIXTY

  An Adventure

  I had to be careful trying to get out of the house. I didn’t want Mia or Isabelle to catch me. And I sure as hell needed to avoid Janine. I faked a headache and retired to my room, telling Janine I was going to bed early, and then snuck back down when I heard her turn the TV on. She liked to watch her British crime shows while we were doing homework or were otherwise engaged. If I could get past the living room, it would be a straight shot to the front door.

  I made sure I had the tea bags for Grandma, and I grabbed my wallet out of my backpack. But I had forgotten that I paid for coffee with Ryan. I was flat broke. And my transit card had expired. Which was a big issue when I needed a way to get to and from the care facility. I crept downstairs, trying to figure out what I was going to do and saw Janine’s purse sitting on the counter where she had left it. I stared at it. There’s no way Janine would miss five dollars, right? I argued with myself. It was stealing. But I’d pay her back somehow. Maybe Grandma could give me some money. I edged toward the bag and then snagged her wallet out. I grabbed a five-dollar bill and put the wallet back, feeling guilty as hell.

  Stuffing the money in my pocket, I edged past the living room and out the front door.

  I felt guilty all the way to the bus stop.

  I felt guilty on the bus. And on the subway.

  And I felt guilty riding yet another bus to the home.

  By the time I walked into the building to see Grandma, the guilt was eating away at me. I stuffed it down as far as I could and walked up to the front desk.

  “Hi, I’m here to see my grandmother. Daisy Robinson.”

  “It’s past visiting hours,” the receptionist told me, frowning.

  “I…didn’t realize there were specific hours. Umm…look. She’s sick with a cold, and I came all the way from the suburbs to bring her the tea she likes. Can I just drop it off and make sure she’s okay?”

  “Well…I guess as long as you don’t stay.”

  “I won’t. I promise.”

  “You know where to go?”

  “Yes Ma’am. Thank you.”

  I took off down the hall before she could change her mind. It was much quieter at night. The halls were mostly empty, with only a few people walking around or chatting.

  I knocked quietly on Grandma’s door.

  “Yes?”

  She sounded congested, poor thing. I poked my head in.

  “Hi, Grandma. I brought you your tea.”

  “Tea?”

  “Yes. Your lemon ginger…or ginger lemon…whate
ver it is. I brought it for you.” I held out the tea bags proudly.

  “What are you talking about?” she asked, looking confused and, if I’m being honest, kind of pissed off.

  “You called me and told me you were sick and needed tea.” What the hell was going on?

  “Your father made me tea!” she told me. She was getting angry now.

  I sat down heavily on the bed, fighting back tears. She wasn’t getting better.

  “Christina?”

  “It’s Lucky, Grandma.”

  “Lucky?”

  “That’s right.”

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I brought you tea, Grandma.”

  “Oh, that was so sweet of you!” she exclaimed. She had no memory of calling me. And I had stolen money to come.

  “I can’t stay, Grandma. But would you like me to make you tea?”

  “No thank you, sweetheart. Your grandfather made me some earlier.”

  I didn’t have the heart to argue. Or explain. Or correct her.

  “Okay. I should go then. Here’s the tea bags if you want more. I love you, Grandma. I hope you feel better soon,” I told her, kissing her on the cheek.

  “Thank you,” she said, smiling happily and oblivious to all she was losing day by day.

  CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE

  Getting Caught

  There was a jumper on the subway, according to the other passengers, so I sat on the train for twice as long, knowing that there was no way I was going to be able to sneak back in. Especially if Janine had gone to bed.

  I didn’t even have a key.

  By the time I got back to the foster home, it was going on ten o’clock. The lights were on downstairs, but I thought I could still at least try to get in without being noticed.

  No such luck.

  Janine was sitting facing the door when I walked in. She stared at me, her face unreadable. I waited for her to start yelling. To tell me that she had called Cynthia, and I should go get my things. I waited for her to say something. Then, before I could say a word myself, she jumped up and grabbed me in a hug that knocked the breath out of me.