by Rin Chupeco
It wasn’t supposed to be fair. Wishing for fairness didn’t give us leave to abandon our duties.
I was the goddess meant to be sacrificed. I had forced myself not to dwell on that, though knowing the demoness could leave the Abyss and hunt us made me even more fearful of what was to come. I didn’t want to think about my death. The best way to deal with it was to figure out a loophole, not allow myself to be frightened.
And Lan was supposed to be sacrificed, too. Generations of goddesses before us had to deal with the exact same thing. But if there was a way to break the cycle, we would find it.
“Is it wise to leave them?” I asked. “They’re obviously under a lot of stress, more than anyone else here. They’re the ones stranded thousands of miles from their home.” A home that they no longer had.
The guilt returned.
“People deal in different ways,” Arjun said, his own voice odd. “They haven’t had much chance to be alone since arriving. They need something familiar to hold on to.”
We hadn’t had much chance to be alone since arriving here, either. I remembered our time at the abandoned village close to Brighthenge, the way we’d been all over each other like we were afraid of getting caught, like our time was limited. Neither of us had known how much things were going to change, that privacy would not be a priority. He’d been very good at not pushing it, at not letting us be selfish.
Still. He had promised. And I was under a lot of stress, too. Thinking about him was always a nice distraction, and I seized on the opportunity.
“You told me there were other ways to be alone out here.” I was trying to sound seductive. Or at the very least, flirty. Or was I coming off as pushy instead? Was this how you were supposed to woo a lover? I had no idea what I was doing.
I must have done part of it right, because Arjun’s breath caught, and the look he shot my way was anything but innocent. I was reminded immediately of his expression back at the spring, at his harsh, raspy groan of relief when I’d tried to massage the stump of his arm. Of the house where we’d taken shelter, of the canopy he’d stretched over the makeshift bed and the things we’d done there.
“Are you sure?” How could anyone’s voice go that impossibly deep? I could feel its timbre all the way down my back. “Because I know a place.”
“Very sure,” I whispered, my heart a constant hammering against the anvil of my chest, and watched his eyes darken.
Somebody yelled his name, and then Lan’s. Arjun sighed, and the moment was gone. “What is it now?” he muttered. I could already see Lan stepping out, looking just as disgruntled as he was.
Some of the Fennec and Gila nomads were dragging two boys over toward us. Both were already bound in rope; one wasn’t putting up much of a fight, allowing himself to be led, and the other wasn’t struggling to get free so much as he was protesting the situation. “You can’t treat me like this!” he sputtered. “Unhand me this instant! I’m under the protection of Her Holiness, the goddess Latona!”
That was the wrong thing to say when surrounded by men and women that same goddess had declared war on, so it was fortunate that I recognized him quickly. “Let him go!”
Arjun groaned again—this time out of exasperation.
Lord Vanya brushed the dirt off his trousers—a futile effort, since we were all but surrounded by dirt—and straightened his coat, though the effect was marred by the fact that he was also sweating heavily. He had gone out into the desert dressed like he was attending a debutante ball, all fitted up in heavy wool and shiny leather. In another hour the sun would have baked all the water out of his body, and he would have perished of thirst.
“Get him something to drink,” I commanded. One of the men looked dubious, like they thought it would be wasted on him, but another sharp look from Arjun sent him moving.
“Ah, the city lordling with the degenerate father,” Lisette greeted sweetly, toying with her Howler. “Why aren’t we shooting him yet?”
“You can’t!” Vanya squawked. “I’m demanding sanctuary!”
“You can’t demand sanctuary, you buffoon.”
“Lisette,” I interrupted. “Please.”
The girl scowled. “First your sister defends the cannibals. Now you’re welcoming entitled Golden City nobles into camp. These aren’t the reinforcements we had in mind.”
“Lisette,” Arjun said.
She sighed noisily, and put away her gun.
The other boy smiled sheepishly back at me as a Fennec clan member took off his cap, and I realized she wasn’t a boy at all, but Charley.
