Craven (9781921997365)

by Casey, Melanie

  ‘It’s not that.’ I looked up and locked eyes with him. ‘What if I can talk to him?’ I said.

  ‘What?’

  ‘You said he’s brain dead?’

  ‘The nurse said there’s no brain activity,’ Dave said.

  ‘So if the machines weren’t on he’d be dead?’

  ‘Yes,’ Ed said.

  ‘Maybe I could touch him and see what happens.’

  CHAPTER

  29

  Tuesday morning found me standing at my front door with my hand frozen on the doorknob. My heart was pounding and my chest was so tight I could barely breathe. I finally got myself under control and forced myself to step out onto my small front porch and lock the door. I double-checked to make sure I’d done it properly.

  My head jerked around as I caught movement out of the corner of my eye and I immediately felt like a total idiot for being so jumpy. Elliot had wandered over to weave around my ankles. Since my week in bed he’d been a regular visitor. I’d taken to giving him a few scraps of meat every now and then. We were starting to form a beautiful friendship.

  ‘Sorry Elliot, you’re out of luck. I’m just heading out. Come back later, OK?’ I bent down and tickled him under his chin and was rewarded with a rumbling purr. My head snapped up again as a car started and roared away down the street right opposite my block of apartments. I had to stop jumping at every noise or movement. It was exhausting.

  I’d spent the night before lying awake, listening to every noise and thinking that someone was going to burst through the door and attack me. When I finally drifted off to sleep my dreams were plagued by men wearing masks, bloody handwriting and corpses falling on me. All in all, it was a pretty awful night.

  I hated to admit it, but I missed Mum. I’d talked her into going home on Sunday afternoon. The truth was that as much as I loved her I couldn’t handle living in a two-bedroom apartment with her. She was no Florence Nightingale and I was a lousy patient.

  The solitude that followed her departure had felt really good for the first day. I’d managed to soldier through Monday morning without any problems but then Ed had called …

  I really wasn’t feeling up to going to work. The shit going through my head about the stalker coupled with the Smythe interview had left me an emotional train-wreck. I didn’t want to face a world that held the person who had attacked me. That person was more than likely someone connected with the university. There was a good chance I was going to see him that day without even realising it. Then there was the fact that I had an appointment with Bennet.

  The sound of a door slamming set my heart racing again. I tried to breathe through it. I walked over to my car and slid in, locking the door behind me. It was ridiculous to be locking myself into my car in broad daylight but it made me feel a little bit safer. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the seat. Five minutes later I was still sitting like that trying to find the nerve to start the car when my mobile chirped in my pocket, nearly giving me a heart attack.

  I fumbled for it, flipping open the cover. ‘Hello?’

  ‘It’s Claire, have you left home yet?’

  ‘No, why?’

  ‘That’s great! Mike was supposed to drive me to work today but he can’t. I’ve missed the bus I’d usually catch. Any chance you could swing by and give me a lift?’

  Claire’s call for help was what I needed to get over my inertia. ‘Sure. See you in a few minutes.’

  I hung up and looked around. There was no one in sight. It was a perfectly normal Tuesday morning. The apartment complex was quiet and everything looked in order. With a deep breath I started the car.

  The cool sunshine of the morning helped to lift my mood and within a few minutes of pulling out of my driveway the shadows that had chased me through the night had disappeared back into their corners. As I drove through the narrow backstreets I could see the first hints of spring. Fruit trees here and there had burst into delicate pink and white blossoms and some roses had early blooms.

  Claire ran up to the car and jumped in. A waft of a clean, crisp perfume swept into the car with her.

  I resisted the urge to study my own reflection in the rear-view mirror and make comparisons. I knew what I would see. Dark shadows under my eyes and bruises turned from blue to a sickly yellow that my makeup couldn’t quite hide. I wasn’t going to win any beauty competitions any time soon.

  ‘Better?’

  ‘Getting there.’

  ‘Your mum?’

  ‘I finally convinced her to go home on Sunday.’

