Dirty

by Ella Miles

  Arlo closes his eyes when I say raped me. If I didn’t know him so well, I would just say that he was blinking. It happened so fast. But me saying that he raped me stung him. I don’t understand why, but it did.

  I want to talk to him about what happened. Because, clearly, I’m missing something, just like I’m missing everything else.

  “You don’t care about Arlo?” Matteo says with a raised eyebrow.

  “No.”

  Matteo nods. “You’re feeling better, aren’t you, beautiful? Much stronger?”

  I nod, not sure where he is going with this.

  “Good. Then, I think it’s time you show Arlo here that your feelings have shifted.”

  I cock my head to the side as I look at Matteo.

  “I’ll give you a choice. Suck me, or suck Arlo.”

  I freeze. I knew that, eventually, Matteo would want something sexual from me. He is a man after all and a man who supposedly owns me for the next seven years. But I didn’t think he would be so crass about it. I thought that, someday, we would have sex, but it would be on my terms. Not his.

  “No.”

  Matteo smiles. “It wasn’t a yes or no question. It was a choice. Just like every other time. Suck me, or suck Arlo.”

  “No,” I say again. I will not suck either of these men. Not until I’m ready.

  “Choose, beautiful. Arlo needs to see that you don’t care about him anymore. He needs to see that I’m the one you think about when you sleep. He needs to see that you’ve only been here a few weeks, and he’s already lost.”

  I turn from Matteo to Arlo and then back. “No. You won’t force me. You won’t hurt me. I won’t do it.”

  Matteo nods. “I would never hurt you, beautiful.” He strokes my cheek. “You know that. But Arlo won’t show you the same courtesy. You need to choose. Suck me or him.”

  I look back to Arlo, and I see the hardness that was there when he raped me creeping back into his eyes. I don’t have any doubt that he will do it all over again in a second if I don’t obey his brother’s command.

  I grab Matteo’s hair and forcefully kiss him, passionately putting everything I can into the kiss. I suck on his tongue. His lips. Everything, letting him know exactly how I want him to think I feel about him.

  And then I break away from him. I see his cocky smirk slowly vanish as I get out of the bed. My legs are a little shaky since I’ve barely used them this week. But I stand and walk over to where Arlo is standing at the foot of the bed.

  It takes all of my strength to take each step, both physically and mentally, because I want to walk almost anywhere but toward Arlo. But I won’t let him or anyone else break me again.

  I stumble on the last step, and Arlo grabs me, keeping me from falling face-first into the ground. I don’t know why he does it. He likes seeing me in pain while on the ground, whimpering in front of him. Maybe it’s the small piece of him that still cares. The small piece that is like his brother.

  “Let me go.” I don’t want his help. I’d rather hit the floor.

  “You don’t have to do this.”

  I nod my head. “Yes, I do.”

  I won’t let him punish me for not listening to him.

  Arlo carefully lets me go as he tests to make sure that I can stand on my own.

  I take my time, and as I slowly kneel in front of Arlo. It might look like a weakness, but it feels more like my strongest moment. Matteo wanted me to suck him. He thought I’d choose him, but I will never choose someone who forces me to do anything. I feel defiant and strong.

  Sucking Arlo will do nothing to me. It means nothing to me. I’ve already fucked him. And, if I’m completely honest with myself, he has a good cock that I would love to taste and feel again, if it were my decision. On my terms. And if I didn’t have a husband waiting for me.

  This is on my terms, I think.

  Arlo didn’t ask for this. I can take something from him, just like he took something from me.

  I undo the button on his gray slacks and then push them down over his hips. I grab his briefs and pull them down, too, trying to keep my balance as his cock springs free.

  I smirk. It’s already hard.

  He wants me.

  I turn him on.

  That’s power.

  I just need to figure out the best way to use my power over the Carini men, and then maybe I’ll find my freedom.

