by C. B. Haight
While thinking these things over in her head, Collett thought about things you do in the snow. Snowmen, snowball fights, snow angels.
She smiled. Juliet had loved to lie in the snow moving her arms and legs to make an angel…wait Juliet? Her sister. Her sister Juliet. I have a sister! Collett remembered. Splotchy images flashed through her, pictures of Juliet in the cold winter, giggling while she made the perfect angel. Collett could remember, “Juliet!” she cried out.
Her orange juice slipped from her fingers to fall to the floor. Collett barely noticed as the glass shattered when it struck the tile, splattering the remaining juice.
On the stairway, Cade heard her shout, then a sound of breaking glass. He rushed down the stairs into the kitchen. When Cade came into the room, his panic ebbed slightly. He saw her there standing in the middle of broken glass and juice. It had splattered all over her jeans around the ankles.
He asked quickly, “What is it Collett? What’s wrong? Are you ok?” He went over to her intending to help with the broken glass. He didn’t get that far. She met him halfway, throwing herself in his arms with excitement, almost knocking him over.
Collett didn’t even think about what she was doing as she launched into his arms. He caught her accepting the hug even though he remained confused. It was the first time she willingly came to him.
He wrapped his arms around her, enjoying the feel of her. After Cade’s surprise passed, he risked pulling her back. There she stood before him with an excited smile stretching across her pretty face. Seeing the light and happiness in her eyes nearly undid him. Finally, he croaked out, “What’s going on?”
“I remember her! I remember Juliet,” she rambled excitedly.
Because she was practically jumping out of her own skin from the excitement, it took Cade a second to decipher what she said.
Still trying to sort this out, but loving how thrilled she looked, he prodded happily, “Who is Juliet?”
Collett blurted out quickly, “She was my sister! I remembered my sister.” She jumped forward and hugged him again. “I was looking out at the snow, and then it just popped in my head. I was watching her play in the snow. She was laughing while she made an angel. My sister, my sweet Juliet. She was like an angel.”
Cade stayed silent letting her work through her vague memories. He rubbed his hand up and down her back.
Thinking hard and crinkling the bridge of her nose, she replayed the image. “It was so cold, I remember the cold now. I was there with her. Juliet, had long, dark hair, it used to be so tangled. She had little freckles across her nose and cheeks. They were like angel kisses. Her eyes were like melted chocolate, and glittered when she was happy. I remember her that day. I remember her laugh. She had such a pretty laugh.”
His happy feeling turned grim. Cade didn’t think Collett noticed she was using the past tense when she spoke of Juliet. He noticed… he was sure he knew what it meant, but was unwilling to say it. Knowing he needed to keep the memory fresh he asked, “What else do you remember? The place, do you know where you were? Were there people there?”
Collett didn’t hear him. Her face pulled tight, “Why can I only remember her face as a little girl? I can only remember that day, that one moment. I can see her face now. I can see the freckles, and her cold, pink cheeks. Her dress was too small for her, and it was tattered. Her fingers were red from the cold. We didn‘t have any gloves.”
Collett stopped then, realizing something wasn’t right here. Her head starting pounding, the pain originated right behind her eyes. Using her finger to knead at her temples, Collett kept trying to push the memory through, forcing the confusing image to the front of her mind. “Her dress, there was something wrong with Juliet’s dress,” she whispered. “Why can’t I remember more? I need to know more!” she voiced defiantly.
Instead of clearing, the memory started fading away. The pain of her throbbing skull was making what was once a clear image start to blur. Maybe I’m wrong, she thought. Maybe it was something else I remembered.
Cade noticed the change in Collett right away. She wore all her emotions on her beautifully expressive face. He wrapped his arms around her and said, “Don’t get discouraged. It will come. Remembering someone like a sister is a big thing. Give it time. I have faith you’ll figure it out.”
Collett looked out the window as he held her and said, “I want to remember her, Cade. I want my life back.”
