by C. B. Haight
“No, not her, but her mother did. Her mother helped me find what I truly wanted about 30 years ago.”
Considering his words she asked, “What was it you wanted?”
“Why me, of course,” answered Cynda ruefully.
Then Rederrick took Cynda’s hand and kissing it agreed, “That’s the truth of it. She didn’t steer me wrong.”
“Does she tell you what to do then, what you need to do?” Collett asked curious now.
“No… it is more like she can tell you a destination and you can choose the road to get you there.” Cade explained. “Depending on the road you take, the destination might be closed to you. It is somewhat cryptic and confusing at the time she sees you, but eventually it makes sense. Sometimes she can get a sense on past experiences as well, to provide insight.”
“It’s a stepping stone, Collett,” Cynda supplied. “Everyone I know who has received advice or insight from her has learned something from it. Just a little guidance, that’s all.”
Thinking as she took another bite of stew, Collett considered what she would possibly learn tomorrow. She was a little afraid of what would happen after tomorrow. Who was she? What would they all think of her when they knew? And as she thought about it, her nervous stomach twisted itself into tight knots. She looked down to her warm, delicious stew and could not stomach another bite. The warmth of her mood dissipated.
Cade took her mind from her worried ponderings, “On a different topic,” he said “I think we should all be working on self-defense techniques. To be prepared if we’re attacked, we need to know how to work as a team. Collett, for instance would be the most vulnerable in a fight. We know she would be their prime target. Therefore, I feel it necessary we each work with her in turns. Help her. She needs to be familiar with each of our skills and we can help her work on hers. I’ve spoken with Nate, and he has agreed to spend some time with her on military tactics as well. Learning to use a gun will be first on that list.”
“Agreed, I can set aside time tomorrow after Selena leaves,” Offered Rederrick. “I’ll take her to the extra room to show her around, and review exit strategies in case of an in-home breach.
Collett looked from one man to the next as they spoke, acting as if she wasn’t even present. Then Cynda added happily, “That’s a great idea. I’ll take her upstairs and show her some of my works. Maybe we can see if Collett is able to use magic. I’ll bet she can, with a little help and practice.”
Her mood quickly began shifting to annoyance “Um….” She began.
Cade cut Collett off as if he didn’t hear her, “I’ll take the physical training since it is my area of expertise. If she intends to hold off anything worth their salt, she’s going to need to work hard at it. We don’t have much time before they’ll get tired of waiting for her to come out.”
With a piercing glare and temper in her voice, Collett blurted out, “You all know I am in this room right. Don’t you think I should get an opinion here?”
“Not if you want to stay alive. We’re trying to do what is best for you,” Cade replied.
Across the table Cynda gave Cade a warning glace. He didn’t notice.
Collett stared right back at him, seething now. How dare he tell her what’s best in that egoistical tone. “You know, I’ve managed to stay alive all this time without you planning my every move!” she retorted snidely.
“Really! How was it you did that again? Oh yeah, that’s right… you ran. Besides that, if you count last Saturday and Sunday, you really haven’t stayed alive all on your own,” Cade stated sarcastically.
Collett felt somewhat humbled by his on-the-mark words, but she was unwilling to concede to his point of view so easily, as a matter of pride.
She groused, “Fine. I’ll do it your way for now, but do not make the mistake of talking about me as if I wasn’t here again. I may not remember who I am, but do not underestimate me! I’m just as strong and as resourceful as any of you.” Finished ranting, she rose from her chair and left the room with an indignant attitude heading upstairs with purpose.
Now how did that happen? Cade thought to himself as he ran his fingers though his hair in an aggravated gesture. Cade looked to Cynda and Rederrick for advice on how to handle this. Rederrick just stared back with a goofy knowing grin, and Cynda’s womanly features pinched with a worried expression.
“Damn!” Cade barked. Throwing his napkin on the table, he abruptly rose from his chair to follow Collett.
When Cade got to the top of the stairs, he heard Collett moving to the workout room. Cade stopped for a moment, trying to decide what he would say to her.
