Fulfillment (Book 3 in The Temptation Series)

by K. M. Golland

  ***

  I had moved out to the balcony to get some air when Jessica arrived. She followed Bryce out and stood next to me at the balustrade. I had rugged myself up in a thick coat and Jessica—thank goodness—had done the same.

  “So, what happened?” she enquired.

  “I’m not quite sure,” I answered dishonestly while glancing quickly toward Bryce.

  Jessica noticed my subtle eye movement and proceeded to remedy the situation.

  “Bryce, I would like to speak to Alexis alone if you wouldn’t mind.”

  He let out a breath in a stoic manner. “Sure. I need to go and check the progress of the Metropol renovations anyway.” He kissed my forehead. “Call me when you’re done, okay?”

  I nodded.

  He turned and walked inside.

  “Thank fuck,” I blurted out while looking around my vicinity, desperate for something to poke into my cast. “Where are all the long pointy things? I swear he has removed everything and anything that could be used to scratch my leg, damn controlling arse that he is.”

  I was just about to hop over to the Yucca plant and tear of a leaf when Jessica smirked at me and handed me her pen.

  “Oh, you are my saviour.” I gripped the railing, balancing myself and shoved it directly into my cast. “I hate this thing. I hate it with a passion. I hate all orthopaedic surgeons and I want to wage a war against plaster and fibreglass.”

  “That would be an interesting war,” she murmured. “People have fought and died for much less.” She continued, “So, would you like to tell me what happened now that Bryce has gone?”

  I nodded and grabbed hold of my crutches. “Let’s go inside first, I think it’s about to rain.”

  We both made our way inside and sat opposite each other on the lounge.

  “Would you like a drink?” I offered.

  “No thank you, dear.”

  “Are you comfortable?”

  “Yes, I’m just fine.”

  “Can I get you anything at all?” I offered again.

  “Alexis? Are you being overly polite or are you trying to delay the inevitable?” Grrr, you smart, smarty-pants doctor of smarts.

  “Okay, Gareth is what happened,” I admitted with defeat, while continuing to scratch my leg with the pen.

  The mention of Bryce’s cousin, her patient, got her full attention.

  She snapped her eyes to mine. “How so?” she asked probingly.

  I shrugged my shoulders as I nonchalantly rattled off my reasons. “He came by to visit. Scott and I have a history. I don’t really know how to act around him. He makes me feel uneasy. And, his aftershave triggered a flashback.”

  She raised her eyebrow then frowned at me. “Tell me all about it. I want to know what happened from the moment he walked in to the moment you passed out.” She patted her pockets, looking for a pen. I reluctantly offered hers back.

  “Never mind, I’ve got another one.” She reached into her briefcase and pulled out another pen. Brilliant, I probably would not have relinquished this one anyway.

  I repeated everything that had transpired like she asked me to, while she sat there and took her notes.

  “Alexis, we’ve been through the possibility of your flashbacks being a result of your inner guilt—”

  I cut in. “But I don’t feel guilty anymore. I’ve honestly accepted that the fall was not my fault. So why would my mind persist on trying to convince me of something I am already convinced of?”

  “Well, that’s a good question. And my answer to that is that this recent attack may just be a result of your anxious feelings toward Gareth. It may be completely separate from your fall altogether.”

  I shrugged my shoulders. Maybe she was right, although I wasn’t quite sure.

  “I can prescribe a mild antidepressant drug for you, if you’d like. But, honestly, I don’t think you’ll need it. I think we should continue our talks, I also think you need to get back to your normal everyday life. You’ve been working again, which is good. How about your friends? Have you seen any of them?”

  “No, not yet,” I answered, quickly.

  “Why’s that?”

  “I’ve just wanted time with Bryce, alone. It’s too soon to see them.”

  She nodded. “That’s okay, Alexis. You can see people when you are ready to see them. I’m glad you’re consciously making that choice.” Her voice sounded soft and reassuring. “Think of it as a process, a routine, a cycle as such. As time moves on and you go back to doing the things you have always done, you will find that you are moving on out of habit. Now, if that doesn’t happen for some reason, we will look at other methods to help that eventuate.”

