Last Kiss in Tiananmen Square

by Lisa Zhang Wharton

  “Let’s not give into government’s pressure. In a democratic society, demonstration is our right. This is our first step toward having a democratic society. So it is our condition for a dialogue with the government. Long live democracy! Long live freedom!” The crowd cheered with him.

  Longfe stepped over. He gathered up Big Li, Yumei, and a few other student leaders. “Let’s have a meeting to decide about the demonstration tomorrow. Baiyun, you should come to this meeting as a News Center reporter.”

  The crowd scattered and Longfe led a few students into the dormitory building. As they walked in the corridor toward the News Center, Baiyun noticed a few students in a dormitory shaving each other’s heads and writing their wills. She nudged Yumei.

  “See. How do you think we could stop the rally?” Baiyun said and dragged Yumei to the room where these students were. One of them with a half-shaved head showed them his will on the back of a T-shirt written with red ink: “I join the student movement because I love my country. I’m not a counterrevolutionary and a lawless agitator. Please understand my actions.”

  “Do you really think that you might die?” asked Baiyun. She was a little shaken by this. All this time, she was immersed in the class boycott and excitement of seeing Dagong. Shedding blood, is that possible? She asked herself.

  “Let’s go,” said Yumei as though she had thought through all these potential perils.

  “Wait. Let’s me write this down in my notebook so we can broadcast it from our radio station.” Baiyun wrote down the message written on the T-shirt and left with Yumei.

  They entered a room next to the News Center. The room had four bunk beds with two on each side. As Baiyun entered, the smell of food and dirty laundry welcomed her. They managed to squeeze in between Longfe and Big Li in one of the lower bunks. Several had to climb up to upper bunks since the lower bunks had been taken.

  “What do you all think? Should we offer a compromise?” asked Longfe.

  Yumei stared at him and punched him on the arm, “Are you crazy? Did you see the students next door? They are shaving their heads and ready to die.”

  “It’s too late to inform the Beijing Worker’s Union not to join us,” said Baiyun. She was looking forward to marching along with Dagong. She couldn’t imagine going back to the classroom anymore, at least not for a while. The genie is out of the bottle, she was telling herself. She heard this expression from a foreign journalist and liked it. She was not sure about the “Flying Tiger Brigade” due to Meiling. But she couldn’t worry so much. Actually she was a little proud of her mother.

  “We can show the government that we are serious about the dialogue,” said Longfe calmly. “I mean we can offer our compromise by only marching to the Third Ring Road and then turn back, only a third of way to Tiananmen Square.”

  “But the genie is out of the bottle. Who can stop it?” Baiyun blurted out. She couldn’t believe she was the one who wants to break the school’s regulations.

  “Yes. I support Baiyun. She is right. At this point, there is no way we could stop the rally tomorrow. Let’s fight fire with fire!” Big Li shouted. His shaved head looked shining under the sunlight that crept through the window.

  “Ok. I will tell the school official that the rally is on and we will try to turn back at the Third Ring Road but no guarantee,” said Longfe. Then he stood up and went to the center of the room. “The rally is on!” He extended his hand and others joined in. One after another, their hands piled up one by one to agreement. As Baiyun put her hand in, her heart beat fast. She envisioned a new life and a different kind of life ahead of her, for which she might be willing to sacrifice her life. She closed her eyes and asked herself, has she gone mad?

  Early in the morning, Baiyun was awakened by noise of people whispering in the room.

  “Yumei and Li Yan. Why didn’t you wake me up?” said Baiyun. She really didn’t want to miss this rally.

  “You are awake. Shuuu.” Li Yan put her fingers on her lips. “Be quiet. Wenjing is still sleeping.”

  “Is she going?” asked Baiyun.

  “No. She is sick.”

  “Ya. I’m not surprised,” whispered Baiyun.

  “That’s the official answer,” said Wenjing sticking out her head from under the blanket. She had short bobbed hair and her smooth round face looked pale. “I seriously think you guys are totally crazy. You will be rolled over by tanks and be forgotten.” She put her head back under the blanket and started snoring.