  I sway just a little, getting dizzy from being out of bed. I grab his hips for support to keep myself upright. I’m not strong enough to even kneel without having to hold myself up. But I’m not going to let the pain, bruises, or weakness stop me.

  I take his cock into my mouth, and I’m rewarded with his groan.

  I have the power.

  I take him further in as I taste his pre-cum already dripping down my throat. I love the taste. I love the feel of his cock in my throat even though I hate him.

  So wrong.

  I suck him all the way in until his cock is deep in my throat, and I almost gag from the fullness in my mouth.

  Arlo’s hand tangles in my hair, and his eyes roll back in his head.

  I run my lips all the way back to his tip and then back to his base. I get into a rhythm, using only my lips and my tongue to suck his hard cock. I feel powerful with each grunt and groan. That I can make him feel this way with just my mouth.

  Arlo is not a man who loses control easily, but with my mouth around his dick, he does.

  He’s not thinking about what he’s doing. He’s not thinking about how his brother is watching him. Or that I’m nothing more than his slave who is getting him off. I’m not his lover or his friend. I’m a slave who will do anything to get free.

  Even play with his mind. I’ll slash his throat in his sleep or shoot him straight in the heart in the daylight. I don’t care, but he’ll be dead along with most of his family by the time I leave here.

  I move my lips faster, not letting his pleasure last longer than I want it to. I milk him until his warm cum pours deep into my throat.

  When I finally release him, he looks shocked. I took something from him without asking, and it felt good. Even if the thing I took brought him immense pleasure, it was a start.

  He lets go of my hair and quickly tucks himself back into his pants. I have to grab on to the floor to keep my balance.

  Arlo angrily looks at me. “I just came to tell you that you’re safe. Enrico is out of town for the next month. You can leave Matteo’s room whenever you want. You’ll be safe.”

  Arlo turns and leaves without another word.

  He doesn’t get to have the last word. Not like that. He doesn’t get to tell me that I’m safe when he’s still lurking in the next room. I won’t be safe until I’m back in Heath’s arms.

  He doesn’t get to leave.

  I run after him. Not allowing him to just leave.

  12

  Arlo

  I hear her running after me. She’s not quiet on a normal day, and her injuries have made her that much louder, making it impossible for her to sneak up on me.

  I could easily outrun her. Especially when she’s so weak. But I don’t. For no other reason than I want to be close to her.

  I stop abruptly and turn just in time to catch her from falling again.

  “You have to stop doing that,” she says as she pushes herself off my chest but not before I get a whiff of her shampoo and the feel of her body against mine again.

  “Stop doing what? Stop saving you?”

  She frowns, and her cheeks flush bright red with anger. “You have never saved me. Stop pretending that you actually care. You don’t give a shit about me!”

  I wait for a second for her to get her anger out. She takes several deep breaths, and when I think she has calmed down, I say, “Are you finished lecturing me? I have some places I need to be.”

  “No, I’m not finished. Not even close. You don’t get to tell me I’m safe. I’m not safe! I won’t ever be safe again, not until I’m home in my own bed. Stop tryi
ng to save me one second and then fuck me the next. You don’t get to pretend you care. The only person who cares about me is Matteo.”

  I laugh. “You think Matteo cares about you more than I do? He’s just as fucked up as I am. He’s messing with your head. Can’t you see that? He wants to fuck you and control you, just like every other man in this house. He’s just like me. He just plays the game differently.”

  “What fucking game? You think getting your jollies by messing with me like a play toy is a game? I’m not a game. This is my life you are messing with!”

  “And it was our lives you messed with when you took that drink, knowing full well that I would save you. I warned you. I told you not to. You did it anyway. And, now, you have to pay the consequences.”

  I start walking away, but she half-runs and half-stumbles after me.

  “Stop!”

  I run my hand through my hair, hating obeying anyone’s commands, even hers.

