Dirty

by Ella Miles

  I hear her careful footsteps against the tile and then she’s standing in the doorway of the bedroom. Her eyes flicker to the bed and then to me.

  Fear.

  I see it in her eyes this time, but she blinks, and it’s gone.

  She takes deep breaths in and out, and I can’t take my eyes off her breasts as they rise and fall.

  I glance at the clock on the wall. Nine PM. Three hours until this day is over. And I plan on using every single one of them fucking Gia. She doesn’t know it yet, but tonight will be the longest night of her life.

  “You can’t hide your fear, beautiful. I can see it in your eyes. Hear it in your breath. It oozes out of you.”

  “I’m not afraid of you.”

  I shake my head as I walk to her.

  “Yes, you are.”

  “No.”

  I stop in front of her, watching as her breathing picks up speed, and she tries to anticipate my next move.

  I touch her cheek letting my finger travel slowly down her neck. Goosebumps form over her arms. I love mixing calm with roughness. I like the extremes. I like being rough with a woman and seeing her limits.

  In a split second, I change. I grab her body roughly and slam her to the bed. Her eyes close to keep in the pain. I expect her to tell me to stop at any point. I know she will last longer than this, for no reason other than her pride, but I know there will be more fear when she opens her eyes.

  I walk slowly to the edge of the bed where I laid out my toys for tonight, so she could anticipate what is coming next, and her fear would intensify.

  I grab the rope in my hand, feeling the threads, as I wait for her to open her eyes.

  She does, and I get the most beautiful view into her soul. It’s not fear I see. It’s lust, and my darkness reflecting back at me. Being rough with her turned her on.

  I smirk, knowing it won’t last.

  She eyes the rope in my hand, and she licks her lips slowly.

  I grab her wrist and stretch her hand to the end of the bed, tying it to the bedpost. She tests the rope as I move to her second hand. It’s only when both hands are tied up, does the panic start to creep in.

  My lips lower to hers, and I kiss her roughly, enjoying her arms tied up, knowing she can’t get free. At least, she thinks she can’t get free. All she would have to say is one word, and I’d stop: “no.” The second she says it this ends. I’m a monster, but not a rapist. I like hurting my victims by pushing them to their limit and not letting them know the rules.

  When I pull back, her mouth lingers trying to kiss me further. I grab her ankle and tie it to the bedpost and then spread her other leg wide and tie it to the other bedpost.

  She pants, both wanting me to come back and scared of what comes next, as she looks over at the items lying next to her. I take my time walking over to the dresser where I placed the camera.

  I press the top, and the red light comes on, indicating the camera is on.

  “I have clients tomorrow I owe a large debt to. They would love to see a video of my hot new slave.”

  I would never show your body to any man.

  “I owe them for saving my life. They might cancel my debt if I share you with them.”

  I would never share you with anyone.

  Her eyes flicker with every word.

  “I don’t believe you,” she says, but her eyes focus in on the camera. She thinks she knows who I am, but she’s never seen what turns me on. What I crave more than anything.

  I walk toward her, my mind racing with all the horrendous things I want to do to her body. Whip her, bite her, suffocate her, cut her, fuck her. I want to mark her body. I want her to know she is mine. I want her to follow my every command. I want to know every inch of her body.

  “You should,” I say, grabbing the whip and hitting her smooth stomach with it.

  She arches her back against the sharp pain, and she groans quietly, low in her throat. It’s enough to make me hard in an instant and forget everything shitty about this day.

  I strike her again, this time over her throbbing pussy. I get the reaction I need. A sharp cry followed by her body writhing against the rope keeping her body in position for me.

  Normally, I would be able to be patient with her. Take my time to bring each strike. Take my time with each method of torturing her body. But today, I’m too worked up. I need to do everything to her body all at once. Afterward, I will take my time. My breathing has quickened, and my pulse is a venom shooting through my body with the need to own her body as no man has before.

  She’s going to hate me.

  She raises her eyebrow like she knows I might back down. I might stop. We both want me to continue, just for entirely different reasons.

  I can’t stop. Not unless she says no.

  “Please,” she begs. It’s not a plea to stop; it’s a plea to continue.

  I toss the whip on the floor after striking her body several more times, watching her perfect flesh turn pink in every place I hit her. And every time I’m rewarded with a cry, a groan, and, once, a tear. It hurts, but she doesn’t tell me to stop.

  I love her cries, it feeds the darkness, but when I climb up on the bed and find her thighs wet with her desire, I lose my fucking mind. She likes my darkness.

  I can’t wait to be inside her. So I grab her hips and take her all at once, my cock driving inside her.

  She winces from the pain, but I don’t give her time to rest. I fuck her hard as my mouth devours her breasts. I bite hard on her nipple.

  And I know she would have slapped me if her hands were free. Her body jerks at the sharp pain.

  “Want me to stop, princess?”

  I lick her nipple, softening the pain before I strike again.

  “Never,” she whispers, but I’m not sure even she believes her own words.

  I grin before biting down hard again. I move my mouth up, needing to leave a permanent mark with my teeth, branding her as mine. I bite down hard on the fleshy part of her breast.

