Androdgyny--An Erotic Memoir

by Lee Dorsey

  Chapter 4

  During the next two weeks, I had several encounters with Helen and we had other ménage à trios with Brad. I was anxious to get back to New York. I spoke by phone with Jenny a few times. The furniture was being delivered in drips and drabs. We had gotten some bad information from the salesman at the furniture store concerning delivery. Apparently, all the furniture I had purchased was not in stock. About half of it was on back order. That was resulting in having to wait longer than the initial two weeks for delivery.

  I spent another week with Helen having little romantic dinners. We spent hours at a local motel. Helen learned quickly the art of making love. She became proficient at satisfying another woman. She told me that I was her first. I don’t have any reason not to believe her. One evening, while we were having dinner, I asked her what she thought of having sex with Brad. She answered by saying that since it was only the second time, and if it hadn’t been for my prompting her, it would never have happened. "Since we’ve met, she said, I know where my sexual orientation lies. I love you. I don’t want anyone else.”

  I was flattered and concerned at the same time. I liked her a lot, but it ends there. When I get back to New York Jenny will be my lover, until such a time when someone else comes into my life. That could be a man or a woman. Much of it will depend on the circumstances. Helen talks continually about coming to New York. When she graduates from the Community college, she wants to study in one of the Broadway Theaters and be with me. I wish her well in New York, but she will not have a future with me.

  Jenny finally called to tell me that all of the furniture had arrived. She wanted to know when I was coming back. My audition at the school was rescheduled for the following Wednesday. I decided to fly back on Monday and get settled into the new digs. My mother took me out to an expensive restaurant on Saturday night. I intended to spend my last night in town on Sunday with Helen. This may be the last time we ever get together. I wanted it to be memorable.

  We arrived at the same motel we had been visiting since I’ve been home. Helen has become very aggressive, so I let her take the lead. She took me in her arms and gave me a passionate kiss. Helen had learned the art of getting someone out of their clothing in record breaking time. Seconds after she began undressing me, I was standing before her completely nude. She took my hand and put it between her legs. She wasn’t wearing panties. Her feminine nectar was running down her leg. I knew what she wanted me to do. With my forefinger, I titillated her clit. I slipped two of my other fingers into her vagina opening. She put her hands behind my ass and pulled me into her. Her lips locked on my right breast as her tongue swept over my nipple. It became erect. After a while, she moved to the other one. We slowly collapsed onto the bed. She moved up my body. She placed her vulva over my mouth. Her thighs were mounted on each side of my face. My nose and tongue were buried in her as far as they would go. She moved her body in a frenzied motion. Her abdomen began to convulse. Then she moved back down kissing my torso until she reached my erogenous zone. She had a wonderful tongue and furthermore she knew how to use it. Yes, Helen has become a good lover. I taught her well.

  She drove me home. We parked in front of the house. For several minutes neither of us said anything. I was getting these guilt feelings. I may have led her to believe there was more to our relationship. It takes two to have a meaningful coming together. In our case, I wasn’t ready for a marriage. I looked over at her. There were tears running down her cheeks. I reached out and took her in my arms.

  "I’m going to miss you terribly,” she sobbed.

  "I’m going to miss you as well,” I assured her. My hope was she would find someone else during the next semester. I would just be a memory. "Why don’t you plan on driving me to the airport tomorrow?” I asked.

  "What time is your flight?” she inquired.

  "It’s at one o’clock. Why don’t you plan on picking me up around eleven?”

  She moved her lips to mine and we kissed passionately. I finally broke away and got out of the car. I walked toward the house without looking back. As I entered the house, my mother was sitting in the living room reading a book.

  "Hi,” she said. Did you have a nice dinner?” she asked.

  "It was wonderful.” I took a pause. "I’m going right to bed. Helen is picking me up tomorrow morning at eleven. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. I want to get a good night’s sleep.” I crossed to my mother and kissed her on the cheek. I ascended the stairs. I went into my room, stripped down and got into bed. My love making session with Helen had exhausted me. I fell asleep almost immediately.

  My mother awakened me around eight o’clock. I got out of bed immediately. I was still half asleep when I stumbled into the shower. The warm water falling over my body was just what the doctor ordered. It was invigorating. I dried off, put on my makeup and got dressed. I had packed my suitcase the afternoon before. My mother had made arrangements to send the rest of my wardrobe to New York the next day. I picked up the suitcase and went downstairs. Mother was preparing my breakfast. I was going to miss those delicious breakfasts she normally fixed me nearly every morning. I sat down at the table and drank my orange juice. There was a pot of coffee on the table. I poured a cup. Mother placed a plate of eggs, bacon and toast in front of me. Mother sat down across from me. She had a myriad of questions about my forthcoming New York adventure. The time flew by. I looked at my watch. It was nearly eleven. Simultaneously, a knock came at the door. I picked up my suitcase, gave my mother a hug and opened the door. Helen put her arms around me and gave me a passionate kiss. Observing this scene, my mother looked astonished. I didn’t look back. We walked to the car and put my bag in the trunk. We were off to the airport.