  “What do you want from me? You think I have the power to rescue you. You think I have a heart that will make me let you go. That’s what you want, right? For me to save you?”

  She freezes with her eyes wide.

  “You’re fucking wrong if you think I have that kind of power. Or that, even if I did, I would want to save you. You’re nothing to me. Just another slave I have to deal with until you finally leave. You’re just another distraction from getting my work done.”

  “You’re a monster. I already knew that.”

  I nod. “My father’s a monster. Same with my sister. Even my brother won’t save you.”

  “He’s not a monster,” she whispers, but I can hear it in her voice that she doesn’t even believe herself. She just wishes it were true.

  I smirk. “Matteo didn’t save you from my father. I did.”

  Her eyes widen again. “You didn’t save me. You raped me! Matteo was the one who took care of me. He healed me. He dressed my wounds. He gave me pain medicine. He fed me. He stayed with me through sleepless nights and took away my nightmares. He saved me.”

  I laugh. “Matteo took advantage of the situation. He took care of you because that is what he does. He plays games with your head. He makes women let their guards down, and then he pounces when they least suspect. He’s playing you.”

  She shakes her head like it can’t be true, but I see the realization buried in her eyes. She knows what I’m saying is true.

  “He’s still a better man than you will ever be!” she yells at me like it’s an insult.

  I smile. “You’re probably right. He is a better man than I will ever be. It doesn’t change the fact that I saved you, not him.”

  She folds her arms across her chest, and I see the shaking in her legs. She’s trying to act strong, but she’s fading fast. Matteo did a good job of taking care of her. Almost too good of a job. He let her get weak instead of building her stronger.

  “You didn’t save me.”

  “Why do you think I fucked you?”

  “You didn’t fuck me. You raped me!”

  “I raped you to save you from my father. He wouldn’t have stopped until you were dead. He hates you more than he hates most of the slaves.”

  “Why does he hate me so much?”

  “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I did the only thing that would get you out of there. I pretended to be just like him.”

  “You are just like him.”

  I sigh. “You’re right; I am. But you’re alive because of me, not Matteo.”

  “I still hate you,” she whispers.

  “I know. You should hate me. But you should also hate Matteo.”

  She narrows her eyes, not following my logic.

  “I didn’t force you to suck my dick. Matteo did. He’s not your friend any more than I am. If you hate me, you should hate him, too.”

  She smirks. “What makes you think I’ve ever felt anything more than hate toward him?”

  I step closer to her until I’m towering over her, letting her know that, as much as she was in control when she was sucking my dick, I’m in control now.

  “Because you kissed him and sucked me. You think of him as a possible lover and me as your owner. Don’t let anyone play with your mind, Nina. Not him. Not my family. Not even me.”

  I want to kiss her. I want to fuck her. I want to protect her. But I can’t.

  If she wants out of the contract she signed, then she has to do it herself. I have to stick to my plan. I have to save myself.

  13

  Nina

  I made a mistake.

  I thought Arlo or Matteo cared about me.

  I thought I was the one in control and playing games. But Arlo’s words have made me realize what a mistake that was. I have no control. And, as far as games go, they are the ones who are playing games.

  I just don’t understand why. Or even what game they are playing.

  Why aren’t they all treating me like a slave? Why aren’t they fucking me whenever they want? Beating me like their father did?

  I don’t understand any of it.

  Arlo might be done talking, but Matteo isn’t.

  I walk back to Matteo’s room. Every step draining more and more energy out of my body until I have hardly anything left when I make it back to his bedroom.

  I’m panting and sweaty, and I can’t focus on anything because of the pain. That’s all I feel—the pain. In my legs, my arms, my head. Everything hurts.

  I bend over and put my hands on my knees, like I just ran a marathon. I hate what that bastard did to me. I’ve never felt so weak in my entire life.

  I feel Matteo’s hand on my shoulder before I see him.

  “You should get back into bed. You pushed yourself to your limit, and now, you just need to rest and gather your strength for tomorrow,” he says gently to me.

