But then the music stopped.
And I…
“Oh my God. Oh… my… God!”
Malia pushed me away, holding a hand to her mouth as she grabbed her bag, stuffing her spare shoes and clothes inside before taking off towards the doors.
“Malia! Malia, wait! I’m sorry!”
I tried to catch up with her. But by the time I made it outside, she was already halfway down the block. And I just stood there, dazed as I watched her disappear into the sunset.
I couldn’t believe what had happened, couldn’t believe I had lost all control. But then again, how surprised could I be?
I knew how I felt, and I knew how much dancing with her only enhanced those feelings. But now I had freaked her out, probably to the point where she wouldn’t want to work with me anymore.
It was a lot to digest. But in the moment, I was most grateful that I hadn’t pressed record.
Malia
I was pretty sure I didn’t take a full, complete breath until I made it inside of the first set of apartment doors.
I couldn’t… think, let alone breathe until I knew I was completely out of his reach, completely safe, completely… back in control. I leaned against the wall, grazing my fingertips against my lips as I finally took the chance to really process what had happened.
We were just… dancing, having some fun, sharing some friendly fire.
But then…
But then the friendly fire turned into not just a little flame from a lighter, but a wildfire. Natural, unstoppable, something you have better been prepared for otherwise you’re doomed. And let me tell you, I was far from prepared.
I mean, sure I felt something for Blaise. Our chemistry was undeniable, particularly on the dance floor. But in the back of my head, I always considered him out of my league; unavailable. And apparently the likes of Charlotte must’ve slipped his mind because he certainly didn’t kiss me like a taken man. More like a man on a mission to get right into my panties.
If the music hadn’t stopped...
I shuddered down the wall just thinking about it.
This was a mess and I couldn’t blame anyone but myself. I shouldn’t have been so daring, trying things and manipulating my body in ways I knew he would like. Sure, it was a “friendly competition”, but internally I knew my motivation went far beyond that.
I wanted him to be attracted to me.
I wanted to feel sexy.
I wanted to be… irresistible.
But that didn’t mean I thought it was actually gonna happen.
This was Blaise-fuckin’-Anthony; a guy that could easily have any girl he wanted. But I made him want me, so much so that he pushed any and everything else to the side- morals included - just so we could share that moment together.
I sighed, popping up from my spot on the floor so that I could head up the stairs. It was still fairly early, only a little after 7 o’clock, so I expected Mama to be on the couch watching one of her primetime sitcoms. And she was, her mouth a little slack as she let out the slightest hum of a snore. I figured she must’ve dozed off in between commercials, so I took the remote from her hand and set it on the table.
“Hey, I was watching that,” she grumbled as she adjusted in her seat.
“I didn’t change it, ma,” I replied, making me way to the kitchen to see if she had made anything for dinner though I really didn’t have much of an appetite. Well… I did have an appetite. But not for anything food-related.
“What are you doing just now getting home? I know you ain’t comin’ from work looking like that.”
I looked down at my outfit - a t-shirt, baggy sweatpants and my dancing boots - completely forgetting I hadn’t taken the chance to change clothes as usual. It was the last thing on my mind for obvious reasons.
Still, I tried not to sound too invested as I told her, “I was down at the studio getting some work in.”
Yeah, you were about to get that work alright…
“The studio? Malia, don’t you play with me. I told you about all that dancing shit, didn’t I?”
“Yes, ma. But this is something I wanna do. Something just for me.” The least she could do was let me have an ounce of my own peace, even if it wasn’t exactly the most kumbaya part of my life at the moment.
“How can you afford dance classes anyway? I know next quarter’s tuition must be due soon.”
I cringed at the word “tuition” before giving her the most honest answer that I could. “I’m actually getting some free lessons from the owner. He thinks I’m good and wanted to help me get even better.” Gosh, I hated that I even had to talk about him right now.
I wasn’t mad, I was just… confused. Confused by the fact that I had thought myself out of him even possibly being attracted to me, only to find out that he felt exactly that once I poked the beast. Well, felt it enough to pin me against the wall and kiss me into a stupor.
Mama’s booming voice snapped me out of my post-evaluation of the situation. “Get even better for what? You’re almost twenty-three years old, Malia. And it’s not like Soul Train is around anymore to magically discover you. So what exactly are you planning to do?”
“I don’t know, ma. Still trying to figure that out,” I answered in a deliberately annoyed tone. I was already going through enough on my own, so I really wasn’t interested in piling on some of her stuff too.
But she didn’t help my cause one bit, her voice reeking of sarcasm as she replied, “Right. Of course you are. Always making these bullshit, lofty goals for your life instead of seeing reality as is. If you were gonna be a professional dancer, it would’ve happened already. And did it happen? No. So get your head out of the clouds and get back down to earth for crying out loud!”
That one forced me to clap back. “It’s only lofty because you don’t get it. You think everyone is supposed to get a piece of fancy paper with their name on it, take that to an employer, and use it as a ticket to nine-to-five slavery for the rest of their lives. But that’s not me, ma. I can really do this. I am gonna do this.”
