Last Kiss in Tiananmen Square

by Lisa Zhang Wharton

  “Ok. I got another idea. How about I pretend to be sick? So we can stay behind the demonstrators. The police only watch the students. They will not notice us if we stay behind. Then we can mingle with the civilians and spread the pamphlets. Don’t you think this will work?”

  “Yes. I think this might work,” said Yumei.

  Baiyun ran to the side of the road and began vomiting. She squatted and pressed against her belly, vestiges of the bread she ate earlier at University of Political Science and Law running out of her mouth.

  “Baiyun, what’s wrong with you?” Yumei and Longfe came over.

  Baiyun shook her head.

  “Longfe, how about you keep going? Baiyun and I will find you later,” said Yumei. Then she pulled Longfe aside and whispered into his ears. Longfe nodded happily while walking away.

  They stopped at the corner of Xidan market, about a half mile away from the center of the Tiananmen Square. The streets were crowded with demonstrators and shoppers.

  Baiyun and Yumei went into the crowd and threw bundles of pamphlets as far as they could. With the help of the wind, the pink and yellow pamphlets flew up to the sky like the kites, landing on the demonstrators and the civilian crowd.

  Baiyun and Yumei stood on the sidewalk, looking into the sky. They felt enormously proud and relieved. They hugged each other.

  “I can’t believe that your plan worked,” said Yumei.

  “You see I don’t just make up theories,” said Baiyun, feeling really smart.

  By the time Baiyun and Yumei finally reached Tiananmen Square in front of the Monument of the People’s Hero, the sky had turned dark again. Lightening broke out on the top of the Monument, from which hung a huge portrait of Hu Yaobang. Illuminated by the lightening, his solemn face seemed to come alive.

  Baiyun stared at the ten-story high Monument of the People’s Hero and realized something important. She was twenty-one years old and did not remember how many times she had been in front of the Monument. Every time she was here, no matter the circumstances, she felt the Monument was a symbol of people who had sacrificed their lives for something they had believed in. As depicted along the two-meter high marble reliefs, in the last hundred years several important uprisings had changed the course of Chinese history. The Wuchang Uprising, a key event leading up to the Revolution of 1911, inflicted a deadly blow to the feudal dynasty in Chinese history. She wished this democratic movement would eventually lay a corner stone to establish a democratic China. Along with the decline of the legacy of Chairman Mao and the Communist Party, Tiananmen Square and the Monument of the People’s Hero also became a less meaningful symbol in the mind of the people. Baiyun could not believe she was having her same old reaction to the Monument. Her blood rushed through her body and a sense of duty hit her. Yes, that was why she was here, to help her country to solve its problems.

  Baiyun could hear her mother’s voice, “Don’t get involved too much. Think about yourself. It is very hard for China to get over its problems. Go to America, that’s the way to go. Don’t you understand me?” She knew what her mother was talking about. Nowadays all the smart people who had the connections had gone abroad, and very few had come back. She wanted to leave, because increasingly her mother’s lifestyle bothered her. She was afraid that one day the volcano in her house would erupt and it would be very hard for her to get out unscathed. But at this moment, all that had disappeared. She felt lucky to be here, to be involved in such an exciting event for a change.

  “Baiyun, where is my raincoat?” said Yumei, taking her out of her reminiscence.

  Both girls were soaked. They pulled at each other’s drenched clothes and laughed.

  “Look, I can see your bra.” Baiyun pointed at Yumei.

  “Woo, there are your tits. How embarrassing!”

  “What are you laughing about?” Longfe suddenly appeared.

  “Girl problems. It’s not your business!” said Yumei. Longfe laughed as he put his arm around Yumei and squeezed her, which caused water to drip down from her like a sponge.

  “You’re soaked. How about wearing my raincoat?” He draped his long thick raincoat around Yumei’s shoulders and asked. “How are you?”

  “I’m fine.” said Yumei. She seemed comfortable under Longfe’s arms.

  ”You look wonderful. Your face is radiant and lips are red as though you have put on makeup,” said Longfe, looking at Yumei even more intensely.

