by Kelsie Rae
"So." She sits down graciously before crossing her legs. "Let's hear your exit strategy."
I roll my eyes. "Mom, Liv and I will be moving out in the next two weeks. The landlord let Liv out of her grandma's lease, so she needs a place to stay. We're going to move up to college and get a place together. She's going to work full-time to pay the bills while I juggle school and work on the side. Do you have any questions?"
My mom's mouth is wide open, and her eyes are almost bugging out of her head with the news of our game plan. I almost want to snap a picture to tease her with when things calm down.
By some miracle, I restrain myself.
"I'm sorry, Adam. What was that again?"
"Mom." I smile softly. "I love you. So much. But I also love Liv. And if you want me to be in your life then you need to accept that she's going to be part of mine, as well. If you can't accept us then...." I shrug one shoulder. "Then I guess that's it."
She bats her fake eyelashes in disbelief. "But...but what about your inheritance? You know what this means, don't you?"
"Yeah, Mom. I understand what it means. And I'm okay with that. Liv and I are going to start our lives together. One day, we're going to get married, and after that, we're going to have kids. She's it for me, and we don't need your financial support in order to achieve our dreams. We'll do it on our own."
My mom's lower lip starts to tremble slightly, and I pull her into a hug. "Mom. Give her a chance. You'll see what I do, and you'll love her."
Stubbornly, she shakes her head. "I just pray you're not making a mistake."
The maroon blanket taunts me from the back of the couch, bringing back terrible memories that I wish I could forget.
"No, Mom. She's the one thing that's certain in my life. The best thing that could’ve ever happened to me. And I'll give up anything to keep her."
Chapter 11
Luke
When I received the invitation, I let it sit on my counter for weeks collecting dust.
I refused to open it. To see a visual confirmation that the girl of my dreams was about to marry my best friend.
Ex-best friend.
With shaky hands, I slide my finger beneath the lip of the envelope.
It's been too long since I’ve seen them, yet not long enough at the same time. I miss them––both of them––more than anything else in the world. But I haven’t had enough time to get over Liv. Or to forgive Adam for what he did. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do either of those things, and that’s what kills me the most.
I feel like I lost everything that ever mattered to me, and I was left to pick up the pieces by myself in hopes of moving on. And I haven’t. Not really, anyway. After a revolving door of faceless women, I had to learn how to buckle down and pass my classes. It hasn’t been easy, but I finally feel like I’m getting a handle on things...only to get this damn invitation. The one that I know will hit me even harder than Adam’s betrayal.
The thick paper is smooth against my calloused thumb and forefinger as I warily read the swirling cursive.
I don't need to check the date because Liv's been sending me daily texts, begging me to come and walk her down the aisle.
Can you imagine that? Physically giving away the love of my life? Handing her over to a man who doesn't deserve her?
As soon as the thought enters my head, I shove it away before feeling guilty as hell.
Adam has left more voicemails than I can count. Each and every one of them is filled with apologies...and promises that he's treating her the way she deserves. They're filled with pleas for me to come home and updates of their lives together. The worst, however, is when Adam begged me to come to the wedding.
"It's the only thing she's asking for, man. Please come. She loves you. She misses you. We both want you here. Please. I'm so sorry. So freaking sorry."
I swallow thickly at the picture in my hands. The image shakes slightly because of my trembling fingers. Adam's forehead is pressed against Liv's intimately, as her gray eyes peek up at the camera. He's looking at her like she hung the moon, while Liv looks like she's got a secret. Her lips are tilted up in a soft smile.
My heart skips a beat at the intimacy of her gaze, and it brings me back to all the nights we spent together.
Why couldn't it be me?
I throw the invitation on the counter. It slides against the Formica countertop in my dump of an apartment.
One day, I'll be out of this mess, and I can move on.
Only twelve more days until I can finally close the door on what could've been, because it'll never be. Two hundred and seventy-three more hours.
My phone vibrates on the countertop, taunting me to answer it when I see Adam's name flash across the screen.
I don't know what possesses me to accept the call, but I do.
Silently, I lift the phone to my ear without saying a word.
"Luke?" Adam asks. His tone drips with surprise.
I clear my throat before responding in a husky voice, "Yeah?"
"Luke! I'm so happy to hear from you, man! I'm so glad I finally got ahold of you! How are things? Have you been getting my voicemails?"
I don't know what to say.
"Uh...yeah. Sorry. I've been busy."
It's a lame ass excuse, and I know he sees right through it. But I'm grateful he doesn't call me out on ignoring his calls. His texts. Hell, he even wrote me a letter.
He’s always had a knack for writing ever since we were asked to keep a journal during our senior year.
It’s simply another area where he excels. And I fall flat.
"Yeah, man,” he continues. “School's rough, right?"
"Yeah."
Cautiously, Adam broaches a subject I’d rather not discuss. "So, did you get the invitation?"
I tug on the roots of my hair in frustration before answering. "Yeah. Congrats, man."
