Book of Life

by Abra Ebner

  I shuffled along for what seemed a mile before another car could be heard approaching from behind. I began to think that if everyone was headed in the same direction as me, perhaps I was going to the right place after all. It wasn’t like there were a plethora of cars leaving. Again, I heard the car slow. I shut my eyes, praying I was just hearing it. Sadly, I wasn’t.

  This time, when I opened my eyes, I was met with a much more appealing sight than the rusty truck of before. A red Audi was rolling beside me, the window slowly falling. A boy, about my maturity, was seated behind the wheel. I pressed my brows together, leaning down to see him more completely though keeping myself hidden under the hood. He had thick glasses, and when he smiled, his teeth seemed large and goofy. He was hardly threatening if not for his fancy car. I was readying myself to ignore him like the last, but he lifted his hand to stop me before I got the chance to look away.

  “I’m not trying to be creepy or anything. It’s just that,” he looked at the sky. “This rain is going to get worse like the creepy man said. I doubt you should be out here.”

  His words seemed out of place, as though he was picking up on the conversation happening within my thoughts.

  He narrowed his gaze as I bravely stepped closer to the car, drawn by curiosity and a means to make him go away. I pushed the hood back away from my eyes. His eyes grazed over my face, followed by a confused and admittedly shocked look, though he tried to hide it. I was intrigued. He’d noticed something about me he hadn’t before, or so it seemed. Still, my mind screamed for him to leave me alone.

  “I’m not going to hurt you, so calm down.” His words were detached and distant as he continued to gawk at me.

  I myself was a little taken aback all of a sudden. His words were like a reply to a blow-off I’d already offered, though it had only been a thought on my mind. I bit my lip, sensing something different about this boy. I don’t know how I sensed it so fast, or why, but it felt familiar, just as his reaction to me seemed to be one of familiarity as well. Scanning his face, small things stood out as though I really did know this boy—perhaps from the previous life I couldn’t remember.

  He tilted his head. “Do I know you?” He was offering me the same question my mind was already thinking.

  I shrugged timidly.

  He leaned across the car, his leather seats squeaking as he leaned his weight on the center console. “That’s crazy, you look a lot like someone I used to know but . . .” his voice trailed, looking me directly in the center of my forehead as though there was something there to see.

  That’s when I got the sense that I was not alone within my thoughts, and I quickly tried to clear my mind. For some reason, this felt like an instinctual thing to do, like I’d done it before, or at the very least knew how, but with little success.

  “Wait . . .” He leaned back. “You’re different, aren’t you?”

  I crinkled my brow, still trying to shove away thoughts. There were a lot of things I didn’t know, like why I was here and who I was beyond a name, but I was aware of the fact that I was not the only one of my kind in the world. I couldn’t be, but what was out there was a mystery to me, too. Thinking this boy was reading my thoughts didn’t seem very farfetched when I knew I could turn into an owl at the drop of a dime. But why me? Why today? And why was he looking at me that way?

  “You’re right. You’re not the only one,” he blurted.

  What? My mind demanded, feeling flustered. How was it he could read my thoughts? How was it he could even make sense of it? I turned away from the car and began walking, arms crossed against my chest as the wind picked up. I was done with this whole day.

  After a moment the Audi crept forward. “I’m Jake,” he offered, trying to reconcile as he drove at my pace. “I get that you can’t talk. You’re a bit out of sorts but . . . I can help you.”

  I refused to look at him or stop. I hoped if I kept this up he’d eventually leave, just like the creepy man in the truck.

  He didn’t. “Seriously, though. You’re sure you’ve never seen me before? You don’t know me?”

  I glanced sideways at him and shook my head sharply.

  “You’re right. Your eyes are all wrong,” he muttered, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. “Do you want a ride?”

  My gut lurched, no!

  He laughed.