  “Wow. What an inspirational speech!” said Yumei and then looked at Baiyun and Li Yan whispering. “She is a total coward. Let’s leave her rotting in bed.”

  After brushing their teeth and packing up some water and snacks, they raced to the men’s dormitory #28. Of course, they couldn’t move very fast. Several thousand students were lined up in the space between women’s dormitory #31 and men’s dormitory #28 by the north gate. They could barely see Longfe and Big Li in the front holding flags but it was impossible to get there. Baiyun was on tiptoes looking for Dagong but to no avail. They followed the sea of people after a student with a loudspeaker announced, “Let’s march.”

  As soon as they marched out of the Beida gate, journalists, photographers, and camera crews for TV stations followed them. Then Baiyun’s eyes lit up. She saw the sign saying “Beijing Worker’s Union.” “That’s Dagong.” She yelled and then turned to Yumei and Li Yan, “Bye. I have to run because I told Dagong I would join him in the march.”

  “No wonder, you have been so happy lately. You have a boyfriend, don’t you?” Yumei teased her.

  “Of course, that’s always the reason,” said Li Yan mater-of-fact.

  Baiyun waved at them pretending not hearing what they said. Her anticipation of seeing Dagong had overwhelmed her while fighting her way toward the “Beijing Worker’s Union” crowd. This crowd was easy to identify because they were a small group of muscular workers wearing black T-shirts, black workpants and white headbands stating “Democracy”. They did look like a group of intimidating bodyguards. Baiyun spotted six-foot tall Dagong right away. He was carrying a red flag with white print of “Democracy in China Now”. In order not to disturb him, Baiyun decided to sneak in and follow Dagong secretly. A few workers tried to ask her why she was there. She put her fingers across her mouth to indicate that they should be quiet. Of course, that didn’t last long. A few workers started chuckling quietly. Dagong turned around and saw Baiyun. He halted and called out, “Baiyun.” Then he tried to embrace her, which interrupted the whole flow of the worker’s union group. He pulled Baiyun to the side after giving his flag to a worker and telling them to go on.

  They stood under a tree holding each other’s hands staring at each other. Although it had been three days since they saw each other, they still remembered where they had left off. Dagong had left her alone that day in the middle of Tiananmen Square without a proper kiss-good-bye.

  For Dagong, this was the moment he had been anticipating for two days since he last saw her. Logically this beautiful, but nerdy girl with complicated family background had intrigued him. He wanted to know her more and understand her more, most of all, spend more time with her, alone. Emotionally, he just wished he could kiss her right here under this tree pretending not to notice people on the street, especially now when Baiyun was gazing at him with her two big innocent eyes. She looked so beautiful with her two brown eyes under two thick eyebrows, her red lips and her blushed smooth slightly freckled face. The small mole on her face next to her nose was definitely an enhancement for her. Yet, did he deserve her? Maybe 23 years ago he did when he was fresh out of high school and just about to enter the famous Beijing University. He didn’t now when he was old and married with a son. How would he tell her all that? How would she react to this? He didn’t have answers for all these questions. All he knew was that he couldn’t stop seeing her. It was a time of change. Maybe his life would change dramatically soon.

  He gave Baiyun a hug. Baiyun naturally fell into his chest a
nd buried her head in it. Then she looked up at him. Their faces were so close to each other. After a seemingly an eternity, Dagong broke away and said, “Let’s catch up with the others.” He held onto Baiyun’s left hand and started running and shoving through the crowd. Baiyun was a little disappointed after her anticipation of a passionate kiss from him. She hoped it would come later at a more appropriate time. She was grateful that it didn’t happen in public. She hated to be seen in public especially when Meiling could show up any minute and Lao Zheng would then take her home on his hideous motorcycle. She was so excited to be a part of this movement along with Dagong. With Dagong she ran toward the “Beijing Worker’s Union” banner. As she was running, the cold wind swept through her face. She galloped and if not for Dagong’s tight grip of her hand, she felt she could leap over the crowd. No one could stop her. They tried to run in the wooded area next to the road where it was not so crowded.

  “Wow, you are fast,” exclaimed Dagong who looked at Baiyun passionately.