Then he heard it the sound of Collett violently punching or kicking the heavy bag, he leaped up the stairs quickly.
When he got to the doorway of the workout room, Cade stopped and watched as Collett ferociously threw herself at the heavy black bag, vigorously punching it over and over again. He waited and watched as her arms tired and her punches lost their strength. She gave her invisible enemy one last violent kick… then suddenly lost all her fight. Leaning her forehead against the heavy bag, Collett began to sob.
Unsure what he should do, he hesitated. She was unaware of his intruding presence, but he could see Collett’s shoulders shake. He could hear her muffled squeaks and hiccups. Finally, he made his decision. He couldn’t bear to watch her like this.
Cade moved to her slowly. He carefully put his hand on her back, hoping she wouldn‘t turn around and deck him for the effort. He was relieved and surprised, when without needing any further encouragement Collett turned into him, laying her head on his chest, while Cade enveloped her with his arms.
He brought his hand to her hair, softly stroking her soft golden locks, repeatedly whispering reassuring words. “It will be alright. I’m sorry. Just let it out.” He felt a horrible guilt for bringing her to this point, knowing he had pushed too hard.
Collett stayed there in his warm, comforting embrace for a long time. She cried and sniffled for so long she wasn’t sure it would ever stop. After a time, her last tear fell down her face, and the final hiccupping mumble passed. Feeling drained and tired, with puffy, red, swollen eyes, she lifted her eyes to meet Cade’s. His expression was so full of worry and guilt. It almost made her smile. She could tell he blamed himself for her temper-tantrum.
She sniffed, and then looked at Cade’s now soaked t-shirt, "I ruined your shirt.”
Looking down and giving her a half-hearted smile, Cade responded kindly, “I have more. Honestly, I have a lot more. I ruin them all too often myself.”
She felt terrible now for her outburst. Cade was only trying to help her, and she kept fighting him the whole way. It was so hard for her to let go and put all her trust in other people. Surrendering your life to someone else’s care was not an easy thing to do.
Untangling herself from Cade, Collett took one-step back, effectively giving her a safe distance from him. She liked the way it felt having Cade hold her all too much.
Well, I suppose I can eat crow as well as the next person, she told herself. Straightening up she offered her apology, “Cade, I am sorry for earlier. It is very difficult for me to let go of all my control. I know you’re trying…trying to help me. And I know I haven’t really given you a reason to believe I’m grateful, but I am. I’ll try harder to remember you’re just trying to keep me safe and try to keep my emotional instability to a minimum.”
He smiled, but half-heartedly. He came up here intending to apologize to her, believing this was mostly his fault. Cade knew they would need to come to an understanding so there were no further frustrations, but he couldn’t let her take all the blame, either. He had acted like a jerk downstairs. He understood that this fierce protectiveness he felt for Collett, made him tense and edgy.
“Collett, I could have handled things better, a lot better. I apologize; I should have talked to you regarding my thoughts and ideas. You’re right; you are a strong, capable woman. I only want to make you stronger… I just want to
keep you safe,” he admitted.
Cade stopped for a moment running his hand though his hair again in his common nervous way. Then he hedged on, “I think, no, make that, I know you can do this. Beat this. I just want to help you do it. Give you the best possible chance.”
Collett saw the pained look in his soft, golden eyes. He was hurt. Cade believed he was the cause of her tears. From his wounded expression, she was now sure Cade was, just as Jenny stated several days previous, the most selfless man she knew. She considered each of his actions in a new light.
Cade was willing to take the blame for her outburst, and he was willing to teach her how to stay alive regardless of her poor attitude and snide comments. He was willing to risk his life to protect her, without as much as a second thought about it. Collett wondered then, how many other people had Cade so selflessly helped.
At that very moment, Collett knew that without a single doubt, she would trust this man with her life. Cade would do whatever it took to help her. She knew she would follow him blindly, she understood now that Cade would never do anything to hurt her. Trusting in someone so fully was something Collett was sure she had never done before.
