by Pamela Ann
It no longer mattered, anyway, because I was too exhausted to care.
Sometime during the night, I felt him again, making love to me.
Out of my mind, spent and exhausted, I welcomed his advances, opening up to him as he fervently took what pleasures he sought from my body.
“Juan…” I moaned, my eyes barely fluttering open as I tightened my muscles around his girth, milking him to the last drop of cream.
For the first time in months, I slept like a baby. Nothing hounded my subconscious.
“Cara…” a soft voice cooed my name. Soft warm lips kissed the curve of my back gently, enticingly.
A tiny smile broke on my lips as I burrowed my face into the pillow before an inaudible sigh escaped me. “What time is it?” hiding a yawn, I blinked a few times before rolling my body over to face him.
“Around one. Lunch is ready whenever you are.” Dressed in dark denim jeans, plain white crew-neck shirt, a growing stubble, and killer smile, River gazed down upon me with a thoughtful look about him. I didn’t escape my notice how his eyes roamed about my naked form, lingering, admiring, yet his hands remained to his sides.
Why wasn’t he in between my legs, rousing me awake like he’d normally do when together? Had that part changed, too? It was nice to wake up to this, but after last night, I expected a little something more, perhaps? This was too mundane. Quite unusual even for the likes of him.
The smile I sported moments ago receded into a worried frown. “Going somewhere?” I eyed him suspiciously before glancing away. The second the question escaped my lips, I already knew the answer to it. I knew him well enough, and I trusted my gut when it was telling me something was amiss.
He pressed his lips together before hesitantly nodding in agreement. “Yeah … um … I am, but I promise to be quick. I’ll be back before you know it.”
My flight was around six something tonight. Seeing as it’s an international flight, I had to be there two hours prior to boarding. So, that gave us a little less than two hours. Where did he have to go that was so important that it couldn’t wait? Had he gotten bored with me since I hadn’t put up a fight last night? Was this what it was all about? Having me beg for him?
My mind conjured the most untasteful scenarios one could imagine. But I could choose to shut up while I continued to wonder the reason for his withdrawal, or I could simply voice it out…and see where it would lead.
The latter won out. The idea of being kept awake while flying across two oceans didn’t bode well with me.
Shifting into a sitting position, I gathered enough sheets to cover my bareness. Obviously, it was rather late to practice modesty, but somehow, I felt as though having some sort of barrier—a shield—would protect me from what River was about to inflict on me. “Mind telling me where you’re going?” I asked just as his phone vibrated in his pocket.
Distractedly, he pulled it out, gave it a bare glance, and then slipped it back into his jeans. “It’s Petra. She slipped by the pool. She’s with a doctor as we speak.” He sighed, but his face remained a mask, giving no indication if he was worried or not.
He had to be, or he wouldn’t be in a rush to go see her.
“Oh,” I said apathetically. “Right. Must not forget about the girlfriend.”
“She’s not—” he insisted rather forcefully before he drastically got up from the bed and sent me a piqued glare.
I indignantly huffed, almost laughing at his reaction. “She kinda is, River…” As for the awkward morning after sex, this topped the worst one to date.
I could feel my cheeks flaming. My body began to heat all over. It wasn’t necessarily shame I felt, but something else. Nonetheless, it was still unpleasant.
River cocked his head to the side, hands planted on his hips before dropping his head to the floor and staring at it for a good ten seconds or so. Then he brought those lethal eyes to meet mine. “I don’t know why, but I feel it’s important that I tell you this. You’re the first and last girlfriend I had, Cara. Petra’s just—”
“Your resident girlfriend,” I interjected, supplying the answer.
“You’re leaving tonight. Do you really want to spend our last hours together arguing?” He sent me an uncertain look, one that made me almost feel sorry for him.
Almost … but not so much. “Okay, go. Check on her. Hope she didn’t get a concussion. That’d be tragic.” Yes, I was a queen bitch, rotten to the core.
“Cara…”
I shrugged, unapologetic.
I mean, what did he expect from me? Was I supposed to bring out the rosary and mutter a prayer for her speedy recovery? The fuck. The twig slipped and bumped her head. No big deal.
River’s glare grew heated by the second. It was as if he was commanding me to apologize for wishing his girlfriend ill.
Fuck you, I wanted to yell so badly. Yet something held me back from initiating a full-on war with him. It could possibly be due to the fact that the best course to take was to appear as though I was conceding. It didn’t mean I was waving the white flag. This was merely a time of reprieve by choosing my fights wisely.
“Maybe that was a little rude.” I almost gagged saying it, but hell, it was either this or risk a full out argument with him. Besides, I preferred not to hear any more about her. Ending this conversation was critical. “That’s the closest thing you’ll get as an apology from me. So, if you’re waiting to hear a heartfelt one, you’re getting none. Now, will you please go so I can get dressed?” I was being impertinent, but I was desperate to leave and seek my own room.
Releasing a disgruntled sound, he wretchedly ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry…” he began to say as he started to round my side of the bed. Upon reaching me, he brushed my cheek with the back of his hand, quite remorseful. “I’ll be quick, okay?” He said in a soothing voice, as if it’d be enough to pacify whatever it was that had broken the spell between us.