My chest was literally heaving from defending myself, but she still acted as if she didn’t care; instead choosing to head out of the kitchen instead of acknowledging my outpour.
But she didn’t get too far before she turned around to toss out a bitter, “Whatever, child. Just know you better not let dance get in the way of working on that ticket.”
Blaise
She didn’t show up.
I had a feeling she wouldn’t, that the whole kiss thing had pushed things completely out of bounds, and I certainly couldn’t blame her. I mean, it was so unlike me to get that caught up in dancing. But then again, this wasn’t the first time that it had happened with her.
It was something about the way she did it, as if dance was the only way for her to communicate a different, edgier and frankly more honest side of her. While she was all sweet and bubbly on any given day, once she hit that dance floor, she was sexy, and bold, and… irresistible.
What made things even more complicated was that I was immensely attracted to both; the fact that she could just be a genuinely kind individual, but still take no prisoners once a beat dropped. It was like the perfect combination, the perfect mix, and for me, the ideal woman.
But I fucked that up.
Man, did I fuck that up.
Because instead of letting her take the lead, find a pace to our attraction that worked for her, I had taken charge in a major way by being the first to pounce. And there was no taking that back now.
She probably wouldn’t even trust herself to be around me alone again and that was honestly the last thing I wanted to happen. I legitimately just wanted to help her reach her goals, wanted to help her get to the next level. So I would have to fall back, push my personal feelings to the backburner if she ever gave me the opportunity to. Though if her not showing up to a Saturday morning group session was any indicator of how she felt, I knew actually getting that opportunity was a longshot.
Af
ter saying goodbye to the last of the class attendees, I made my way back to the office, the place I’d most likely be spending the rest of my day. Running a dance studio was way harder than I expected it to be especially without an administrative assistant to keep the busy work in line. So for now, that was all left up to me. Returning phone calls, responding to inquiries, replying to emails; it was something like a wormhole that I’d find myself lost in day in and day out. And it didn’t exactly help that I lived right above the studio. So even when I did call myself being done with work for the day, it was always only a trip down the stairs away.
As I scrolled through the emails, one in particular stood out. It was from a talent agency in the city - the one that I had signed to years ago before moving on to one a little bigger - looking to scout some new talent for an upcoming tour. Of course the first person that came to mind was Malia, but I didn’t have a way to get in contact with her if she didn’t show her face again anytime soon. A couple of the other dancers at the studio were good and worthy of the opportunity, so I’d be sure to pass it along to them as well. But it felt mandatory for Malia to know and know now so that she could start getting prepared.
I closed my computer and grabbed my keys, locking up the studio on my way out. It was already deep into the afternoon and if I remembered correctly, Malia would be at work. So I made the trek to the restaurant, not even caring that I wasn’t exactly dressed the part.
Once inside, I spotted her immediately, smiling incredibly hard at a guy who was sitting alone. She was probably oblivious, but it was clear to me that he was checkin’ her out, probably trying to run some silly ass game on her. And Malia was friendly, so she would smile, and listen, and laugh at his jokes, and…
B, you are really trippin’.
I sighed as I waited for her to finish talking to the guy. And once she did, I heard a little voice behind me ask, “Are you looking for Malia?”
I turned around and saw an incredibly blonde girl looking a little too excited to have my attention. But I kept things polite as I answered, “Yeah, I am. Well I was. But I see her now.” I looked up just in time to see her disappearing into the back.
Damnit.
“I can… go get her for you. Or get food for you. Or get… whatever you want.”
Definitely a little too excited.
“Uh… I’m good. But thank you… for the offer.”
She tried to serve some version of a sexy smile that was more awkward than anything as she said, “Keep it in mind, handsome. I’m Cassidy by the way.”
I nodded just enough to acknowledge her without being rude before I took off towards Malia who had thankfully emerged from the back.
“Malia! Hey.”
She turned to me with wide eyes before she whisper-yelled, “Blaise, what the hell are you doing here?!”
“I umm... I wanted to share some information with you. All business, I promise. Do you have a minute?”
She shook her head. “No. My next break isn’t for at least another 30 minutes. But if it’s that important, you can wait at the bar.”
“Deal,” I told her as I made my way past her through the rows of tables to the bar, making myself comfortable on one of the stools. I peeked back to where we first talked and she was still standing there, apparently stunned by my presence. And I smiled because… this was Malia. But instead of smiling back, she got back to work while I sat there, nursing a cranberry juice and watching the clock.
Thankfully between conversations with other patrons and the bartender, time flew by until I heard Malia settle in next to me on the stool.
“So what’s up? What’s so important?”
I could tell she was giving me the cold shoulder, so luckily I had come with good news.
“I got some info from an agency looking to sign some new dancers for a tour. They want to use the studio some time in the next couple weeks to set up auditions and…”
“Wow, Blaise! Are you serious?!”
I cracked a smirk at her excitement. “Yeah. I knew you’d be interested, but I wasn’t sure if I’d see you in time. So I… came here.”