This astounding revelation came with one more that was even more complex… she was beginning to have strong feelings for Cade.
Humbled and full of conflicting feelings, it took Collett a moment to respond to him. “Cade, you have no reason to be sorry. I have been fighting you at every turn. When you,” she paused, “You’ve been trying to help me. I can see that now. From now on, I’ll try to listen to you, without rebuking your every effort.” Then trying to reassure him, she said sheepishly and somewhat embarrassed, “It wasn’t your fault I was upset.” She hesitated once more, not wanting to admit her weakness. Cade stayed silent giving her the time she needed. “I mean, that little breakdown was a long time in coming. I’ve been holding all of this in for two years now. It was bound to come out eventually.”
Cade nodded accepting the truce between them, “I’ll try harder to consider your opinions then.”
She smiled slightly, “Thank you. Not just for that, but for all your help. You are a good man, Cade. If only there were more men in the world like you. We would all be better off.”
With her last words, Collett felt a sudden sadness wash over her, and as quick as it came, it was gone. It came from Cade. She saw Cade’s expression falter before he quickly recovered, covering it with a less than sincere smile. Then he simply said, “Yeah. Sure.”
“Is everything alright?” she asked.
Cade reassured her with, “Yeah. Fine. Now that you’re alright, I better go relieve Nate from patrol so he can get something to eat. I’ll catch up with you later.”
The wash of sadness she had felt was covered up so quickly, she wasn’t even sure it was real until she saw his quick frown. Even though he tried to reassure her that he was fine, he didn’t smile. Deep in his golden eyes she had seen the hurt.
She nodded, baffled by his quick reaction. Collett didn’t believe he was fine. Not for one minute. As he turned and left the room, she stood there thinking. Was it something I said?
Curious, Collett headed downstairs to seek out Cynda. She decided after she made her apologies to Cynda for her earlier outburst, she could ask some questions about Cade‘s odd behavior.
When she got to the bottom of the main staircase, Collett heard Rederrick on the phone in the den. Swallowing her pride, she decided to talk to him first. She moved to the open doorway and stood there patiently waiting for Rederrick to finish his call.
Rederrick saw Collett right away, waving his hand, he gestured for her to come in. She walked quietly into the room and couldn’t help listening to his end of the conversation.
He sat silent for a moment, then said, “I’m glad to hear it kid. I’ll let Cade know you’ll be here on Sunday. Truthfully, I’m sure Nate will be relieved. He’s been pulling some pretty long shifts.” Silence, then, “No, you know you can stay here… Yeah that’ll be fine… So we’ll see you Sunday.” He promptly hung up then looked to her.
Collett quickly apologized, “Sorry I hope I’m not bothering you.”
Rederrick smiled, “Nonsense, now what can I do for you?”
“You can let me apologize for my little temper tantrum.” She replied.
“Ha, temper tantrum? Obviously, you have never seen Cynda mad. She would give you a serious run for your money,” he quipped.
“All the same, I am sorry,” she replied with a smile.
He looked at her with his steel-gray eyes and a deep, sincere smile, “Say no more about it, all is forgiven. Besides it’s good to see you have a good dose of fight in you. You’re gonna need it.”
Not wanting to speak of what was coming for her anymore tonight, Collett changed the subject, “Who’s coming on Sunday?” she asked politely.
“Oh, Cody,” he answered. “He’ll be an extra hand on security for a while.”
“Ah,” she said.
Rederrick could tell there was more to her visit than small talk. “What’s on your mind, Collett?”
“Well, I was just wondering. How long have you known Cade?” she hedged.
“I can’t ever remember not knowing him. Why do you ask?”
Collett felt somewhat awkward, “I just was curious that’s all….” She waited a couple heartbeats then blurted out the truth. “I just want to know how I upset him a little while ago.”
Rederrick’s face turned serious. “How do you know that you did?” he questioned.
“I think I felt it,” Collett carefully replied.
“Okay, why don’t you sit down and tell me what happened.” Rederrick said, not even doubting Collett’s statement. He was completely accepting of her possible empathic abilities.
