by Pamela Ann
“I’m just letting you know what’ll happen if you break the contract,” he stated. His menacing tone left nothing to the imagination.
His intention was as crisp as it was clear. Once he confirmed I had violated the agreement, he’d send the hounds to chew me alive.
There was no mistaking it; he’d fully commit to it, too. River Ellis was my equal match when serving a cold dish of vindictiveness. We knew each other too well. We knew which spot to target and which part to make one come to heel. We exploited each other’s weaknesses like the bastards we were. We already lived in a cruel world, but we were unapologetically harsher with each other. When we loved, we loved with every fiber within us. When we hated, we hated with every single atom in our bodies—to the last drop of blood, to the very last air we breathed. Like a goddamn vendetta, it could only be settled when the opponent no longer lived and walked this earth.
When together, we soared. When apart, we waged a silent war.
River had been the yin to my yang. We understood that the only way to part was to part as enemies. It was just the way of life. It was just how we were wired. No matter how we painted it, folded and unfolded it, rearranged the puzzle, the truth would always resurface. It would always prevail, poetically and tragically, unchanged.
Lovers or enemies … Those two were the only options on the table.
The latter had been us. Soon, we would resume back to being foes.
We were, as of this moment, at an impasse—a gridlock, courtesy of His Royal Assholeness. So, until the day came when the get out of jail free card arrived, I could not pass go and collect my two hundred.
I wasn’t broke, but obviously not having a fat bank account with millions at my disposal surely put me in the broke department in the world of Hollywood. The contract he had landed for his album was unbelievable. I shuddered to think how much he was worth these days. But instead of doing good with all the wealth he had acquired, River Ellis was quite content to live his life terrorizing mine, instead.
“I can’t wait for this to be over already! I can’t fucking stand you! You’re fucking ridiculous!” Hate was too soft a word to justify what I was feeling at the moment. Nothing could simplify it.
“I’m ridiculous?” he snorted, slightly shocked by my exclamations. “Your insatiable cunt thought otherwise.”
“I was drunk!” I furiously shot back. “I get horny like most women do when they’ve downed enough alcohol to nourish the entire Russian army!” They preferred vodka, obviously, and I also knew I drank a good variety of other liquors, but it wasn’t the point. I had to spout something ridiculous to match the ridiculous situation.
“Figures…” he muttered under his breath. “I guess I should thank you for clarifying things, Cara. I understand you better now,” he scornfully grated before he granted me space by moving to the farthest end of the seat, putting a vast distance between us.
The distance wasn’t that far per se, but it could’ve been oceans between us. The shift was palpable.
He understood what precisely? The question lingered as I swiftly glanced at him, skimming the side of his profile for any indication—an emotion I could identify—but he appeared to be lost in his own world.
The silence stretched. It festered. The air felt so stifling that even the simplest task of breathing made my lungs hurt.
“I promise to meet you in two weeks.” I found myself saying, as if to reassure him that I wasn’t going to run off into the sunset and never come back to serve my end of the bargain.
He remained undeterred, unflinching as he silently simmered in his own stew of stale bullshit.
Yes, I was beyond furious, but this silence was irking me to the ends of insanity and it had to end. How did I make him talk when he had already decided there was nothing left to say to me?
This should have made me happy, but I wasn’t. It only left me worried. I didn’t want to leave in this state—a place not of anger, not of hatred, but of apathy. This could be a dangerous, damaging place for me specifically, and truth be told, I simply couldn’t afford to put him in a shady mood. River’s unpredictability would bite me in the ass if I didn’t fix this before I left for Hong Kong.
“How’s Petra?” I tried again. This time, my voice sounded rather upbeat. Trust me, the last thing I wanted to hear was anything about Miss Twig, but what the hell? I was getting desperate.
If I thought saying her name would magically open the doors to the kingdom, I was sadly mistaken.
Startlingly, he could carry on being confined in this small space of a moving tin can and pretend I was nonexistent. He took heartless to another level.