  She put her notepad down and picked up her phone. “Now, if Gareth triggers another attack I want to know right away. That, in itself, is perplexing, but as I said it may just be a result of your dislike for him—”

  “It’s not that I don’t like him. I just get the feeling he doesn’t like me and that makes me feel uneasy.”

  “Well, that’s fair enough. It might be best to just avoid him initially though, or practice the breathing techniques I taught you for when you do come across him again.” She started typing into her phone. “When are you planning on seeing your children next?”

  “Tomorrow,” I answered with a smile.

  “Good. After you explain to Nate and Charlotte what has happened, you may find you feel less anxious and that a weight of relief has been lifted from you, a weight you did not know you carried.”

  “I’m fully aware that I am carrying that particular weight, Jessica.”

  “Of course you know you are carrying that weight, Alexis. But that weight could also be linked to you being anxious and fearful in general, not just over telling your children. Do you understand what I’m saying?” She rested her hands on her lap.

  “Oh, yes, maybe.” I deliberated that notion for a second.

  “Getting back to being intimate with Bryce may also help relieve your anxiety. Do you have any concerns about that?”

  “We have been intimate.” I quickly correct myself, slightly stuttering. “We have obviously not made love yet...but we have had intimate moments.” Oh my God! I’m talking to Jessica about having sex with Bryce. Once upon a time I would have considered this an adynaton, maybe I need to look out the window and see if a pig flies past.

  “That’s good. Like I said, getting back into your normal routine can only help your situation. Now, if you are planning to try again to have another baby, then you should wait a couple more weeks, but I’m sure your doctor talked to you about that.”

  “Yes, she did.”

  “Okay, good. So, how do you feel now, after our chat?”

  “Do you always ask that question at the end of your ‘chats’?” I asked flatly.

  “Yes.”

  “So it’s a habit?”

  “Yes, but I want to know your answer.” She packed up her briefcase and stood up.

  “I feel better.”

  “Good, as long as you don’t feel worse, then we are on the right track. Now, stay there, don’t get up. Bryce is on his way.” She walked toward the door.

  “How do you know?”

  “I sent him a text.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Am I the only one who doesn’t do what he says?”

  She smirked back at me. “Yes, I think so.”

  As she turned the handle to the entryway door, the elevator doors opened and Bryce entered the room.

  “I’ll speak to you tomorrow, Alexis. And Bryce, Gareth missed his session last week and he is not returning my phone calls. You know what is coming up, so if you see him again today, please tell him I want to see him as soon as possible.”

  “Sure, thank you for letting me know.”

  He walked over and held the door as she passed through it.

  After Jessica left the apartment, Bryce made his way to the lounge and sat down.

  “That makes sense you know,” I said.

  “What mak
es sense?” he asked as he rubbed his hands up his arms. “Are you cold? I can put the fire on.” He got back up and made his way to the fire without waiting for me to answer. “Sorry, what makes sense?”

  “Gareth wanting to leave so quickly when you mentioned Jessica was on her way here.”

  “Yeah, I did pick up on that too. I will track him down shortly. He knows he shouldn’t be missing appointments with her, especially this time of year.” He sat back down and pulled me to him.

  “Why? What’s this time of year?”

  “The anniversary of the accident, it’s a week from Monday,” he answered, emotionlessly.

  I snuggled into him as I watched the flames from the fire pick up. “Do you do anything to mark the day?”

  “Yeah, we normally go to the cemetery. Would you like to come?”

  I tilted my head to look up at him. “I’d love to.”

  “Good, I’ve always hated going on my own.”

  “Didn’t you just say ‘we’ normally go to the cemetery?”

  “Yeah, Lucy, Nic, and Gareth.”

  “Then you were never on your own, were you?”

  “Yes, I was.”

  I squeezed him tightly, understanding what he meant. “Well you aren’t anymore.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  I never quite liked the feeling of impatience, even if it went hand in hand with an outcome of joy—a reward for the patience you had to endure. I hated the obsession with time, flicking to my watch every few minutes in the hope it would display a passing of hours instead. I hated the feeling of disappointment when I was so sure my wait was over, only to realise it wasn’t and having to be patient once again.