Adam heaves a sigh of relief. "Thanks. That means a lot, Luke. You don’t even know. Do you think you'll be able to make it?" His voice is laced with so much hope that I actually contemplate attending. For about two seconds.
My chest aches even as I consider it. "Nah. I'm really sorry, but I won't be done with finals."
It’s a flat out lie. But apparently, that’s what our relationship has turned into.
The phone is so silent you could hear a pin drop.
He clears his throat on the other end. "Yeah. Yeah. I get that. We had to work around my school, so I totally understand. Uh...We'd love to come see you, though. When your semester is over, maybe? We miss you, man. We both do."
His confession hits me hard.
I've heard it before through his voicemails, and he always seems sincere. But hearing it personally sounds different for some reason, and I don't know how to respond.
I lick my chapped lips as I lean my hip against the counter. "Yeah. Maybe when things calm down or something."
"Okay.” He sounds relieved. “That sounds really good."
I stay silent.
"Look," Adam continues. "I'm sorry I screwed everything up. I know I’ve said it a million times. I just...I need you to know that."
I nod even though he can't see me. Then I ask the one question that keeps me up at night. "Is she happy?"
The call goes quiet as Adam considers my question, and I'm grateful that he doesn't rush in with a lie. That he honestly considers it for a minute before replying. "Yeah, man. I think she is. She misses you, though," he repeats. "She misses you bad. Please come home. Come back. Let me fix this."
I lean my elbows against the countertop as I debate what would be best for everyone.
I miss them like crazy. Both of them.
"I just...I need some more time, okay?" I can hear the pleading in my tone, but I don't care.
He knows how I feel about Liv. He's always known.
"Yeah. Okay. I'll be here when you're ready, though."
I lick my lips again. "Sounds good. Tell Liv I'm sorry I can't make it."
"I will," Ad
am reassures me.
We shoot the shit for another ten minutes before hanging up the phone with a finality that’s almost palpable.
I think we both know that I’m not in a place to be close.
Not yet.
Maybe not ever.
And it sucks.
Chapter 12
Luke
A white little church with green grass and a large maple tree beside it sits in front of me.
I’ve been in my car for the last hour, staring blankly ahead as the guests arrived.
Finally, the doors close slowly to commence the ceremony.
Digging deep, I open the driver’s side door and walk over to the entrance. There's a set of stained glass windows where I can see everything at the front of the church, giving me a front row view of the ceremony.
The question is...do I want to see?
Do I really want to see the love of my life marry another man?
Do I want to acknowledge the fact that I wasted my last chance to tell her how I feel? Proving that I'm a coward all over again?
What would I even say?
“Don’t marry him. Give me a shot. I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since that first day of school after Christmas break. You’re all I’ve ever wanted. I can’t breathe when you’re not around. Pick me. Choose me. Be with me. Love. Me.”
I should've fought for her. I should've told her I loved her. I should've stepped up and been the man she needed me to be.
Instead, I left.
I left her.
As I peek through the window, I see the most beautiful woman in the world dressed in white. The dress hugs her tight little body before slowly flaring out at the bottom. It's covered in lace and makes her look like an angel.
She is an angel.
Adam takes Liv's hands in his own as he recites his vows. I don't hear a word, and I can't read his lips, but his eyes tell me everything I could ever want to know.
He loves her. Hell, he loves her so damn much that I know I made the right decision to stay away. And that I made the right decision when I didn't tell her about his slip-up with Lana.
The adoration shining from his gaze is enough to prove that she chose the right guy. But that doesn’t make my heart ache any less.
As soon as he's finished, it's Liv's turn to express her love for my best friend.
Her white teeth dig into her lower lip as she shifts from one foot to the other before looking up at Adam and smiling softly.
She looks a little nervous, but happy too.
When she's asked to say "I do," there’s a split second of hesitation, and her gaze searches the audience. The combination of both do me in.
I lose my breath, feeling like a boa constrictor is wrapped around my torso, squeezing the life out of me.
Liv
It’s so surreal, you know? Being in that moment where you know your entire life is going to change. Where you know that the decision you’re about to make will affect you irrevocably. For better or worse, it’s about to happen. And here I stand, on the precipice of an adventure.
Just like Adam promised when we first met. I can still hear his voice from that first day in class. “Well, Liv, let me tell you a little secret. We’re going to have one hell of an adventure.”
I’ve been freaking out for weeks. The entire time I’ve been wondering if I’m making the right decision. If I’m too young to get married. If Adam and I belong together. And if I believe in soul mates, or if I’m flat-out crazy.
I’ve missed Luke more than ever lately. He’s always been my rock. My Liv Whisperer. And yet, he disappeared on me.
The thought hits me hard and nearly causes me to lose my breath.
I could really use him right now. I know exactly what he’d say.
