A Holiday To Remember

by Jillian Hart

  Debra watched, riveted by this man. “Mom would have loved being here, meeting her son, his family and his friends. She would have loved this town.”

  “There’s a lot to love about it.” Jonah didn’t meet her gaze as they walked along. “It’s the reason I always come back.”

  “You’ve lived in other places?” she found herself asking. Hadn’t she decided not to ask questions about this man?

  “I’ve been around. I joined the marines for a few hitches. The greater good and all that.” His voice sounded light and dark all at once, but if that made him sad, he didn’t let it show. “But the old adage is true. There’s no place like home.”

  The marines. It didn’t come as a big surprise. His being like a soldier had been her first impression of him. She wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d said he was Special Forces. He kept to the outside edge of the sidewalk protectively and it was an old-fashioned thing to do, gentlemanly.

  Wasn’t she going to stop noticing all of Jonah’s fine attributes? She wasn’t the kind of woman who looked twice at men. And yet her gaze kept finding him in the half-shadows.

  Mia chimed in. “That’s what I keep telling my mom. The Stanton School is not home and I don’t want it to be.”

  Here we go again. Debra wasn’t sure what to do with her daughter’s stubborn streak. Once she decided something, she was like a speeding train on a track. “It’s a big adjustment to get used to living away from home. You have to give it time, Mia.”

  “Wait one minute. Why the new bedroom set?” Jonah sounded surprised. “I thought you’d be using it.”

  “Only when I’m home for a school break.” Mia sighed, greatly burdened, but beneath the bit of dramatics, there lurked an honest note of sorrow. “Mom and me are hardly together at all because I’m away from home. And now that Grandmother Millie’s gone, it’s like I’m a-loone.”

  She’d never heard Mia say it quite that way before, and it made her heart ache. “I get lonely for you, too, kid.”

  “I know.” Mia didn’t seem to doubt that. “I’m all miserable and stuff, but, hey, I gotta go because it’s tradition and it’s sooo important.”

  Why hadn’t she ever heard the pain beneath her daughter’s sarcasm before this? It was Jonah. It was as if her inner defenses went down when he was near. With the shields around her heart nonoperational, she felt her daughter’s loneliness as sorely as her own. “We’ll talk about this later, Mia. This isn’t the time.”

  “But—”

  “Tradition is important.” Jonah spoke up. “I bet that’s an awful nice school you get to go to. Not everyone gets an educational opportunity like that.”

  “I guess.” Mia was polite about it, but she clearly didn’t agree. “I just don’t like going away to school.”

  “There are worse things in this world.”

  Although he’d said the words simply, why did she feel the weight of his grief in them? It was Jonah. Being near to him made her vulnerable and oddly open at heart.

  To make matters worse, Debra couldn’t help admiring the way Jonah was the first to step into the sidewalk, protectively checking traffic before she and Mia followed a half a step behind. It was a small thing, but a nice thing to do and it just went to show what a gentleman Jonah Fraser truly was.

  Wasn’t she going to stop noticing all of Jonah’s fine attributes? It only proved how overworked and overstressed she was. She breathed in the fresh crisp air, felt the caress of snow against her face and smiled at the family who had stepped out of line to greet them.

  Debra wished she’d worn earmuffs when Mia and Olivia ran toward each other with a few shrieks and giggles and joined hands, talking excitedly.

  “I’m so glad for the girls.” Leah, with the baby cradled against her, smiled in that kind, lovely way of hers. “Look at the two of them. They’re like long-lost friends.”

  “It’s wonderful,” Debra agreed, aware of Jonah as he and Ben exchanged pleasantries. “It’s just what Mia needed.”

  “Olivia, too. I hope you and Mia can spend a lot more time with us before you have to head home.” Leah paused as the infant stirred. “I was hoping you might want to spend tomorrow afternoon with us. Maybe stay for dinner?”

  “We would love to.” Debra truly meant that. She heard Jonah’s low rolling chuckle, and it was a warm cozy sound that seemed to chase the chill out of the wintry night. Since she wasn’t noticing Jonah Fraser at all, in the slightest, Debra kept her back turned to him and leaned to get a glimpse of the baby as he stretched and yawned. “He’s adorable. You are so lucky.”