  “Ha… you know I don’t use makeup,” said Yumei proudly.

  “Of course, you don’t need it.”

  Baiyun decided to leave them alone. As she turned toward the crowd, several student leaders had gathered on the top steps of the Monument.

  “Attention, please! Attention, please! Sit down, everyone,” said a young man, who wore army green uniform. He had long hair, a wide square face and a protruding jaw.

  “That’s Wuer Kaixi. He is one of the student leaders.” Baiyun heard a student say.

  Thunder rolled and dark clouds re-invaded the sky dumping another ocean of cold rain down onto the Square. But everyone sat on the cold and wet concrete without complaining. No one was holding an umbrella. Yumei was leaning against Longfe. Baiyun felt cold and lonely. The first speaker, Professor Chen Mingyuan, was about to speak. He was a noted professor and poet who had edited and published a famous collection of poetry from the 1976 Tiananmen Square movement.

  “Today’s scene reminds me of 1976. It has also reminds many people in the crowd of those memorable, exciting days, of the bloodshed and our final victory!” His passionate and provocative voice drew in Baiyun completely. “I come here first as a citizen, then as your teacher, also as your friend, and finally as an old tired warrior in the struggle for democracy,” continued he, “I want to be the first of your professors to come here and say that I support you.” Deafening cheers and applause followed this speech.

  Baiyun remembered the 1976 Tiananmen Movement. She had been here with her friends just after Primer Zhou had died. The square was packed with people. Hundreds of poems were posted on the Monument of the People’s Hero, and white flowers covered the evergreen shrubs around it like snowflakes. That demonstration brought down the “Gang of Four”, a power-corrupted group led by Mao Zedong’s widow, Jiang Qing, and started a new era in Chinese history. That had been her first taste of the power of the people.

  “Baiyun.”

  Baiyun was startled and looked back to see Longfe and Yumei standing behind her. Yumei was leaning against Longfe with her eyes closed. Her wet face was pale. Longfe was the one who had called her.

  “Yes,” Baiyun said nervously.

  “Yumei doesn’t feel very good. Do you know what we should do?” asked Longfe.

  “She must be getting too cold and hungry. We have to get her out of here and find a warm place for her.” Baiyun’s heart went for Yumei. She wished she could carry her out of there immediately and tend her in bed.

  “It’s impossible to get out of here.” Longfe said hopelessly.

  “We have done enough. Those leaders should not let us suffer any further.” Li Yan sounded very logical.

  Baiyun agreed but did not say anything more. Like being at a splendid party, she did not want the demonstration to end. Going home sounded like hell, and going back to school and sitting in the library forever seemed boring.

  “Baiyun,” said Xia Nan, who was the head of the student association. He carried a video camera and a megaphone. “You girls have done a good job of keeping everyone in good spirits. Why don’t you say something?” He handed over the megaphone.

  Naturally Baiyun thought of Yumei first, “Yumei should do that.”

  “Baiyun, Yumei is in pain. Why don’t you do it? I think you can,” said Longfe.

  Baiyun was glad that Longfe was so encouraging. In a fraction of a second, many thoughts swept through her head. She was pleased, of course, to be asked to stand up in front such a big audience to say something. On the other hand, she was also aware that there were most likel
y plainclothes policemen watching her, and she could jeopardize her chances of going abroad by speaking. She stared at her wet, out-of-shape leather shoes and could not make up her mind. She thought of her plan to study abroad, her mother’s advice, her father’s encouragement, and her eagerness to leave her family. She could feel many pairs of eyes staring at her, which generated enough heat to make her sweat. She hated these occasional moments in life when she had a hard time making up her mind.

  She still remembered what her father told her when she informed him about her plan to take TOEFL.

  “It always has been one of my dreams to go and study abroad.” He sounded rather clear-headed considering how much wine he just had drunk. “But my family was poor and could not afford to send me. I worked as a tutor during college in order to earn some money for me to travel to the place where the exams were held. But by the time I was ready, the opportunity was gone.” Baiyun could see his old eyes glistening.

  “Baiyun, stand up and tell everyone that we have a student sick here. We need help.” Li Yan was the practical one.