Sitting in one of the two chairs across from Rederrick, Collett recounted their conversation. She carefully neglected to tell Rederrick about her sobbing all over Cade’s shirt. When she finished, Collett waited nervously for his opinion, hoping he could shed some light on the subject.
He scrutinized her with his hands folded together atop the desk, thinking over all Collett told him. Rederrick wasn’t entirely sure he could explain. He was quiet for a moment then told her, “I can’t really answer this question, Collett.”
Right away Collett could see Rederrick knew something. She could tell he held back, so she called him on it, “Can’t or won’t?”
“Alright, a little of both, but I can tell you that it wasn’t you that upset him,” he said. The truth was he wanted to share more, but Rederrick knew it was not his place.
Collett huffed out an annoyed breath, “Fine, just tell what I can do to avoid it in the future.”
Rederrick answered sincerely, “You know Collett, everybody has demons, even Cade. Nothing you can do or say will change that for him. One day he’ll either face his demon or come to terms with it. Either way, I have faith he’ll come through it.”
Even more confused now, Collett stood, “Alright I get it. It’s personal. I would like to say one more thing to you. The three of you here have taught me one very important thing over this last week. Nobody should have to face their demons alone, especially Cade. Without so much as blinking an eye to the risk, Cade is ready and willing to face my demons for me. So when the time comes, if I live though this, I will do the same. I’ll face his demons with him.”
As she left, Collett failed to notice the broad smile that had spread across Rederrick’s face, highlighting the laugh lines at the corner of his mouth, and the twinkle in his eyes. All Rederrick could think when she left was; it’s about time. For years, for so many decades, Cade had always stood up for others. Sacrificed, anything he could, to protect anyone he could. Selflessly pitting himself against everyone else’s enemies, and now for the very first time since Rederrick had known him, someone else was willing to do the same for Cade.
“Yes, it’s about damn time,” he voiced aloud.
Chapter Sixteen
As Cade showered
the next morning, he thought to himself about what today might bring. Today, they might learn something about who Collett is. What then? He thought. After all, when this was over what would Collett do? Would she stay here?
Not that it truly mattered if she did. Cade didn’t live here, didn’t live anywhere really. He always jumped around from place to place, going where he was most needed. Cade kept a place in the mountains, not far from here that few people knew of, but he was rarely there these days. He was always busy with Brotherhood business. The Faction’s furious actions lately, barely gave him time to rest at all.
Cade considered that for a little while. Maybe he should start thinking about finding a place he could stay for a while. Then he jolted back to reality. He remembered why he couldn’t. Permanence was an impossibility when you lived forever. People tended to ask questions when their neighbor didn’t age.
No, Cade would never have a normal life. He would just continue what he was doing, staying as long as he could before moving to his next project. Helping others gave him purpose. If Cade didn’t have his work, he wouldn’t have much at all.
Cade hated admitting it to himself, but he was getting tired of being alone. After you pass one hundred, the loneliness wears on you. After nearly three-hundred years it only got worse. Maybe that’s why he felt so strongly about Collett. He considered that thought more seriously. Perhaps, his need for a connection was driving him to this? No, he quickly admonished, his feelings for Collett didn’t feel false, and he refused to justify them in such a way.
Quickly drying off, Cade entered his room to get dressed. He walked over to the large king-sized bed to retrieve the jeans he had laid there earlier. As he did, Cade looked around. This room had a masculine atmosphere that suited him. Years ago, when Cynda and Rederrick had built this house, they had included this room for Cade. He stayed here as often as he could. Here, Cade felt the most at home.
All the furniture was a sleek, dark cherry wood. Because of his height, they had furnished it with a large, king-sized bed. A beautifully carved armoire sat in the right corner, and a matching six-drawer dresser was on the left wall facing the bed. The room had its own balcony on the other side of two French doors. The very same balcony Cade had used the other night to sneak into the house. The colors were dark green tones mixed with light neutral tans.