  On this particular day, my impatience was a result of having to wait for Nate and Charlotte to arrive home. I was so eager to wrap my arms around them both, see their beautiful adorable faces and hear their sweet voices. But, as excited and eager as I was, I was also terrified, because I soon had to explain why my leg was broken and why I was no longer pregnant. It was a surreal type of impatience and I hated it even more.

  The buzzer to the door sounded and I jolted excitedly, kicking the coffee table.

  “Shit! Crap! Fucking Balls!”

  “Alexis, for fuck’s sake, be careful. As much as I have enjoyed carrying you around these past two weeks, I don’t want you to re-break your foot again.”

  “They’re here, Bryce!” I shrieked with a huge smile. “I haven’t seen them in two weeks. Do you know how hard that has been for me?”

  He smiled back at me. “Of course I do, Hunny.”

  I stood myself up on one leg, arranging the crutches into position. Bryce went to the door and opened it, letting Rick and the kids in. I hobbled over to where the kids were standing and both of them went pale.

  “Mum, what happened? How did you break your foot?” Nate looked like he wanted to hug me but was not sure how to go about it without hurting my injured leg.

  “I fell down the stairs, little man.”

  “Are you okay?” he asked, clearly worried.

  “I wasn’t okay at first, but I am now.”

  Nate stepped forward and gently squeezed my waist then let go and stood back, still looking overly concerned.

  “Mum, did it hurt?” asked Charlie curiously, while staring at my cast.

  “Yes, Sweetheart, it hurt like hell.”

  “How did you fall, Mum? Were you running? You shouldn’t have been running. You keep telling us not to run, and now look what’s happened.” She placed her hands on her hips, with an expression basically branding me a hypocrite.

  “No,” I laughed at her. “I was not running. I just kind of lost my balance when I was coming down the stairs. It was an accident, Charli-Bear. A horrible, horrible accident.”

  “Did you hurt the baby when you fell? I bet she didn’t like being all bumped around in your belly.” Charli looked at my tummy.” Oh, God. This is going to be harder than I thought.

  I compelled the tears to remain at bay and forced a fake smile. “No, she didn’t like being bumped around, but I’ll tell you about that later. Right now I need to sit down; these crutches are hurting Mummy’s arms.” I quickly turned my back to them, giving myself a second for composure.

  “Can I have a turn of your crutches, Mum?” Nate asked with raised eyebrows.

  I grinned. “Yeah, when I’m not using them though. Come on.”

  As the kids and I headed for the kitchen, Bryce pulled Rick aside to apologise for hitting him a week earlier. I stopped at the doorway and noticed Rick make amends for something also—I couldn’t quite hear what. Both of them ended their discussion with an unemotional handshake and a light pat on the back. It was a step in a direction that led to God knows where—I just hoped that wherever it led, it was a good place.

  We sat down, and Bryce ordered sandwiches from the hotel’s kitchen. It was strange sitting around the dining table with my estranged husband and my new partner, but the atmosphere was no longer hostile or territorial. It was a strange type of calm.

  “Charli, are you going to tell your mum what we did during the week?” Rick suggested with a nod.

  “Oh, yeah, Dad took us to see the Crusty Demons. I want to be a Crusty Demon. They go upside down and everything. They even let go of their bikes in the air and they jump over fire and do flips. It was soooo cool!” she babbled at a rapid speed.

  My eyes widened as I stared at her obsessively crazed face then I turned to Nate with a questioning look.

  “Yeah, it was awesome, Mum, but Charli REALLY enjoyed it. She screamed and clapped every time they jumped.”

  “Don’t they jump...a lot?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” Rick said quickly. “They do.”

  Oh, God, Charli-Bear a Crusty Demon, shit! I think I may need to take her to Disney on Ice or something.

  “So, Nate, you wanna tell Mum and Bryce who you met yesterday.”