“What are you doing here?” I exclaimed, quickly untying her hands before sweeping her up in a hug.
“Escorting the lordling across the desert—and hoping we’d find you soon, because he has not shut up for one second since leaving the city.”
“I had to,” Vanya said, coughing through parched lips. “I had to find Her Holiness.”
“Depends on why you’re looking for her,” Arjun scowled. “You rejected her offer to come with us.”
“I changed my mind.” One of the clan members arrived with a cup of water, and the boy wasted no time gulping the liquid down gratefully. “I had to come here. Miss Charley can vouch for me.”
“I wouldn’t vouch, per se,” the girl demurred. “But he’s got something important that I think Her Holiness ought to know.”
“That’s for me to decide.” Still, I was impressed. As clever and as witty as Vanya had been, and as much as I did like his company in the short time I’d known him, I knew how much he, like every other noble in the Golden City, enjoyed their creature comforts. They didn’t think about the strain on resources it caused for bathtubs to be installed at the Citadel for their pleasure, for them to demand that cool water be made available at all times. They didn’t give much thought to those who had to go without. “Lord Vanya, it’s a long journey from Mother’s palace just to find me. You made it clear that you weren’t interested in going against her, or your father.”
“I had to. I’ve only just realized—” He paused to gape at Odessa, who’d emerged from her tent and come trotting toward us, her face awash with curiosity. Vanya’s room back at Latona’s Citadel had been shrouded in darkness, his nerves further aggravated by the fearful storm and tested to their limits by his father’s sneering contempt. It was only now, with the sun sharp against my sister’s face and no shadows in the way, that he finally saw her clearly.
“You really do look so much like her,” he choked out.
“I’m her twin,” Odessa reminded him gently. I suppose she’d had to deal with nobles like him in the past, too. “We’re supposed to look like each other.”
“You killed one of Father’s soldiers.”
Lan growled, but Odessa remained calm. “I felt like I didn’t have much choice.”
“Her Holiness Latona said you were dead.”
“Her Holiness Latona doesn’t know everything that happens in Aeon.”
“Why are you really here, Vanya?” I demanded.
“I found it!” As soon as his hands were freed, Vanya dug into his coat and produced a book that had clearly seen better days; its pages were frayed and torn along the edges, and there had been attempts to repair the cracked cover, though these were only partially successful. The spine had been reinforced with thick, solid strings stitched into the leather, clearly newer than the book they held together—the work of some craftsman experienced at preservation.
“The Ages of Aeon,” Vanya said hoarsely. “I brought it for you.”
I stared at him.
“It’s why I brought him here,” Charley added helpfully. “Jes wasn’t sure about him but Rodge agreed with me, and Yeong-ho we couldn’t tell because he would be honor-bound to tell Her Holiness Latona if he’d known, like he told you. I thought that if Lady Haidee risked getting caught in the city to look for it, that it had to be more important than anything.”
“Thank you, Charley,” I said, hope blossoming in my chest. “Vanya, y
our father said he destroyed the book.”
“I knew he was lying the instant he said it. Father would never destroy something he thinks he can use as leverage. And I—” He gulped. “Her Holiness Latona doesn’t know he has it, either. I’m sure of that, too. That made me all the more convinced it wasn’t just a book.” He held it up before him like a shield. “I can’t go back to the Golden City. Father would never forgive me. I want to claim sanctuary in exchange for this. I want you to swear it, that you’ll protect me.”
“Why help us now?” Arjun asked bluntly. “You were so keen on doing your best not to incur your father’s wrath, even when he thought you were worthless.”
“Arjun!” I admonished.
“No, he’s right,” Vanya said, looking like it killed him to admit that. “I’ve never gone against Father’s wishes in the past. But I haven’t done much to curry his favor either, especially in light of my other brothers—they’ve led prestigious careers more to his liking. It’s why he’d been grooming me to be Her Holiness’s consort. I would become his direct conduit to Haidee and ruling the Golden City, a position even more illustrious than being part of Latona’s trusted counsel. But I’m taking a stand now. I have to.”
