Falling Into the Black

by Caitlin Ricci

  Arin looked absolutely repulsed by that idea as he tilted his head back to look up at me. “I hate that idea. I don’t want to dye my hair.”

  “And I don’t want you on a prison planet.”

  He pursed his lips and looked back at Monroe. “I’ll dye my hair.”

  Monroe shook his head. I could tell we were already wearing on his nerves. “Fine. Then that’s what we’ll do. I’ll go to the market and get some black dye, and Resan, you can be responsible for him. Arin, while you’re here, you’ll work in the kitchen. No exceptions. You’ll be able to hide easier that way when the peacekeepers come back looking for you, and of course they will. No client interaction. At all. How did you get the slave business worked out?”

  “Resan is my master now.” Arin sounded particularly petulant about that.

  Monroe raised his eyebrows at me. “I’d like an explanation.”

  There wasn’t a good one to give him as far as I was concerned. “There was no way to simply free him, and having him free would have meant he would have been captured and sent to a prison planet soon enough anyway. He proved that by running to a beachy paradise planet the second he was able to.”

  “Go dye his hair. If either of you are found out, I’m not taking the fall for any of this.” Monroe shook his head and just sighed.

  “That’s fine.” I pulled Arin back up. “What rooms is he in?”

  Monroe looked between us. “Yours, I guess. Or the one connecting to yours. As long as he’s kept out of sight and there’s no more trouble brought on Asiq, then I don’t really care. I’m getting far too old for this nonsense. Go away, and send Thierry back in.”

  “Of course.” Arin walked ahead of me without having to be pushed. Thierry was there waiting for us across the hall when we came out.

  “Is he in a bad mood now? He sounded grumpy through the door.”

  I shrugged. “Things could be better.”

  Thierry grinned and came forward. “He’ll be fine later. Em is looking for you, when you have a minute.” He looked between Arin and I. “Your lover?”

  Arin rolled his eyes before I could say anything. “Not likely.”

  “Bad history here, I’m afraid. I’m just protecting him,” I explained.

  For some reason Thierry really didn’t look convinced. I didn’t have the time, or the energy, to dwell on that, though. I took Arin to my rooms as Thierry went back in with Monroe. Thankfully my rooms were toward the back of Asiq. Arin would likely be safe there, for a little while at least.

  “Am I in here with you or in the connecting room?” Arin asked me once we were safely in my rooms.

  “You’ll stay here. It’s farther from the front entrance. I’ll be in the other one.” I started to gather my things together. I had a closet full of clothes, but I only took a few outfits as I went to the connecting room. I tossed everything on my new couch and sat down with a weary sigh.

  Arin came to the doorway, and I looked over at him. “You can close the door if you want some privacy. You just need to not be seen. I don’t need to monitor you while you’re in there by yourself.”

  “I figured that. I’m going to rest for a while. It’s been a pretty crazy few days. But I was wondering if I could keep this door open?”

  I wasn’t surprised that he wanted to rest. I was going to lie down for a while too and just breathe after all the running around I’d had to do lately to try to both save him and keep him safe. But I was surprised that he wanted the door open.

  “Don’t you want to be rid of me as much as possible after what we’ve been through together lately?”

  Arin chuckled and leaned back against the doorway. “You’d think so. Wouldn’t you? But no. I kind of like having you around, as strange as it is. Even after everything, you’re still a peacekeeper, and you’ll do your best to protect me if something does happen.”

  “Don’t be so sure about that. You did kill a man. If the other peacekeepers come for you, I won’t stand in their way. I will plead your case, though, and ask them for leniency.”

  He tilted his chin to the side. “By sticking your neck out for me, you could end up being tortured on the same prison planet I’ll be on. I doubt many of the prisoners there have ever seen a Sythe before.”

  He did have a good point there. “I’m only half Sythe, and things will be fine.”

  “You don’t sound so convinced of that.”

  I wasn’t. “If you wanted this to be easy, then you shouldn’t have killed your master.”

  He nodded and looked down at the floor. “I know. But at the same time, though, I’m glad I did. Even if I spend the rest of my life on a prison planet somewhere at the far reaches of the universe, even if the other prisoners rape me and eventually kill me, I’m glad Bowman is gone. Maybe killing him will save a few kids from having to go through what I did. If that’s the case, then everything else will have been worth it.”

  “I didn’t peg you for a martyr.” I hadn’t really thought of him at all before this beyond wondering what his problem with me was. Now I knew, and I wish I’d never bothered to ask him. Things would have been so much simpler if I had just left him alone and never followed my curiosity.

  He shrugged and moved away from the doorway. “See you later.”

  “Careful with the hot water in that room. It can be a bit too much.”