  As we were driving along, I decided that I wasn’t going to spend a lot of time saying goodbye. I was determined to give her a quick kiss and be on my way. When we pulled up in front of the airline, I reached over, kissed her on the cheek and said, "I’ll call you after I get situated.” Before she had a chance to respond, I opened the car door and walked to the rear of the car. Helen popped the trunk. I retrieved my bag. Before she had a chance to get out of the car, I walked to the door of the airport. I didn’t look back.

  The flight to New York was uneventful. When I arrived at Kennedy, I retrieved my suitcase, hailed a cab and took the half hour ride to my Brown Stone. On the way, I placed a call to Jenny to inform her I was on my way.

  As I pulled up in front of the house, I saw Jenny standing in the doorway awaiting my arrival. When the cab came to a stop, Jenny came down the steps to greet me. When I got out of the cab, she put her arms around me. She gave me a passionate kiss. She took my suitcase from me. We walked arm and arm up the stairs of the house.

  The new furniture was placed every which way without any thought or purpose. Jenny told me that she didn’t make any effort to place the furniture. She knew that I would want to make the placement. She was right. For all practical purposes this was my house and my furniture. I had been thinking about placement the whole time I was back in Kansas.

  I went upstairs and put my suitcase in the bedroom. I thought since I was already upstairs, I would begin organizing my bedroom, first. Jenny was with me. I began giving her directions as to the furniture’s placement. We arranged my bedroom. When we got to the bedroom Jenny was going to be occupying, I turned to her and said, "Since this is going to be your room, you decide where you would like the furniture to be.” This room was pretty much organized. It was apparent Jenny had given some thought to organizing her room.

  When we finished upstairs, we moved down. The furniture I had purchased was very appropriate for the house. I was proud of myself for selecting it and how well all the pieces complimented the others. We spent more than an hour moving things around. When we finished our work, the house had the appearance of something out of "Better Homes and Gardens.”

  I sat down at the dining room table. Jenny brought two glasses and a bottle of wine. We sat there celebrating the new house. Thi
s was going to be the beginning of a new adventure.

  Jenny had been to the school where she was going to be attending. She had received a packet of information. Like me, she was scheduled to give a presentation of two dramatic pieces in a week. I had already selected my presentations. I was anxious to get started on rehearsing them. We talked about the material. We agreed to assist one another to fine tune the presentations.

  I was prepared to present two monologues. One from Shakespeare’s ‘Romeo and Juliet’ and the other from a play entitled ‘The Chocolate Affair’. I was sure that the judges at the theater school were familiar with the Shakespeare monologue, but I was almost positive that the one from ‘The Chocolate Affair’ would be new to their ears. They wouldn’t have anything to compare my work to someone else. Therefore, they wouldn’t have a yardstick to measure my delivery as good, bad or indifferent. Jenny and I agreed to begin rehearsing our presentations the next day. We were resolved to spend a lot of hours honing the deliveries.

  I was scheduled to audition the following Wednesday. Jenny was looking at Monday next. We didn’t do anything but rehearse. We presented to each other for hours at a time. I really didn’t know Jenny that well. I therefore had little knowledge of her theatrical abilities. She was very straight forward in giving her constructive criticism. Some of things she would say, I found to be somewhat hurtful. I followed her lead. I accepted her notes in a professional manner. Much of what she said, after I had time to evaluate her remarks, was very useful. I didn’t know the people who were going to be judging me. These kinds of evaluations are subjective. One person may think my audition is brilliant. Another may think I should go to secretarial school.

  I played the devil’s advocate’ with Jenny too. We were both walking a fine line with our friendship. Criticisms, if one isn’t careful, could possibly destroy a friendship. After several days of being painfully honest with each other, we had a talk. We agreed that what we were saying to the other was done to assure that both of us would give very best performance. "Friends have to be honest with one another. Friends have to accept criticism from their friend as a gift of honesty and good faith,” I assured her.

  I went with Jenny to her audition. I didn’t go into the theater, but waited across the street in a small restaurant. She was in there for about two hours. I considered that to be a positive sign. I waited before I had lunch. I nursed a cup of coffee for the duration of the time. When she finally appeared, I stepped outside and waved to her. She crossed the street in a brisk pace. I noticed she was smiling. I knew immediately, she had been accepted. We went back into the restaurant. We sat down and had lunch. She began to tell me about her experience.

  She said that after she delivered each of her monologues, the committee queried her about the play where the monologue had been extracted. They asked questions about the other characters in the play and how they related to the character she had just recited. Then they dropped a bomb on her. They asked her to present a third piece. Something from a play she had performed in the past. Fortunately, before coming to New York, she had played the lead in the "Heiress.” There was a monologue in the second act she still remembered. It was short, but the character was still embedded in her memory. Since she had the experience of the audience reactions, her delivery was impressionable. It was evident in the eyes of the judges that they were impressed with the piece and her delivery.

  She told me that after the presentation, the judges explained the program in detail. One of the judges took her on a tour of the facilities. They said that the curriculum was for two years. At the end of the second year, the graduating class would be presenting a play to an invited audience of theater professionals on the main stage. The graduating students would be able to add to their resume that they performed on Broadway. Classes were to begin in one month.

