“You’re asking for it,” I warned.
“I’m not asking for anything. But now that you mention it, how would you punish me exactly?”
Oh, game on baby.
It was time to enlighten Krystina on the many ways I could punish an obstinate submissive.
“I would bind you face down, with your arms and legs spread to all four corners of my bed. You won’t be able to move,” I told her. There was dead silence on the other end of the line. I waited a moment before continuing, hoping that she was forming a visual. “You will be blind folded so you can’t see what’s coming. You remember the bite of the flogger, don’t you?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“It will be different this time. I’m going to run it torturously slow down the length of your body, over and over again until you beg me to mark you with it. But even then I won’t. The more you beg, the more I’ll introduce new tortures, ones that will bring you near to the edge of your breaking point and keep you there.”
“What kinds of tortures?”
I smirked at the way she provoked me, knowing that she didn’t have an inkling of knowledge about the torments that I could introduce her to.
You want to play femme fatale…let’s see how you react to this.
“You’ve felt my finger, but just wait until you feel a plug stretching you impossibly wide.” I heard her breath suck in sharply. “Yes, Krystina. You know what I’m talking about. Close your eyes. Picture it. Now imagine the plug, with me standing over you, finally giving you the flogging that you begged for. But even then, I won’t let you come until you’ve earned it.”
Her breathing became heavier, the sound a turn on that left my head spinning. I leaned back against the wall of the hotel room and stared at the ceiling. If only I could reach through the phone and touch her. I wanted nothing more than to leave the mind-numbing conference, go home, and plunge into Krystina’s satin heat.
“When will I have earned it?” she prodded me further.
I suppressed another groan.
Oh, angel…keep pushing me and I’ll be on a plane within the hour.
“That depends on how quickly you begin your penance.” I continued the game, but decided to add a twist.
“Penance?”
“Go to the full length mirror in your bedroom. Stand in front of it,” I told her. “Are you still just wearing panties and a tank top?”
“Yes, why?”
“Don’t question. Just let me know when you’re in front of the mirror.”
“I’m here,” she said after a few seconds.
“Good girl. Now look at yourself. See what I see when I look at you. Follow the long lines of your legs, to the curve of your hips. Notice the swell of your perfect tits…I imagine that your nipples are poking through your tank top. Am I right?”
“Y-yes. They are.”
Her stutter sounded hoarse.
“That’s because you’re incredibly turned on. Now I want you to feel what I would feel. Touch yourself, Krystina.”
“Alex…” she hesitated.
“Earn it, angel. Slip your hand down the front of your panties. Feel how wet you are.”
“I – I can’t do that. I’d rather wait for you.”
I could hear the shyness in her voice, but I could also hear the longing. I only had to push her a little further.
“Not following my directions will only make your punishment worse. How much do you think you can take?”
“I don’t know. I guess I’ll find out when I see you next. Until then, goodnight, Alexander.”
At that, the line went dead.
Goodnight!
I banged my head back against the wall.
Once. Twice.
She’s gotta be freakin’ kidding me!
I had a hard on that rivaled any other, yet she left me hanging.
I took me a solid five minutes to steady my racing pulse. My only consolation was that I knew her frustration was surly matching my own.
I stepped away from the wall and rubbed the back of my now sore head. I stared down at the phone, resisting the urge to chuck it across the room. Instead, I pocketed the cursed thing and went to the bathroom to take a shower.
A very cold shower.
****
The wind and rain slapped at my face, but the storm was no match for the resolve that ran hot through my veins.
I had to find her.
I will find her.
I just wasn’t searching in the right places.
Out of the rain and into a dark building. It smelled musty in here, like unwashed hair and dirty laundry.
I stepped into a room that had long been neglected, abandonment taking its toll over time. I knew this place all too well – the curtains that hung from the windows, the tattered couch against the wall. Cobwebs covered the lampshades on the end tables.
I hadn’t been here in so long…
I glanced down at the throw rug in the living room and saw a large brown stain of blood. Bile rose up in my throat at the sight, and I quickly turned away.
How did I end up here?
I knew she wasn’t here. I had come to the wrong place again.
“Alexander.”
I heard my name, but the voice was wrong. It wasn’t the voice that I had been searching for. It belonged to someone else – it was the voice that had the ability to soothe and frighten me all at once.
“Krystina?” I called out.
“I’m here,” I heard her say from another room.
I ran through the dingy apartment in search of her. She didn’t belong here, not in this dirty, tainted place.
How did she find out about it?
How did she know to find me here?
“Krystina, where are you?” I yelled.
I tore through the hallway, searching room after room. But it was as if every time I closed a door, another would appear. The dim lights began to flicker, until eventually they went out completely and I was left in nothing but darkness.
“I’m here,” she said again. With only her voice to guide me, I stumbled into another dark room.
“Where? I can’t see you?”
“Here,” her voice came from somewhere behind me.
I turned to go towards the sound, but my feet came out from under me and I was falling.
