Coleen: Forever (Waking Forever Series Book 5)

by Heather McVea

  Though Gamil-Sin was a handsome man, Kullaa could only tolerate the cursory bedroom duties of her marriage contract by imagining the touch of Gula against her skin. Her husband’s rough hands became the soft caress of her lover, his musky scent, the lilac of Gula’s perfume.

  Finally, Gamil-Sin rolled to Kullaa’s side, a thin film of sweat covering his body. After a few seconds, he got up, and began getting dressed. “Ensure our house is in order. I want our exit from the palace seamless and dignified.”

  Kullaa sat on the edge of the bed. Shala appeared, draped a silk robe over Kullaa’s shoulders, and then disappeared again. “Don’t worry, husband. Your mother and I have everything in order.”

  Weeks later, everything was in order for their departure, but sitting in the garden, Kullaa could not quiet the dread in her heart. She feared the Assyrian retribution if her husband failed to adhere to the rules of his exile. Gamil-Sin cared very little for the fate of others, but only for his duty to the kingdom and his reputation.

  ***

  Kullaa floated on her back in the shallow stone tub near her bedroom, her long brown hair fanned out around her head. Only able to hear the sound of her own breathing and heartbeat, Kullaa’s mind wandered back over the past three months since she had arrived in Ur.

  The city itself was not that different from Babylon. The five story ascending temple looked like a golden and ivory covered mountain rising from the center of Ur. The streets of the city were narrow and littered with filth. Kullaa had learned quickly that if the house needed provisions she had to send Shala out early to the markets; otherwise, the heat of the day drove the merchants back inside.

  Gamil-Sin spent most days at the temple, his desire to return to the throne his only priority. He mingled with the local politicians and priests, seeking out those who sympathized with his cause to end Assyrian rule in the empire.

  Kullaa couldn’t be bothered with such details. She enjoyed her days with Gamil and Gula in the small garden they had been fostering since arriving. The narrow patch of earth with its two fig trees and sparse grass paled in comparison to their Babylon garden, but it gave the three a way to pass the hours of the day.

  “You’re mother-in-law has requested that you join her at temple.” Shala stood looking down at Kullaa as she continued to float in the bath.

  Sitting up in the tub, Kullaa ran her hands over her hair, wiping the excess water away. “Can you please get me my robe?” Kullaa stood, and stepped up out of the tub. Her lean body glistened as the water cascaded off her.

  Shala, keeping her eyes averted, handed Kullaa a thick robe, and then stepped back. “Shall I ready your clothes?”

  Kullaa tied the sash of her robe, and nodded. “Yes.” Shala had always tended toward modesty, but since they had arrived in Ur, her servant could scarcely make eye contact with her, and never when Kullaa was naked.

  “Shala, how do you like the new house?” Kullaa watched as her servant laid a beige linen robe and undergarments out on the bed.

  “I like it fine.” Shala turned to leave, but was stopped when Kullaa took her hand.

  “We have known each other our entire lives. I can tell when you are lying.” Kullaa spoke the words softly, but firmly enough that Shala knew she expected the truth.

  Shala looked up. “I miss Babylon, and I had friends there – outside the house, that I miss.”

  Kullaa nodded, and stood up, taking Shala’s other hand in hers. “There is less to do here. You should take time and go out into the city, visit the temple more.”

  Shala nodded. “Thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me, just do it – for your own peace of mind.” Kullaa squeezed the woman’s hands, and then released them. “In fact, why don’t you accompany my mother-in-law and me to temple today?”

  Shala’s eyes grew wide. “She did not invite me.”

  “I’m inviting you.” Kullaa dropped her robe, and began getting dressed.

  It was several seconds before Shala spoke, and when she did her voice was faint. “She does not like me.”

  Kullaa turned around. “Does that matter? I like you.”

  Shala grinned. “Then I will come with you.”

  Kullaa nodded. “Wonderful, now help me get dressed.”

  A half hour later Gula, Shala, and Kullaa were walking through the narrow streets of Ur toward the temple. “I don’t remember asking for a threesome.” Gula muttered as she glanced back toward Shala. The servant kept a respectable distance between herself and the two women.