  ‘Yay! Does that mean you’re allowed out to play now?’

  ‘She didn’t stop me from going out.’

  ‘No, but she convinced you it was a bad idea and that you needed your rest.’

  ‘Something like that.’ I smiled.

  ‘Maybe we can catch up this weekend?’

  ‘That’d be good. So, what’s the story with your brother?’

  ‘He had an episode last night.’

  ‘An episode?’

  ‘He stopped taking his meds a week or so ago. I didn’t realise. I guess I’ve been too busy. I should have recognised the signs. He gets really aggressive and paranoid. He accused me of trying to poison him last night. I finally called in his psychiatrist who calmed him down and got him to take his pills. He’s much better, but he’ll have to rest for a couple of days until everything settles down.’

  ‘I thought your brother had a disability?’

  ‘He does. Schizophrenia. It’s not as scary as it sounds. Most of the time he manages it really well and you’d hardly know.’

  ‘It’s not that … I misunderstood. When you first told me I thought you meant he had a physical disability.’

  ‘Nah, it’s a mental one. To look at him you’d never know. He works out and he’s not bad looking, I suppose.’

  ‘What does he do?’

  ‘He’s a techno-geek. He tests computer security systems. He’s always been good with computers. As a teenager he got busted for hacking a couple of times. He’s lucky he didn’t end up in gaol. His boss is a gem; he had a son who was schizophrenic. He understands Mike’s issues and cuts him some slack. It’s sad really. His own son committed suicide about ten years ago. I think deep down he feels he didn’t do enough to help him when he could.’

  ‘So he’s making up for it by helping Mike?’

  ‘Lucky for Mike.’

  We joined the traffic on one of the main roads into the city and found ourselves stuck behind an army of four-wheel drives chugging along at a top speed of about fifteen. Peak-hour traffic was a new kind of hell to me. I couldn’t fathom that Adelaide peak hour was bliss compared to the snarls in other states. Thankfully we had fewer than five clicks to travel.

  ‘What time’s your first tutorial?’ I asked Claire.

  ‘Not until ten thankfully but I’m supposed to have office time between nine and ten. I guess I’m going to be a bit late for that! So how are you feeling about your meeting this morning?’

  ‘I’m worried Bennet’s going to give me the flick.’

  ‘I’d be amazed. He’d look like a total schmuck if he sacked you after you’d been the victim of an assault.’

  I winced. I hated the word victim. An image of the masked man flashed through my head making me shudder.

  ‘Watch out!’

  I braked hard. I’d nearly driven up the back of the monster four-wheel drive in front of us. My car was so tiny by comparison that I had zero visibility of what was happening on the road ahead.

  ‘Sorry, I was lost in head space.’

  ‘You look stressed.’

  ‘I’m worried about this morning but I’m also still a bit freaked out by the attack. I’m not getting much sleep.’

  ‘You really should get some counselling. Maybe you’ve got post-traumatic stress or something.’

  ‘I’m thinking about it.’

  ‘Did you want to meet for lunch? I’m free at twelve and you can tell me what Bennet had to say.�
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  ‘Where will I meet you?’

  ‘How about the Gallery again?’

  ‘Done.’

  We drove the rest of the way in relative silence. I lapsed back into brooding about recent events. By the time we reached the university car park it was 9.25am. I’d have to get my skates on or I’d be late for Bennet. Somehow I didn’t think he’d take tardiness too well.

  I said a hurried goodbye to Claire and headed up the multiple flights of stairs that led from the back of the university to the Napier Building. Most of the students I passed were moving at a much more leisurely pace. I seemed to be the only person in a hurry. After an interminably long wait for a lift I got to Bennet’s office with one minute to spare. I was hot, sweaty and short of breath but I was on time.

  To my disgust, I found myself waiting outside his office for the next ten minutes. He was in a meeting, apparently.

  Finally his door opened and he beckoned me in. No one exited the room. I began to think he’d kept me waiting on purpose. Was it a power play?

  ‘Sit down please, Miss Lehman.’