  “Of course.” Baiyun stared him back with a big smile. How heavenly this was, she said to herself.

  It didn’t take long before they caught up with the “Beijing Worker’s Union” group. Dagong and Baiyun took over a banner stating “Democracy in China Now” and marched in the front row. A middle-aged worker pointed to Baiyun and said, “Good for you, Dagong. You even recruited a girl for our team. What boost for our morale!” Dagong nodded happily to him.

  The street was getting very crowded. Thousands of Beijing citizens left work and school joining the march. Some climbed up to trees shouting, “We love you, students!” “We support you whole heartedly!” When they were approaching the Three Ring Road, students from other universities like “Qinghua University” and “Beijing College of Economics and Politics” joined them. The common folks were lining the street cheering and hitting pots and pans. When everyone was in high spirits, the march screeched to a halt. A row of policemen in crisp green uniform and red stars on their hats above visors stood in front of the demonstrators facing them. Each of them carried a club. A pistol was visible at their sides. Their faces were emotionless.

  “Let me talk to them,” Longfe squeezed forward with a loud speaker.

  He walked toward one of the police in the middle followed by Big Li and Yumei.

  “Should we go and back him up,” whispered Baiyun to Dagong. She was worried about Longfe, Big Li, and especially Yumei. She knew how ruthless these policemen could be.

  “Not yet,” said Dagong. Involuntarily, Dagong inched forward a few steps ready to leap over come to the aid of the students.

  Longfe stopped about a meter before the middle policeman who moved forward a few steps. He saluted to Longfe and Longfe saluted back.

  “We students are marching peacefully. Would you please let us go by?”

  “You have to guarantee to march orderly with no destruction of public property,” said the policeman.

  Longfe turned back to the crowd and asked, “Can we promise not to destroy any public property?”

  “Yes.” The crowd said in unison.

  “Do we want to turn back to our universities?”

  “No.”

  Longfe turned back to the policeman. The policeman nodded and indicated the other policemen to open the road.

  “Victory!” The crowd roared. More people were joining the march now. When they were passing the Friendship Hotel, students from “Beijing Normal University” and “Beijing Agricultural University” joined in. They had taken over the entire street. The street traffic had virtually been stopped. Buses and even bicycles had been paralyzed in place. Another wall of policemen stopped the flow of the demonstrators. Before Longfe could go forward to talk to the police, a few students from “Beijing Normal University” broke through the line by sneaking through between policemen.

  “Peace, peace,” yelled Longfe with the loud speaker. The policemen somehow believed Longfe and opened up the road.

  “The policemen are so civilized,” commented Baiyun. Her face was red with excertion and her pink sweater was soaked with sweat. Yet her spirit was high. She held the banner and was writing the best episode of her life.

  “Don’t be happy too early,” warned Dagong. Being older, he was much more cautious. Yet he could do nothing but follow the sea of people. He thought this display of tolerance by the government was only temporary. He had seen these situations happen many times before. During the 1957 anti-rightest movement when he was very little, the government encouraged people to criticize the government. In the end, the people who were honest and dared to stick their necks out were thrown into jail for life. It happened merely thirty-two years ago. The old saying was that it takes a generation to forget about things like that. What was in these people’s mind? The students were young and wouldn’t have witnessed the anti-rightest campaign. Hadn’t their parents told them? Hadn’t they heard from the news? Hadn’t they learnt from their history lessons? They must have gone mad including him. What is a human life worth in China anyway?

  As they were moving forward, Baiyun noticed they were approaching Tiananmen Square. The sun had hidden itself behind the clouds temporarily. The cool breeze swept through people along with some dust, which was normal for the Beijing Spring. She heard people started to shout different slogans like “We love the People’s Liberation Amy!” and “The People’s Liberation Amy loves People!” She glanced around. She experienced a bone-chilling shiver, which would typically only happen in winter. Soldiers equipped with rifles were posted everywhere. Some stood in a row along both sides of the Changan Avenue. Some were marching in the distance.

  “Dagong, did you see the armed soldiers? Am I hallucinating?” asked Baiyun.