“I know. We’ll get there. It’s going to take time. They say Rome wasn’t built in a day. Remember what you can, the rest will come.”
Cade pulled back putting his hands on her shoulders and looking into her sad eyes. “Come on then, let’s get some aspirin for your headache," he suggested. "Then I’ll take you to your room. After a short nap, you’ll feel much better.”
“How did you know… never mind.” Her look turned pleading, “I have to find out if she is real, Cade. I need to know if I really did remember. I need to find her.”
“We’ll figure it out together, Collett.” He promised, “Whatever happens, whatever you remember; we will figure this out. I swear it to you. You were beginning to believe, don’t let go of that. You have taken a very big step, whether you believe it or not. Now we know you can remember. Come on then, once you lie down you’ll feel better. Give yourself a break.”
Collett nodded numbly and let him escort her to her room. She prayed Cade was right, and she could remember. She wanted so desperately to remember. She was extremely tired of not knowing. When Collett first remembered Juliet, she was ecstatic. Now the image seemed wrong to her. Something was very off about Juliet’s clothes and the building behind her. It was more than that. Collett felt pain in her chest when she thought of her sister. She felt like she was going crazy.
As they walked up the stairs, Collett wondered if she was beginning to make things up subconsciously out of a desperate need to know. Either way Collett reasoned, it didn’t feel right.
****
Cade called the office to fill Rederrick and Cynda in on this morning’s event. After hanging up, Cynda left Rederrick to handle things. She wanted to be there to help Collett coax free her memory further. When Cynda arrived, she went looking for Cade.
Finding him in the den, Cynda moved to him with purpose, “Where is she?”
Cade looked up from where he sat in the dark-brown, leather chair. Her entrance tore him from his deep focus on the laptop screen sitting on top of the desk. Over the past hour, Cade had been going over missing person reports from the last two years. He had a friend forward them to him a couple of days ago. It was horrifying to him how many people had gone missing in such a short time.
He managed to narrow the list some by looking for females between the ages of 23 to 28 years old. Cade was sure Collett couldn’t be any older than 26, but he thought it best to be as thorough as possible. Even considering those, the size of the list still made him sad.
Stretching his stiff neck Cade answered, “She’s upstairs napping.” As Cynda turned to leave, Cade stopped her saying cautiously, “Cynda there is something you should know.”
Turning around Cynda furrowed her eyebrows wondering what Cade left out on the phone. “What?”
“I think her sister is dead.” He bluntly stated.
“Why would you think that?”
Cade stood from the chair he occupied, walked around to the front of the desk, and stopping next to Cynda explained his theory, “Collett didn’t realize it at the time, but she talked of this Juliet in the past tense, several times. Plus she got really upset and frustrated when she couldn’t picture an older, adult version of her sister. She took on a sad, lost look.”
Cynda leaned against the desk next to Cade, thinking about what he was telling her. Doubt clouded her voice, “You could be wrong, maybe it was just because it was a past memory.”
With some anger in his tone, Cade shot back, “Then where are they? Tell me, why haven’t they been looking for her? I have been through so many reports it mak
es me sick, yet I have not found one that matches her. Not one.”
Cynda offered him a sympathetic expression, “You of all people know, that just because you have relatives, doesn’t mean you have family.”
Cade brought his hand up to the back of his neck rubbing away the tight stiffness. Her remark hit home. Still he felt strongly, from the way Collett reacted, her sister had most likely passed on. He didn’t like the idea any more than Cynda.
Huffing out a heavy breath Cade continued, “It’s just a guess, and I think, if I’m right, we should let her come to terms with it on her own. When she does, I think it will be a hard blow.”
Dipping her head, and looking at her hands, Cynda agreed with him. “It will be like losing her all over again. This is not a good way to start recovering her memories.”
“I don’t like this anymore than you,” Cade said solemnly. “If you take the optimistic path though, she did remember something. According to Collett, it’s the first memory she has had in two years. No matter what happens, it’s a start. Now we need to figure out how we help her keep remembering, even if it does become painful.”
