Cassandra Austin

by Trusting Sarah

  “Slow down, Rice,” River admonished. “You’ll give us all nervous stomachs just watching you.”

  “Sorry.” Rice made an effort to eat more slowly. “You coming with me, River?” Sarah thought the question was probably meant to get his friend to hurry.

  “Nope. I’ll let you do the shopping. I’ll go in a little later and see what news I can pick up.”

  Rice looked across at Eli, who answered his unspoken question. “I’m sending Sarie with ya.”

  Rice and Sarah exchanged smiles, and Rice went back to eating as hurriedly as ever. It took every ounce of concentration for Sarah to avoid looking at River. The prickling on the back of her neck convinced her he wasn’t returning the favor.

  Rice finished his breakfast and ran to get the team. Sarah finished soon after. River watched her with narrowed eyes as she checked the list, asking Eli a question about one of the items. The old man made fun of her for not understanding, but if it bothered her, she didn’t let it show.

  River couldn’t help but notice that she never looked in his direction. He thought it was curious but decided she was giving him the cold shoulder for suggesting she tell Eli her so-called explanation. That had been days ago, he realized, and they had barely spoken since. It made him wonder what, if anything, she had told Eli.

  When Rice returned, River was surprised to see Sarah move to help with the team. He glanced at Eli, but the old man didn’t seem to notice.

  Finally the wagon pulled out of the circle, and River waved goodbye to his young friend. He turned to refill his coffee cup and found Eli staring at him. “I reckon you got my morning planned,” he said, returning to his seat with the steaming cup. “Where do we start?”

  “With this here wagon. It’s fixin’ to fall apart, in case yer interested.”

  River gave a noncommittal grunt. “Are you grouchier than usual, or have I just not noticed till now.”

  “Ya just ain’t noticed.”

  River laughed, but Eli ignored him.

  “Like ya ain’t noticed how unhappy Sarie is.”

  River looked across the camp, giving himself time to bury the resentment the comment caused. Several emigrants were leaving for a trip into Fort Kearny, a few in wagons but most on horseback or on foot. He took another slow sip of his coffee before he answered Eli. “I don’t think she seems particularly unhappy.”

  “Aha! I said ya don’t notice nothin’.”

  River cast Eli a withering look, but the old man wasn’t discouraged.

  “I know all ‘bout ya and her and how mean ya was to her,” he said.

  “What!” River sprang to his feet, nearly spilling his coffee. “I was mean to her?”

  “Well, I’m glad to hear ya admit it.” Eli dumped his coffee cup and put it with the other dishes. He moved to unfasten the grease bucket from the side of the wagon.

  “I don’t know what she told you, but—”

  Eli cut him off. “Don’t wanna hear no more ‘bout it.” He took River’s cup from his hand and thrust the grease bucket into it. “Ya should be ashamed.”

  River stood fuming for a full minute while Eli turned to the dishes, ignoring him. What kind of crazy story did she tell? he wondered. He moved to grease the wagon wheels, mentally cursing both Sarah and a foolish old man who would believe what she said.

  At the last wheel, Eli came to look over his shoulder. “Gotta use a little more ‘an that.”

  River straightened suddenly, causing Eli to fall back a step. “Do you want to do this?”

  “Mean, that’s just what ya are,” he grumbled.

  River sighed in exasperation. He finished the wheel and returned the bucket to its place.

  Eli spoke the moment he was done. “Now, ya gotta check the brake beam. I think it’s coming loose.”

  River eyed him a moment. “What did she tell you?”

  “Who?” asked Eli, moving to the other side of the wagon to inspect the brake shoe in front of the rear wheel.

  River gritted his teeth and followed. “What did Sarah tell you?”

  “Enough. Now crawl under there and make sure the beam is still in one piece.”

  River slid under the wagon and tried to concentrate on checking the brake beam. Did Sarah expect him to suffer Eli’s temper in silence? He had promised to keep quiet, but if she was going to lie, he was going to defend himself.