  “No. They are real,” said Dagong solemnly. “We should be very careful.” He added.

  As they were talking, the march stopped suddenly at the intersection of the Changan Avenue and Xidan Avenue. Looking ahead, Baiyun could see a huge wall of soldiers ahead of them blocking the road. Big Li ventured forward and tried to run through the imposing barrier, only to see him fail this time. Two soldiers crossed their riffles in front of him trying to push him away. The more the soldiers tried to block him; the more he tried to push forward. Longfe and another student tried to pull Big Li back.

  “Let’s turn around, Big Li. We have done more than enough,” said Longfe. Big Li struggled and still pushed forward.

  “We are almost there. Ten more steps, we are in Tiananmen Square.” A soldier hit Big Li on the head, grabbed his arms and twisted them behind him.

  “The People’s army loves people,” said Longfe calmly. “Please let him go. We will turn around.” A soldier clubbed Longfe on the shoulder with his rifle butt.

  Dagong jumped forward to the soldiers. “Don’t hit the students. Hit me. I’m guilty of encouraging them to go forward.” He waved his fist in front of the soldier. A soldier pulled him over and started beating him with his rifle butt. Other workers joined in to fight the soldiers. Some of the workers shielded students away.

  Seeing Dagong was getting hurt, Baiyun cried out, “Dagong.” She ran toward him but quickly blocked by a worker. “Crazy girl. You will be hurt.” The workers, true to their pledge to work as bodyguards, got together and formed a shield between the soldiers and students.

  “The People’s Army loves people,” chanted citizen on the streets.

  “Stop hurting the students. Be on the winning side!”

  “Down with the corrupted government!”

  “Free Press. Democracy in China!”

  Once again, the sheer mass of the people’s power overwhelmed the army. The clouds moved aside as well as the soldiers and the sun was shining once again. People swarmed into the vast square.

  “Dagong.” Baiyun broke loose from the worker who restrained her from going forward. Lying on the ground surrounded by many students and workers was Dagong. Blood was streaming down from his forehead and one of his eyes was swollen. Baiyun knelt by him and wept.

>   “He tried to protect us. So he got the most hits,” cried a young worker.

  “I’m a doctor and I can take care of him,” said a middle-aged woman in a white coat with a stethoscope draped softly over her shoulders.

  “Please take care of him first,” whispered Dagong while pointing his hand toward the other worker lying with blood dripping off the edge of his mouth.

  “I can do both. I need to take care of you first since you have a head wound,” said the doctor.

  She put antiseptic on Dagong’s wounds and wrapped them with bandages, and then she went to take care of the other wounded worker. Baiyun held Dagong to her chest and fed him some water. Dagong gazed at her, and to him, she looked exceptionally beautiful at that moment. Dagong smiled. He could never find anything better than this, to be held and nursed by Baiyun. He wished this moment would last forever.

  “De, De, De.” The sound of motorcycles approaching could be heard. Meiling sitting on the back seat of Lao Zheng’s motorcycle, Broomstick and two other young men on scooters were slowly approaching as the gathered crowd opened up a path for them.

  “Baiyun, are you Ok? My poor daughter.” Meiling jumped off the slowly moving motorcycle, tripped and almost fell. She ran to Baiyun, kneeling and holding her face.

  “Mother, I’m fine. Look at my friend. He’s the one you should be concerned about.” Baiyun shoved Meiling away and felt embarrassed.

  “Ok. We can take him home. Do you live close by?” asked Meiling.

  “Yes.” Dagong tipped his face toward the side and closed his eyes.

  “Dagong, what a hero. I’m proud of you.” Broomstick squeezed his skinny body through wall of people. “I can take you home. Ok?” He said as he squatted by Baiyun and said in a soft voice. Dagong nodded.

  Dagong didn’t want to go home. He wished that he could just die here. But fate didn’t give him the easiest solution. Now he had to go home to face his wife Zhang Ping and his son Little Turnip. Baiyun would find out everything. Even worse, Zhang Ping would discover everything. But his head hurt and his whole body was in pain. He could do nothing but oblige.