Broken Elements (Elements, Book 1)

by Mia Marshall

  I shook my head. “That’s crazy. It couldn’t possibly have happened the way you remember it.” I closed the door behind me and walked away.

  Chapter 20

  I told the agents that I’d arranged for the pizza to be delivered and let them drive me home. I was silent the entire way, my mind desperately grasping for an explanation that made sense of what I’d just learned. I asked them to drop me at the top of the driveway, so no one in the house would have any warning that I’d returned. I had no idea what I was going to do, but I wanted time to figure it out.

  I walked quietly down the long driveway, alert the entire way, but it was silent. No one was out. A warm yellow glow lit the main house, and through the windows I could see Brian and Vivian lounging on a couple of oversized pillows, with Sera and Simon working in the kitchen. Deciding quickly, I skirted the house, crouching below windows and hoping the interior reflections would hide my presence from anyone who chose that moment to glance outside.

  A moment later, I was in the rear of the house, with Mac’s small trailer directly ahead of me. I could just make out the flicker of light coming from inside, and my breath escaped in a whoosh of relief. I tapped on the door, the barest scratch, but he heard and opened it. He looked annoyed at being disturbed, but that expression immediately turned into one of concern. “Aidan? What’s the matter?”

  “Can I come in?” I watched him hesitate for the barest of moments, then he nodded and moved out of the way, letting me into his home.

  Because of his reluctance, I wasn’t sure what I expected to find inside the trailer. A mess, certainly, or maybe a few items that prominently featured naked women. Instead, I found a warm and perfectly organized home. It was sparse, with few non-essential items, and it seemed as if half the trailer’s interior was taken up with one very large bed. I saw nothing to indicate any cause for embarrassment, but neither did I see much indication of Mac’s personality.

  He said nothing, letting me explain why I was there. We stood in the middle of the trailer, facing each other. I hadn’t thought about what I was going to say. So long as I remained quiet, I could pretend there was a reasonable explanation for what Rob had told me. I feared that, once spoken aloud, such excuses would sound flimsy against the undeniable truth of Brian’s betrayal.

  But Mac was waiting, and someone had to know. “I think Brian’s involved.”

  He grasped my meaning immediately. His entire body stiffened, his face smoothing into an expressionless mask. Only his eyes burned, a fire lit within, and his gaze sharpened on my face. “Explain.”

  I did, haltingly, hoping to find answers in the long pauses between my words. None appeared. My voice sounded unnaturally loud and clear in the silence of his home, but the words themselves offered no clarity. What I was saying was ludicrous. I finished telling him Rob’s story and waited for a response. None came. I’d glanced away while talking, finding it easier to speak without his eyes fixed on me, and only now did I look at him.

  Though his feet remained planted, his entire body was shaking, a low-level shudder that coursed through him. Even as I watched, his fingernails lengthened and receded, and his skin darkened. His immense shoulders contorted, hunching over, and muscles rotated under the skin, reforming themselves again and again, switching between an animal hunch and an upright, human stance.

  I didn’t want to be afraid. I had come to trust Mac, far more than I’d ever expected that morning long ago when I’d first seen him pitching furniture into the trees. But the anger I’d witnessed that morning was a faint shadow of what stood before me now. I could practically see the rage emanating from every pore. Tension scored each muscle and tendon. I wasn’t watching a shift. I was viewing a battle between man and beast, and there was no indication which would win.

  I was transfixed, immobile. I tried to contain the fear racing through me, worried it would only feed his lack of control. I watched his body transition back and forth and tried to view it objectively, as if I were taking a particularly graphic science class, but objectivity was hard to maintain as I watched claws capable of shredding an animal three times my size develop on Mac’s hands. Finally, overcome by the changes in his body and unable to view them without fear, I returned my gaze to his face. His five o’clock shadow was turning into a face full of dark fur, his ears reshaping and moving toward the back of his head. The man was slowly disappearing.