  “I’m greatly blessed and I know it.” Leah’s contented sigh said everything. “Two years ago I was alone and now look. I have my daughter back and my wonderful Ben. Joseph came along to add even more happiness. Now I have a new sister and niece and the rest of your family we have yet to meet. God is gracious, indeed.”

  “That’s what my mother would always say.”

  “I know I would have liked her.”

  “She would have liked you right back.” Time was making the sorrow easier, but now and then it came fresh in waves. So many emotions tugged at her from different directions. The issues with Mia. Her unusual reaction to Jonah. Ben, and all the lies her mother had told her. And now this, seeing her little nephew, so sweet and dear, and wanting—Oh, everything she could not have. “You need to come to Baltimore and meet everyone there. I was hoping you could come stay for New Year’s.”

  “I’d like that. I’d have to talk it over with Ben.”

  “I understand. I have a big house with room for everyone. You would be welcome to stay. We don’t do much for New Year’s Eve, but we always have a feast on the first. We would love to have you come visit.”

  The baby chose that moment to let out a whimper. Leah snuggled him and, pleased with the attention, he blew a bubble and grinned. Ben settled his hand on Leah’s shoulder and gazed down at their son. “Want me to take over?”

  “I think he’s missing his daddy.”

  “Good thing. I was missing him, too.” As Ben lifted his son from his wife’s arms, Olivia skipped up to him with Mia at her side.

  “Dad, they’re giving out huge bags of candy this year. Did you see them? Can we hurry, please?”

  “Sure thing, peanut,” Ben said tenderly.

  There was no mistaking Ben’s deep love for his wife as their gazes locked. Dusted with snow and the glow from the Christmas lights, they looked picture perfect. He took Leah’s hand in his and they headed off together.

  Clearly, her big brother and his wife had something beyond a good match. True love.

  Good for them.

  Debra’s heart sighed, just a little. She wished real love was a little easier to find. So far, true love had been elusive for her. Deep down, she was afraid she would never find it. Deep down, she was afraid to admit she had never given up hope that she might.

  Footsteps crunched in the snow behind her. Jonah. “They make it look easy, don’t they?”

  She tried to hide her wistfulness, but she could hear it in her voice. “Yes, they do.”

  Jonah lifted his gaze to hers, and the background murmur of conversations and falling snow faded into nothing. For one brief moment, there was only Jonah. Only his smile, his nearness. Only the wish in his dark eyes.

  Sweet, innocent longing trickled to life within her. She could not stop it. She could not will it away. She tore her gaze from his but it remained, another vulnerability in her heart.

  She walked with Jonah, following the others. What a lovely night. At Jonah’s side, Debra seemed to notice everything she’d always been too busy to see. The resonating melody and harmony of a group of carolers. The scent of wood smoke in the winter evening. The whisper of the snow falling everywhere, as abundant as grace.

  Yes, it was a beautiful night.

  The ballroom was far too fancy for Jonah’s comfort, but as a carpenter and a woodworker, he admired the workmanship of the inlaid marble floor, the hand-worked cherry
moldings and the coved ceiling. Children and families milled about. There were refreshment tables set up with plates of cookies and cups of hot chocolate. He knew practically every person in the room—it looked like most of his father’s congregation had come, but did he notice a single familiar face?

  No. All he could see was the lovely Debra Watson at his side.

  “What a nice tradition this is,” she said to him in her cool, gentle alto. “Handmade ornaments?”

  “What, you don’t think they go with the Italian marble?”

  “Absolutely. Are they made by the town’s children?”

  Enchanting. As sweet as a storybook heroine. That’s how she looked with the snow melting into diamond glitters in her soft sleek fall of hair. Jonah cleared his throat, trying to keep his poor befuddled mind on their conversation. “The local kids made the ornaments. It’s a tradition.”

  “I’m hearing that word a lot lately.” She swept at the mantle of snow melting on her fashionable coat as if shy.