Instead of thawing his frozen heart, River shifted on his seat before pulling out his phone as casually as he could. Then he began to text someone.
Um, hello??? What the fuck was he doing?
I wanted to scratch his eyes out and feed them to the birds. He had achieved this feat so effortlessly that I openly stared at him, shocked and perplexed by his unfeeling audacity.
He was shutting me out, successfully so, which made me reflect on my unreasonable actions and distasteful choice of words. I couldn’t shake it off any longer. The question nagged. It gnawed at me … how I’d reduced this situation into something more.
Had I really decided to join Everett because I felt a teeny, tiny prickle of jealousy toward Petra?
Fuck.
My throat began to itch. My stomach churned, appalled at the very accusation my mind callously pointed out.
This time, when I slanted my head to look at him—to really look at him without malice or any ill-feeling or emotion—my heart began to contract.
I was in the wrong. Unbelievably so. River had easily caught my bullshit, but stubborn me couldn’t fathom to be outdone, so I had done what I did best. Hence, this shitty feeling. It was no wonder the triumphant feeling of getting him to shut up didn’t feel so triumphant after all. I’d been so caught up in being this vindictive bitch who ran with an eye for an eye mentally for so long that I found it hard, sometimes impossible, not to choose to be one each time I was confronted instead of finding an alternative way to handle it, a course which didn’t result in hostility.
I should say sorry, yet I couldn’t bring myself to apologize. The words should’ve been easy to say. I didn’t even have to mean them so long as they achieved the same purpose, but I couldn’t seem to have the words come out of my mouth.
The more I realized I was in the wrong, the shittier I felt. “Talk to me,” I implored with a good deal of desperation.
But the long-standing stretch of silence remained, a deafening sound of nothing.
“Please.” My desperate plea made him lock his jaws, so I reached out to him, softly touching his hand, testing his resistance first, and when none came, I fully took hold of his hand. “I promise I won’t break any of the rules. I give you my word. I’ll even swear on Mattie.” Adding our caretaker gave my promise credibility. She meant a great deal to us, so he should know when to take me seriously.
It worked.
Even though he wouldn’t glance in my direction, he gave my hand a hard, tight squeeze, a good sign he was finally opening to me again.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I really am. I hope you know that, but is it too much to ask you to cancel it?”
He wasn’t letting it go. Why did it still bother him even after I had promised not to violate our contract? He’d been adamant about it, and since I’d given him my word, it should’ve mollified him, yet that wasn’t the case. “River…”
He twisted his head, pinning me with those deadly dark jewels of his. “I waited three weeks to see you for a little over a day. If that isn’t already hard enough, now you’re telling me it’s going to another two to see you next. By the time it swings by, you’ll have what? Two, three, maybe more tops, until you leave for Toronto to shoot Clover?”
River wasn’t going to make this easy.
Nervously licking my lips, I lamely responded, “I already
gave him my word. I can’t just not go, not after confirming it.”
“So? People always change their minds all the damn time. It’s not a fucking crime, Cara,” he argued. “Unless … It’s you. If you really wanna go, then I can’t stop you. It’s your life, after all.”
The car came to a full stop. We’d arrived at the airport, and we still hadn’t managed to resolve this.
Shit. Shit. Triple shit!
My eyes scoured the scene outside, filled with people bustling as they scrammed to get to their gates. I should be doing the same, but my chest felt too heavy to simply depart while feeling as though we had something unresolved.
“Two weeks will be here before we know it…” I cheerfully said, while torn at the idea of darting out the door or leaving him a sweet quick peck on the cheek.
His handsome face was crestfallen. “All right, I guess … That’s that, then. I’ve said what I have to say…” He let out a disappointing sigh.
“River…”
He shrugged, dropping his gaze to our attached hands before he slowly released mine, leaving my outstretched hand in between us. “Enjoy Everett, Cara.”
Not anymore, I won’t. You ruined it for me.