  Except for his eyes. Those eyes, the rich chocolate brown eyes that sent warmth shooting through my body every time they fixed on me, they were the same. No matter what was happening to the rest of his body, Mac’s eyes remained, and they were locked on my face.

  We stared at each other, and I let everything else fall away. My horror about Brian, my fears about the changing creature before me, they didn’t matter. I let the constancy of his gaze feed me, and I returned that stability to him. While the world spun out of control around us, and even our own bodies proved traitors, we grasped each other with our eyes and held on tightly.

  Hours passed. Moments passed. One breath at a time, I watched the beast withdraw. It was a slow, jagged process, the creature still angry and unwilling to be denied his release. The claws became fingernails, the fur tanned skin, the muscles undeniably human. Only the shudder remained, his body continuing to shake even as the rest came under control.

  I didn’t even think about it. One moment I was watching him, seeing Mac return to his own body, and the next I had my arms wrapped tight around him. His strength and size were overwhelming. Even so, I held him tightly, applying pressure wherever I felt him shiver, his body trembling against mine. I tried to bring him peace through pure force of will. Eventually, he stilled, and I felt his arms slowly wrap around me in turn. We stood like that, neither moving, for a long time. I didn’t know how to return to our previous conversation, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to.

  “Well, that was unexpected,” he whispered, a low laugh punctuating his words with relief.

  I moved backwards, reluctantly disengaging. “I take it that wasn’t a normal shift?”

  “No. When you turn into a half ton animal, it’s good to keep things under control. That… was not controlled.”

  “Was it your anger that made the difference?”

  “Anger?” He snorted. “Anger makes me go for a run or, at the worst, throw things that weren’t intended to be thrown. That was blind rage. I haven’t felt that in… well, it’s been a while.”

  I nodded. “I think you’re ahead of me. I haven’t made it to rage yet. I’m still in denial.”

  “Do you have any reason to believe this guy wasn’t telling the truth?”

  I shook my head. “Though he did look perma-stoned. His version of the truth may be a bit shakier than the real thing.”

  “Okay. Do you believe he somehow misinterpreted Brian’s request?”

  “He must have, right? I mean, it just doesn’t make sense. Except…” I paused. Mac said nothing, letting me finish the thought on my own. “Except he knew me, and he had details about that night. He was there. And if he somehow confused Brian’s request to, I don’t know, bring us pizza or something, then why didn’t Brian just explain that to me later?”

  “So, best case scenario, Brian was okay with scaring you half to death, and probably even arranged that. Which makes him a horrible person, but doesn’t necessarily make him a killer. Maybe he hoped you’d get so scared, you’d run directly into his arms and ask him to make babies with you.”

  It was a ridiculous suggestion, and I told him so.

  “You really don’t know, do you? Brian thinks you’re the bee’s knees. He likes you. All this time, I thought you were being deliberately obtuse, trying to preserve your friendship, but you really didn’t know, did you?”

  I shook my head, feeling nausea settle into my body. “How long have you thought this?”

  “Since he gave you a long kiss on the lips in the kitchen. What, that wasn’t a big enough sign for you?”

  “It was… Brian.” My friend
. My drinking buddy. My tormentor. “We almost got together years ago, but it was never serious. Just a few drunken kisses, and then he started dating Felicia. It’s not like that for us.”

  “Well, something’s changed, for him at least.”

  “Are we seriously saying that one of my best friends used these murders as an excuse to get in my pants?”

  Mac smiled without humor. “I think he wants more than what’s in your pants if he’s going to these lengths. Either that, or he’s actually one of the killers and was trying to convince us otherwise.”

  I shook my head. “That doesn’t make sense, though. He’s not strong enough. It takes him hours to make one of his ice roses.”

  “And there was a pretty impressive ice show that night, wasn’t there?”

  I nodded. It was more than Brian was capable of controlling. “What do we do?” I asked.

  “We ask him,” he said simply.

  “Damn you and your emotionally direct ways,” I muttered.