  I take a couple of more breaths, and then I stand up and see that Matteo is fully dressed in a suit. He’s barely worn any clothes this last week since I’ve been here. So, it’s weird, seeing him clothed, much less so sharply dressed.

  Matteo nods toward his bed, and I don’t argue. I let him lead me toward his bed. He helps me in, and the pain slowly starts to subside. The weakness stays with me though.

  “Better?”

  I nod. “Why are you wearing a suit?”

  He smiles, although I can see a hint of sadness in his eyes that I haven’t seen before.

  “Because, believe it or not, I have a job that doesn’t involve lying in bed all day and night with you.”

  “When do you have to leave?”

  “Five minutes,” he says without looking at his watch.

  I frown. Even though I’m pissed at him, I still don’t want to be alone.

  He laughs at my pout. “Don’t pretend that you care if I’m here or not. You clearly prefer my brother to me. I’m just your protector. I get it. As soon as all your wounds have healed, I’ll send you to his bed.”

  I carefully consider my next words. I don’t want him to know that I know they are both just playing games with me. But I need to have my questions answered. Until I have more information, I need to stick to my original plan. To get them all to care about me. Maybe even fall in love with me. So that they will let me go. I know love is stronger than anything. Make them fall in love with me, and then I’ll be free.

  “I care about Arlo,” I say.

  Matteo cocks his head to one side. “You’re obsessed with him, is what I heard.”

  I nod. “I’m obsessed. Even though he’s done horrible things to me. Stolen me from my husband. Raped me. And didn’t even bother to take care of me afterward. I still care about him. I’m obsessed. It’s my personality. I can’t control it. Just like I can’t control my feelings toward you either. Even though you made me suck your brother’s dick.”

  He raises an eyebrow. “And what are your feelings toward me?”

  “I’m becoming obsessed with you, too.”

  He laughs. “I don’t believe you, beautiful. You gave me a chaste ki
ss and sucked him.”

  “With Arlo, it’s just about sex. That’s all the obsession has ever been. Wanting to get into his pants. But, with you, we started differently. You became my friend, my caretaker, my protector. I didn’t want to suck you off just because you commanded me to. With you, I want our first time to be special,” I say, pushing all thoughts of Heath out of my mind. I can’t think about how much I might be hurting him. All I can think about is getting free at any cost.

  Matteo studies me with his arms folded across his chest. “I don’t believe you, beautiful. I think you want Arlo and no one else.”

  “I kissed you. I didn’t kiss him. We have something different. Something that I will never have with Arlo.”

  “Prove it,” he says with a dare in his eyes.

  I crook my finger at him. “Come here.”

  Matteo takes a seat on the edge of the bed, like he always does when he is about to take care of me.

  I hesitate as the smell of his cologne washes over me. It’s sexy and manly, and it immediately makes me want him. But I feel so weak that I’m not sure I can even lift my head off the bed again, much less hit on Matteo or have sex with him.

  And do I want to have sex with him?

  So far, I’ve done nothing on my own. I’ve always been ordered or raped. I’ve never had the choice. The decision being mine should make it easier for me, but it doesn’t. It makes me feel dirty.

  It’s wrong.

  I shouldn’t fuck any of these men. I’m married. But it might be my only chance. Make them fall for me, and then I can return to my husband.

  I grab Matteo’s neck, and I pull him down so that I can kiss him. The kiss is rough, not like our previous kisses. It’s full of moans and growls, tugging of lips and sucking of tongues. It feels desperate. It’s my attempt at taking back control. But Matteo feels just as desperate for the kiss as I am.

  When I kiss Matteo, I try to pretend like I’m kissing Heath, but I quickly realize how much of a mistake that is. Heath’s kisses were perfect. But Matteo’s kisses take everything to another level. His kisses rock my whole body, making me feel the kiss deep in my belly.