Chapter 16
River
Two Weeks Later
Just left her suite after ordering her some room service. Your key is sitting on your guitar case.
P.S. I had no idea it was going to be her. I almost lost my shit, bro. Lucky bastard. She’s fucking awesome. I wanna marry her tomorrow.
My mouth lifted in a smirk after reading Arush’s text, confirming Cara’s arrival, check in, and safe deposit in the hotel we were staying at. Last week during meet and greet, this lanky, polished, tall Indian guy handed me a poster to sign and a resume attached with a bright neon sticky note listing the reasons I should hire him on the spot.
The guy was darn bold in every sense of the word. Not only that, but I had to give some credit for originality. I’d never imagined someone paying thousands of dollars to meet me backstage and having the guts to apply for a job all in one go.
I already had Willa to cover my schedule and social calendar when it came to events, paid appearances, and the like. She took care of the public side of my life, yet I had no one to deal with my private affairs. With the increasing demands of my job, having someone to take care of things like ensuring Cara’s arrival and room bookings and whatever else I needed done would be awesome, to say the least.
In less than ten minutes, Arush was hired … Well, he officially was on board the moment he finished signing a confidentiality agreement.
So here we were … fifteen days later.
As expected, Cara didn’t call or text while away. I’d been tempted to contact her, but thank fuck I hadn’t followed through on my drunken thoughts, because half an hour later, I ‘accidentally’ came across her pictures on the gram. Let’s just say I spent the whole night angry, wondering what this dude had that I couldn’t give her. The last thing I needed to top off the godawful night would be to hear the fucker on the other end fucking around with Cara.
I honestly didn’t know what happened, but somehow, I figured I could take her for a nice trip and maybe show her I wasn’t all that bad. She probably saw me as a monster, or else how could I rationalize Cara spending her free time with another man instead of being with me?
I knew she had just arrived from a week vacation, but I felt this mad need to show her I could be spontaneous, too. As a result, I had Arush find the perfect spot to revitalize and revive our spirits and maybe, just maybe, her faith in me, too. We were leaving tomorrow for a private island in Turks & Caicos. Tonight’s agenda was to take her to this restaurant I had hired to close down for the night so we could enjoy a quiet time together. Afterward, if she wasn’t too tired, she could accompany me to this nightclub appearance booked tonight. I was only obligated to stay for an hour, so it shouldn’t be too much of a crazy scene. I intended to hold off on sex until she approached me. Hopefully, I could make good on that idea. It was a tough call to make where Cara was concerned, but I intended this night to be different. A good change and I believed I could make that happen.
After arriving back at the hotel after tonight’s gig, I quickly dashed in the shower and got ready in less than twenty minutes. Grabbing the keycard from the top of the guitar case, I almost ran out of the suite before I deliberately took a pause, blew out some air, and told myself to calm the fuck down.
I’d been waiting for this night every day since she had left. Yes, goddamn it! I was fucking thrilled to even have her in the same country as I was, and I wasn’t even ashamed to admit it.
My chest thudded heavily as I left my room and almost sprinted toward the elevator. She was two floors down, so it took hardly any time at all before I found myself standing right outside her door.
Slipping the keycard into its designated slot, I quietly let myself in. Compared to last time, the room wasn’t silent. There was music playing in the background.
By the time I reached the living room, my breathing had all but left me when my eyes found her wearing a silk robe with baby blue flowers on it. It was untied, hanging loosely around her frame while only wearing a matching red lace lingerie.
She was golden. It merely enhanced her already knockout features. She was absorbed in her phone, reading something without noticing she wasn’t alone in the room any longer. I took her in like a man stranded in a desert after finding an oasis to quench his thirst, drowning and consuming at the same time. After over two weeks of celibacy, I felt as though my entire existence had been zapped back to life.
I wasn’t sure what had made me do it. There was Petra and an endless supply of willing bodies to cater to my needs. I could’ve easily done it, but it hadn’t felt right. None of them aroused me like Cara could achieve with just a glance in my direction. She stimulated me in ways no woman ever could.