  He found a bolt that was working loose and tightened it; otherwise the brake beam seemed fine. When he slid out from under the wagon, Eli was crouched nearby watching him. River sat with his back against the wagon wheel and glared at the older man.

  “She’s been in prison,” Eli stated.

  A suspicion began to form in River’s mind. “She told you that?”

  “I’m right, ain’t I?”

  River grinned. “She didn’t tell you anything. You’re guessing.”

  “I can guess more ‘an that. Ya meant somethin’ to each other, didn’t ya? I bet ya promised to marry her.”

  The two men watched each other, trying to read the other’s mind. Finally River spoke. “You can guess all you want, Eli, but keep it to yourself. I promised her I’d keep quiet about her past, and you’re not tricking me into telling you.”

  “I was right, though, weren’t I? Sarie don’t hardly talk, don’t like bein’ inside the wagon, and she jumps worse’n a grasshopper. ‘Sides, she knows ya, and ya scare her. That much I know for sure. My guess is she’s been in prison, and ya know all ‘bout it.”

  River’s expression didn’t change.

  “Am I right?” He tried to stare River down. Failing, he nodded slowly. “I’m right. And ya were again’ her, somehow. Are ya the reason she went to prison? Was it yer word that sent her? I know ya done somethin’ to hurt that girl.”

  River came to his feet.

  Eli looked up at him. “Was it murder? Did she kill yer wife? Er maybe her own husband?”

  River gave Eli a withering look as he considered just how much he should say. Eli was intentionally making crazy guesses in an effort to get information. River realized that at least part of Eli’s plan was working. He didn’t want the old man to think Sarah was a murderer. “She went to prison for robbery. But keep it to yourself, Eli. For her sake.”

  * * *

  Ernest Ortman nearly stumbled in his haste to get back to his wagon. Prudence would want to hear about this!

  He had been on his way to talk to River. Prudence had sent him to complain about the late travel of the night before. He tried to get himself worked up again, remembering how tired and haggard his poor sister had been, trying to fix their supper in the dark. He couldn’t quite do it; he was too excited.

  He had heard the old man talking to River. Waiting, not wanting to interrupt, he had heard the old man mention Sarah. He couldn’t help but listen after that. Then he had hurried away. Even now he took a quick look behind him. When he was almost to his wagon, he called out to his sister. His voice came out a croaking whisper. “Prudence. Prudence.”

  She answered weakly from the wagon. “In here.”

  His poor sister was lying on her bed, such as it was, trying to rest. She didn’t remove the damp cloth that was draped across her eyes but spoke as Ernest climbed into the wagon. “What did you tell him?”

  “I didn’t get a chance to tell him nothin’ a’tall,” Ernest began, still breathless from hurry and excitement.

  Prudence took the cloth from her eyes and glared at him.

  “That River fella was talking to the old man, Eli, and—”

  “And you can just go back and wait till they’re done,” Prudence interrupted.

  Ernest was undaunted by his sister’s stern face. “But let me tell you what I heard them sayin’.”

  Prudence was suddenly interested. She even rose up on her elbow to listen.

  Ernest announced, “Sarah’s been in prison.”

  Prudence glared at her brother a moment, watching his face fall in light of her reaction. After she had let him squirm a moment, s
he asked, “Who’s Sarah?”

  Ernest was plainly disappointed. Such a juicy bit of news should have earned him more respect than this. But his poor sister had been too busy to get acquainted around the train, he reminded himself. “She’s the young woman that travels with Eli, River and the boy, Rice.”

  Prudence’s eyes narrowed. “A young woman traveling on this train has been in prison?” She settled back onto her bed and replaced the damp cloth. “You’re imagining things.”

  “No,” Ernest whispered fiercely, leaning toward her. “I know what I heard. Eli was saying he knew Sarah had been in prison, and that River fella told him to keep it to himself. And Sarah is the name of the woman with that bunch.”

  Prudence pulled the cloth from her eyes and gazed at the canvas overhead. “I don’t remember a Sarah. What do you know about her?”