  “Fuck you, Conti!”

  Just the reaction I was hoping for. My dick grows harder inside of her, reaching depths I haven’t explored yet.

  I’ve tied her up, beaten her, exposed her to other men, and bitten her. But it’s not enough. She feels the pain. She’s experienced what I’m capable of. But she’s not been terrified.

  I kiss her roughly, our tongues tangling and fighting with each other, telling me everything she is feeling. She’s feeling a lot of emotions right now, but the main emotion she pushes through is determination. Don’t stop.

  Never.

  The words she spoke earlier ring in my head. Never is a long time.

  I grab the knife, the last of the toys for tonight. I bring it to her neck, and she freezes. The knife scares her. I knew it would. I’ve seen the fear in her eyes when Dante used it on her before.

  I let her feel the cold metal against her neck. Let her know her life is in my hands. How easy it would be for me to kill her if I wanted to.

  “You’re so beautiful,” I say, surprising us both with my compliment at this moment.

  I swallow hard, needing to see her bleed.

  She bites her lip, still holding her breath as she stares at me, realizing how big of a mistake she just made. I still my cock inside her.

  “I want to make you bleed. I want you to know your body is mine to do as I please. And now that you’ve offered your body so willingly to me, you’re mine, forever.”

  She sucks in a breath when I say forever, and I take the moment to scar her body. The knife pierces her skin at her neck, spilling red blood onto her glorious neck.

  “Fuck!” she cries out as the pain hits her. I drive my cock inside her, hitting the glorious spot inside that will mark this moment not only with pain but pleasure.

  My tongue laps over the cut, moving the blood over her neck while I continue to fuck her.

  Tears trickle down her cheek, but she doesn’t tell me to stop. She doesn’t tell me to go to hell. She doesn’
t curse me at all.

  She lets me fuck her.

  I grab her neck, smearing the blood across her perfect skin as I do. I squeeze and watch the panic rise in her eyes as she can’t catch her breath.

  I fuck her harder, faster until she is mine completely. Mine to keep alive. Mine to make come. Mine to let die.

  “Come, princess.”

  “I—”

  “Come.” I don’t want to hear any words except her glorious screams as she comes.

  I loosen my grip on her neck and dive my head down to kiss her and bring her back to life. She moans into my mouth taking my oxygen from me. And then she comes, screaming my fucking last name. The only name she knew to call me for all those weeks when Dante thought she was his. She was never his; she was always mine.

  I shoot my cum into her tight cunt. Marking her again as mine. As soon as I finish, I take the knife and cut her arms and legs free.

  And then I wait for the slap. I wait for the curse. I wait for the yelling.

  Instead, she cries.

  Shit.

  I really did break her.

  I run to the bathroom, grab a wet washcloth and some band-aids to heal her.

  I sit carefully on the bed next to her as she cries more tears. Her hands are gripping her neck where blood still oozes.

  I slowly push her hands down as I press the washcloth to her skin.

  “I’m sorry. My monster is horrible. I’m sorry I hurt you. You should have told me to stop, and I would have.”

  Gia stops crying almost instantly. “You didn’t hurt me.”

  I frown. “Your neck is bleeding. Your body is pink and red where I struck you. Your pussy is battered after how roughly I fucked you without making sure you were ready for me. I hurt you.”

  She pushes my hand down.

  “No, you didn’t. I thought you would. I was prepared for it. I thought after talking with Adela that I hated you. I just needed you to push me a little harder, and I would hate you forever. I knew you would push me far and rip me to pieces. I thought doing so would fill me with enough anger, all I would focus on going forward is the need to get my revenge on you.”

  I nod, understanding her need for revenge. I used her tonight to get my revenge.

  “But I don’t hate you.”

  “How? You must hate me.” I hate me.

  “What Adela told me about you, hurt. I thought I could never forgive you, but just now I realized something. You were my guardian angel.”

  “Huh?”

  “You watched me the entire time I was with Dante, didn’t you?”

  I suck in a breath, not liking where this is going.

  “Didn’t you?” she presses again.

  “Yes, I watched you.”

  She smiles, and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

  “You watched me and made sure I could survive. I don’t know why you left me with him for as long as you did, but as soon as you realized I couldn’t make it one more day, you got me out.”

  She takes a deep breath.

  “Tonight, you repeated every horrible thing Dante did to me. But you didn’t take anything from me. You didn’t hurt me. You gave me my life back. You gave me my freedom. You let me choose the darkness. And you helped me replace the negative memories with something beautiful.”

  My mouth twitches, not agreeing or disagreeing with her.

  “You made me stronger.”

  I look her up and down. I can’t disagree with that. She looks stronger. Her eyes are clearer. Her body sits more upright. And when she smiles, she really smiles.

  “And you made me fall in love with the darkness. I’ve been fighting it my entire life. But I’ve always been the princess of darkness. This is my home. And you gave me the power for that to be okay.”

  She leans forward and kisses me softly on the lips. “Thank you.”

  She pulls me to her and hugs me. Of all the ways I thought this was going to go, I never thought this was a possibility. I don’t know what just happened, but I want it to happen again. I’m addicted to her body now.