“Cara,” I rasped out. Her name felt like honey on my tongue.
The golden goddess hesitantly looked up from her device, there was a pause, and then she broke out into a smile. Hastily dropping her phone on the table, she crossed the living room to welcome me.
“Hi,” she greeted before tiptoeing to kiss my cheek. Her eyes twinkled as she keenly gazed upon me. However, there were other things twinkling that caught my eyes.
It was the huge diamond earrings she was wearing. “Something new?” I skeptically asked while feeling as though my anxiety meter had just shot up tenfold.
“Oh, these?” she angled her face from side to side, proudly showing off her new gems. “Everett won crazy in blackjack. This was how he thanked me for being his lucky charm.”
Everett. Goddamn it. The guy was probably crazy about her. He had to be. Most men were enslaved to her. She knew it, too … unfortunately.
“Looks great on you,” I said tritely. The words sounded even hollow to my ears.
“Thank you.” Her smile widened some more. “I met Arush … You finally let go of her, thank God. About time you did.” She stated with such relief I almost felt bad squashing that belief.
“Willa’s still on board. Arush is my second assistant.”
Her face fell, grimacing as if she tasted something foul. “That’s too bad,” she mumbled as she drastically brushed the strand of hair that had fallen from her bun.
What caught my attention drained all the blood from my face. “Is that a fucking engagement ring!” I yanked her hand so hard she yelped in pain.
It was a ring. A diamond fucking ring. As big as the rocks on her ears…maybe even bigger. “What … what …” I couldn’t finish the sentence. I was so lost for words my brain couldn’t comprehend what had just happened. What the fuck was going on?
Guilt was written all over her face. Grimacing, she tried to pull her hand free from my hold. I released her without a struggle. I couldn’t fathom touching her, not when she just flipped my world upside down once more. When would I ever learn?
“It’s not what you think,
” she nervously whispered.
I continued frowning, endlessly scowling down at her. Still, I was rendered speechless.
“On our last night, we went for a walk … Everett and me, I mean…” She paused, looking guilty as ever. “He somehow found this on the beach, and well, I don’t know … It was all a joke, I swear … until somehow we joked around that if we were both single by the age of thirty, we’d somehow marry each other so we didn’t have to die lonely.”
Right. What a slick fucker. Was that how a man proposed to a woman? And why the fuck would he? He barely knew her!
“And you just happened to stupidly agree to this dumb joke, right?” I sniped at her, yelling with barely contained anger. I’d never been this furious. Never had I felt as though I wanted to fucking strangle and fuck the brains out of someone to snap them out of stupidity.
She was engaged. Conditionally.
UN. FUCKING. BELIEVABLE.
What a load of garbage. The joke had always been on me. Wow. What total hogwash.
I’m out. I’m fucking out!
Carelessly shrugging, I knew I had to bolt out of here before things got out of hand. I couldn’t stand to be around her. Hearing her voice, her stupid pleas, just being in the same room—I wanted to commit cold murder. Hit something. Break something. I craved to bleed, to draw blood, to feel something other than this wretched feeling that was eating me whole. The urge to run—to go and fucking hide somewhere—was so intense it was perplexing.
Hounded by so many despicable things, I spun on my heels, ready to bolt out the door without bothering to say goodbye, but the wicked witch just wouldn’t let me go.
“River! Stop! Where are you going?” she shrieked, catching up to me. “Aren’t you staying? Arush said you’re taking me somewhere low key and fancy. I can be ready in five minutes.” She tried to yank my arm, but her pleas got her nowhere.
Her eyes were forlorn as she sought to enlighten me. There was nothing between us. Nothing to anchor this but the past. And to be damn fucking straight with myself, I was so over this. I wanted an honest woman, someone I could rely on. Someone to trust. Petra would never do this to me. She was gentle, a truly loving woman unlike Cara, who had been damaged from the start. Just like I was. But hers ran deeper. Her scars were burrowed in places no one could ever reach.