  He gave me a smile before walking back into his new rooms and leaving me alone. I heard him turn the shower on, and then heard him yelp as well a few seconds later. The hot water was definitely an issue in there. I’d mentioned it to Monroe before, but he had more than enough to worry about in a high-end brothel full of aspasians that my request to have that tap looked at was probably extremely low on the list.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Arin

  HAVING A real shower again was a treat, and I stayed under the spray far longer than necessary. There were perks to working for Monroe, and he’d always taken good care of his aspasians. I was sorry to have brought peacekeepers down on him. Everything he did was perfectly legal, but still, it was a hassle he didn’t need. And now he was in on our little secret that I’d killed my old master. I hadn’t wanted to tell him that, but maybe Resan felt that Monroe knowing the full truth would have been the best for everyone. I didn’t agree with him, but it was done now, and it hadn’t been my call to make in the first place. As a peacekeeper, Resan knew the risks, and I had to trust him sometimes. Not all the time, and I knew that being back on Wish was worth the risk of being captured, but I was sure that I needed to start trusting him. I needed to be able to trust someone, and right then he knew better than anyone else what kind of danger I was in.

  After my shower, I changed into the comfortable black pants that we all wore. They were thin, and they hung on my hips. They reminded me that I was an aspasian, not Bowman’s whore. I had rights and choices there in Asiq, something he’d never given me. It was good to be back where I felt most like myself.

  I looked around Resan’s room for a few minutes, hoping to learn something about him, but he was a minimalist even more so than I was, and there was nothing there for me to find.

  It had been good to see the other aspasians again. They would never know what had truly happened. I already planned to tell them that it was a big misunderstanding and that I was not a slave. I couldn’t pretend to have never been one, not with the mark clearly outlined on my neck, but I could claim to not be one now quite easily. I was sure Resan would not give that secret up so easily, as good as the aspasians could be at getting information when they wanted.

  Monroe would have never allowed us to trade in secrets or blackmail our clients, but sometimes it was good to be able to pull secrets out of our clients, especially when they were things they were too ashamed to tell us. I never judged any of them for what they said to me, and I was sure that was the reason I had so many people who simply liked to talk to me for a while. Sometimes they wanted me to be naked, sometimes they were as well, but the one constant with those clients
was that they just all loved to spill their secrets out between us while I listened to everything they had to say.

  Thinking about my clients made me sad that I wouldn’t be working with any of them while I was back here. I planned to talk to Monroe about his decision and see if I couldn’t get him to reconsider. I would stay hidden away, for the most part, but I had not come back to Asiq just to work in the kitchens.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Resan

  IT DIDN’T take Arin long to join me in bed. He was back to wearing the same low-slung black lounge pants that everyone in Asiq wore. So was I. I was catching up on the news on my holoscreen when he came in and silently lay down beside me with his back to me.

  “Careful now, people will really start to question whether or not we’re together if they find out you like sharing my bed.”

  He laughed a little but didn’t turn over to face me. “No chance of that. Everyone in Asiq knows I can’t stand you.”

  That was news to me, and it was far more interesting than what I was currently reading. I put my holoscreen aside. “Really? And why’s that?”

  He rolled over onto his back and looked up at me with his hands crossed over his stomach. “Because you’re arrogant enough to think that nearly everyone in Asiq wants to be with you.”

  I was about to deny it when he continued. “If I had just sucked your dick once or twice, you would have never known I was avoiding you. Because I kept my distance and never came on to you, you then decided that there had to be some big thing going on. You were right, but still, it proves your arrogance.”

  He was right, which didn’t make me feel very good at all.

  “You’re not wrong, by the way. Most of the guys here love fucking you. Made me jealous sometimes to hear them talk about how absolutely wonderful you are in bed. Especially if I’d just been with a client who was less than good.”

  I lay down next to him and put my arms under my head. “We’re screwed. You know that, don’t you? Having black hair isn’t going to fix anything. It might not even matter. The peacekeepers know you killed him. When they can’t find you, then they’ll hire bounty hunters to do it for them. And bounty hunters don’t stop. They can also look for you everywhere. Your best solution would be to be dead right now.”

  He chewed on his lower lip. “If I was, would that make it so that none of them went after you?”

  I wasn’t in too much trouble right now. I’d checked the peacekeeper news channels to make sure of that. “As far as anyone knows, I’m still looking for you. The official story is that I returned you to Bowman, I then bought you from him, you then killed him, and locked me in a room with his body while you were off stealing my ship. I bought a new ship to go after you, and I haven’t been able to find you since.”

  “So if I was dead, things would be okay for everyone. Right?”

  “Sure. But that isn’t an option, so let’s just leave it.” We were wasting time even talking like that.

  But Arin rolled over onto his stomach next to me. We were facing each other now, and I hated how excited he looked. “I have an idea.”

  I didn’t want to hear it if it meant anything close to him dying. “No.”

  “But….”

  I shook my head. “No. Whatever it is, my answer is no. You’re not dying. We’ll figure something out. Somehow.” I knew the situation needed a lot of work, and apparently so did he if he was willing to talk about his death as being a viable option. I wasn’t interested in hearing about it, though.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Resan

  ARIN WAS thankfully quiet after that, and I was sure he’d dropped the subject and could move on to more important matters, like how we were going to keep him safe.

  I learned I was wrong about that, though, as he said, “I miss working here. I wish Monroe hadn’t banned me from being around the clients while we wait for this whole thing to blow over.”

  I sighed and wished I’d closed the door to keep him out of my room if he was going to be like this. “If you want to have sex with someone, I’m sure another aspasian would gladly do you. It’s not as if you’re unattractive.”