  I stopped anyway. I didn’t know why. The gravel of the shoulder ceased crunching under the heel of my oversized hunting boots. If I looked like someone he used to know, then perhaps he could connect me with this person I was supposed to meet. Should I take the risk and ride with him, or not? Where was he going?

  “Winter Wood,” he answered swiftly.

  My golden eyes stopped searching the ground before me. Something about that place felt right.

  He pointed ahead of him. “Pretty much where you were headed, once you get past Glenwood Springs, that is,” he answered sarcastically. “Do you even know where you are?”

  I didn’t offer him a gesture to answer this, but I can’t say my thoughts didn’t do that for me.

  “No. You don’t.” He sighed long and hard. “Of course you don’t.” He perked up. “Listen, I’m not going to hurt you, and I know you don’t trust me, but I can’t let you walk there alone, not when you look like Jane—not when that seems like an eerie coincidence.”

  Jane? Finally, some hint of who I was, or at the very least, who I was before.

  He stared at me. “Does that sound familiar to you?”

  I tried to think, but nothing came to mind, despite the fact that my whole body tingled when I heard the name.

  His lips pressed together in thought. “Alright, well, I know you’re a shifter, that wasn’t hard to sense. I just can’t figure why the Hell you look like Jane.”

  If I was someone he used to know, wouldn’t he be more surprised? He was so calm, so cool about this whole thing, cool in a way a murderer could be. A far off sound made me turn and look over my shoulder. Another car crested the hill, headed our way.

  “Are you getting in or not?” he pressed.

  I didn’t have much time to make up my mind, so my body made it up for me. I got in the car. Once inside, I began to immediately regret my decision.

  “Just calm down,” Jake reminded, shifting the car into gear as we quickly got up to speed. “You’re going to want to meet the people I’m taking you to.”

  I was comforted by the way he said this, like they were long lost friends or perhaps the answer to all my questions.

  “They could be,” he offered.

  I eyed him, a judgmental look that I hoped expressed my discomfort towards this entire situation.

  He just laughed, coaxing the car up to speed. “So, what’s your name?”

  My mind immediately spelled out the name Stella before I could prevent it.

  He about choked. “What’s your name?”

  My mind thought it again.

  He began shaking his head. “This is too weird.”

  I shifted uncomfortably in the seat. From all I could recollect, I’d never been in a car before. In my small seat I tried all I could to escape his gaze, but it was useless. The way he was looking at me, like a science experiment, was beginning to make me wish I knew what had happened in my past. What if there had been a history between us? Why wasn’t he paying better attention to the road?

  He didn’t answer any of my questions, instead sticking to idle chit chat. “And you’re a shifter? And you shift into an owl?”

  I nodded firmly. Being coy wasn’t going to work with this guy. I wished again he could just inform me of who Jane was, and why I looked like her.

  Thankfully, this time he obliged. “About two weeks ago a friend of mine was murdered, her name was Jane and she looks just like you. That same night another friend of mine lost her owl, at the same place and time. The owl’s name was Stella. Sound familiar?”

  I shook my head, but inside I was teeming. I’d awoken on a rock, naked and lost, the only thought on m
y mind a name—Stella. It was as though I had been dropped there by the very heavens, left to flounder in an unknown world.

  “But how? I know for a fact that Jane’s body is still safe at the priory, so it’s not like you’ve run off with her body. You’re not aware of ever having a twin sister are you?”

  I wrinkled my brow, instead focusing on his first statement. Priory? What was that?

  He shook a hand at me. “That’s not very important, what’s important is how and why you are here. I need Max to define this. I have no idea how this could have happened.”

  I was growing annoyed with the vagueness of his talking. He may be able to read my thoughts, but that didn’t mean I could read his. How what happened? What do you think happened? And how did he know I was even this person he’s thinking I am? I didn’t even really understand who or what I was, beyond the term he’d called me—shifter.”

  He looked directly at me, forgetting the road. “Exactly. You’re a shifter. All too much of a coincidence for me.”