  He laughed, a low sound that felt almost tangible, as if I could wrap myself inside its warmth. Two strong hands cupped my cheeks, tilting my face toward him. “Hey, one of us has to say what we’re thinking.” Slowly, ever so slowly, he lowered his head toward me. When his lips were inches away, he paused, giving me time to pull away. I knew there were reasons I shouldn’t put myself in this position—I’d been reminding myself of them for weeks now—but at this particular moment I couldn’t remember a single one of them.

  My breath caught in my chest, and I angled my face toward his. That was all the permission he needed. A moment later, his lips were curled around mine, warm and soft and knowing. An involuntary moan escaped me instantly, and he responded by moving one hand to my back, holding me tight against him. Years of denial exploded in desperate need, and I clung to his shoulders. I was seconds from ripping the shirt from his back when a knock came at the door.

  Breathing ragged, we slowly separated, though he kept his hand firmly on my lower back.

  “Hey, Mac, is Aidan with you? She brought the car back, but the booze is locked in the trunk. We need the keys.” The voice was enough to extinguish the desire that had leapt between us. Before either of us responded, he repeated, “Mac?” and opened the door without waiting for a response.

  Brian stood framed in the doorway. He noted our proximity and flushed faces, the arm still wrapped around me, and his affable face turned ugly for a moment. The expression quickly disappeared, but I had seen the momentary lapse in his control. Something dark lived within Brian, and I wondered how long it had been there without my noticing.

  “There you are. We were wondering at the house if the agents had stolen you away. But, obviously, you are fine. So, okay. I’ll leave you alone.” He turned uncertainly and walked a few steps back to the house, then seemed to think better of it. He returned to the trailer in long, confident steps. “Actually, Aidan, could I speak to you for a second?”

  I felt Mac’s hand tighten and shrugged it off. Whatever Brian may have done in the woods, whatever darkness helped make decisions for him, I had to believe he wouldn’t hurt me. “It’s fine,” I whispered. “I need to do this, but I’ll come right back. Fifteen minutes, okay?” He wasn’t happy about it, but he finally managed one terse nod.

  I followed Brian toward the river, out of sight of Mac’s trailer and further from both Mac and the house than I was comfortable with. I stopped when he moved toward the denser trees of the forest. My trust, it turned out, now had limits. Around me, I could feel another storm building, the air thick and heavy. It was too warm to snow, but I could feel that the skies were preparing to split open and drench us all. I lightly reached out for a few drops of water, let their familiarity and power comfort me in preparation for the conversation I was about to have.

  He turned to face me, noting the several feet of distance I’d left between us. “Is everything okay?” he asked. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. “Good. That’s good. It’s just… I thought you said you and Mac weren’t going to happen, and for good reasons. And what I just walked in on didn’t look like nothing. I guess I’m confused. I want you to be happy, of course, but are you sure you’ve really thought this through?”

  His face was so earnest, his voice so sincere. I wanted to forget everything I’ve learned in the last hour. I didn’t want to believe this man could do anything to hurt me. But denial wasn’t an option, so I decided to try Mac’s unfamiliar strategy of emotional honesty. “Brian, are you jealous?”

  He looked at me intently, as if searching for the answer I wanted to hear. I don’t know what he found, but he finally shrugged and simply said, “Yes.”

  “Oh.” I had no idea how to respond to that. Perhaps I should have warmed up for this whole emotional honesty thing, done a few stretches first.

  “I’m not trying to make you feel uncomfortable here, Aidan. Yes, I like you. I liked you before you split ten years ago, and it turns out I still like you. You and I, we always got along so well. When I’m with you… it’s easy. You make me feel more like me, and I hadn’t realized how much that had been missing in my life until you returned. But I also didn’t expect anything to happen. I didn’t think you would want to jump into my arms right away, after being alone for so long. But I guess I didn’t expect you to jump into his arms, either.”

