by Kelsie Rae
That is, until Liv showed up right after Christmas break last year. Ever since then, our friendship has been…strained.
I’m not an idiot. I know how much he regrets that day in school when we both saw her for the first time. I know that he’d give anything to have been the one to approach her and––months later––ask her out. I know that it eats him up inside every time he sees me and Liv together. He had his chance, but I took the opportunity to claim her instead.
I have to give Luke credit, though. He’s always been respectful, accepting the fact that I got to her first. That we love each other. That what we have is real.
Even if my mom fights it at every turn.
She’s been trying to sabotage my relationship with Liv since day one, insisting we hang out at Luke’s house, because she can’t stand the thought of us together. Part of me wonders if she’s trying to push Luke and Liv together. Then I remember how competitive my mom is. If I’m not the one to end my relationship with Liv, there’s no way my mom would want Liv to do the honors. I mean...What would the neighbors think? The local charity case leaving Susan’s precious baby boy for his best friend?
The horror!
Which is ironic considering how hard she’s trying to break us apart. But only if it’s on my terms. She’s even threatening to take away my inheritance if I don’t break up with Liv before leaving for college.
I need to make my decision by tomorrow, and the thought sits in my stomach like bad Chinese food.
Liv knows about the predicament, but she doesn’t really know. She doesn’t know that if I forfeit my inheritance, I can’t afford to attend the university I was planning on. Sure, I’ve got a few back-ups lined up, but they’re much less prestigious, which could affect my overall career in the long run.
It’s a big freaking deal.
At first, I thought my mom wouldn’t follow through with her threats. I’m her only child. How could she do something like that to me and live with herself? But I got my stubbornness from her, so I’m pretty sure she isn’t going to budge.
She’s convinced I’m throwing my life away by staying with Liv and hasn’t even given her the opportunity to prove herself. My mom refuses to see how incredible my girl is, and it’s slowly taking its toll on my relationship with both of them.
“Fine,” I snap, feeling guilty as soon as the harsh word slips past my lips.
Liv looks up at me with her brows forming a tiny ‘v’ between them.
“What’s wrong?” she probes, but I shrug off her touch.
“Do you want Luke to pick you up?” It might be a question, but my voice holds an edge while putting her on the spot.
She pauses, confused as hell about why I’m yelling at her. “Umm...I don’t care? I mean, it kind of makes sense, because you’re not free tonight, and Luke and I have to pick up our project from the auditorium, but I’d love to spend a few more minutes with you if I can. Do you have time?”
My mom scoffs. I ignore her.
Liv is so damn sweet. Her innocence melts away any lingering frustration with a simple phrase voiced as a question.
Slowly, I lean forward and press my lips against hers, nearly groaning as soon as our mouths connect.
She’s my everything.
I wish I could keep her, have my mom’s unwavering support, and keep my dad’s inheritance all at once. I’ve been wracking my brain constantly, in hopes of finding a solution. The problem is...I come up empty every time. And seeing Liv and Luke together isn’t helping my decision-making process.
He acts like her freaking knight in shining armor. And it’s killing me, making me question whether I’m enough for her or not.
I’m never enough.
“Adam,” Liv states, grabbing my attention with her soft tone. “Will you please take me to the school, so that I can spend a few more minutes with you?” She peeks up at me through her thick lashes, and my heart squeezes in response.
My mom is still standing in the room with her jaw practically hanging off its hinges. I lean forward and give Liv another gentle kiss, letting her unique flavor explode across my tongue as I sneak my tongue between her lips for a taste.
My mom likes to remind me that I’ve only ever been with Liv. Yes, she knows my sexual history. Not the details, but she’s not an idiot and can do the math. She knows that I’ve only kissed a handful of girls before Liv too. What bothers me, however, is that she insists I deserve to sow my wild oats during college and to leave high school behind me.
Yes, my own mother is encouraging me to sleep around and be a manwhore.
Sometimes though, I wonder what it would be like to do that. To be with someone other than Liv. As much as I hate to admit it, my mom makes me question whether or not it’s smart to settle down with someone when I’m still so young.
I’m only eighteen.
A part of me understands where she’s coming from. I kind of get her argument. Being with the same girl for the rest of my life? Never knowing what it’s like to have a one-night stand? Or even to break up with someone?
I haven’t experienced any of it, and it makes me wonder if I’ve really lived or not.
But then I look down at Liv, with her blue-gray eyes shining back up at me, and everything else fades away. My mom’s acid words. My pathetic bank account screaming for a safety net. And Luke’s gaze as he watches Liv from a distance, patiently waiting for the opportunity to swoop in on his white horse and get the girl.
My girl.
I tuck Liv’s long, blonde hair behind her ear, letting my fingertips trace her sensitive skin, and she shivers in response. I chuckle softly.
“Alright, Liv. Let’s get you to the school.”
She grins up at me, and her nose scrunches up in the most adorable way possible. “I like your thinkin’.”
Chapter 3
Luke
Me: Are you guys coming? Mrs. Perkins doesn’t want to keep the school open forever.