  Nate shrugged his shoulders. Charli went to open her mouth to spill the beans, when Rick put his finger to his lips to silence her.

  “Go on, Nate, tell them.”

  “I met RJ, I went to his soccer game,” Nate said quietly.

  “And?” I asked, a smile creeping across my face.

  “He’s kind of funny.”

  Rick started laughing and scruffed Nate’s hair. “What about when he kicked that goal?”

  Nate giggled. “Yeah, he did a front flip and a cartwheel, Mum. It was hilarious.”

  “I liked it when he pulled his t-shirt over his head and bumped into one of the other boys because he couldn’t see where was going,” Charli added.

  ***

  Rick left after lunch and I thanked him for keeping the kids busy, happy and completely oblivious to the events that had transpired in their absence. I also explained that I was going to tell them about the miscarriage tomorrow morning, because I just wanted a happy evening with them, one without heartbreak and a lesson of life’s sometimes cruel events. He also apologised to me for barging in to the apartment the week before and being inconsiderate and insensitive. He also told me to call him if I felt he could help with the kids and their reaction to the news I would soon give them. I thanked him again and said that I would if I needed to. It was such a nice reprieve to not have to worry about my on and off again issues with Rick. Hopefully from now on we could all move forward in a civil and friendly manner.

  Shortly after Rick left, Bryce received a text from Lucy asking if practice was still on for this evening. Before my accident, Bryce had arranged a practice session and a fish ‘n’ chips dinner at the apartment with the members of Live Trepidation, Lucy and Nic.

  After I lost the baby he had completely forgotten to re-schedule them and was about to cancel when I insisted that he didn’t. Cancelling was the last thing I wanted, I wanted things to go back to normal, and fish ‘n’ chips on a Saturday night was normal, so I convinced him that the change in atmosphere was just what I needed.

  An hour later, I was sitting on the sofa in the man-
cave with Charli at my foot gently drawing pictures on my cast. So far, I had a rainbow, a unicorn, and she was now attempting a Crusty Demon. Lucy was at the keyboard practising, and Nic was sitting next to her with Alexander on her lap. He was practising too, slamming his little hands down on the keys and having a wonderful time. Nate was playing pool with Derek and Matt, and Will was lightly tapping out beats on the drums. Bryce was sitting on the arm of my chair playing the guitar, strumming chords that every now and again sounded familiar.

  When he started playing the riff in “Sweet Home Alabama” by Lynyrd Skynyrd, I casually lounged back, putting my hands above my head, deciding I’d join in and sing along. Before I knew it, he changed the song. I removed my hands from behind my head and pouted at him because I really liked that song. He smiled at my protruding bottom lip but kept playing the new tune. It didn’t take me long to figure out that the new song was “Layla” by Eric Clapton, so I chimed in and sang that one instead. Then, like clockwork, he switched the song yet again. I glared at him but he only smirked back at me. I listened to his new choice and caught on that it was “Wanted Dead or Alive” by Bon Jovi, so I blurted out the opening line while smirking back at him.

  Suddenly, the rest of the band were gathered around and were watching me play the guessing game with him, as Bryce would switch to a new song and I would quickly try and guess which one it was before he’d switch again. I thought I was doing a decent job, guessing songs like “Dr Feelgood”, “Enter Sandman”, “Back In Black”, “Foxy Lady” and “Johnny B. Goode”. But then he’d decide to try and make it a little harder, by playing stuff I hadn’t heard of and completely random songs like “Just A Girl” by No doubt and “Mister Sandman”—which I laughed at, because he pulled a stupid face as he played it.

  It wasn’t until I guessed with such enthusiasm that he was playing “Eruption” by Van Halen that he gave up the game and said, ‘You win’. I’d tried to do a happy dance but obviously couldn’t, so went with the happy-clap instead, and I was rewarded with a quick soft kiss on the lips. It was in that moment that I decided I wanted to surprise him and learn to play the guitar so that I could play for him. I thought that maybe he would appreciate me learning something he was so passionate about. It was also a gift I could give him, a gift I could give a man that appeared to have everything.