  “Again,” she whispers into my ear before releasing me.

  I grin. “You sure?”

  She laughs. “No, but I want you. You excite and terrify me, and yet, I’ve never felt so free as when I’m with you.”

  I nod. I understand. I’ve only ever felt that way once, and then it was taken from me. I won’t let Gia ever leave my side.

  I still see the need for revenge in her eyes, but it’s lessened a little. And when she looks at my body, I see the lust for more. She wants me, monster and all.

  She thinks I didn’t hurt her. I hope she’s right. But I’m afraid I have, she just doesn’t know it yet.

  14

  Gia

  I’m sick.

  That’s what last night made me realize. I’m one sick and twisted motherfucker. I loved what Caspian did to my body last night. I loved every mark, every scar, every sharp intake of pain.

  I loved every kiss, every tease, and every thrust.

  I loved it all.

  I’ve never felt so free, and yet so trapped. I had a plan before. Find the hate and the need for revenge to free myself from him, but now, I can’t live without our messed up sex.

  I’m not sure I would ever come again with plain missionary sex. I want more.

  I know yesterday was a bad day for Caspian. Something happened beyond just getting shot. He didn’t tell me what, and honestly, it doesn’t matter. He shared something much more precious with me. His true self.

  He thought I would run afterward. He thought I would hate him. But now, I’m afraid I might love him.

  I love his dark.

  I love his light.

  I need to find my place in this mess. Find a way to live in this world when I’m still consumed with a past that won’t let me go. And the only way to truly stay with Caspian is if he grants me my freedom. Lets me choose whether I want to stay or go.

  I don’t know what I would choose if he gave me a choice at freedom right now. I want to explore Caspian more. See if he is the missing piece in my life. But I also want my revenge. I want to find my own way. I want to see my family.

  “Good morning, beautiful,” Caspian says, kissing me softly on the lips.

  I smile and stretch; my body is completely sore from the twistedness of last night. This morning, the darkness is gone, and I see nothing but light in his eyes. Today he’s Caspian, while last night he was Conti.

  Conti is his darkness, while Caspian is the light. He may not realize it, but I love both parts of him. I couldn’t take one without the other.

  “Morning, Caspian.”

  “I’m Caspian again, huh?”

  I nod. “Yes. Caspian is the person you are in front of most people. Conti, you reserve for the most intense situations.”

  “Which do you prefer?”

  I shrug. “I like both parts of you.”

  He squeezes me, pulling me to him. It seems so normal. Something any couple would do in the morning after having sex all night. The difference is last night. It was the opposite of normal. But it was also everything I never knew I wanted.

  “Come with me today.”

  I sit up, staring at him like he’s just turned into an alien.

  “What?” I ask even though I heard him perfectly well.

  “Come with me to Rome. I have a client I have to meet with for a couple of days, so I have to go to Rome.”

  I half smile as I bite my lip, trying to keep my feelings under wrap. I don’t want him to know I love what he is asking me. To go with him.

  “Why?” I ask even though I know why. He doesn’t want to be apart. And he’s giving me a tiny bit of freedom. A reward for last night. No, maybe reward isn’t the right word. Appreciation, maybe? Or he’s claiming me as his.

  “Because I’m selfish and don’t want to be separated from you. I need you with me. Always.”

  Always.

  I love that word.

  God, I’v
e got to stop saying, love. I don’t love Caspian Conti. I don’t even know him. And the parts I do know about him scare me.

  I’m just infatuated with him. Especially after what happened last night.

  There is still a part of me that is pissed at him for not saving me right away. I need to hold onto that part before I let the part that adores him consume me.

  It’s clear last night affected him the same way it did me.

  “I’ll go with you,” I say. I want to ask him questions. I want to push this. I want to ask if this is the first step toward him granting me my freedom. But I don’t.

  It’s enough for now. Soon, I will take my freedom, whether he grants it to me or not.

  “I’m not playing a game with you,” Caspian says for the hundredth time in the ten minutes we’ve been in the car.

  I pout. “Why not? If you don’t, I’m going to sing horribly along to the radio the entire time.”

  He frowns. “How about we sit quietly in the car on the way?”

  “No, that’s not fun. We always sit quietly. We never talk. We hardly know anything about each other.”

  “I know plenty about you.”

  I roll my eyes. “Only things you or Adela have looked up about me. Nothing directly from me.”

  I reach for the radio and turn it on. A Demi Lovato song comes on, and I start singing at the top of my lungs about having daddy issues. The irony is striking because I do have daddy issues.

  Caspian turns the radio off, but I keep singing.

  “Fine,” he relents.

  I grin from ear to ear. “So the rules are we get to take turns asking each other anything. And we have to answer each other’s questions to get another turn.”

  “And if I don’t want to answer?”

  “Then, I win the game.”

  “And the winner gets?”

  I’ve thought about this carefully. I could offer him something sexual, but he already knows I will do anything he wants without this silly game. I could ask for something worthy of playing, like my freedom, but then he wouldn’t play or would just lie. I have nothing to offer him, but I know he’s competitive. He hates losing. It’s enough. I want this game to be light anyway. I’ll only ask the tough questions when I want the game to be over.