“Krystina!” I yelled through the air that whipped past my ears. “Help me!”
“I can’t,” I heard her say, but her voice seemed to be further away now. So much further…
Falling.
Falling.
I couldn’t let her slip away. She was my only hope. I grappled for something to hang onto, anything to keep me from plummeting to the ground.
“Krystina!”
“Alexander,” her distant voice echoed through the endless abyss that threatened to swallow me whole.
I sat up like a shot, sweat drenched and shaking. The sound of rain lashing at the windows caused me to become disoriented, and it took me a moment or two before I remembered where I was.
Boston. The hotel. Only a dream.
But I could still smell the damp air. I still had that sinking feeling in my gut from falling – the kind you get on a roller coaster after it goes over the first crest.
It was the second time in a week that I had been shaken up by a dream. I could blame the dreams on my heightened emotional state since meeting Krystina. Or maybe it was an underlying fear that my sister’s ex-husband would dredge up the long buried past. Or perhaps tonight, it was simply that I had bad fish for dinner.
I lay back down against the overly soft pillows and tried to shake off my unease.
A shrink would have a field day with me.
I rolled on my side in an attempt to get comfortable again, but my efforts were futile. There was no downplaying certain elements of the dreams. They left me with a feeling of emptiness that made my heart ache. I could not ignore the fact that while I was sleeping, I had been searching for my mother.
CHAPTER 38
Murphy’s was as loud as ever when I walked in to meet my friends from Wally’s. I pushed my way through the crowd of people and scanned the room for a familiar face. I wasn’t sure if anyone else had arrived yet.
“Hey, baby. Fancy meeting you here,” I heard from behind me. I spun around, shocked and pleased to hear the familiar voice.
“Alex!” I impulsively threw my arms around his neck. Resting my head against his chest, I breathed in his scent. He may have only been away for a few days, but it seemed like a lifetime.
“Glad to know you missed me,” he said with a laugh.
I pulled back, feeling apprehensive over how elated I was to see him. I had convinced myself the previous evening that I could manage to keep Alexander at arms length. But after taking just one look at him, my optimism began to fade rapidly.
So much for taking the road that would create a little distance, Cole.
My chest tightened at the thought of facing the alternative option.
“What happened?” I asked, trying to shake off my unease. “I thought that all flights into New York were still backed up.”
“I have my ways. Besides, I told you that I’d be here. So, here I am.”
“Well, I’m happy that you made it,” I said.
“So am I, angel. I’m glad to see you wearing the necklace that I bought you too.”
I reached up to touch the emblem around my neck and felt my cheeks flush.
“I started thinking about the quote that you sent me with the flowers. That was sneaky of you by the way. But, if it makes you happy for me to wear it, then I don’t see the harm.”
His eyes glimmered wickedly dark as he circled his arms around my waist.
“What do you say we ditch this joint? I want to go home and see you wearing nothing but that. And maybe those fuck-me shoes that you have too,” he whispered into my ear.
“As enticing as that sounds, I can’t really ditch my own party before it even starts,” I declined begrudgingly. I pulled away to scan the crowd. “I’m not sure if anyone else is here yet, though. Let me go ask Will. Come on.”
I removed Alexander’s arms from my waist and took hold of his hand.
“Uh, no. Krystina, I’ll just wait –,” he started, pulling free of my grasp. His face looked conflicted.
“What is it?”
I watched his brow crease, until he seemed to come to a decision.
“Nothing,” he finally said. “Just lead the way.”
I frowned, perplexed over his hesitation, but then dismissed it with the thought that perhaps he was just tired from traveling. Pushing our way through the crowd, I stepped up to the bar. When Will eventually made his way over to us, I smiled at the pub owner.
“Hey, Will. How’s it going?” I asked.
“Why, hello there little lady,” Will greeted me with a smile. “I hear you’re the guest of honor at a party here tonight.”
“It’s just a small goodbye party with the people from Wally’s. Oh, and Alex too,” I said, turning around to motion Alexander forward. “Will, I’d like you to meet Alex.”
When the two men locked eyes, there was no denying that they already knew each other. I felt Alexander’s body stiffen beside me, almost as if he was bracing for a fight. Will’s eyes flashed with distinctive anger.
“Will,” Alexander said, reaching his hand across the bar to shake his hand.
Will simply nodded his response and returned the handshake. If I wasn’t mistaken, they both seemed to be squeezing hands a little too hard. However, to the average outsider, their exchange was nothing but cordial.
“Your party is waiting for you at your usual table, Krys. I’ll send Lisa over with a round of drinks on the house,” Will told me with a dismissive wave. And at that, he turned his attention to another patron that was waiting to be served.
I looked back and forth between Alexander and Will. It was probably the most bizarre interaction that I had ever seen between two people. As soon as we were able to walk out of earshot of Will, I pounced on Alexander.
“What was that all about?”
“What?” He feigned innocence.
“Oh, come on! You two obviously know each other.”
“Yeah, we do. He isn’t one of my biggest fans, I’ll say that much.”