Straightening her frame, Cynda patted Cade on the arm. With an encouraging smile on her face, she said, “We just need to be there for her, Cade. We just simply be there. Now, if you’ll excuse me… I think I’ll go upstairs and do exactly that.” With that declaration, Cynda sauntered off.
Knowing Cynda was right, Cade turned and headed back to the reports he had been going through earlier. Hoping for a little luck, he searched through each case carefully, searching for a link, something, anything similar to Collett’s story. An hour later he gave up on the files and moved to the bio Rederrick had compiled on Collett. When you can’t remember something, it was always a good idea to retrace your steps, he mused.
Chapter Fifteen
Cynda didn’t bother knocking. She didn’t want to wake Collett if she was sleeping. She opened the door slightly to peek in and saw Collett was awake. Her eyes were staring straight up at the ceiling. She was lying on her back, with her hands folded and placed on her stomach. Collett looked to be deep in thought, so Cynda moved to close the door.
Seeing the movement out of the corner of her eye Collett stopped her, “It’s alright… you can come in.”
Startled some by Collett’s smooth voice Cynda came in the room and quietly closed the door behind her. “I thought you’d be sleeping,” she said.
“I’m not really tired. My head hurts a bit, so I was just resting.” She sat up and brought her legs over the edge of the bed.
“Cade called,” Cynda declared.
Collett smiled, “I know. I figured he would.”
Not sure what she should say, Cynda sat on the side of the bed next to Collett, just waiting silently with her until she was ready to discuss what happened.
“I’m not sure that what I saw was real, not anymore. How could it be real?” Collett asked, thinking aloud.
Cynda put her arm around Collett and squeezed her shoulder slightly. Trying to offer reassurance she asked, “Did it feel real?”
With emotion in her voice, Collett answered, “Yes. It felt very real. I felt so much at once…excitement, love, and happiness. They all came from one small flash.”
“Why then, is it hard to believe it?” Cynda questioned.
Collett tried explaining her impressions, “I saw her, Juliet, I mean. She was so young.” She couldn’t help smiling as she recalled the flashed memory, “She had a cute little pixie face. Freckles brushed across her nose and cheeks, and she had pretty little heart-shaped lips. She was smiling, and she looked so happy.”
Standing Collett paced, “That is all I see. This happy little girl, giggling as she moved her arms up and down in the snow making the image of an angel.”
Cynda believed it was real. It sounded too vivid to be imagined. Cynda also noticed the same thing Cade had before, the sad sound in Collett’s voice, and the use of the past tense. Damn, Cade was probably right, she thought to herself. “That sounds like a beautiful moment. It is a wonderful first memory.”
Nodding in agreement, Collett went on, “I thought so, too. I was so happy and excited. Then there was this unexpected, sad feeling in me. It was so strong. I tried to focus more on the quick flash. I started to notice other things, too. It had to be made up. It couldn’t be real. It was her clothes. There was something wrong with them. I sat here for a long time trying to reason through it. None of it makes sense.” She stated, starting to bite at her thumbnail.
“Collett what didn’t make sense? What was wrong with, Juliet, was it? What was wrong with her clothes?”
“They were old, Cynda, not just old, they were really old.” At Cynda’s puzzled expression, Collett sighed again and then spit it out. “She wore a tattered frock or something. Some sort of dress, a very old dress. She didn’t have on a modern coat or gloves, just a dingy brown cape, like a cloak, and a sort of bonnet. It was all she wore to keep the cold away. Her hands were red from the cold. Her little button nose to. Now, tell me how could that be real? It just can’t be. I must be remembering a story I read or a movie I saw. It’s just not possible”
“Do you believe that it’s true?” Cynda asked seriously.