  Or uncomfortable. He wondered what a classy lady like her might think of a regular guy like him. “I could mosey along if you have people to see. Or I could…stay.”

  That was a tough word to get out. He swallowed hard, but that didn’t stop his pulse from stalling completely. He hadn’t realized until that moment how much he’d wanted to see her tonight.

  “Stay.”

  Her single word made him smile inside. “Sure. You don’t like being alone in a strange crowd, is that it?”

  “Something like that.” Kindness warmed her up and for a moment her proper, polite demeanor slipped away. She looked so young to have accomplished so much—young and good-hearted. She folded a chestnut lock of hair behind her ear, somehow a self-conscious gesture. “Mia has abandoned me for her cousin.”

  “You sound pretty happy about that.”

  “Ecstatic. It’s good to see her so happy.” Like a cloud before the sun, Debra’s warmth faded. She bit her bottom lip, worrying it. “We’ve had such a rough time between the two of us lately.”

  “How long has your mother been gone?”

  “A few years. Recent enough that it still hurts. I was finally truly starting to deal with her loss and realizing that we’d never be able to resolve the rift between us. Then Ben came along and the past is hurting all over again.”

  He could see it wasn’t petty emotion or blame that made the woman at his side seem so sad. “I’m sorry for that. You and Mia seem so tight, I’m surprised you didn’t have the same relationship with your mother.”

  “It’s what I wanted, but Mom was strict. A tough disciplinarian. She had so many wonderful qualities, but I was the oldest and I got the brunt of her discipline. Every little thing had to be right. I loved her. I wanted to please her so much.” Debra winced, as if she were trying to hold back those painful memories. She turned to keep her eye on Mia, standing in line with her cousin in front of the unlit Christmas tree. “I didn’t want my baby to grow up the way I did. It’s tough enough for Mia to follow in the family’s footsteps. The Cunning-hams and Watsons have a lot of expectations for their offspring.”

  “You’re talking about that fancy school she goes to?”

  A single nod. “I know how hard it is for her. It’s what I had to do, too. It’s painful trying to wedge yourself into a mold that will never quite fit. But it’s not only family tradition, but also what my mom wanted.” She folded her arms in front of her chest, as if shielding her heart. “Thank you for what you said before, about how having an education like that is a privilege. She’s so gifted. I’d even go as far to say she’s blessed. Mia is exceptionally bright. She’s reading at a college level and has been for years. She’s the top of her class. She’s gifted in music and athletics, too.”

  “And her personality.” Jonah had to agree. “She’s like the sun shining.”

  “Even in winter. You were right about something else, too. She makes everything worth it.”

  Nothing but pure love in her voice. Jonah’s heart skipped a beat at the sound of it. He found Mia and Olivia in the crowd, side by side, hand in hand, chattering away to one another excitedly. Both lived happy, safe and comfortable lives with opportunity and loving parents watching over them. He squeezed out the memory of some places in the world he’d seen, where children were not so fortunate.

  He didn’t know if it was his place, because Debra Watson was clearly a good mother and materially successful. He said what he thought anyway. “It’s nice to have comforts and the opportunity of a quality education. But don’t forget that to Mia, you’re a blessing, too.”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that.” Debra shrugged one slim shoulder, looking forlorn and uncertain. Tears pooled in her eyes but did not fall. “I hope I’m doing the right thing for her.”

  “Love is always the right thing. Look how happy she is.” Jonah took a step toward the line of children where Ben and Leah were keeping an eye on the girls. “C’mon. Let’s join them. I bet I can charm a piece of candy out of Santa Claus, if you want me to.”

  “Are you friends with Santa, too?”

  “You bet. I designed new toy shelves for him when he remodeled.”

  “Next thing you’ll tell me is that you leap tall buildings in a single bound.”

  “Sorry to disappoint you.” Jonah tried not to let her compliment bother him. The wound he carried in his soul ached, the wound that no one in his hometown knew had not healed. He knew it never would, unlike the injury to his leg, which had been very severe. He’d almost lost it. He cleared the emotion from his throat. “I can probably get you a cup of hot chocolate.”

  “That’s music to my ears. A steaming cup of cocoa is my favorite thing.”