She bit her lip, looking down at her hands before she replied, “Thank you. I… appreciate it.”
Since I was on her good side for the moment, I took the opportunity to add, “And I… also wanted to tell you sorry; for the other night. It was incredibly unprofessional of me to go that far and I hope you’ll still wanna work with me. Class wasn’t the same without you this morning.”
She gave me a half-hearted smile, sweeping a stray hair behind her ear as she replied, “I think we should probably… cool it on the personal sessions. At least for a week or two. But I’ll be in class next Saturday for sure.”
“Sounds like an excellent plan. But let me get outta your way so you can enjoy the rest of your break,” I told her as I began to stand up from the bar stool. But I wasn’t even completely upright when I felt her dainty hand against my forearm. My eyes scanned their way from her hand up to her face that was finally twisted into a real smile.
“Wait. Are you hungry? We get a free meal during our break, and I… can’t eat all of those shrimp and sausage skewers alone.”
I smiled myself, immediately recognizing her actions as a peace offering, a way to let me know that everything was actually okay between us. And while I was grateful that it was in the form of bomb ass food, I was even more grateful to have her back on my side.
Malia
I made it to the studio just in time to see Blaise introducing a guest instructor that quite honestly needed no introduction. While Blaise was an incredibly popular, incredibly accomplished dancer, Knox Riley was practically the God of hip-hop dance for our generation. He was the one that every major artist went to first for choreography. He was the one that held workshops internationally for thousands of dancers at a time. Hell, he was the one that had trained Blaise.
To see him in person was a combination of overwhelming and exciting; so much so that I had to calm my thumping heart so that I could actually hear what Blaise was even talking about.
“Since my big bro is gonna be leading class today, I’ll just be hanging out in the back. You know, taking notes and shit,” Blaise said with a goofy little laugh that made everyone else join in. Then he turned the floor over to Knox who smiled brilliantly at Blaise, giving him a pat on the shoulder before sending him on his way.
“Mornin’, ya’ll. Glad ya’ll could make it out. ‘Preciate my brotha from anotha motha Blaise for lettin’ me crash his studio for a lil’ bit. But if ya’ll are ready, let’s get to it.”
All the dancers cheered as we got settled into our usual formation. Naturally I made my way to the front of the line, feeling a little more confident about picking up the choreography this go-round thanks to Blaise’s help. And once I got myself in position, I waited for Knox to do the same, his back facing us so that he could teach while also being able to see us all in the mirror. I assumed his eyes were scanning the group to check and see if we were all ready. But when they landed on me, he winked.
At least I think he winked.
Or maybe he just had something in his eye…
I shook it off - literally - as I listened to him explain how class would go, what songs we would be dancing to, typical itinerary for class stuff. And then he followed that up by asking for a female volunteer. I purposely avoided eye contact, not wanting to fall into the trap of being put on the spot. But just like in school when you try to avoid being called on, that didn’t stop him from saying, “How ‘bout you?”
I peeked up, pointing a finger to my chest so that I could clarify, “Me?”
He nodded with that disgustingly-perfect smile of his before he waved me up to where he was standing in the very front and center. Though he was only a few steps away, I still took my time, not exactly thrilled about getting picked on. But then I was reminded of who he was - Knox Riley, another idol of mine, fine as can be - and that’s when the excitement along with nerves showed back up.
> “What’s ya name, babe?” He asked with that funny little southern accent of his.
“I’m Malia.”
“Ms. Malia, do you think you can keep up with me for a demonstration?”
I bit my lip as I nodded my head yes though my heart was already pounding at the thought. Freestyling was never an issue for me. But trying to keep up with Knox when I could hardly keep up with Blaise was practically a disaster waiting to happen.
“….as long as you look good doing it,” I reminded myself as Knox took off towards the sound system. And while I waited for him to return, I peeked through the mirror at Blaise who was hanging out in the back with… Charlotte?
When the hell did she get here?
And why in the hell is she here?
She actually looked happy for a change as she proudly gave him a kiss on the lips; the same lips that had been all over mine just last week. And as much as I wanted to be angry, to cause a scene, to just… call him out on his bullshit, I couldn’t do any of it because the music was starting.
The song was Oui by Jeremih, a cute little song I had danced to in private a time or two since it wasn’t exactly the hard-hitting songs I usually preferred. But it was… light, and fun, and easy to vibe with.
So when Knox positioned himself behind me once the beat dropped, I didn’t hold back, swaying and gliding and tutting and grinding like he was just a normal dance partner. And before I knew it, I was actually enjoying myself; serving a real smile when he put his arms around my waist and smiled back at me the mirror. Then he took my hand and spun me away from him but just as quickly pulled me back against his rock-solid frame, his face hovering right in front of mine as he cracked another one of his brilliant smiles that was obviously some sort of signature.
I blushed at the same time that the other dancers began to cheer us on while the song faded out. And Knox didn’t make it any easier on me, giving me a little kiss on the cheek that was honestly closer to the corner of my mouth than anything before finally letting me go.
A Rehearsal for Love Page 5