  “Baiyun, do it. Don’t be afraid.” Longfe stared at her with his passionate eyes. Baiyun liked it. How could she refuse Longfe’s request and how could she delay Yumei’s chance in getting help?

  “Hi, everybody,” her first sentence was so quiet that no one could hear it.

  “Louder, louder.” Li Yan coached her from below.

  “The rain has finally stopped. I guess our tough spirit has defeated the bad weather,” she continued. Her jaw shivered, yet she was in a good spirits, “I’m glad that I have skipped classes to take part in this historical event, which was always what I wanted to do.” Everyone laughed. “I’m a Chemistry major.” Her voice was drowned in the loud cheering.

  “Baiyun, you have never skipped one single class,” said Li Yan.

  “Hey, Chemistry doesn’t just produce nerds!” shouted someone.

  “The Police are coming! The Police are coming!” A voice in the distance stirred up the crowd. The sea of people started rippling, moving like waves.

  Taking the microphone from Baiyun, Wuer Kaxi exhorted the crowd: “Don’t panic! We aren’t doing anything wrong! We have completely achieved our goal today,” waving his arms. “Being here itself is a victory! We came here in a very orderly way. Let’s leave peacefully the same way. I’d like to have the brigade of marshal come to me and we could use some volunteers, too. We’ll rent buses and send everyone home.” His pockmarked face was gleaming in the dusk.

  “Longfe, Li Yan, would you come and help me?” Xia Nan jumped into the action immediately.

  “Who is going to take care of Yumei?” Longfe was still holding Yumei to his chest.

  “Let Baiyun take over.”

  Longfe handed Yumei to Baiyun and shook her hands. “Baiyun, take care.”

  “No problem.” Baiyun’s heart was dancing with joy because she and Yumei were left alone again. The newfound closeness she felt for Yumei brought her joy, even though she suspected that Yumei did not share the affection in the same way.

  The situation was rather chaotic in the square. More people flowed in after dusk. They were citizens who had just come back from work. The square was dark, without official lights. Many of the curious people just wandered around, and then gathered in circles, and talked quietly, as they listened to the reciting of passionate poetry. There was no sign of a police crackdown. Because they walked slowly, Baiyun and Yumei soon fell behind the crowd. The rain had stopped, but the wind was chilly. They found a stone bench in front of Zhongshen Park, which was a little further down from the Forbidden City, and sat down.

  “How are you, Yumei?” asked Baiyun.

  “I can’t walk anymore,” moaned Yumei. Baiyun held Yumei tightly to keep her warm.

  “Ok, maybe I can find someone with a bike to take you home.”

  Yumei rested her head on Baiyun’s lap and drew her legs up on the bench. It looked like the cold wind had caused another cycle of devastating cramps. Baiyun could tell because Yumei’s moaning was getting louder. Her wet clothes became icy cold. Even Baiyun was shivering.

  “Hi, girls. Do you need any help?” A tall middle aged man stopped his bike in front of them. He wore a pair of tight blue jeans, a white polyester shirt and a tan windbreaker. He sat erect on his very high bike seat. His eyes were deep and bright. His face was chiseled and sun-tanned. He had a head full of thick black hair. His long and straight nose made him look noble.

  This nice man startled Baiyun. He was like a knight appearing in front of her. She blinked her eyes to make sure he was still there.

  “Yes,” said Baiyun. “She is cold and exhausted. We need to take her home immediately. We are from Beida, a long way from home.”

  The man swung his leg across the bike and got off. He sat next to Yumei and felt her head softly, “she has a fever.” Then he turned to Baiyun. “My name is Dagong. I work in the Beijing Electronics Parts Factory. I think we should try to take her to Fuwai Hospital Emergency Room, which is not too far from here. Would you help me move her onto the bike?”

  They lifted Yumei up and let her hold on to both of their shoulders.

  “Where are we going?” Yumei slowly opened her eyes.

  “We are going to take you to the hospital.” Then Baiyun asked Dagong, “front seat or back?”

  “Let’s put her in the front,” said Dagong matter of factly.

  “Why not in the back?”