  “She’s bored, and tired of being cooped up in the house.” Kullaa stopped and began browsing a vendor’s fruit and vegetable offerings.

  “Well, if there isn’t enough for her to do, then perhaps we should dismiss her?” Gula picked up a large pomegranate.

  Kullaa shook her head. “She has no authority, no power over you. Why do you waste your energy disliking her?”

  Gula practically flung the fruit down. “Is that a serious question?”

  Kullaa had not intended to start an argument with Gula. She loved her very much, but the parts of her that were petty and hateful worried her. She hoped to never be on her lover’s bad side. “Forget I said anything. Let’s just get to temple.”

  It was shortly before midday, and the sun was already making it uncomfortably hot as the three women made their way up the long, stone ramp toward the courtyard of the temple. Merchants lined the walkway, selling a variety of goods ranging from silk, wood, goat’s meat, to herbal remedies.

  A gathering of thirty or more men stood listening to an older, gray haired man swathed in white robes speaking about the inequality inherent in a vassal kingdom system. “This is our empire, our land! We must take back what our forefathers bequeathed us, and be damned the consequences. Lives will be lost, but for the greater good!”

  The man’s rhetoric was met with a mixture of applause and hisses. Kullaa imagined these were the types of men her husband sought out.

  “Are you coming?” Gula took Kullaa’s hand, and pulled her along into the temple.

  The temple’s outlying courtyard was open and ran the entire circumference of the complex. It smelled of cooked meat and beer. Brewers and butchers occupied the many alcoves that ran the length of the ten foot tall stone wall. There, goods were purchased by residents and donated to the temple priests.

  Kullaa and Gula continued through the main vestibule of the temple. Shala waited near a duo of lute players, as she lacked the social stature necessary to enter even the outer chambers of the sanctuary.

  Six massive columns covered in ornate green and blue tiles lined the narrow room, at the center of which sat a large fire ring. The limestone walls were covered in images of the sky and moon, depicting the city of Ur’s patron god Nanna. Over the doorway leading to the inner sanctuary, the image of the seated king Ur-Nammu was carved into the stone. Nanna himself was represented by a crescent shape etched into the wall.

  “Gula-Anatu, what tithing do you offer today?” One of the head priests, who had shown an interest in Gamil-Sin and his family since they arrived, walked toward Kullaa and Gula.

  The two women lowered their gazes as the man approached. “Ripaa, we bring five pieces of silver so that Nanna knows our devotion to be true.” Gula handed Ripaa a small leather pouch.

  Kullaa had always thought it odd that one should have to pay for a god’s attention. When she was a child, she had asked her father about such things.

  “There are only so many hours in a day for prayer, Kullaa.” The king had pointed out to his eight year old daughter. “A generous tithing shows the gods that they are in our hearts even if we cannot be in their temples all the time.”

  “And how are you today, Kullaa?” Ripaa’s eyes were a light brown, his skin pale from years spent inside the temple complex and away from the harshness of the sun.

  “I am well.” Kullaa had liked the priests in the Babylonian temple more than the ones she had met while in Ur. All priests were an uncomfortable melding of politici
an, banker, and confidant, but the Ur priests seemed especially concerned with the political moods of the city, and less with the ethereal.

  “I was speaking with your husband earlier today.” Ripaa smiled, and his perfectly straight white teeth seemed to glow in the dim light of the temple. “He has made many friends since arriving in our city.”

  Kullaa nodded. “He has worked hard to make his case for revolt against the Assyrians.”

  “And what do you think?” Ripaa’s question caught both women off-guard as it was unusual for a man, much less a temple priest, to ask a woman what she thought.

  “I –” Kullaa looked at Gula for assistance, but found her lover to be equally unprepared as her eyes remained averted. “I think it will be a difficult task given the size and strength of the Assyrian army.” It was not her opinion, but rather what she had heard her husband say countless times as he courted and lectured political visitors at their house.

  Ripaa’s brow arched. “I’ve heard your husband say the same thing.”

  Kullaa felt a rush of embarrassment to her cheeks, and quickly looked away from the priest’s intense gaze. “Is it so unusual that a wife should share her husband’s point-of-view?”