  We finished our lunch and took the subway back to Brooklyn. We decided to have dinner at the Italian restaurant a few blocks from the house. We wanted to celebrate her being accepted to the school.

  I spent the next day rehearsing my presentation. Tomorrow was going to be the big day. Jenny gave me her critique in the form of written notes. I would spend time studying them. Then I would present the monologues to her again and again. At the end of the day, I was ready.

  The next morning, I arose early and looked over the material one more time. I asked Jenny to go with me into town and wait nearby. My appointment was scheduled for ten-thirty.

  When we arrived at the theater, as luck would have it, there was a deli directly across the street. Jenny was resolved to wait for me there. I walked into the theater lobby. The young man behind the ticket counter was the same as the last time I was here. He greeted me by my last name. He suggested that I take a seat while he notified the Director. I no sooner sat down when the Director came around the corner. I stood and extended my hand.

  "Are you ready, my dear?” the Director asked.

  "I believe so,” I responded.

  "Good. Then please follow me.”

  We walked down a hallway and down a flight of stairs. At the bottom of the stairs there was a door. The Director opened the door. He stood aside to allow me entrance. Inside the room was a long table with five individuals seated. When they saw me they all stood. The Director began the introductions. I shook each of their hands. I remained standing in front of the table facing them. A woman, I judged to be in her forties, asked me the title of the material from which I would be presenting the monologues. The entire group wrote my response down on note pads in front of them. Then the woman requested that I proceed when I was ready.

  The group was made up of four women and one man. I decided to play the ‘Juliet’ monologue to the man. I turned my back on the group to establish my character. Then I turned, looked directly at the man and began. I had recited the monologue dozens of times to Jenny, but this time it was different. The words had meaning. I could feel the man absorbing every word I was saying. I had eye contact with him. I knew he could feel the love of my character to his ‘Romeo’. When I completed the monologue, there was a deafening silence. Then to my surprise, they spontaneously began to applaud.

  The man to whom I had played the scene said, "Excellent.”

  I knew at that moment, I was going to be accepted. The woman in her forties requested I continue with the second monologue. Once again, I turned my back to the group to get a handle on the character. I turned back with the opening line, "I’m up every day at five.” I took a pause and continued. I played the monologue to the entire group. I was telling them something about this characters life. I was connecting with them. They were connecting with the character. We were all in tune with one another. When I finished, the fortyish woman thanked me. She congratulated me on being accepted into the school. I thanked them for their attention. The Director, who had been standing in the back of the room, took me by the arm and led me out into the hallway.

  "I am now going to take you on a tour of the facilities,” he said.

  The first place he took me was into the theater. It seated about eight hundred with a proscenium stage. Then we went back stage and looked at the dressing rooms. A small ‘Black Box Theater’ that seated about two hundred was located at the other end of the building. There were several other rooms throughout the facility. These were the rooms where the classes are held. The Director told me that classes were held every day, Monday through Friday from about nine to three. Classes would begin the beginning of September and run through May. The program was two years in length. He shook my hand and said that he was happy I would become part of their theater family. He also said he was looking forward to seeing me on the first day of school. Classes were scheduled to begin on the third of September. We shook hands. He walked with me to the lobby.

  I left the theater. As I crossed the street to the deli, I saw Jenny sitting in the window having coffee. When she saw me, she waved. I walked into the deli and sat down across from her. We ordered lunch. Then I shared my experience.

  S
ince I’d been back in New York, Jenny and I hadn’t made love once. We were both too exhausted from preparing for our presentations. I knew that today we would have sex. When I was flying back to New York, I began to think it would be appropriate to explain to Jenny that I didn’t want to have an exclusive relationship with her. I didn’t know her position with having sex with men or if she was strictly lesbian. I knew at some point, it was going to be necessary to make our positions clear to one another.

  As we were sitting there waiting for our lunch, I decided this was the right time for that discussion. "There’s something I think you should know about me.” She looked at me with a puzzled expression. "I’m AC/DC so to speak. I’m attracted equally to men and women sexually. You probably figured that out when I had sex with George a few weeks ago. I also have a sexual interest back in Kansas.” I took a pause and then continued. "I want you to know that I like you a lot and I’m very sexually attracted to you. I want to be honest with you, because there may be others, eventually, here in New York.” She looked at me with a stark expression. It was difficult to understand what she was thinking at that moment. "Do you understand what I’m telling you?” I inquired.

  Several moments passed. Then she said, "Yes. Thank you for being honest with me. My only experience has been with women. I’m not sure I would be comfortable having sex with a man.”

  "That’s something you’ll have to determine yourself. I just thought it would be fair for me to explain where I was coming from before we got too far in our relationship,” I said.

  The waitress brought our lunch. That brought closure to our conversation. We sat quietly and ate. When we were finished, I said, "This is my treat.” I picked up the check and we walked up to the cashier. After I paid, we left the deli. We made our way to the subway.

  On the way back neither of us said anything. When we reached the house, we went into our respective bedrooms. I lay across the bed. I didn’t realize how exhausted I was from the morning’s activity. Within a few minutes, I feel fast asleep.