  “Because you are going to sit in the back,” commanded Dagong.

  “Me? I can take the bus. Don’t bother.” Baiyun’s heart leaped. Yes, of course, she wanted to go with them but she was also realistic.

  “You don’t believe I can take both of you on my bike?” Dagong beamed at her and looked more attractive.

  “I.. .do. But.. .it’s hard. A lot of traffic police are here, you know?”

  “Trust me. I know the area.”

  Baiyun did not respond. Staring at Tiananmen Square in the dark, people scurrying around, she suddenly felt tired.

  “Come on. I can carry five or six people on a bike, no problem.” said Dagong firmly. He started to sound like a knight with magic power.

  “Really?”

  “Yes. I used to work for the Beijing Acrobatic Company,” boasted Dagong.

  Dagong sat on the bike first. Baiyun jumped onto the rear fender seat which was a little too high for her. Dagong kicked the ground, and they were off.

  “Hold on to me, if you have trouble staying on,” said Dagong. She wrapped her arms tightly around him.

  Baiyun could feel heat radiating from his body. She knew he was riding hard. She gradually leaned closer until finally she was resting her head against his back.

  “So, you are from Beida.”

  “Yes. Have you heard of it?” Baiyun teased him. She couldn’t believe that she was in such a happy mood.

  “Are you kidding? Of course, it’s the most famous university in the country. What do you study?”

  “Chemistry.”

  “I have a degree in physics.”

  “You have been in college too?”

  “Yes. That was ten years ago. You see, I’m very old.”

  “No, I don’t think so.” So Dagong would be at least ten years old than she was, thought Baiyun. She could not believe her luck that she had run into such an attractive older man.

  “What you are doing here in Tiananmen Square is great. Now I’m always looking forward to the evenings. I could just walk out of my alley, and see what’s going on. It has become a habit.”

  “Do you live close by?” Baiyun realized it was very useful to know someone in the neighborhood if they were going to come here more often.

  “Yes, I have no excuses for not getting involved. Although I’m just a technician, I support you students whole-heartily. I believe you are going to make a difference.”

  “I hope so. I’m just a follower.”

  “You are telling me I’m just helping two followers?”

&nb
sp; “But that’s worthwhile,” said Baiyun.

  “Yes. Why?”

  “Don’t you think so?”

  “I guess you are right, college student.”

  “How is Yumei?” asked Baiyun. She just remembered that her friend Yumei who was still sitting on the front handlebar and she hadn’t heard from her for a while.

  “She is sleeping, I think,” said Dagong while pedaling faster.

  They rode through many small streets and alleys, and stayed away successfully from the traffic police. It was a pleasant journey for both Baiyun and Dagong. Dagong had never ridden a bike that ran so fast and smoothly. Baiyun had never found a place so comfortable and so like home.

  Chapter 4

  Baiyun was riding her bicycle home while still indulging in the sweet dream of the fun episode in Tiananmen Square last night. As the last ray of sunlight disappeared behind the horizon and sky turned gray, the reality hit her. Meiling called her dormitory this morning and the building manager woke her up from her dream. She told her that her mother was sick and wanted her to go home. How sick could her mother be? Wouldn’t she rather see her boyfriend Lao Zheng instead of her? She didn’t leave until she was done with her classes.

  The weather was windy and gloomy. A few people walked on the street alone and swayed with the wind. Women covered their faces with thin transparent nylon scarves; men pulled down their hats’ brims to hide their identities. They clutched their food baskets as though they might be snatched away at any moment. The loudspeakers on campus kept telling people not to go to Tiananmen Square in order to avoid dire consequences. Baiyun parked the bicycle outside and walked into the main entrance of the apartment building and then her own home on the first floor. Right away she noticed Meiling was lying in bed moaning in her bedroom with the door open for once.

  “Mom, what can I do for you?” asked Baiyun.

  “Nothing. I should… be better tomorrow. You should bring some food for your father. I don’t know what he is doing in the other room.”

  Baiyun was not used to take care of Meiling because she rarely asked her for help. She would rather deal with her father. She was curious about what her father was doing because she smelled something funny.