  Ripaa chuckled, the sound echoing against the stone walls of the temple. “I suppose not.”

  “We have taken enough of your time.” Gula interrupted. “Thank you for seeing us personally.”

  Ripaa, his eyes still fixed on Kullaa, nodded. “It’s my pleasure.”

  Gula took Kullaa by the hand. The two women exited the temple, and wound their way back toward the courtyard.

  “I don’t know what’s come over you since we left the palace.” Gula stopped suddenly and glared at Kullaa.

  “He clearly wanted my opinion.” Kullaa frowned, both irritated and anxious about Gula’s tone.

  “A man wants only to hear his own opinions echoed, and since you have no way of knowing what Ripaa’s feelings on the subject of Assyria are, you should have waited to be given your opinion.”

  “He didn’t seem upset.” Kullaa watched as Gula dismissively walked away from her.

  “Because he knows we will make amends with an increased tithing.” Gula glanced over her shoulder as she continued to walk.

  “So I can say whatever I want, and so long as we pay, the priests don’t care?” Kullaa put her hand on Gula’s shoulder and stopped her.

  Turning around, Gula rolled her eyes. “It’s not that simple, but essentially yes. The priests can ensure Gamil-Sin’s success – or his failure. They hold a tremendous amount of sway.” Gula began walking away from Kullaa. “Let’s find that ridiculous servant of yours. She better have finished the shopping.” The woman glanced up at the noon day sky. “It’s already so hot.”

  Kullaa didn’t immediately follow Gula. She was rarely angry with the woman she loved, but Gula’s abrupt attitude had left Kullaa feeling cross. She felt she had spent so much of her life paying attention to what everyone around her wanted. She wished for once someone would pay mind to what she wanted.

  Chapter 4

  Kullaa laid down on her bed. She remembered the softness of her bedding in the palace. Her new bed, narrow and hard, bore very little resemblance to the opulence she had known.

  “Shall I draw you a bath?” Shala stood next to the bed, her eyes cast downward.

  Kullaa sat up, and took her servant’s hands in hers. “Why don’t you look at me anymore, Shala? Have we not known each other since we were just girls?”

  Shala’s gaze fell on Kullaa, her cheeks crimson. “I cannot bear to look at you.”

  Kullaa frowned. “Have I done something to fall out of your favor?”

  Shala shook her head. “There is nothing you could do that would stifle my affections for you.”

  Kullaa pulled Shala down so she was sitting next to her on the bed. “Then what is it?”

  Without warning, Shala leaned over and kissed Kullaa. It took a second before the shock of her friend’s lips against hers would allow Kullaa to pull away.

  “I’m sorry.” Shala stood, but before she could flee, Kullaa grabbed her hand.

  “Don’t go. You’ve done nothing wrong.” Kullaa stood, and hugged the scared woman. “You know I do not think of you in such a way, but you are like my sister.”

  Shala leaned away from Kullaa, her eyes brimming with tears. “I know you love Gula.”

  Kullaa nodded. “That’s right.”

  “What is this?!” Gula was standing in the doorway, her eyes wide as she glared at Kullaa and Shala.

  Shala stepped back from Kullaa, but before she could leave, Gula lunged toward her. Grabbing the servant’s wrist, she twisted it until the woman was brought to her knees.

  “Gula, stop!” Kullaa attempted to free Shala, but Gula lashed out, knocking her backwards onto the bed.

  “You’ve broken my heart, Kullaa!” Gula gushed, tears streaming from her eyes.

  “There is nothing between Shala and me.” Kullaa insisted as she pushed herself off the bed.

  Gula released Shala, and turned her wrath on Kullaa. “You must think I’m a fool! I saw you two embracing with my own eyes!”

  Kullaa shook her head, and tried to reach for Gula, but her hand was slapped away. A sharp pain shot up her arm and into her heart, as the woman she loved shunned her. “We did nothing wrong!”

  “You lied to me, a mortal sin.” Gula seethed. “You have threatened this house with the retribution of Nergal.”

  Before Kullaa could speak, Gula left the room. Shala cowered on the cold stone floor, her eyes red with tears. “I’m so sorry, I never –”

  Kullaa bent down and helped the woman to her feet. “I will go to her once she calms down. Do not worry.” She brushed several loose strands of Shala’s hair away from her face. “Promise.” Shala nodded, a faint smile finding her lips before she left the room.