He was about to kiss my cheek when I averted my head, purposely avoiding his lips.
“Don’t. Save that for her,” I stated petulantly.
His face was so close I could smell his minty breath. And I knew he was staring holes into me, but I didn’t have the capacity to look him in the eye and challenge him. I just couldn’t. He remained unmoving for a minute before he finally decided it was time to leave me be.
From my peripheral view, I could see him retreat before exiting the bedroom. Not once did I move until I was sure the suite was empty. Only then did I begin to get dressed.
This shouldn’t have come as a surprise. I am what I am, and I wasn’t going to be the compliant mistress he sought me to be. He ought to know better.
There was no point in staying in this massive suite when no one was around. Besides, I didn’t need to be reminded of last night. I was mortified at my body’s shamelessness.
I didn’t rush. I took my sweet time dressing. He had made sure there was food to lunch on, but the thought of ingesting food when my mind was in a turmoil made me a little ill.
Leaving my disheveled hair down, I quietly exited the penthouse suite with newfound determination. Yes, it was unfortunate how things were playing out with River, but I supposed it was for the best. What was the point, anyway? Investing time in him would be futile.
I pulled my keycard out before entering the lift and directing it toward my own floor. My anger hadn’t subsided, but I was determined not to dwell on it. I had a few hours to kill. I was sure finding ways to occupy my mind wouldn’t be a hardship.
River had mentioned a driver taking me to the airport. But it’d be best to call the front desk and double check just in case. I couldn’t bear to miss my flight. And quite frankly, I simply couldn’t afford to stay another second in Miami. There was just too much drama around, and it was a little too crowded for my liking.
I couldn’t wait to be away from this, away from all of the nonsense, away from all of him. There was this despairing need to cleanse myself of him that I couldn’t seem to shake.
Upon entering my room, I immediately stripped naked before heading straight into the bathroom to turn the dials on. The water running in the background, I quickly dashed back into the living room for my purse and pulled out my phone. There were several messages, but I chose to read and respond to the set’s organizer, confirming I was arriving back in Hong Kong as scheduled so she could ensure there was a limo waiting.
Once I sent the hasty email, I scrolled to the next one while retreating back into the bathroom to shower.
Everett White: You promised to have an answer for me last week. The week just passed. Do you have one yet, or do I have to make one for you?
I beamed upon reading his message. He was the hedge fund guy I’d been seeing while filming. When he had asked me two weeks ago, I had already made up my mind that I wasn’t going to go, but I’d forgotten to inform him. However, after today’s fiasco, would it really hurt to have a little fun?
It couldn’t hurt. Besides, a change of scene and a new set of friends to travel with could be beneficial for me. They did say spread your wings and fly as high as one could, right? Heck, I couldn’t even remember the last time I had truly taken some time off and gone somewhere new and exotic.
White sand, drunken nights out, new experiences to enjoy, cultures to explore, endless laughs, amazing food, incredible company, and memories to last a lifetime. How could I even dare fathom declining an invitation to paradise? I couldn’t. Not anymore.
Quickly typing my response, I bit down as a smile formed on my lips. Come to think of it, I was actually quite excited now.
Me: I’m in.
Sent.
Good … It’s all good, I inwardly reassured myself while glancing at my distorted reflection in the foggy mirror coming from the shower’s steam.
Cleansing myself of River …
By the time River and I were going to rendezvous again, none of this icky web of confusion would complicate me any longer. The first time always was the toughest. We were getting used to each other, setting and testing boundaries. Round two would be much better. This time, however, River would be kept at arm’s length. He wouldn’t come close to even trying to evoke any sort of emotion from me whatsoever.
Ten minutes later, fresh out of the shower, I placed a robe on as I strode into the bedroom in search of the phone. The first call was to confirm my driver was set to arrive for three-thirty. The second, for room service. Since I wasn’t at all hungry, I opted for coffee and a small bowl of grapes. I realized I had to nibble on something just to fill my stomach, or I’d feel faint. It was right after I experienced a dizzying spell during our first week of filming. After the embarrassing incident, I made sure I didn’t go over eight hours without any food in my stomach. Hopefully, I’d work up an appetite once I was in flight. But for the time being, grapes and coffee should suffice.
By the time I was finished showering, getting dressed, and packing my belongings, I received a call indicating my car was waiting downstairs.
It was time to leave … and with no River in sight.
So much for ‘I’ll be quick,’ I thought drily as I glanced at my phone. Should I even bother sending a text of goodbye?
I considered it for a second before reason took over. There was no point. He was with Petra. Who knew what those two were up to?
Probably catching up, my mind sardonically retorted.
Not that I cared … because I didn’t. It was just irritating; that was all. And quite honestly, I was simply over it. I was ready to leave all of this behind and return to my world.
Packed and ready, I made a swift three-sixty, making sure I hadn’t forgotten anything before leaving the suite.
With my favorite gold-rimmed Ray-Ban shielding me from curious eyes, I strode across the hotel’s lobby before stepping out in the open where the limo driver patiently waited for me.