  His answer made no sense though he continued to stare. I eyed the road ahead, trying to express my desire for him to watch where we were going but we stayed perfectly on the road. I guess he didn’t need to see. Another reason to feel uncomfortable with this decision to get into his car, but I had to trust my gut. I had to. What was he?

  He finally looked back at the road. “It’s far too complicated to explain what I am. You’ll figure it out eventually.”

  I crossed my hands over my chest, hating Jake more and more with each moment that passed. I never should have gotten in his car, but then again, perhaps he was taking me to the him I needed to find. This was the only thing that made this whole situation seem sane.

  “Who’s him?” he prodded.

  This time I didn’t even bother to answer, and being that even I didn’t know who this man was myself, my mind couldn’t answer for me.

  MAX:

  I left the sanctuary with Srixon, weaving through the rooted room. Deep below the heart of the priory, it was hard to imagine that this was where we had been the whole time. My mind was taxed with all the things Gen had told me, so much so that Srixon and I remained silent until we reached the stairway.

  Srixon shut the door behind us before talking. “I’m sorry, Max. I’m sorry for the mistakes I’ve made. I don’t think I can say that enough.”

  His apologies were irrelevant at this point. All that mattered now was the task ahead. “I appreciate it, but I don’t want to hear it, Srixon.”

  Srixon was beside me as we climbed the stairs. His gaze fell sheepishly.

  I felt a small bit of remorse for my coldness. I used to treat Srixon with more respect. “I’m not angry anymore. I see that it’s a waste of time. What I need to know now is how to change Avery’s mind and bring her back to the light.” I tried to focus our conversation away from personal matters. “It just seems like an impossible task.”

  Srixon seemed to slough off his self loathing in exchange for a more active enthusiasm to rectify the situation. “I’ve heard of it happening before.”

  I shook my head, attention perking. “It has? Why don’t I know about this?”

  He tilted his head. “It was a very long time ago, long before you, and even me. Some believe it’s not true at all. I myself have never had the pleasure of meeting this pixie myself, though I have long wanted to.” He seemed to smile. “But perhaps if you were to seek her out, you’d be able to figure out how she got her light back from the man that took it.”

  “Do you know where I can find her?”

  Srixon nodded. “She was a part of the Eastern priory in Tibet, the temple hidden far in the mountains. I believe she still resides there. I can’t imagine she could be anywhere else.”

  “Then that is my next move.” I ended the conversation there.

  We walked the rest of the way in silence. I left Srixon at the altar with a bow before leaving the great hall. Outside, snow began to fall from the sky. I thought back to the day I first found out about Jane. It was a day not unlike today, though Avery had been the woman in my life at the time. I walked down the path to the large stone gate where a male Element pixie let me out. His seasons were already changing from fall to winter. It had been a short fall, but it typically was here in the mountains of Colorado. It was the middle of November, December just around the corner.

  Christmas had always been a favorite holiday of mine. I smiled to myself then, the first true smile I’d felt in some time. Jane was on my mind, more specifically Jane celebrating the holiday with me. I wanted nothing more than to have her back by then, and this was my goal. Less than six weeks was all the time I had. In my head I began to make a schedule. I allowed three weeks to the task of pulling Avery out of the shadows, and another two to finding Jane.

  Before I left the priory grounds all together, I had one last stop to make. Outside the sanctuary gate I turned left toward the priory memorial grounds. It was a three block walk past the priory capital buildings and up a gently winding road. The memorial grounds had been built facing the city below. It was monotonous walking there when I could easily fly, but the walk was a needed refuge for my mind to think and reflect on the impossible prophecy before me.

  Snowflakes began to build on the sleeves of my wool coat. I kept my eyes on my black shoes, watching as snowflakes hit the cobbled street, melting immediately into the stones. I don’t know why I did this to myself when I could just as easily see Jane in the In-between, even if I couldn’t touch her. Perhaps that was the reason. Visiting her body allowed me the chance to see her as I did before, touch her skin if just for a moment, and pretend she was still here.