  His words were calm and reasonable. I conjured an image of the dark figure in the woods, reminding myself that we were still several miles away from reasonable. “I didn’t jump anywhere. It just happened. I think you’re giving me far too much credit for knowing what I’m doing, Brian.”

  He nodded. “I tried. I tried to tell you, especially when I saw the way he looked at you. I didn’t want to miss my chance again. But there was always this sadness surrounding you. It was worst when you first arrived, but it’s there even now. It’s never the right time.”

  He shrugged. In that moment he looked so sweet and vulnerable. His blue eyes were wide and guileless, and his words felt pure and honest. They were the sort of words a woman might long to hear, and a tiny part of me wished I could go to him, wrap my arms around him, and see if I felt any of the chemistry that came so easily to him. It would have been much easier than what I was about to do.

  I couldn’t give him what he wanted. This was partly due to the memory of chocolate brown eyes fixed on me, anchoring us together through chaos. It was partly because, as simple as it would have been, I knew I didn’t feel that way for Brian. And overriding all else was the story Rob had told me and the memory of Brian’s face in Mac’s doorway, momentarily twisted in anger. There were some things even I couldn’t deny.

  “Brian, why didn’t you tell me you asked Rob to scare me at the campsite?” I stated it as fact, refusing to provide room for denial. Maybe I could surprise him into an honest answer.

  “What?” His tone didn’t indicate shock or even surprise. It was hesitant and disbelieving. He sounded like a man stalling for time.

  “Oh, god. It’s true, isn’t it? You did do it. You deliberately tried to scare me.”

  “Aidan, it wasn’t like that.” He reached for me, a desperate attempt to keep me with him.

  I stepped back, repulsed. “Why? Why would you ever think that’s a sane thing to do? Was it like Mac said—were you hoping I would turn to you if I was scared enough? What kind of messed-up mind comes up with a plan like that?”

  The darkness I’d glimpsed earlier returned, but this time, it wasn’t a mere flash instantly smoothed over by Brian’s handsome features. It crawled across his face, turning his eyes into cold crystals, sharpening his cheekbones, and thinning his lips. Color rose into his face, producing two red circles on his cheeks. His forehead creased, and his nostrils flared as he took several slow, long breaths. In a way, it reminded me of Mac’s slow battle for control, but uglier and with less humanity. Brian attempted to calm down, fighting the anger that had appeared with no warning. Unlike Mac, he lost the battle.

  “I told you it wasn’t like that,�
� he hissed. “Are you actually going to listen to him over me? You’ve known him for what, weeks? I’ve been your friend for years, Aidan. Years. And you’re going to throw it away because some oversized animal wants to get between your legs?” His nasty words were punctuated by a lightning bolt cracking across the dark sky, the storm I’d felt beginning to break. The turbulent weather seemed to match my mood.

  My mind stumbled over possible replies, horrified by his crudeness and the hateful way he’d referred to Mac. It echoed the disdainful prejudice of the old ones, and was a tone I’d never thought to hear from a friend. “You… what happens between my legs is none of your business. None. And believe me when I say, Brian, that it never will be.” My voice rose as I spoke, but was drowned out by the roll of thunder. The storm was still miles away, but I could feel it moving toward us.

  “You refused to see! You talked about how broken you were, but you wouldn’t even look at me. I’m the one that can fix you! Maybe, I thought, maybe if you felt like you escaped death, you would have clarity. You would see, just long enough to see me, Aidan. Who I am. We were meant to be together. It has to be you and me. It has to!” The impassioned words burst from him, unplanned, and some small fragment of memory stirred to life. I tried to follow it, but I couldn’t risk diverting my attention from Brian, and the thought slipped away.

  His face gleamed in the moonlight, fanatical and determined. He stepped toward me, and I immediately retreated, needing to keep distance between us. The man who moved toward me might look the same as the man I’d called friend for years, but someone altogether different inhabited his body at the moment, someone wholly unfamiliar and dangerous. Even as his eyes pled with me to understand, the desperation that shone through showed no connection to sanity. Brian had come unhinged as I watched.