  Sitting on her bed, Kullaa rested her head in her hands as she tried to think of how best to talk to Gula. She loved her, but also knew how stubborn she could be when she had something set in her mind. This situation was worse because Gula believed her honor had been slighted, and Kullaa had committed the sin of lying to her.

  Kullaa began pacing, but stopped when she heard heavy footsteps coming down the hall. A second later, Gamil-Sin charged into the room, his face red with anger. “What have you done to my mother?!”

  Before Kullaa could speak, her husband struck her across the right cheek. Falling to the ground, Kullaa struggled to catch her breath as she covered her reddened cheek.

  “Nothing. She misunderstood, and I tried to –”

  Towering over her, Gamil-Sin raised his fist over his wife’s head. “Don’t fill this place with your lies!”

  Kullaa shook her head, and scooted toward the corner of the room. “I’m not lying. Your mother is.”

  Gamil-Sin’s eyes widened, his jaw set, and he grabbed Kullaa by the hair, pulling her onto the bed. “You will not speak ill of my mother! You’ve taken up with a servant, and soiled your family’s name!” He straddled Kullaa’s hips, pinning her to the bed as he began punching her in the face and chest.

  Screaming out in pain, Kullaa held her arms up in a futile attempt to deflect her husband’s blows. Then the onslaught stopped, and Gamil-Sin crawled off his wife.

  “You will go to temple, and pray to Nergal for forgiveness as you have failed in your duties to me and your family.” His declaration made, Gamil-Sin left the room.

  Kullaa rolled onto her side, and pulled her knees up to her chest. Her body ached from the brutality her husband had inflicted on it. More than that, her heart was broken by Gula’s spitefulness. Kullaa could not believe how easily her lover had come to the worst conclusions about her character, and how effortlessly she had been dismissed by a woman she had loved for over a decade.

  Penance seemed empty to Kullaa as she had done nothing wrong. She had not broken her contract to Gamil-Sin. She had not lied, because she had not misrepresented her relationship with Shala.


  Though finding some comfort in her own reassurances, Kullaa knew she would have to seek the counsel and prayers of the priests for the sake of her son. Forcing her stiff arms to push her up and off of the bed, Kullaa resolved to go to temple, and take Gamil with her. She could no longer trust that Gula would not take the boy from her in a twisted attempt to seek revenge for her imagined transgressions.

  “Shala!” Kullaa yelled for her servant.

  Shala entered the room, her eyes wide as she looked at Kullaa’s swollen face. “He – I’m sorry.”

  Kullaa shook her head. “It has nothing to do with you. I want you to go get my son. He is to accompany me to temple within the hour.” Shala nodded, and quickly left the room.

  Kullaa took a deep breath, Gamil-Sin’s musky scent still lingering in the small room. She had nowhere to go, and she knew that even after the temple’s priests gave her absolution she would never again know Gula. Her son was all she had left.

  ***

  Kullaa and Gamil stood in the narrow vestibule of the temple. It was nearly night, and the fire ring at the center of the room cast shadows throughout the space. Kullaa had asked to see Ripaa. She was hopeful the priest, who had clearly taken a liking to her, would see her unannounced.

  “You’ve returned.” Ripaa entered the vestibule. His dark brown leather skirt was nearly covering his ankles, while his torso was bare, except for an elaborate gold breast plate, and a cascading necklace made of jasper and lapis.

  Kullaa smiled, relieved the priest had agreed to receive her. She took the man’s cold hand in hers, and bowed. “Thank you for seeing me.”

  Ripaa looked past Kullaa to Gamil. “Is this your son?”

  Kullaa stepped to the side, and gestured for Gamil to come closer. “This is Gamil-Sin-Merodach, son of Gamil-Sin.”

  Ripaa looked Gamil up and down, a flash of light skittering across his light brown eyes. “What brings you to temple?” He glanced around. “And without tithing?”

  “Forgive me, but I am in need of your help, and if you assist me you will be rewarded.” Kullaa lowered her eyes.