  “Mine, too.” How about that? Jonah grinned to himself as he led the way the short distance to the refreshment tables. “I bet you like the fancy upscale kind with flavors like raspberry chocolate.”

  “Sure, I’m guilty of loving raspberry chocolate, but there’s nothing like plain old chocolate with marshmallows. Add a little trickle of chocolate sauce on top and it’s heavenly.”

  “It seems like you and I have a lot in common, I—” Jonah heard someone calling his name, as if from a far distance. He’d been caught up talking with Debra that he hadn’t noticed his little sister behind the table, adding whipped cream to the foam cups of cocoa. That couldn’t be a good sign.

  “Jonah,” Dinah gently scolded him, “are you paying attention, brother dear? Who is this?”

  Good question. Jonah knew however he answered that question, there was no getting around the fact that he recognized the look of interest on his sister’s face. She was going to read something into this that simply wasn’t there. Something that could never be.

  He cleared his throat again, which ought to have been a sign to him right then and there, and did his best to sound unaffected, indifferent and unyielding. “Debra Watson, I’m sorry you have to meet my younger sister, Dinah.”

  “Sorry, huh?” Dinah’s bright blue eyes lit up with amusement. “Hi, Debra. It’s nice to meet you. You’re Ben’s half sister, right?”

  “Right. How lovely to meet you, Dinah.” Debra smiled cordially as she accepted a cup of cocoa.

  Poor Debra, Jonah thought. He wasn’t sure how to protect her from his sister’s curiosity—a family trait, or so it was turning out. Everyone in his family kept thinking it was a bad thing he was alone. There was nothing wrong with being a bachelor, but they simply did not agree.

  He could see that look on Dinah’s face now as she turned her attention on Debra. “Chestnut Grove is nothing like Baltimore, but it looks as if you’re enjoying your stay.”

  “Yes, my daughter and I are having a wonderful time. She is particularly charmed by the town.”

  “Daughter? Oh, tell me about her.” Dinah immediately topped another cup of hot chocolate with a generous swirl of whipped cream.

  “Mia’s thirteen. A very interesting challenge.”

  “Oh, I was a wild child at that age. I
know, I’m a minister’s daughter, but I guess I had to rebel. I’m over it now.” She laughed at herself and offered the second cup. “For your daughter.”

  “Thanks.” Debra took the cup. The diamonds sparkling on Dinah’s left ring finger were hard to miss. “That’s a lovely engagement ring.”

  “My Alex is spoiling me already.” Dinah radiated happiness. “I’m so excited. We’ve just set the date.

  “Oh, how wonderful. When are you getting married?”

  “Next June. Alex is in the Santa Claus line with the kids. Do you see him? In the blue sweatshirt? I’m helping Alex take care of his cousin’s children while she is undergoing cancer treatment.”

  Jonah shuffled close to accept his cup of hot chocolate. “How’s she doing?”

  “Better than expected. Isn’t that wonderful? We have been praying so hard for her.” Dinah projected that calm inner peace that seemed to come with deep faith. “Karla is doing so well that it looks like she’s coming to visit for Christmas. Isn’t that great? It’s a real miracle. Her husband, Frank, has been granted leave from the military to come home for the holidays, too, and the kids, Brandon and Chelsea, are so excited.”

  “Wonderful.” Debra swallowed hard and there was no mistaking the pain on her face. “I hope she recovers completely.”

  “If God’s willing.” Dinah took an appraising look at her brother.

  Uh-oh. Jonah took a step back, but he was afraid it was too late. He loved that his little sis was happy, but she probably was thinking, as Ben did, that there was a particular brand of happiness he ought to try—marriage. They didn’t understand.

  Time to change the direction of his sister’s train of thought. “We’d best deliver the hot chocolate. Hand me over another cup, will you? For Olivia.”

  “Oh, she’s such a sweetie. You should hear her sing.” Dinah was happy to accommodate his request, mounding whipped cream like a mountain on top of the chocolate. “Debra, you should stay in town long enough to attend the Christmas pageant. We may be a little town, but we know how to do Christmas right.”