“Will is normally so down to earth. I’ve never seen him act like that. What happened between you?”
“It doesn’t matter, Krystina,” he said with a shake of his head. “Let’s just go meet your friends.”
Another secret.
I felt my stomach plummet.
However, there was a certain amount of finality to his tone, warning me not to press the issue. I was contemplating if I should or not, when I spotted Melanie waving to get my attention. I raised my hand, signaling that I would be there in a minute.
“I’m not sure what’s going on, but you seem uncomfortable. We can go if you want to,” I offered.
“Don’t tempt me, angel,” he said with a wink. “I believe that you still have a punishment coming to you.”
I knew that he was trying to steer me away from the conversation, to avoid giving me the truth once again.
“I’m serious, Alex. I’ll just make an excuse and we can go.”
“That would be foolish. These people are here for you, and we shouldn’t keep them waiting any longer.”
Alexander linked his hand in mine and led me towards the back of the restaurant, successfully drawing the matter to a close.
For now at least.
His constant vagueness drove me to the point of insanity, but pushing for answers in the crowded pub would not earn me a favorable result. Whatever the story was behind Alexander and Will, I would get to the bottom of it after we left Murphy’s.
****
The get together with Krystina’s co-workers was pretty low-key, and I was thankful that the celebrations ended early. I wasn’t sure if I could handle another minute of watching Jim McNamara gawk at Krystina. The way he obnoxiously stared at her throughout the night was nauseating – especially when he didn’t stop after I put my arm around her waist to stake my claim. Krystina was oblivious as usual, not understanding the effect that her casual beauty had on the opposite sex.
However, McNamara wasn’t the only reason why I had felt edgy most of the evening. It was awkward being inside pub tonight and seeing William Murphy. I expected as much and should not have gone in there. Personal issues aside, it’s never easy to run into a club member outside of the scene. Both parties wonder if the other is going to slip up, break the assumed code of secrecy, shattering the other person’s need for privacy. It was a dicey situation, and I was relieved that the evening went off without too much of a hitch.
Arms loaded with parting gifts, Krystina and I waited at the front door of the bar for Hale to arrive. When the Porsche pulled up to the curb, we made a mad dash for the SUV, fighting the rain that whipped at our faces. Once we were seated inside, I noticed that Krystina was unusually silent, and I half wondered if she was still thinking about the interaction between William Murphy and me.
“You okay?” I asked once we were situated in the back seat.
“I’m fine.” Her tone was clipped.
“You don’t sound fine. Is it because of that thing with Will?”
“Yes. No…I don’t know, Alex. Honestly, it was the whole night.”
“What about the whole night? You seemed like you had a nice time.”
“Apparently, I’m a better actor than you are,” she commented sarcastically. “It was pretty damn obvious that you were not enjoying yourself. I know that you said that you don’t fit in well at parties, but geez! You looked like you’d rather be anywhere else!”
“Sorry, but sitting there watching Jim McNamara look like his puppy just died every time you spoke was a little much,” I said dryly.
“You could have ignored him. Oh, wait. You did, along with everyone else that was there. You barely spoke a word all night.”
“Th
ey are your friends, Krystina. Not mine,” I pointed out.
“So what if they aren’t your friends? And what about that thing with Will? How do you guys know each other?”
She was making my head spin with the way she fired off one question after another in such a rapid succession.
I sighed. Krystina had her fighting gloves on, and I really didn’t want to go a round with her. I had missed her, and I wanted nothing more than to get her back to my place, naked and tied to my bed. To hell with her cursed time of the month – if she was still on her period, I didn’t really give a damn. I was desperate to be inside her again.
Maybe I should finally introduce her to my cross…
I temporarily shelved the idea after I saw that she was staring me down, still waiting for a response.
“He belongs to the same club that I do,” I finally answered.
“Club? Like one of those clubs?” she asked incredulously.
“Yes, Krystina. One of those clubs. My club. Anyway, we had a disagreement some years back. Let’s just leave it at that.”
“Will? I mean, I never thought…” she trailed off. “I just didn’t think he’d be the type to be into your sort of thing.”
“It’s your thing too now. Remember?” I asked, pointing to the necklace that was secured around her neck.
“Oh, well isn’t that just dandy!” she exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. “I did the research on this, Alex. Based on what your telling me now, I’m pretty sure Will doesn’t think I’m wearing a Celtic symbol around my neck!”
“Trust me, I think Will is just as shocked as you are over the situation.”
“This is so embarrassing,” she mumbled. She put her head down and began rubbing her temples.
Krystina was in a foul mood, and I couldn’t say that it was all because of my behavior at the party. There was truth to her words – I was rather standoffish throughout the night, but it was merely because I felt out of my element amongst her peers. There was something else that was eating at her, but I couldn’t pin point what it was.
“What else is bugging you?”
“I’ve been walking around all day with this necklace on, advertising that I’m a part of a world that I truly know nothing about. The only experience that I have is with you!”
Heart of Stone Page 35