Liv: Yeah. We’re on our way. Sorry. Susan had a little meltdown again. Adam’s really tense.
My chest tightens anytime she mentions him. You’d think I’d be more used to it by now. It’s been over a year, but it still hurts.
Every. Damn. Time.
Me: No worries. See you soon.
Liv: <3
I stare at the heart emoji she sends for a beat too long before sliding my cell into the back pocket of my worn jeans and ignoring the way a simple message from her can make my heart race.
My jaw clenches in frustration. Not at her. At myself.
I need to get out of here. I need to go to college. I need to get away from them. I’m not sure if I’ll make it through another summer of Liv in a tiny bikini, with my best friend beside her for another two long months, before I finally get the chance to escape. To move on.
Being this close to her––to them––has made it damn near impossible.
Sure. I date. I get laid. I have little flings with other girls. But nothing has been able to lessen the ache that only Liv can soothe. Yet...she has no idea.
And what kills me most is the way her gaze lingers when I’m around. The way she sees me with other girls, but she doesn’t ever say anything. The way she encourages me to bring someone to the movies with us, so that I’m not the third wheel with her and my best friend. The way she wrapped a set of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle sheets for my birthday, with a note saying they would help me with the ladies.
I scoff at the memory.
She’s a sarcastic little shit. That’s for sure.
Liv makes me laugh harder than anyone I’ve ever met. Her quirky sense of humor seems to lighten even my darkest days.
But I can’t handle being close to her anymore. I can’t handle the friend zone. I can’t handle the late night calls when she’s seeking advice about her relationship with Adam.
It guts me.
Every. Freaking. Time.
I’m waiting outside the school, with my hands in my front pockets and an old baseball hat on my head that’
s shielding my eyes from the late afternoon sun, as I watch Adam pull up to the curb. Liv places a lingering kiss on Adam’s mouth from across the center console before exiting his cobalt blue Subaru and walking toward me, casually.
Her hips sway with every step, bringing my attention to her skin-tight jeans and off-the-shoulder T-shirt that exposes a patch of her soft skin sprinkled with freckles.
My gaze shoots to Adam as guilt swarms my gut. He’s watching me from behind the wheel. His expression is wary, but that’s it.
I release a heavy sigh.
He nods his head in my direction before placing his car in drive and flying out of the parking lot.
I think we’re both close to breaking, but I’m not sure which of us will crack first. All because of a girl who owns both our hearts, no matter how hard I’ve tried to steal mine back.
“Hey, you!” she greets me with a soft smile.
I return it with one of my own. “Hey, Liv.”
“You ready for this?” she asks in her sweet voice that practically drips honey.
We made a pretty big mess in the auditorium last week with our science project, which was a titration experiment. We tested the acidity of a multitude of substances and provided data for each one. Unfortunately, it required a crap-ton of beakers, test tubes, and chemicals, along with a giant apparatus that will be a bitch to take down.
Because we were the last to perform our experiment, Mrs. Perkins, our science teacher, set up a time for us to take our stuff down later, and that time is right now. Well, technically it was twenty minutes ago, but Liv has Mrs. Perkins wrapped around her pretty little finger, just like the rest of us, so our late arrival shouldn’t be too much of a problem.
“Yup. Let’s get to work.” I almost touch her lower back to guide her into the auditorium but restrain myself at the last instant. My hand drops to my side, feeling as though it weighs a hundred pounds.
It’s almost second nature to me. My body yearns to touch hers, even if it’s innocently.
Like always, she doesn’t notice.
“So how’s Lenna?” Liv asks, mentioning my latest conquest. She’s always striking up a conversation about my dating life, so this isn’t really out of the ordinary, but it always leads to the same exact conversation.
Over and over again.
She doesn’t get why a guy like me would want to date around instead of settling down with a girl.
What she doesn’t understand is that the only girl I really want has already been claimed.
By my best friend.
“I don’t really know. I haven’t talked to her for a few weeks,” I admit as I grip the school door and open it for her.
She smiles shyly at my chivalry before continuing with her innocent probing. “I thought you two were going to the movies this weekend?”
“Nah, that’s Ruby,” I correct her.
Her cute little brows furrow in the most adorable way possible. “Who’s Ruby?”
I shrug my shoulders, walking to the auditorium by Liv’s side. “Nobody.” She opens her mouth to argue, when I interrupt her. “Okay. Not nobody, just….”
Not you, I want to say, but I refrain from speaking my mind.
“Just nobody that will be sticking around, right?” Liv finishes for me, and I grimace at her accurate statement.
“Pretty much.”
“You ever gonna date someone seriously, Luke?” Liv asks me point-blank while giving me the side-eye.
I shrug again, not knowing what to say.
Because, let’s be honest––if it isn’t her then I’m not interested.
And that’s why I’m leaving. Because I can’t handle being friends with her without wishing it was more.
So. Much. More.
“That’s not an answer.” She smirks before crossing her arms over her chest, stubbornly.
What I wouldn’t give to kiss that look off her face….