Throwing up her hands in exasperation Collett replied, “I don’t know what to believe anymore. I do know I am not old enough to have a sister who wore those kinds of clothes. At the very same time, I feel strongly that I saw my sister. Even her name, I know her name, Juliet! I can remember her face, her sweet pixie like face. She felt so real. In my heart, it was real.” Collett’s voice cracked, “Yet when I concentrate harder, trying to see more, my head feels like it is going to split in two.” She took a heavy breath. “I feel so lost. How can it feel so right and be so wrong? Be so clear, yet so foggy at the same time? I’m not really sure of anything anymore.”
Cynda sat still and quiet, thinking over this new information, considering the possibilities, and truth be told, there were many. She had a quick thought of Selena again. She was not sure what to tell Collett. She had a few ideas but was sure this was not the time. She wanted to talk to Cade first, and find out what Selena could see. Cynda also wanted to do a little research of her own.
Therefore, Cynda decided to keep her advice vague, “Collett, don’t focus so much on the clothing… that will come later, just focus on Juliet. Think about the feelings and impressions you get from seeing her face. I really think you’ll figure it all out. This is a great start. Cade is right. This shows us you can remember.”
Collett’s shoulders drooped as she walked back to the soft bed and sitting down she said with a defeated voice, “Maybe you’re right. Perhaps I’ll be able to explain it later when I remember more.”
With an encouraging note in her voice, Cynda agreed, “You will. I do think we could try something new. I have a friend who I think you should meet. Her name is Selena.”
“Why? You think she can help?” Collett asked skeptically.
“Actually, I do. She has the gift of reading people. Sometimes she can get a sense of the past and future. Would you be willing to give it a try?” Cynda asked hopefully.
Deciding it couldn’t hurt, Collett agreed. “Alright, I’ll give it a try. I guess right now anything is better than nothing.”
“Okay. I’ll go give her a call. I’ll try to get her out here tomorrow. I think it would be best if we can all be there with you. Tomorrow is Saturday so it will be much easier for all of us.” Standing, Cynda went to the door.
As she reached for the brass handle, Collett asked, “How is it, you can always make me feel better?”
Turning with a bright smile on her perfect lips, Cynda said, “Because once, long ago I gave up hoping. Then someone very special helped me find it again. It’s hope, in ourselves and in others, that keeps us going. Having a strong belief that it can, and will get better, and having faith that it is all worth it, can make it all okay. Without that, there would be no point in fighting.”
&nb
sp; Collett thought for a minute, “Who?”
“Who, what?” Cynda questioned, slightly confused.
“Who taught you how to find it? Hope, I mean.”
“Oh, I think that’s a story for another day. I’ll see you at dinner,” and with that, Cynda left Collett to her thoughts.
****
Later that night, Collett sat down to a wonderful dinner of Jenny’s homemade beef stew and breadsticks. Everyone was there. Cynda sat next to Rederrick and Cade sat on his other side, putting Collett right between Cade and Cynda. Jenny had refused to join them saying she had other things to tend to, and Nate kept an eye on the security screens Rederrick had shown her a couple of days ago.
As Collett swallowed another healthy bite, she enjoyed the warm feeling from the stew, inside and out. It felt like the perfect meal to go with the cold, snowy day. She felt much better now, especially surrounded by her new friends.
Maybe it was crazy, but ever since Cynda had told her the theory on her empathic abilities, Collett felt more attuned to the feelings surrounding her. On the other hand, maybe it was simply that now, Collett had people who cared about her, and she felt it inside herself. Either way, it was a wonderful thing.
When Rederrick finished filling Cynda in on the rest of his day at the office, he turned his attention to Collett, “Cynda tells me Selena is coming by tomorrow,” he offered kindly.
Collett nodded her head, “That’s what she tells me, too.”
Cade smiled, “Don’t worry. You’ll like her. Selena has a very gentle nature. She might be able to help.”
“Have you ever had her help?” She asked.
Cade looked directly into Collett’s blue eyes, “Yes, once, about seven years ago, I asked for her help. Unfortunately, she couldn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know.”
“What about you, Rederrick, has Selena ever helped you?” Collett asked as she reluctantly tore her gaze from Cade.