  I sat in one of the visitors’ chairs opposite his desk.

  ‘I won’t beat about the bush.’ He ran a hand through his thinning hair, checking his comb-over was in place. ‘Your absence has been an issue.’

  ‘I was attacked.’

  ‘Yes, unfortunate.’ His tone didn’t match the sentiment.

  ‘It wasn’t in my control.’

  ‘I realise that, however it creates problems when one of my tutors is absent. We had great difficulty in covering your tutorials.’

  ‘But you did cover them.’

  ‘We did.’

  ‘So there was no harm done.’

  ‘No harm? Well, I wouldn’t say that. The students don’t like change, you know. It unsettles them when you disturb their routine.’

  ‘They’d only had me for one tutorial; that hardly counts as a routine.’

  ‘That’s your view. I need to tell you, Miss Lehman, that any further absences will result in a review of your employment with us.’

  ‘That’s hardly fair! What if I’m sick?’

  ‘Your employment contract included a three-month probation clause. I have a right to terminate your employment if I think you’re not meeting our requirements. If you can’t fulfil the terms of our agreement, which means taking your allocated number of tutorials each week, then I’m afraid you will leave me no other option.’

  ‘I see.’ I wanted to tell him where he could shove his job and walk out of his office. The only thing that stopped me was I needed the money if I was going to have any chance of staying in Adelaide.

  ‘Good, I’m glad we understand each other. Now, if you’ll excuse me I have other matters to attend to.’ He stood up, dismissing me.

  I walked out of his office with my temples pounding and my brain full of murderous thoughts. The guy was a complete prick. There weren’t many people who could send me from zero to rage in a few heartbeats but he was a master at it. I went to the toilets and splashed cold water on my face in an effort calm down. I had no idea what I’d done to piss him off so much but it was clear he had it in for me. He was probably hoping I’d tell him to go fuck himself. I was glad I’d managed to keep my cool. I was beginning to realise that being a tutor really wasn’t for me but I’d be damned if I left before I was ready to.

  I closed my eyes and thought about Ed. I wondered what he was doing. Working with him and his police cronies seemed like a doddle compared to running the gauntlet of academia.

  I had a steady procession of students see me throughout the morning. Their first assignment was due the following week and their anxiety levels were running high. So were mine.

  I couldn’t help it. I kept asking myself the same questions. Was it a student who’d attacked me? Would he try again? Every time my office door opened my stomach lurched and I struggled to breathe. I found myself assessing each male visitor to see if he was the same physical type as my attacker.

  One student, a quiet serious type who refused to meet my eyes, had me so nervous that I nearly yelled at him when he went to shut the door behind him as he walked in. I fidgeted and sweated through his short session with me. He must have thought I was nuts or on drugs or both. I’m pretty sure I didn’t give him any useful advice about his paper.

  At noon I locked my office and practically left a cloud of dust in my wake as I bolted for the Gallery. I chose a table tucked in a corner and sat, studying everyone who came and went. Every time someone glanced in my direction my pulse jumped up a gear. I was losing the plot. By the time Claire arrived ten minutes later I was in such a state of tension I was ready to implode.

  She slid into the chair opposite me with her usual effortless grace. ‘You look awful! Don’t tell me Bennet actually sacked you?’

  I tried to swallow, but my throat was sandpaper dry. ‘Um, no, he didn’t. He just gave me a hard time and made a few threats.’

  ‘So what is it then? Something’s up.’

  ‘I’m a bit freaked out. I keep looking at every person who crosses my path and wondering if they’re my stalker. I’ve also been thinking about yesterday. I went with Ed and Dave to see their suspect. They wanted to know if I recognised his voice from the vision I had at the cemetery.’

  ‘And did you?’

  ‘Not really. I couldn’t be sure. That’s part of the problem too. I feel like I didn’t help at all and the whole episode made me feel more anxious and on edge. I’ve hardly slept. I could barely bring myself to leave home this morning.’

  ‘Shit, that’s terrible. Why didn’t you say something in the car? You can’t go around worrying all the time. You’ll give yourself a nervous breakdown.’