  “Well, she’s young, like twenties, I’d say. Rides the wagon with Rice. Sometimes she’s with the Williams family, you know, the one with all the babies. She’s real small and has pretty brownish red hair and big brown eyes.”

  “Does she—” Prudence tried to interrupt, but Ernest had warmed to the subject.

  “She’s real quiet and don’t hardly ever smile, but when she does it’s like...like...”

  “Ernest!”

  His attention quickly flew to his sister’s plump face. She glared at him, and when she was sure he felt properly chastened, she asked, “Does she act strange—you know—like she’s different?”

  Ernest had to think about that a moment. He had certainly watched her as much as possible. She hadn’t ever seemed to notice him. In fact, she hadn’t seemed very sociable, though he hadn’t found fault with that until now. “Well...” He hesitated. “Now that you mention it, I guess she does act a little odd.”

  Prudence sat up, glad to see her brother coming back to his senses. “Well, we can’t have a crazy person on the train with decent folks. Did he say why she went to prison?”

  Ernest’s eyes grew large. “Robbery.”

  “Go get my husband. We need to decide just how we’re going to handle this matter.”

  * * *

  River stepped out of the post commander’s office and surveyed the activity around him. Fort Kearny was little more than a circle of frame buildings with a parade ground in the middle, but, as always in the spring, it was filled with emigrants, trappers, Indians, oxen, mules and wagons. The sights and sounds were so much a part of the place for River that it was hard now to think of it without them, though he had certainly been here in the off-season often enough.

  He walked across the porch to lean against a post, trying to think about the fort and his short stint as an army scout and to forget about Sarah, Eli and the promise he had broken. His attention went to the sutler’s store, where most of the activity was centered. His gaze was drawn to Sarah. How could a woman in such a plain dress stand out in a crowd?

  He looked away. She was with Rice, he didn’t have to worry about her. He should check around, see if any of his old friends were still around, gather as much news as he could. He found himself turning to watch Sarah again. His eyes could settle on her without even searching.

  The bonnet had been pushed off her head, and the sunlight danced like fire in her hair. She was standing by the wagon, supervising Rice as he loaded the supplies. The boy was talking and would stop to finish what he was saying before going for another load. The job was taking twice as long as it should have, but Sarah didn’t seem to mind. Even at this distance, River could see her smile and nod to the boy.

  Before he knew it, he was walking across the parade ground toward them. He wasn’t even sure when he had made the decision to step off the porch. Rice waved as he approached, and Sarah turned cautiously toward him.

  “Me and Miss Sarah’s almost done,” the boy said. “You want to ride back to the camp with us?”

  River found it impossible not to smile at his young friend. “You better work more and talk less, or you’ll never get done.”

  “Yes, sir,” Rice responded, but he was still smiling as he turned toward the store for another load of their purchases.

  With the boy gone, River realized he was standing very close to Sarah. She had barely looked at him since he had joined them. I make her nervous, he realized, and wondered why. Has she got some reason to feel guilty?

  Sarah was all too conscious of River’s nearness. Rice had been talking about his friend, and she had been soaking it all in. Now he stood beside her, and she was afraid her feelings would show. She wanted to say something that would break the tension, some casual comment about Rice’s conversation, but she found herself tongue-tied, as she so often did. Around River it was always worse. She kept her eyes toward the store, hoping River wasn’t looking at her, afraid to turn and see.

  River watched the still profile with a certain amount of discomfort. He was the one feeling guilty. His conscience told him he had to warn her before she got back to Eli. “I need to talk to you,” he said, and Sarah jumped.

  She turned toward him, trying to govern her expression, hoping he wouldn’t know she was shaking inside.

  He stepped back to lean against the wagon, focusing his attention on something over her left shoulder. How could she look so sweet and vulnerable? He didn’t dare look in her eyes.

  Rice stepped between them and tossed a sack of flour off his shoulder onto the wagon bed then scooted it more snugly into place. “That’s everything,” he announced.

  “Do me a favor,” River said, smiling at the boy’s eager nod. “The pinto’s tied across the parade ground. Ride him back to camp for me.”