Greeting him with a smile as he took my one-piece luggage, I was just about to slide into the back seat when I heard my name being hollered somewhere, halting me from moving.
As I spun around to face the jackass, it took everything in me to erase the scowl and replace it with serene calmness.
“River,” I greeted him in a clipped tone. Serenity sure wasn’t my forte. But hey, I tried.
“Hey, I’m sorry,” he rushed upon reaching me. He obviously had been running or was fast-walking because his cheeks were pink from exertion, or it could be from something else, too.
If he had fucked Petra … Well, that’d explain why he hadn’t touched me this morning. The old River wouldn’t pass up the chance for a quickie. I supposed Petra meant something more than he cared to admit.
“I tried to get away early, but …” he paused, seeming flustered. “I hope you’re not mad at me. I really am sorry. I promise to make it up to you next time.”
“Sure,” I mumbled drily as I distractedly placed my purse on the leather seat before glancing back at him. “Well, I gotta go. Take care.” Pressing my lips together, I slid into the passenger’s seat just as I noted the driver was already in his seat and was set to go. Without glancing at the man still standing close by the door, I reached out to shut it until his hand stopped me from doing so.
“Wait!”
Fuck.
His head hung closely at the cracked door just enough to see me. “Be seeing you in seven days, right?” he gawked at me, expectantly.
“Fourteen,” I corrected him. “I forgot to tell you I’m going on a short trip with friends.” Even with sunglasses on shielding my eyes, I still couldn’t look directly at him.
“What?” he shrilled with dissatisfaction, face contorting with disbelief and frustration. “That’s not on the schedule you sent me!” he continued raising his voice, garnering some attention from the hotel’s traffic.
Too bad, I wretchedly thought. Things change all the damn time.
“It is now, River, and before you start—” I gasped as I watched him get into the car in pure astonishment before ordering the driver to start the car. Then he had the audacity to activate the partition so we could have some privacy. “What the fuck are you doing, you idiot!”
“You’re fucking punishing me for leaving you, and now you’re making me pay for that mistake!” He was pissed. “What the fuck, Cara? I’m not cool with this!”
No, scratch that. Forget being pissed. River was utterly livid.
No, maybe ... no … yes … most likely? Even if he was, how could I justify this random action while trying to reason it’d benefit the both of us in the long run? I couldn’t, most especially not when he looked like he was about to detonate any second now.
“It’s just an extra seven days. You’re making this into a huge deal when it’s not. What’s another week to you, anyway? I’m sure you wouldn’t even notice the difference.” With his busy schedule, Petra, and all the other distractions readily available to him at all hours of the day, he’d barely notice I had left. I was sure of it.
He seemed wounded by my nonchalant retort. “Fuck off, Cara,” he furiously spat back.
I most certainly will.
Without bothering to voice out my thoughts, I decided to ignore him while mindlessly staring out the window. He was angry, and I guessed, I was, too.
“Where and who are you going with?” he harshly demanded, as if he had every right to know the ins and outs of my life.
“Bali and Macau.” I coolly stated without looking away from the passing view of the city flashing before my eyes. “I’m going with Aubrey, Pierce, and Everett.”
“Which guy have you fucked, huh?” He shifted further to my side so our thighs were touching before he leaned over into my ear. “Who’s the lucky man, Cara?”
Oh, he really was going there? Huh. Okay, then. If his goal was to piss me off just as much as he was, then he had effectively succeeded.
Fine. All right.
The kid gloves were coming off.
Let’s play, River … let’s fucking play.
Emboldened, I gave him what he sought. H
e could take it however he liked. “His name’s Everett. He’s my go-to during my three-months of filming. He’s charming and fluent in Chinese, Arabic, and Spanish. He works under his father in their hedge fund company. Oh, and I forgot to mention, he’s British, and his father’s apparently been knighted by the Queen.” This time, I did turn around as I took my shades off. Unblinkingly, I looked him dead in the eyes. Dark on dark. Eye for an eye. I’d be damned if I was the first to back down and cower from this bastard. “Anything else you wanna know, or have I covered the gist of it?” I threw in for good measure just to sprinkle more salt into the open the wound.
“I dare you to fuck him! I fucking dare you!” His nostrils flared, dark eyes wildly flashing at me as he closed the gap between our faces, the tip of our noses touching. “If a finger or a fucking tongue—any fucking thing—gets inside that pussy, Cara … You know what’s coming for you.”
Bastard to the tallest order.
“You dare me? You dare me!” I let out a cruel laugh before incredulously shaking my head, disgusted with his easy use of coercive tactics these days. “No, River Ellis, how fucking dare you resort back to threats again!” God, I was so incensed I was tempted to smack him stupid. I wasn’t known to resort to violence, but right this instance, I could’ve almost slapped him silly with anything I could get my hands on. A terrifying thought, but I didn’t have much time to dwell on my savage sadistic tendencies, because the deplorable man didn’t seem to flinch from my reaction.
He was a cold, mercilessly cruel, calculating son of a bitch.