He would ask if Adam makes me happy, and I would say yes. He’d smile at me softly before pulling me into a hug and whispering, Then that’s all that really matters, isn’t it? And I’d smile into his chest before pinching his butt playfully. Then we’d binge on Seinfeld and ice cream, like our little heart-to-heart never even happened. I smile inwardly as the imaginary scenario plays out in my head.
Before I can stop myself, my eyes scan the audience in the small chapel, searching for my best friend. My Luke.
The faces in the crowd blur together as my vision turns glassy. He isn’t here.
Somehow, I know that I won’t be seeing him again, and the realization hurts. It aches.
So. Damn. Much.
All I want is for Luke to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.
His parents swear that he’s okay, so I guess that has to be enough for me too. It’s not like I have a choice in the matter. His parents and I rarely talk, but sometimes, when I really need my Liv Whisperer, I reach out to them. Unfortunately, they never give me any new information, always reiterating the fact that school is busy, and that he’s doing okay.
That’s it. Nothing else.
The lack of information hurts almost as much as his disappearing act. But I hold on to their words anyway, praying that they’re true.
Blinking quickly, I turn my attention back to my future husband and let the memories of my best friend fade away.
The man in front of me stole my heart with a mischievous smirk and the promise of an adventure all those years ago in class. His gaze is shining with unrestrained love, and my heart melts instantly. I lick my lips softly, as anticipation seeps into my veins, before turning to the preacher with my answer on the tip of my tongue.
Luke
Her attention goes back to the man performing the ceremony, as she licks her supple lips. I watch from the window when they form the words, "I do."
Then the preacher tells Adam to kiss his bride.
And he does.
Slowly, he grips the side of her face like she's a precious gift before leaning in and pressing his mouth against hers.
Cheering erupts throughout the crowd, and they pull away from each other before Adam lifts their laced fingers into the air victoriously. They're both grinning from ear to ear when Adam's gaze collides with my own.
He sobers slightly at my presence until I give him a brotherly nod of approval.
I’m happy for him. For the love he was able to salvage. And that he finally got his head out of his ass.
He returns the nod before turning his attention back to his blushing bride as the photographer swarms them. She’s snapping pictures of the beautiful couple left and right and putting the final nail in the coffin of our relationship...and what could've been.
Reluctantly, I turn my back on the chapel and head to my car, with plans to drive straight back to Denver and drown myself in alcohol for a week. Or maybe a month.
I’ve just touched the car handle when a familiar voice interrupts me.
"Hey, you!" my sister greets, scaring the living hell out of me.
I flinch when I realize she’s recognized me, wishing I could've made my escape without anyone witnessing my presence. Damn it. I've been spotted twice now.
"What are you doing here?" I ask her bluntly, barely keeping my fraying emotions from unraveling right outside of the church.
"Winning a bet," she teases sarcastically.
My gaze scans the chapel, grateful the doors haven’t opened yet. I need to get out of here before Liv exits and sees me. "Get in the car, Breezy. I need to get out of here."
Thankfully, she agrees wholeheartedly and slides into the passenger seat without protest.
Shoving the car out of park, I peel out, and we drive down the road in silence.
"Wanna talk about it?" she probes as she examines her freshly painted fingernails.
I shake my head. Breezy might be my bubbly younger sister, but she's observant as hell, and it doesn't surprise me that she knows about my feelings for Liv.
She's always known.
"Good. Then you can listen." She winks after looking over at me. "What happened with Liv is crappy. Really crappy. But things happen for a reason, ok
ay? It's all going to work out in the end. Even if you don't end up with Liv, you're going to find your happily ever after, and I'm going to be right by your side telling you, ‘I told ya so,’ as soon as you do! Mmmk, pumpkin?"
I stay silent, praying that she’s right. That the pain I’m feeling will one day lessen. That I’ll be able to find someone who makes me feel the way that Liv does.
And that Liv’s happy. Truly happy.
Bree digs into her purse and pulls out two pieces of Bubble Yum bubblegum. She hands one to me before unwrapping a square and popping it into her mouth.
"Now, let's go home and see who can blow the biggest bubble. Winner gets to pick dinner." She bounces her eyebrows up and down suggestively.
My lips tilt up slightly in amusement while I try to hold back a fresh wave of tears from spilling. By some miracle, her playfulness begins to slowly melt the block of ice in my chest.
"Deal," I agree. My tone is somber.
I’ll do anything to take my mind off of the girl of my dreams who’s riding off into the sunset with another man.
Maybe Bree’s right. Maybe one day I’ll be lucky enough to find the same thing.
Even though it feels a hell of a lot like I had already found it.
And let it slip through my fingers.
The End
Or is it?
Dear Reader
I want to thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for taking a chance on a total newbie. For giving me the opportunity to share this story with you. For rooting for the little guy. I couldn’t do this without you!
I would also be very grateful if you could take the time to leave a review. It’s amazing how such a little thing like a review can be such a huge help to a new author!
Sneak Peek
Looking for a sneak peek of Liv, Luke, Adam, Susan, Bree, and the rest of the gang?
Here’s the first chapter of Liv, available now!