I shake my head before running my fingers through my dark hair.
“You just won’t give up, will you?”
“Nope.” She grins, popping the ‘p’ at the end.
We’re almost chest to chest and are standing in the middle of the hallway only a few feet from the auditorium.
I catch myself staring at her lips as I lick my own before pulling my attention back to her stormy gray eyes.
Damn, she’s beautiful.
Even when she’s interrogating me.
“Nope,” I respond teasingly. “Relationships are for suckers.”
“And how would you know?” she argues. “You’ve never been in one!”
I huff out a dry laugh. If only she knew. I’ve been in a one-sided relationship for the past eighteen months, and she’s never heard me complain about it.
Trust me. Relationships suck.
“How would you know I’ve never been in one?” I challenge her, lowering my chin.
A light blush kisses her cheeks as she nibbles her lower lip anxiously. “Well….”
I quirk my brow at her.
Sucks when the tables turn, doesn’t it, sweetheart? I think to myself. She thinks she knows me, and she does. Just not...everything.
Liv rolls her eyes in return before uncrossing her arms and shoving my chest playfully, her earlier nervousness dissolving into thin air.
“Oh come on! Sleeping with random girls is not a relationship!” she yells playfully while grinning from ear to ear at our innocent flirting.
I take the opportunity that just presented itself by playing my all-time favorite game with her.
Chicken.
The first one to break the tension or crack under the pressure loses.
And I never lose.
Confidently, I step closer, nearly touching our chests together. Her breathing picks up.
I find it ironic that she has no idea about the connection we have. That she chooses to hide her head in the sand when any sane person can see the chemistry we share. Hell, they can feel it.
Don’t get me wrong. She has chemistry with Adam too, so it’s not like she’s wasting her entire life by being in a relationship with him. But there’s a certain spark that only happens when we’re alone in a room together. The air crackles around us like the electric current pulsing through the air right before lightning strikes.
Only with us...it never does.
This particular moment is thick with it. The heavy weight of possibility hits like a wrecking ball as I tilt my head to the side, plastering a cocky smile on my face and uttering a few simple words that are sure to make her crack. “You’re right, sweetheart. Sleeping around isn’t exactly what I’d consider a relationship. It’s a hell of a lot of fun, though. Aren’t you curious?”
She swallows audibly. “Curious about what?”
I grin as my gaze slides from her gray eyes to her plump lower lip. “About what it’d be like to be with someone else.”
I don’t say his name. Not now. Not when I know it would break the spell.
She remains silent, but I can tell that she’s nearly drowning in our chemistry.
Hell, I can read her like an open book. And right now, her stormy eyes are begging me to continue. She’s practically trembling with curiosity, and I know how close I am to tipping her over the edge.
“I like being with Adam,” she defends herself as her eyes remain glued to my lips.
I can’t help but argue with her logic. “And I like not being tied down to anyone. I like being able to date who I want to date. To touch who I want to touch. To taste who I want to taste.”
I have her.
There’s no doubt in my mind that I could push her up against the lockers right now. I could glue my front to hers before sliding my hands along her bare arms and into her long hair. I could lean down a few inches and press my lips against hers. I could finally find out exactly what she tastes like instead of fantasizing about it like I have for the past year and a half. I could devour her whole. She wouldn’t even fight me on it….
Until she would. Until
her brain caught up to her body and forced her to remember her one and only boyfriend. Her first kiss. Her first love. Her first everything.
And all I’d ever be is a mistake. A regret. And a shitty replacement for my best friend.
Leaning an inch closer, her eyelids flutter slightly before I whisper––a breath away from her luscious red lips––“I win, sweetheart.”
Her eyes pop open in shock before she shoves me away from her in the blink of an eye, hiding her embarrassment with annoyance, though we both know the truth.
She is curious. Just not curious enough.
And neither am I. I might toy with the idea of us being together, but there will always be a giant neon sign named Adam to keep us apart.
Always.
And I’m okay with that, because I love him like a brother, and I’d never do that to him. And neither would she.
We’ll simply be a what if to each other for the rest of our lives, and that’s all it’ll ever be.
That doesn’t make the hard truth any less difficult to swallow, though.
"You're ridiculous. You know that, right?"
An arrogant smirk graces my lips. "Only with you."
She rolls her eyes. "Come on, lover boy. Let's get this stuff taken care of then maybe we can go get something to eat, mmmk?"
I laugh lightly in return, soaking up her playful banter like a dry sponge. "Sounds good."
Chapter 4
Adam
"You're back," my mom notes without turning in my direction. She dabs her nose with some makeup while standing in her opulent bathroom on the second floor of our large home.
I'm not going to say I come from wealth, but we're definitely comfortable. My dad made sure my mom and I were well taken care of before he died a few years ago. I miss that man more than he'll ever know. I love my mom, but his death hasn’t exactly helped my family life.
My mom has always been a meddler, and while my dad gave up on their marriage many years before he passed, he still held some magical power that could rein her in when she’d stuck her nose too far in other people's business.