  “Yes, sir! You gonna give Sarah another driving lesson?”

  The ghost of a smile played on Sarah’s lips at River’s surprise and vanished quickly when his eyes met hers.

  “Something like that,” he said, feeling himself slide into the deep brown pools he had tried to avoid.

  “You want I should go back now?”

  With an effort, River pulled his gaze back to his young friend. “Whenever you’re ready.”

  “Yes, sir!” Rice repeated, obviously pleased at River’s show of confidence. “I’m ready now.”

  He cast Sarah a proud grin before he hurried away. Her feelings were mixed. She was happy for the boy, but now she was alone with River. Her feelings about that were confused in themselves.

  She watched River’s back as he secured the tailboard. Rice could have performed the same task just as expertly, but Sarah was conscious of River’s greater strength. It was a physical reminder of how much power he had over her. His knowledge of her past could ruin her future. She didn’t even want to think of what he could do to her if he knew she still loved him.

  “Shall we?” River motioned toward the front of the wagon. His easy grin made Sarah want to turn and run. Instead, she took a moment to remind her legs how to work, then walked, calmly she hoped, toward the front of the wagon.

  River’s warm hand took her elbow to help her aboard, and she settled onto the seat. River climbed up beside her, released the brake and called to the oxen. Sarah watched his hands as he negotiated the wagon through the crowd. In a way she wished he did have a driving lesson in mind. That seemed less frightening than some of the things he might want to talk about. He always made her too nervous to say what she meant.

  When they had left the fort behind them, River glanced at his companion. She sat very still and straight beside him, almost at attention. He felt another pang of guilt, and it made him angry. This was her fault after all; she was the one with the prison record. But I’m the one who let Eli trick me into telling. Blaming the old man wasn’t going to make things easier for Sarah.

  He studied the small hands that rested on the dull brown fabric of her lap. They were showing signs of hard work, yet he had never heard her complain. He had to admit she had changed a lot in six years. River turned away from her, surprised at the direction his thoughts were taking. Staring resolutely at the backs of the oxen, he got it o
ver with. “Eli knows you’ve been in prison.”

  Sarah didn’t move. She wanted to pretend she hadn’t heard him right, pretend he was talking about something else.

  “Did you hear me? Eli knows. He guessed it.” He braced himself for a tirade. He had broken a promise. He would let her get it all out, then he would try to explain.

  Sarah watched a wagon pull out of a circle a short distance away without really seeing it. She had known this would happen from the moment she recognized River. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “What did he say?”

  River stared at her in disbelief. Where were the angry tears? The accusations? Had she known he would tell and planned for it? God, had she expected Eli to take her side? What kind of plotting went on in that pretty little head?

  When River didn’t answer, Sarah concluded the worst. Eli wanted her off the train. That’s why River had needed to talk to her. He was taking her back to camp to get her things from the other wagon, and she would be on her own. She would never see Rice again! River had sent him on ahead, and Eli would make sure he was busy. She wouldn’t even have a chance to say goodbye.

  It was more than she could handle, and she panicked. Without a word she jumped to her feet and climbed from the moving wagon.

  “What the—” River pulled the lines, and the oxen began to slow. He reached a hand toward Sarah, but she had already gone over the side. He knew she had landed safely when he saw her running across the prairie, her skirts held in her hands and her bonnet swinging against her back.

  He swore under his breath as he directed the oxen off the track and pulled them to a stop, setting the brake. In a moment, he was on the ground running after her. His long legs ate up the distance between them, and he caught her arm, bringing her to a breathless stop.

  Other wagons were passing near them. Three camps were spread out on the plains around them, and the fort was still in sight, but to them they were alone on the prairie.

  Sarah struggled to free her arm, and River caught her by her shoulders, fighting the urge to shake her. Travelers were run over by wagon wheels too often for him not to know what she had risked to get away from him. The fact that he had climbed out of the moving wagon a few days before didn’t enter his mind. “Are you crazy?” he yelled when he had caught his breath.