  I arrived at the memorial grounds and another Element pixie waved me through the gate. One of his eyes was silver, the other still a fall-like amber. I approached the main pergola where Jane’s body lay among a handful of others in her same state. priory alchemists had given her a vampire potion which kept the shell of her body in suspended animation. She was placed on a carved stone pedestal among the others. Under the pergola, she was protected from the snow and rain but still exposed to the nature that surrounded her. Under the eaves, guards stood as still as the bodies they watched.

  Typically, such attention was only reserved for the royal and prominent members of the priory. It was a preservation process they chose much like the Egyptians of long ago. In fact, that was where the practice was first derived. Many believed that if their earthy body could be saved, these great leaders would one day find a way to return to a life left too soon.

  I arrived at Jane’s side, watching her as though she was sleeping—I wished that were the case. A part of me expected to see her wake as I’d seen her do a hundred times before. I brushed a piece of hair from her face which had been misplaced by the wind. Keeping her body in the cold weather helped the potion work. During summer months, the pergola would be enclosed in a permanent winter the Element pixie’s would provide.

  I wanted so badly to kiss her, but it was not allowed. Even the touch I laid upon her skin was frowned upon. Already I sensed the added level of awareness amongst the guards around me, each appearing to stand a little bit taller, ready to intervene should I try to touch her again.

  She looked so cold, her face scratched from the rocks where she fell. They were wounds that would never heal unless her soul and life was returned to her body. Luckily for me, Her soul lingered along the shoreline in the Ever After where I could visit her, but her life . . . who knows where that had gone by now. Finding it would seem an impossible task.

  I stopped myself, hearing Gen’s voice in my head. She had warned me not to waste too much time on Jane. It shouldn’t be my focus at the moment. I allowed myself another minute to bask in the idea of Jane before I turned my back on her and left the pergola. I had soaked up enough memory and love to last me the three weeks I needed to convert Avery. I held this love in my nearly dead heart like an ember waiting to burst into flame. I could use this as a tool if I needed. That brought me comfort a
nd just enough drive to move forward.

  EMILY:

  I’d locked myself in the bathroom the next morning, urging myself to make the necessary steps to get ready for school. I had been allowed to skip the last two weeks for understandable reasons. I had to admit it felt good to leave that place behind for a while, but there was no way Mother would let me get out of it forever. I feared what memories going back would resurface. Would I be able to handle it without the means I used before?

  I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Every other thought I had, aside from going back to school, involved Jane. Small memories, like the way she’d bug me to hurry up in the morning, bringing me a glass of orange juice before school. I had to remember she wasn’t going to do that. I had to be responsible, but as hard as I tried, I didn’t want to be.

  I yanked open all the drawers before me, makeup shifting and rolling inside. I wasn’t sure just what I was looking for, but a black thought dominated my mind. As though I’d hoped for it, a familiar rattle came from the drawer to my left, tickling my curiosity. My hands dropped from the drawer handles, delving inside to shift the contents about, searching out the source of the familiar rattle. This particular drawer was cluttered with forgotten items. My anxious hands summoned forth things I hadn’t seen in years until—there it was. I stared at it as it sat there staring back at me. It seemed so simple but yet loaded with danger, bad memories, and an Emily I had hoped to put behind me. My hand reached for the orange prescription bottle though my mind screamed to leave it alone.

  But what did it matter?

  If it was such a horrid thing to have, wouldn’t Max have already found it? He’d scoured every other inch of my room but had somehow overlooked this drawer. There had to be a reason for it—fate. My fingers grasped at the bottle and I shook it in my hand. A few small items rattled inside, shadowed behind the opaque plastic. I compressed the lid and twisted it open with my palm, peering inside. For a few brief moments I had forgotten about time altogether, so drawn by this object that Jane’s death had left my mind. Realizing this, I found it felt good and I wanted that feeling to continue.