“You’re still not being entirely truthful,” Arjun accused. “If you want to help as much as you say you do, then you’ll stop keeping anything from us. How do we know you’re not setting us up for a future ambush?”
Vanya stood straighter, spots of color on his cheeks. He pointed to Arjun. “I came here because of you.”
“What? Me?”
“You told me that I didn’t deserve Haidee. That I was always going to choose my father over her. But I don’t want to. I want to be worthy of her, too.” Vanya straightened his shoulders. “And it’s more than that. I know Haidee wants to save Aeon, and I do, too. It just took me longer to realize what I had to do. You can’t—you had no right to mock me for not making the right decision after you waylayed me in my own rooms and assaulted my father’s men, without giving me any time to think things through. I spent the whole of yesterday agonizing over why I should remain loyal to him if he’s keeping everyone else from the truth.”
“And how do you know what he’s hiding?” Lan inquired.
“Because I’ve actually read The Ages of Aeon. Of all the books he’s accumulated over the years, that was the only one I was forbidden to look at, which made me even more determined to read it. But I’ve always treated it as fiction. I never thought it could have talked about real events.”
“If the book is as important as your father thinks it is, then what’s to say that they aren’t going to come after it—and you—now?”
“Because the goddess Asteria has been delaying our forces, Lady Lan,” Charley chirped gleefully.
“What?” Odessa cried. “What has Mother been doing?”
“Disabling our jeeps and caravans, to start. They hobbled all the rigs under the cover of another storm.”
“She’s whittling down every advantage Latona has by delaying their next confrontation,” Lan said grimly. “Asteria has the smaller army, so she wants to choose the right moment to face her. Ensure an even fight.”
I shared a worried glance with my sister. Neither of us wanted another battle between them. “Or maybe she doesn’t want to confront Latona at all,” Odessa said.
“I . . .” Vanya faltered. “Is the woman out in the desert really Asteria? Latona’s twin? She destroyed the world and caused the Breaking, didn’t she? They said she was dead.”
“I wish,” Lisette muttered. Something in the desert had caught her attention, because she had taken out her spyglass and was raising it to her eye.
“They both broke Aeon,” I found myself saying. “I know the stories Mother spun to convince you that she was right and Asteria was at fault, but I assure you they’re equally to blame. And Odessa and I are determined to fix their mistakes.”
Vanya stared, not quite ready to believe me just yet, though I could see he was desperately trying to. My heart went out to him. He’d turned against his father for the first time in his life, committed himself to an undertaking that would ruin everything he’d built his life to achieve, and all for principle. He’d told me once that as my consort, he would trust me to rule the Golden City, would defer to me in matters he had little knowledge of. He’d spoken true.
I wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship with him, but I didn’t want to reject his affections in front of everyone. He deserved to hear that in private. “Vanya, do you recall anything else that mentions a ritual? Or anything that refers to Inanna by name?”
“Yes.” He riffled through the pages. “I’ve noted a few passages of that sort before. Here is one:
“Suffer the truth within the quiet temple.
Take the stone, and venture down into the kingdom
to face Ereshkigal’s discontent.
Test your worth; offer
to her, Inanna’s immortality.
She will grieve endlessly for the sister
who slumbers in the house of the dead,
but her tears will save us all.
“And until the Gates of Death and Life intertwine,
Love continues to be the toll.
And she will pay with a half-life.
She will pay.”
“Wait!” I scrambled to my feet and practically ran to my tent, where I kept all my notes on Brighthenge. “That last part was written on one of the plaques at Brighthenge,” I said triumphantly when I returned, flipping the pages until I’d found what I needed. “On the monument that talks about Odessa and me. But everything before the line ‘Test your worth’ wasn’t written there. Neither was ‘And she will pay with a half-life.’ So either a transcriber made a mistake in your book, or . . .”
“Or,” Odessa finished for me, “it was deliberately omitted at Brighthenge.”