  Arin snorted as he tried to keep back his laughter and eventually failed. “Is that really all you think goes on when we take a client back to our room? Just get naked and screw them?”

  “I know there’s more, but if you just wanted someone to talk to, I’m right here.”

  Arin rolled his eyes. “So you thought I missed sex the most?”

  “Yes.” I wasn’t sure how there could be anything else lacking in his life at this point. If he wanted someone to talk to, we were doing that right now.

  He propped his chin up on his fists and looked at the wall ahead of him. “It’s not that. And it’s going to sound stupid, but I miss being hit on. I miss being appreciated. Not just pushed down and my sheets being taken away. Not coming into a room and getting naked like you thought we did. The having a guy look at me and having him smile because he likes what he sees. It’s a nice feeling, and I like it when people find me attractive.”

  “You sound narcissistic,” I mumbled. I picked up my holoscreen again. If he was going to talk nonsense, then I was going to continue checking the news in the sector.

  “So you don’t care if someone likes how you look?”

  That wasn’t it at all. “No, I do. I think nearly everyone probably does. But I don’t thrive on it like you just talked about doing. If it happens, then it happens. That’s the end of it.”

  Arin moved over and laid his cheek against my stomach while I kept reading. It was an intimate gesture, but I ignored him. He was probably just trying to get more comfortable. My nerves flared at having so much of his naked skin against my own, but I shut down that reaction as quickly as I could. I was only half Sythe, so it was easier for me to touch people than those like Corbin and Thierry, who were full-blooded and likely reacted strongly to the sensation of having someone lying on them like Arin was. He wrapped his arm around my hips too, just over the band of my pants, and I did my best to ignore him then as well.

  “Have you ever been attracted to any of us, or are we just stress relief for you after a mission?” Arin asked me.

  “Both, I guess. When I go out, I have to be serious. It’s nice to come back and have fun afterward. But there are those of you I’ve admired and wanted too.”

  “Have I ever been one of them?”

  I put the holoscreen aside to be able to look at him. He turned over on my stomach too, and I saw that he wasn’t smiling anymore. He looked almost vulnerable as he waited for my answer, and I had no idea how much I should tell him.

  “Yes, you were. And you still are sometimes as well. But I’d rather focus on what needs to be done right now, which is finding a solution for us both, rather than doing anything else that could be a distraction.”

  Arin nodded. “I understand. But a little stress relief wouldn’t be a bad idea. Would it?”

  Having sex with Arin would definitely be a bad idea, but I couldn’t stop myself from liking that idea even as I tried to push my desire for him as far back in my mind as it could go.

  “Why the sudden change of heart?”

  “Boredom, and I’m horny. But I’ve also been curious since other people have liked being with you. Might be nice to know what all of the hype is about.”

  Well, at least he was honest. I wanted to tell him to go back into the other room and jack off. I should have done that too. We had far too much going on to be able to spend any time on a distraction that would keep me from thinking and planning our next move. But a little fun wouldn’t be too outrageous either, I reasoned.

  “What did you have in mind?”

  He jumped up to his knees. “You can’t move your hands, though. Whatever I do, you can’t move. You have to keep them above your head.”

  I was absolutely not agreeing to that. “No. You could try to kill me or something.”

  Arin sighed and leaned back on the bed a bit. “Really? You
outweigh me by at least fifty pounds, and you have combat training. All peacekeepers do. I looked it up. I want you not to touch me because of what I just went through. If we do this, it has to be on my terms. It’s been a few days for you so I’m sure that you’re a bit needy right now.”

  I felt like an idiot. Of course he would need some rules in place to be with someone so soon after being put back with Bowman and being subjected to his abuse. “Don’t you have some friend here that you’d rather be with?”

  He shook his head. “They don’t know my secrets. Like it or not, you’re the only person on this planet who knows my history fully. I could use a little closeness right now. If you don’t want to, though, I’m not going to make you or anything like that.”

  “No, I know that you won’t.” I reached for him as I sat up. If we were going to be together, I needed to kiss him first. His lips were a little dry, but I didn’t mind that because his mouth was soft under mine. I took his hand while I was kissing him, and I was careful only to touch him there so that I didn’t move too fast for either of us.

  Having sex was generally easy for me. I did it all the time while I was in Asiq. Here none of my nights were spent alone, and sometimes I had multiple aspasians in my bed. Arin had to have seen that. He had to know what I was normally like while I was there. But he didn’t seem to fault me for it at all as he slipped his tongue between my lips.

  I let go of his hand to touch his cheek, and then his neck. He froze for a heartbeat when I touched him there, so I quickly moved on and ran my fingers down his chest. He placed his hand on the middle of my chest and pushed me down. I went without a fight and pushed my pants off while he was silently getting undressed as well.

  “Are you worried?” I asked him as he joined me back on the bed and knelt over my hips.

  He shook his head, but he still wasn’t meeting my gaze. I couldn’t have that. I tried to reach for him, but he shied away from me, and I remembered his rule about not being able to touch him. I locked my fingers together and put my arms over my head. I wouldn’t touch him.