  ‘Yeah, I feel like I’m already having one.’

  ‘Let’s eat. Food always makes me feel better.’

  I nodded and we spent the next few minutes with our faces buried in menus.

  ‘I recommend something completely wicked like the chicken and brie focaccia – it’s a massive calorie hit but God it’s good,’ she said.

  ‘I was thinking the steak sandwich with chips.’

  The food was good and eating and light conversation made me feel so much better. By the time I threw my serviette onto my plate I was almost like myself again.

  ‘So, what are you going to do about it?’ Claire asked.

  ‘What?’

  Claire’s question came at me like a bullet, catching me when my defences were completely down.

  ‘You’ve got to stop walking around like a victim and take control of the situation. If you keep jumping at every shadow you’re going to drive yourself nuts. What can you do to make it better?’

  ‘Self-defence classes?’

  Claire snorted. ‘That wasn’t exactly what I was thinking of.’

  I crossed my arms over my chest. ‘What would you do then?’

  ‘I’d report the attack to security, for starters. You could also put an alarm in your apartment.’

  ‘So you think he might try again?’ I felt she was confirming my worst fears. Instead of making me feel better, she was adding fuel to my already healthy paranoia.

  ‘You have to be prepared in case they do. Don’t walk anywhere late at night by yourself. Make sure the guards escort you from your office to your car at the end of the day.’

  ‘Shit, I can’t live like that.’ I buried my face in my hands.

  ‘Is there an alternative?’

  I uncovered my face and looked at her. There was another option but it involved running back to Jewel Bay and that was the last thing I wanted to do.

  ‘No, there’s not.’

  ‘Then do it. The other thing you should think about is getting some counselling to help you deal with the stress. You’re a freakin’ mess. Like I said this morning, you should talk to someone about how you’re feeling.’

  ‘Since when did you get to be an expert at all this stuff?’

  ‘Since I had an ex-boyfriend who turned into a
stalker.’

  ‘Oh God, really? That’s terrible.’

  ‘He scared me half to death. Every time I turned around he was there. He never attacked me, but I felt threatened.’

  ‘So what happened?’

  ‘Mike sorted him out.’

  ‘Your brother?’

  ‘Yeah. I didn’t tell him about it for ages but when he finally found out he beat the crap out of the guy.’

  ‘And it stopped.’

  ‘My ex nearly stopped, period. Mike ended up on assault charges for it.’

  ‘Bloody hell!’

  ‘He got a suspended sentence.’

  ‘That must have been tough.’

  ‘I nearly lost the plot. It took me months of therapy to get over it. I still take mild antidepressants.’

  ‘I never would have known.’

  ‘I don’t normally tell people. I’m telling you because I don’t want you to pretend you can cope with it all. Get help if you need it. Take it from someone who knows. But, while we’re on the topic, I’ve been wondering about that ex of yours, Ed. Any chance he could be behind it?’

  ‘You’re kidding, right? He’s a cop!’

  ‘Plenty of cops have had restraining orders on them. Just because they’re police doesn’t mean they’re not crazy.’

  ‘He didn’t even know I was in Adelaide.’

  ‘As far as you know.’

  ‘No, really, he was genuinely surprised to find out I was here. It’s not him. After all we’ve been through together I know him well enough to know he’d never hurt me.’

  ‘You still really love him?’

  I shook my head, not trusting myself to answer her.

  Claire read my look and switched to a safer topic. ‘Can I interest you in a piece of cake and a coffee?’

  ‘Cake, no, coffee, yes. That steak sandwich was enormous.’

  ‘I’m going to have a piece. I like their Toblerone cheesecake.’

  ‘Seriously? How do you do it? There’s no way I could eat like you do and stay slim. Tell me you’re not bulimic as well!’ It was meant as a joke, but halfway through saying it I suddenly wondered if there might not be some truth in it. Gran had a saying about things said in jest. My face must have shown my uncertainty because Claire took one look at me and started laughing.