Vanya held out The Ages of Aeon to me. I took it, cradled it protectively in my hands. “I’ll read everything,” I swore. “And I’ll figure it out even if it takes me the whole dayspan.” I stepped forward and kissed Vanya chastely on the cheek. Arjun made a grumpy little sound, but I didn’t care. “Thank you. You risked everything to come here. You will always have my friendship for that.”
Vanya’s smile wobbled at the last sentence. “I only want what’s best for you, milady. My admiration for you is—”
“You could have sent Miss Charley over with the book,” Lisette interrupted, still squinting through the glass. “What use do we have for a spoiled lordling out here?”
Vanya glared. “I’ve been trained with the use of guns, and I’m a good shot with a Howler myself.”
“There’s a huge difference between an actual moving target and the little clay pigeons you amuse yourself with in your father’s backyard.”
“I don’t know how good a shot he is, but he definitely can’t go back to the city.” Charley skipped toward the rig they’d driven in on and grabbed at the tarp that was covering the back seat. “Even if Lord Arrenley forgave him for stealing the book, I don’t think he’d forgive his son for all the weapons he stole—”
“Borrowed,” Vanya gasped.
“Stole from him,” Charley insisted. “That’s how I knew he was serious about coming here.”
Arjun harrumphed. “I don’t think a few trinkets he brought along are going to change any—”
Charley whipped the covers off with a flourish. Sunlight gleamed on several dozen top-of-the-line Howlers, sleek and oiled and ready for combat.
“Hell,” Arjun rasped, mouth agape.
“There’s a chance we might be needing them soon,” Lisette said, lowering her spyglass. “I found something.”
“The galla?” I asked, already feeling sick.
“Only marginally better.” Lisette pointed. I saw a dark figure standing in the distance, with dark blue robes and a heavy hood that obscured its features. I heard Arjun draw in a sharp breath, his hands forming fists.
“There’s what
looks to be a mirage hovering just outside our territory,” the Addax clan mistress said, “and I don’t think it’s here to say hello.”
Chapter Thirteen
Arjun and the Mirages
I WAS TWELVE YEARS OLD when I saw my first mirage. Millie had come barging into the cave fresh from patrol, white-knuckled and pale, yelling about how she’d seen one of the desert ghosts prowling the sands and it hadn’t seen her but she had most definitely seen it and she’d finally understood what it felt like to be cold for the first time in its presence and basically she wouldn’t shut up about it.
Naturally, being twelve—only two years since I’d been deprived of a hand and still feeling pissed over the loss—I demanded to see it for myself, as if weird desert phantasms couldn’t technically exist until I’d witnessed them with my own eyes. I was also irrationally put out at Millie for having seen something I hadn’t yet, given how smug she was about it.
Mother Salla had decided to turn it into a learning experience for the rest of us because she knew we were gonna sneak out and see the mirage for ourselves, her foresight being one of the reasons she was our leader.
As it was, our first mirage sighting was almost our last, because Kadmos panicked and tried to shoot at it when it drew too close. He was punished with scrubbing all the sand out from our rig after the mirage sent an unexpected sandstorm our way. We were lucky. We’d heard stories from other clans about people losing their lives inside one of those mirage-powered hurricanes.
But willfully seeking out something that could potentially kill you because of misguided curiosity was a personality flaw of mine.
This time it was the mirage who’d come to our camp. It stood several hundred paces away. From my vantage point, it was nothing more than a black spot in the distance—too far away to see what it was doing there.
But I knew it was watching me.
I’d already spent hours trying to ignore it. I continued to patrol territory. I stood guard over more meetings where Mother Salla and the other clan leaders argued about strategy, about what to do should either Latona or Asteria attack us. Odessa’s prediction that the galla would be coming again had us all on edge, worrying about when and where they would strike. Clan meetings had started devolving into arguments and shouting matches about whether or not Haidee and Odessa could be trusted, whether or not the galla really were coming or if this was the goddesses’ ploy to keep us dependent on them. After marching angrily out of one meeting I decided I’d rather devote my energies to defending camp.